


To Heal a Broken Soul

by Ice_Elf



Series: To Heal a Broken Soul [1]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: M/M, Slavery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-15
Updated: 2012-09-03
Packaged: 2017-11-10 00:15:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 37
Words: 118,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/460125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ice_Elf/pseuds/Ice_Elf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After losing Ianto to the rift and Gwen to Retcon, Jack leaves Cardiff with the Doctor. Then, in an alien market place, he finds Ianto again - but things are not as simple as they initially seem.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to black_crystal_dragon for beta-ing.

Jack’s greatcoat had long been insufficient protection against the weather. Waiting beneath the water tower, Jack had been battered by the storm for the past ten minutes. If he had been of a mind to care he would have been annoyed, but the rain that stung his face and trickled down his neck was barely noticed.

If Ianto had seen him, he would have complained something rotten and told Jack that he should have waited in the tourist office. Then again, if Ianto could see him, there would be no need to be out in the storm, waiting for a man who would likely shoot him on sight had he the means.

It would be less than he deserved. This was all his fault, and it could easily have been avoided if he had been more attentive – less wrapped up in grief and heartbreak. If had noticed, or allowed rationality to break through the mental fog that had clung to him these past few days instead of brooding in his office or on a rooftop, then he could have seen this coming and prevented it before anyone else had to share in his suffering.

The thunder off footsteps caught his attention, but he didn’t glance up. He gave no reaction, even when he was bodily shoved against the water tower, a fist connecting with his jaw, snapping his head back against the cold metal.

“I’m going to fucking kill you, Harkness!”

Jack had expected that, but not that the onslaught would be over quite so quickly. He glanced up, ignoring his blurred vision, and reached out a placating hand to the man in front of him. The hand was batted away and Jack let it drop back to his side.

“Rhys, I am so sorry.”

“Sorry?” Rhys exploded, taking a step closer to Jack and looking as if he were going to hit him again. “You phone me, tell me to meet you here and then all you can say is sorry? Tell me what the fuck has happened to my wife!” The moment that the words slipped from his mouth, Rhys’ whole demeanour changed. His shoulders sagged in defeat and he cradled his head in his hands. “Just tell me what’s happened to Gwen.”

“Come with me,” Jack said as he ushered Rhys onto the invisible lift. “It’s better that I explain this inside.”

He pressed a button on his wrist strap and the lift descended into the Hub. Rhys didn’t say anything, absently scanning the Hub for any sign of Gwen. Jack placed a hand on Rhys’s shoulder when the man let out a strangled gasp, his entire body stiffening. He followed the Welshman’s gaze to where Gwen lay, unmoving, on the sofa. Her eyes were closed and if he hadn’t known any better he would have thought her dead. The thought jolted him out of his grief as he realised that Rhys was still thinking the worst.

“She’s alive,” he said as the lift ground to a halt. He stepped off, releasing Rhys so he could rush to Gwen’s side. He hung back for a moment, closing his eyes and letting out a deep sigh as he fought to contain his warring emotions. Then he followed Rhys.

Rhys never even glanced up as Jack approached. He knelt by Gwen’s head, stroking her hair lovingly. A pang of jealousy shot through Jack, and he quickly fought it down. He had no right envying what Gwen and Rhys had.

“What happened to her?” Rhys broke the tense silence, voice cracking as he glanced, only momentarily, up to Jack. “Is she going to be alright?”

Jack sighed, braced himself for the inevitable and said, “Ianto got taken by the rift three days ago.”

He swallowed, forcing down a wave of grief and guilt. It would not do to encourage Rhys’ sympathy when the man’s wife lay in the state she was in.

“She told me,” Rhys admitted. “I’m sorry. I know he meant a lot to you but what does this have to do with Gwen”

Jack nodded blankly. “I... This is my fault. I was so busy grieving that I didn’t realise how much Gwen was hurting. I shut myself away and...” he took a deep breath, pushing thoughts of grief and blame to the back of his mind. “She’s taken enough retcon to make her forget the last two years. When she wakes she won’t remember Torchwood, or me. There’s nothing I can do. I’m sorry.”

He paused, running a hand through his hair and looking down at Gwen before taking a blue file from the coffee table and handing it to Rhys.

“I’ve arranged for you to move out of town. You’ve got a three bed house near Newport. All the details are in the file. You can stay at Harwood's and Gwen can join the police force, if she wants – you’ve got a C.V. and a glowing reference in there. As for...”

“Hang on!” Rhys cut in, looking up from the file. “You can’t just reorganise our lives for us! We have rights! You can’t mess people about like this! You’ve messed her life up and now you’re doing the same to me – you strut about this city acting like you’re some sort of God! You’re not, Harkness, you’re just a man like the rest of us and you have no right to ruin our lives!”

Rhys took a deep calming breath, noting the slump in Jack’s shoulders and the way he couldn’t quite meet his gaze.

“It was never my intention to ruin your lives,” Jack said softly. “Now, it’s all I can do to make this better. Gwen can’t stay in Cardiff. There are too many memories, too many reminders of Torchwood – and with me gone, there will be no one to explain it all to her. This way you can take her away and start again – a normal life. Blame her memory loss on a car accident; tell her you moved out of Cardiff to start a family. I’m sure you can think of something.” He turned away, rubbing a hand over his face as he continued. “She’s a wonderful woman, Rhys. Take care of her, give her everything she deserves. I’m sorry this had to happen, I’m so sorry.”

Any anger Rhys had felt towards Jack faded. Jack was clearly trying to keep check on his emotions after he had lost everyone who mattered to him. Rhys felt a twinge of sympathy as he studied Jack’s back. The man had lost his friends – his partner, and Rhys knew that his own lot was trifling in comparison with that. Jack was hurting, and yet he was still doing everything he could for Gwen, even though it was breaking his heart to say goodbye. Before Rhys could offer even the tiniest comfort, Jack had turned back to him, his face a blank mask.

“She’ll be fine,” he assured Rhys with barely a look at Gwen. “She’ll wake soon; we should get you both out of here before then.”

Rhys nodded but didn’t move, flicking through the folder for something to do. “What will you do? You said you were leaving?”

It was said with barely a glance up at Jack. For all their differences, for all he had disliked the Captain, Rhys hadn’t the heart to leave him alone like this. Jack nodded, crouching beside the sofa to brush a kiss over Gwen’s forehead and whisper something into her ear.

“I’m leaving. I’ve got a friend coming to collect me. Don’t worry about me – I’ll be fine”

He looked up at Rhys and smiled, it would have been his usual brilliant grin if not for the fact it didn’t reach his eyes. Rhys nodded, deciding not to challenge the lie. “Are you coming back?”

Jack nodded, glancing around the Hub with a wistful eye. “Someone has to keep an eye on the rift. I’ll be back before you know it.”

* * *

Jack had watched Rhys drive away with Gwen. He had waved as they disappeared, lingering on the Plass for as long as he could bear. The people who surrounded him paid him little notice, but his gaze was drawn to every group of friends, every couple who hurried across the bay beneath umbrellas. It was with a pang that Jack watched them, knowing that a week ago he could have joined them, sharing an umbrella with Ianto as they hurried to dinner.

There was no need of an umbrella tonight. The rain was a blessing that gave reason for the wetness on his cheeks.

He wasn’t sure how long he stood there, but it was long enough to become so oblivious to the outside world that the sound he had once spent years listening for went unnoticed. He was startled out of his stupor when a hand landed on his shoulder.

“Jack, what happened?”

Jack turned, taking in the concerned features of the Doctor. “They’re gone...” he whispered, voice cracking. “I’ve lost them.”

The Doctor drew Jack into an embrace, glad that for once the TARDIS and the Rift had co-operated and allowed him to land only hours after receiving Jack’s stricken phone call.

“Is there anything you need to get?” he asked, pushing Jack back so he could see his response. When Jack nodded, the Doctor released him and walked alongside him to the invisible lift.

Although it took some effort, the Doctor resisted the urge to explore the Torchwood Hub. There would be time for that in the future, he assured himself, when Jack’s heart had healed and he needed to come home. He lingered by the rift manipulator, watching as Jack grabbed a small rucksack from his office and crossed to a computer terminal. The Doctor followed him, peering over his shoulder.

“I’m putting the Hub in ninety percent lockdown until I return,” Jack explained. “The only entrance that will open will be the pterodactyl’s. I can’t let anything happen to her.”

The Doctor nodded, glancing up as the pterodactyl swept overhead.

“Where did you get her from – and more to the point, is she safe?” he asked, staring at Jack incredulously.

“She’s safe. Only a danger to the sheep population.” Jack smiled faintly. “She came through the Rift. Ianto found her and helped me catch her. She... she dropped me on him.” He trailed off, concentrating on the screen. The Doctor, sensing he’d asked too much, slipped away to examine the various pieces of technology that lay scattered around. One especially complex piece of technology turned out to be a coffee machine. Propped up against it was a photograph showing Jack and the young man the Doctor recognised as Ianto; they were leaning against the railings of the bay, arms around each other’s waists as they grinned for the camera.

“Gwen took that, a few weeks ago,” Jack said, appearing behind the Doctor to pick the photo up. He let his fingers drift over the photograph before tucking it away in his pocket. “I’m ready.”

The Doctor nodded, watching as Jack moved away towards the invisible lift. “So,” he said as he climbed onto the paving slab beside Jack, jamming his hands into his pockets and forcing a smile onto his face. “Where to then, Jack? We can go to the Crystal moons of Alfrexia Minor, if you like - or Women Wept, or Barcelona! Or what about Polaria Three! There’s this brilliant market there! You can buy almost anything!”

Jack shrugged lightly, “Your choice,” he said, stepping off the paving slab and pressing a button on his wrist strap. “There’s only one place I’d like to go, and we both know that I can’t.”

The Doctor sobered instantly. “You can’t go back, Jack. You can’t save them – you know the rules.”

Jack didn’t reply; instead he headed towards the TARDIS. With a sigh, the Doctor followed. He knew only too well what damage Jack could do if he went back and altered time ; he didn’t want the Reapers descending on Cardiff – the poor residents already had to put up with enough. He resolved to keep an eye on Jack over the next few days. The temptation to go back and put things right, to snatch Ianto from the jaws of the Rift had to be immense, and Jack would be travelling in the one ship that could make it possible. It didn’t matter that Jack knew the rules – he himself knew the rules, and yet if presented with the impossible - a chance to save Gallifrey and the Timelords - the Doctor could not say with absolute certainty that he could resist the temptation.

When he entered the TARDIS, Jack was already running a hand down the control panel and murmuring something to the TARDIS. When he approached, Jack glanced up.

“Thanks for coming, Doctor. I really appreciate this,” he said, closing his eyes and leaning back against the console.

“You’re always welcome here, Jack,” the Doctor said. “Never mind what I’ve said in the past.”

For a moment, Jack met his gaze and smiled the briefest and faintest of smiles. The Doctor was at a loss to identify the emotions warring behind his friend’s mask, and even the smallest clues were lost when Jack turned away and picked up his bag, wordlessly leaving the console room.

The Doctor stepped up to the TARDIS controls, feeling her concern, and smiled. “He’ll be fine, in time,” he reassured her. “He needs somewhere quiet to adjust. Luckily, I know just the place.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Where are we heading, Doctor?”

Jack strode into the console room wearing a pair of faded jeans and a white t-shirt, a leather jacket swung over one arm. He had abandoned the RAF greatcoat almost instantly; it held too many reminders of his team – especially Ianto, who had made his mark in the form of little stitches that healed many a rip, and which were still visible if one really looked. He had now spent a little over a month on the TARDIS, and although the grief and the guilt were no longer as raw it still hurt to remember Gwen and Ianto. He knew he was in no fit state to return home to a city that held so many reminders of them.

The Doctor grinned widely, rushing round the console to press buttons and flick switches. “We’re going shopping! Polaria Three – best market in the universe – you can buy almost anything!”

Jack leant against the railing and watched the Doctor. His enthusiasm was infectious, and Jack soon found himself grinning. He had been to Polaria Three before, but when travelling with the Doctor it was impossible to expect a normal shopping trip. Already, Jack could feel the familiar wave of excitement searing through him.

The TARDIS came to a juddering halt and the Doctor grinned across at Jack. “Polaria Three, in the year 4096.” He tossed Jack a narrow strip of plastic. “There’s about ten million of the local currency on there. Don’t spend it all at once.”

Jack caught the plastic and slipped it into his jeans pocket before he pulled his leather jacket on.

“Looking for anything in particular, eh, Doctor?” he asked, watching the man pull on his own long coat.

“Nah, just looking!” the Doctor told him. “Takes all the fun out of shopping when you’ve got a list.” He headed towards the door, glancing back when he realised Jack wasn’t immediately following. “Well, come on then!”

Jack chuckled, the Doctor’s enthusiasm catching hold of him and tugging him out of the ship into the bustling streets of Polaria Three.

The TARDIS had landed in a small alleyway off one of the main streets of a bustling city. Polaria Three was a small planet, consisting largely of desert. This city had sprung up around a rare water spring beneath the surface. Sandstone buildings lined narrow, dusty streets that were filled with market stalls. Men and women of all races called out, enticing the many varied shoppers to view their items. As they wandered through the streets, Jack found himself soon peeling off the leather jacket and casting it over one arm. The Doctor seemed immune to the heat, however, and darted about viewing the various items with growing enthusiasm.

“Look, Jack, this art is from the Xangon System,” he called, gesturing to a vase decorated in the most lurid of colours. Jack smiled politely and glanced around. The Doctor had spoken correctly – it did seem as if you could buy almost anything on Polaria Three. Books sat alongside weapons, computers alongside clothing; a food stall owner was chatting to his neighbour, who owned what seemed like the Polarian equivalent of a sex shop. Jack contemplated going closer to investigate but the Doctor had already disappeared in the crowd, and Jack didn’t want to lose him. Not when the Doctor had an uncanny ability for finding trouble. With a sigh, he hurried through the crowd after the Doctor.

They spent a trouble-free afternoon in the market. Although Jack had bought nothing, the Doctor had his hands full with the many pieces of art that he had insisted upon having. The crowds seemed to be getting thicker as they neared the centre of town, and Jack could not help but be relieved that the Doctor showed little interest in many of the more popular stalls that lined the routes.

As they rounded a corner into the central square, Jack’s attention was caught by a group of aliens gathered around a raised platform. On the stage was a richly dressed alien holding a microphone and leading what appeared to be an auction. It was with a jolt that Jack realised that the young female beside him was the ‘item’ for sale.

“Unfortunately,” the Doctor said sadly, “In selling almost anything, Polaria Three also allows the sale of slaves. This market supplies more than just this galaxy.”

“Can’t we do anything?” Jack asked, unable to tear his eyes away from the scene.

“I’m afraid not. To do so would be to find the root of the problem,” the Doctor explained. “The slavers themselves do not run the auctions; we would only be putting a stop to these middlemen if we were to act. The trade would simply go elsewhere.”

Jack nodded, watching as the auctioneer proclaimed one man the winner and presented the young girl to her master. He was about to turn away and follow the Doctor when the next slave was brought on stage. The auctioneer’s voice drowned out the crowd as he described the slave:

“This young slave is a human male in his second decade of life. He has had one owner of two years and is well broken in. He is free of diseases and generally healthy. As you can see he is also pleasing to look at...”

The rest of the auctioneers words were lost on Jack as the slave’s head was jerked roughly upwards. The slave was half starved; tangled dark hair fell to his shoulders and scars covered his thin body, but he was unmistakable.

“Ianto...”

The whisper fell from his lips, and then he was running through the crowd, shouldering his way to the front of the stage. There was no time, he knew, to think up an elaborate plan or to cause trouble. He had only one solution, and that was to involve himself in something he found repulsive and purchase Ianto. He waved a hand in the air, signalling the auctioneer’s attention.

“Ten thousand credits!” he announced, glaring around at the crowd and daring them to challenge him. To his horror, he recognised members of several brutal and cruel alien races. He received no opposition, however; the price to high for a mere slave, no matter how attractive or skilled. For Jack, however, the price was minimal; he would have paid whatever cost demanded of him to save Ianto from slavery, and potentially rape.

Jack ignored the staring audience who were by now starting to whisper between themselves. His rescue had perhaps been too fast, too impulsive. Maybe he should have involved himself in the auction slowly, and not cut in with a winning offer. He met the auctioneer’s gaze and nodded, sliding his credit card out of his pocket to prove he had the funding. The auctioneer nodded imperceptibly and banged his hammer on the table.

“Gone, to the gentleman on the front,” the auctioneer announced, taking Jack’s card from him as two assistants hurried forward to unfasten the chains that held Ianto to the floor. Jack watched, sickened, as they fastened manacles around Ianto’s wrists and feet, held together by heavy chains. Jack was handed a thick chain that connected to a steel collar around Ianto’s neck.

“Here is your deed of ownership,” the assistant informed him, passing Jack a sheet of paper. It took all Jack’s will not to tear the deed up instantly. He placed it in his pocket along with his returned card and a small silver key that would unlock Ianto’s chains.

Throughout this, Ianto had remained quiet, his head bowed submissively. Jack was relieved; as much as he wanted to pull Ianto into a tight embrace, he knew that Ianto would be in worse trouble if he showed any familiarity with Jack when surrounded by slavers. Turning his back on Ianto he gave the chain a quick tug. Ianto followed automatically, allowing himself to be led off the stage and through the streets of the market.

The meekness surprised and frightened Jack. Ianto had never been submissive; he held his own in his personal life, even if professionally he was willing to accept orders. In a situation like this, the Ianto Jack knew would have found small ways in which he could rebel, making Jack’s job minutely harder whilst maintaining a convincing act. However, there was no rebellion now from the young man. Ianto kept to Jack’s pace, following him obediently without even lifting his gaze. It made Jack wonder what Ianto had suffered to make him so completely broken, and what it would take to make Ianto the man Jack had known and loved. When they arrived at the TARDIS, Jack turned to face Ianto.

“Here we are,” he said with a grin. “Home.”

Ianto let his gaze flicker up, studying the TARDIS with confusion before finally sparing a glance at Jack. He caught the Captain’s eye, but almost immediately looked at the ground again. Confused and a little hurt, Jack opened the TARDIS door and ushered Ianto inside.

The expected exclamation about the size didn’t come, and this caused Jack another bite of concern. Pushing the door shut, he stepped up to Ianto and placed a hand on his arm. “Ianto?”

Ianto flinched - only barely, but enough for Jack to notice. He took a step back immediately, looking Ianto over.

“Let me get those chains off you,” he said after a beat, pulling the key out of his pocket and unlocking the collar around Ianto’s neck before making short work of the manacles around his wrists and ankles.

“That’s better, isn’t it?” he asked, depositing the chains by the door. He would later convince the Doctor to take them to a black hole and toss them into it.

“Thank You, Master.”

Ianto’s response was so quiet that Jack barely heard it. When the words finally registered, he whirled back to Ianto in horror.

“Ianto...” he said reaching out to tilt Ianto’s chin upwards. He smiled kindly, trying to fight back the myriad of emotions that rose to the surface on seeing Ianto’s gaze.

There was no recognition there, and no emotion but fear.


	3. Chapter 3

Jack continued to stare at Ianto for nearly a full minute before taking a hurried step backwards. If it hadn’t been for the look in Ianto’s eyes, he would have accused him of fooling around. He shook his head, scanning Ianto’s body for the slightest hint that he had made a mistake. He hadn’t; he knew Ianto’s body too well to be fooled into thinking that this was a doppelganger, and besides, beneath the recent scars lay older ones, scars that Jack recognised too well.

“Ianto,” he started again, pushing his emotions to the back of his mind and concentrating on the young man who stood before him. “Don’t you know who I am?”

Ianto glanced up, briefly. “You’re my Master. I am here to serve you.”

Jack swore, kicking the pile of chains and swearing again as pain shot through his foot. Ianto didn’t know him. Jack didn’t know exactly how, or if it could be fixed, but Ianto clearly recognised him only as a new master, a new person to fear, who would hurt him and order him about. The very thought made Jack nauseous.

Turning back to Ianto he tilted his chin up gently. “Ianto, listen to me. I know you’ve been mistreated, but that’s going to end now. You’ve got nothing to fear.” He paused, wondering how to phrase his next words. How did one tell a slave he was free and not expect him to bolt? “You’ll be safe here, and not as my slave but as my guest. Understand?”

“Yes, Master.”

The look of incomprehension in Ianto’s eyes told a different story. He wanted to demand that Ianto tell him everything so that he could seek out the people who had hurt him and punish them for reducing a strong, wonderful man to... to this. Taking a deep breath, Jack managed to suppress his anger. There would be a time for talk and explanations but now, with Ianto fearful of him, was not it. Once Ianto felt comfortable around him, Jack would ask his questions and provide some answers himself, but not yet.

“First,” he said, smiling reassuringly, “My name’s Jack – none of this ‘master’ business. Last person I knew who demanded that title wasn’t someone I liked.” He pulled away from Ianto, deciding to leave further explanation for later. “Now, how about we get you cleaned up and find you something to wear?” He gestured towards one of the corridors. “Come on,”

He hesitated only long enough to know that Ianto was following, then led the way along the corridors towards the bathroom. Jack glanced back at Ianto once to see the Welshman trailing him, staring in wonder at his surroundings, only to flinch and turn his attention back to the floor when he realised Jack was watching. Jack stopped and took a step towards him.

“Look at me,” he said gently, waiting until Ianto had met his gaze before continuing. “You don’t have to walk round like that, you know, no one’s going to punish you for looking – or for anything else for that matter. Besides, the TARDIS loves the attention.”

“The TARDIS?” Ianto questioned, fear flickering across his face as soon as the words left his mouth. He dropped his gaze. “I’m sorry for speaking out of turn, Master. Please...”

“Hey,” Jack cut him off, tilting Ianto’s chin upwards. “Look at me; I want to be able to see those beautiful eyes. Now, if you have anything to say, you say it - like I said, no one’s going to punish you.” He continued down the corridor, this time walking alongside Ianto. “The TARDIS, then.” He shot Ianto a grin. “The Doctor does this so much better, but I’ll do my best. You’re on the TARDIS, which is the Doctor’s ship. She travels anywhere in time and space. Pretty cool, huh?”

“Yes, Master.”

Despite the bland answer, Jack caught a glimpse of Ianto’s brief awestruck expression. He grinned, “If there’s anywhere you really want to go, you only need ask. I’m sure the Doctor wouldn’t refuse. And it’s ‘Jack’ – remember?” He had gone only a few more steps when he realised Ianto was no longer following. He glanced back, “Ianto?”

Ianto was visibly confused, but there was an edge of wariness to his expression. Jack understood; Ianto had suffered so much cruelty that every act of kindness seemed one of trickery. It would take time and perseverance to convince Ianto that Jack was trustworthy.

It was Ianto that broke the stalemate, hurrying forward to draw level with Jack. “Sorry, Mas... Jack.”

Jack allowed himself a small smile but otherwise gave no reaction. The silence hung between them until a few moments later, when they arrived at the bathroom. Jack pushed the door open, steering Ianto in the direction of a large ceramic tub. He dropped the plug in the hole and looked back to Ianto who was hovering nervously behind him.

“You can adjust the temperature to suit you,” he explained. “Shampoo, soap and anything else you might need are on the side. I’ll go and find you some clothes to wear and then I’ll be back.”

Had he been on any other ship, Jack mused as he pulled the bathroom door closed behind him, he wouldn’t have dreamt leaving Ianto alone in his current state of mind. The TARDIS, however, was not any old ship, and would surely warn him should Ianto attempt to take his own life. The knowledge did not prevent him from breaking into a jog as he made his way towards the TARDIS wardrobes.

The wardrobe was filled with every item of clothing Jack knew of, and quite a few he didn’t. Stepping inside, his eyes immediately went to a row of three piece suits that he knew Ianto would once have loved. Now Jack wasn’t so sure. Ianto had spent the last two years in slavery; fashion was hardly going to be a priority.

Two Years.

The thought, previously ignored, finally thrust itself to the forefront of Jack’s mind. Ianto had suffered two years in slavery. Two years of pain and fear, of abuse – maybe even rape. To know what Ianto had been through was painful enough, but to be denied the chance to comfort him – especially when all Jack wanted to do was to take Ianto in his arms and never let him go, to hold him close and reassure himself that Ianto was alive and safe.

He had thought the Rift cruel for taking Ianto; he thought it crueller still that fate had thrust Ianto back into his life with no recollection of him or what they had shared. Jack leant against the wall, scrubbing a hand over his face to brush away the threatening tears.

The suits wouldn’t do, he decided. Ianto needed something comfortable and practical. Grabbing a pair of jeans and a red t-shirt, Jack was about to move on when a black hooded jumper caught his eye. He took this too, adding underwear and a pair of trainers to the pile before rushing out of the wardrobe in the direction of the bathroom.

When Jack entered the bathroom Ianto was reclining in the bath. He started as the door clicked shut, water sloshing over the sides as he sat up. Jack waved him down, placing the clothes on the side before glancing at Ianto. He looked away, both to reassure Ianto and to quell the spike of lust that had shot through him of the visible reminder of the many baths he had shared with Ianto.

“Take your time getting ready. I’ll be in the kitchen when you’ve done.” He reeled off a list of directions before catching Ianto’s eyes in the mirror. The young man looked overwhelmed at the information, although Jack suspected he would have little problem remembering it.

“If you get lost, I’m sure the TARDIS will help you out,” he added, sparing Ianto the briefest of glances before heading out of the room.

* * *

The Doctor was seated at the table, when Jack entered. He glanced up from the book he hadn’t been reading when Jack slumped into the chair opposite. The Doctor’s expression was neutral, but Jack could feel the disapproval radiating from the Timelord.

“It’s not what it looks like,” Jack said, unable to keep the defensiveness from his voice.

The Doctor raised an eyebrow. “What is it, then, Jack? I never took you for a man to support slavery, especially after what you said in the market.”

“I don’t,” Jack snapped, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “It was Ianto.”

The Doctor’s eyebrow shot higher. “Well, that certainly changes things.”

“I did the only thing I could that wouldn’t cause a scene,” Jack explained. “I didn’t even think of how it would look, I just had to get him out of there before someone else bought him. I just wanted him to feel safe.” Jack’s voice cracked on the last word and he looked down at the table. “He doesn’t know me, Doctor. Now he sees me as just another master – and he wouldn’t believe me if I told him the truth. And why should he? He’s had no one for two years, and now I don’t know how to convince him that he’s safe.”

The Doctor frowned, letting out his breath in a long sigh. “You can only treat him with all the kindness and love he needs. Your presence may be the only thing he needs to recover those memories. If he doesn’t regain them, you’ll have to tell him and hope that whatever made him love you is still there.” Reaching out, the Doctor covered Jack’s hand in his own. “You’re a good man, Jack Harkness – he’ll see that in time."

“I hope so,” Jack said, looking up to catch the Doctor’s eye, “‘Cause its killing me to see him like this.”

The Doctor smiled, squeezing Jack’s hand gently. “You wait and see, a few weeks of love and a bit of the Harkness charm and he’ll be back to his old self. Now, cheer up, he’s coming this way.”

Patting Jack’s hand, the Doctor leant back in his chair and picked up his book. Jack twisted in his seat as Ianto entered the room. The clothes Jack had left hung loose on Ianto’s starved frame and Jack suddenly wished he’d had the foresight to search for better fitting ones. He’d chosen based on what he remembered and not on what he saw. He saw his mistake now as he watched Ianto tug at his jeans to stop them sliding down.

“Come in, Ianto. Sit down.” He gestured to the chair beside him, waiting until Ianto was seated before continuing. “This is the Doctor,”

The Doctor glanced up and beamed over at Ianto before returning to his book. Jack knew he wasn’t really reading but observing the scene before him and allowing Jack to deal with things as they arose. Jack was grateful for that; the Doctor seemed to gain trust and respect easily, and Jack knew he would have to work hard to restore even half the trust Ianto had once had in him.

Glancing across at Ianto once more, Jack rose to his feet. “I’m going to make some food – pizza and chips alright with you, Ianto?”

Ianto looked stunned to have been asked. He climbed to his feet, shaking his head.  
“I should do that – it’s what I’m here for,” he insisted, his confusion only increasing when Jack eased him back into his seat.

“That is not what you’re here for, Ianto,” he said firmly. “We all do our share around here, and I think I can handle something this simple.”

His eyes landed on the coffee machine, tucked away in the corner and covered by a tea towel so Jack hadn’t had to look at it. He swallowed, mulling the idea over. He was loath to ask Ianto to do anything so soon but, on the other hand, it was a slice of normality in the midst of so much change, and it would certainly do Ianto some good to know he was appreciated.

“If you really wanted to do something, though, I’d love a coffee; make yourself one too if you like.”

“I can do that,” Ianto said, turning to the Doctor. “And you, Sir?”

The Doctor glanced up and smiled. “Just Doctor, and nothing for me thanks, Ianto.”

He looked over at Jack as Ianto turned away to start up the coffee machine, raising an eyebrow questioningly. Jack shrugged and turned away, already wondering if he had done the right thing, or if he’d pushed Ianto further towards believing that nothing had changed.

Jack could not help but cast surreptitious glances in Ianto’s direction as he prepared dinner. Ianto made coffee making an art, and even in his current state of mind he seemed to do it with the same precision he always had. Jack smiled as he tore his gaze away; he had never doubted Ianto’s ability to make coffee, and hoped that the subsequent admiration would do something to ease Ianto’s nerves.

Placing the food in the oven, Jack sank back into his chair. He had been seated only momentarily when Ianto appeared beside him, placing a cup on the table before him before sinking down into his own chair and sipping at his own coffee.

Jack shot him a brilliant grin, picking up the coffee and inhaling its scent. He took an experimental sip and sighed, a smile flitting over his face. He glanced towards Ianto. “Wow,” he said, “That’s got to be the most perfect coffee I’ve ever tasted.”

Ianto’s coffee had always been perfect, but this cup was even more so: it was the first in a long time and, more than that, Ianto had prepared it exactly how he liked it. Whether he had done so out of memory or some sixth sense, Jack didn’t know, and while he couldn’t deny that Ianto had an uncanny ability at predicting people’s taste in coffee, Jack hoped it was the former. Catching sight of the tiny smile that had flitted across Ianto’s face at the compliment Jack decided his risk had been well worth it.


	4. Chapter 4

“Now, the Alfienans have very strict policy on monogamy,” the Doctor said, leaning towards Ianto. “They consider it highly offensive to even flirt with anyone who has undertaken the commitment ceremony. I’d made sure Jack and Rose knew this, I even pointed out the earrings they wear to show their commitment to one another. But did he listen?” He gestured to Jack. “No. He only went and flirted with the Queen! The King was furious; he had the entire royal guard after us, all calling for Jack’s head!” The Doctor sighed, shaking his head at Jack. “I suppose I should have known better than to take you there.”

Ianto smiled faintly, glancing across at Jack hesitantly. Jack caught his eye and grinned. “She was a beautiful woman; all I did was tell her so!”

In another time, Ianto would have laughed and told Jack he was incorrigible. Now the smile was his only reaction. Jack had spent dinner relating some of the more entertaining adventures he'd had. The Doctor had joined in, telling stories of Jack’s travels with him in an attempt to trigger something in Ianto’s mind. It had soon become clear, however, that whatever had happened to Ianto wasn’t going to be cured by the simple act of jogging his memory.

Jack glanced to Ianto, laying a hand on his arm. Feeling Ianto stiffen beneath him, he pulled away, masking his pain with a smile. “Don’t listen to him,” Jack said. “He’s trying to sully my reputation. Now, how about I show you round, would you like that?”

Ianto nodded, climbing to his feet. “I’d like that.”

Jack smiled as he stood. “I want to speak to you later,” he said to the Doctor before turning back to Ianto. “Come on, then,” he said, faking a smile and gesturing towards the door. “We’ve got a lot to see!”

***

“And this,” Jack said, coming to a halt outside a door and resting his hand on it. “I reckon this must be your room.”

He pushed the door open to reveal a simple room containing a double bed, a wardrobe and a pair of bedside cabinets each containing a lamp; in a far corner stood a small desk and set of shelves.

“It’s a bit bare at the moment,” Jack said apologetically, following Ianto into the room, “But you can get a few books, ornaments – make it your own.” He tailed off, noticing the expression on Ianto’s face. “Ianto? Are you alright?”

Ianto turned to face him, and Jack was shocked to see tears in Ianto’s eyes. He flicked his gaze to the bed then back to Ianto, comprehension slowly dawning.

“How would you have me, Master?” Ianto asked, voice cracking as he bit his lip, visibly trying to hold the tears back.

Jack flinched, the words cutting straight to his heart. “Ianto... I...” he began, shaking his head. His worst fears were all but confirmed: Ianto had suffered rape. It was little wonder, then, that he flinched away from the slightest touch. Crossing the room, Jack sank onto the bed and dropped his head into his hands.

“Ianto, I would never force myself on you,” he said, looking back up at Ianto. “I promise you, never. If you wanted it, I wouldn’t refuse – but not like this. Never like this.” Jack tore his gaze from Ianto, ignoring the need to get up and wipe away the tears that had spilled from his eyes. “This is your room,” Jack reiterated. “I want you to feel safe here.”

Ianto’s eyes still swam with mistrust and incomprehension. “This is really all for me?” he asked, voice little more than a whisper. “I mean, the bed... everything?”

“Of course it is,” Jack said instantly, looking up again. “Where did you think you’d be sleeping?”

When no answer was offered, Jack rephrased the question.

“Where did... where did you sleep before?” he asked, staring ahead of him, looking anywhere but at Ianto. No sooner had the question been asked did he realise that the answer was not something he wished to know or even contemplate.

“At the foot of my master’s bed, if I were lucky,” Ianto said quietly. “If he had no use for me, I would sleep in the kitchen with the other slaves. If...” He paused, hanging his head, voice cracking as he continued. “If I had not satisfied him or had to be punished, I would sleep in the cells.”

Jack hissed, turning his gaze on Ianto as he stood. “Well, this is your room. No one’s going to change that.” He crossed the room, coming to a halt before Ianto. “I need to speak to the Doctor now; you can get yourself some more clothes from the wardrobe and anything else you might want. I’ll see you in the morning.” He reached out to cup Ianto’s face, stopping himself at the last moment. “My room’s next door – if you need anything, and I mean anything – just knock.”

He lingered for a moment, hand falling back to his side. Then, with a shake of his head he turned away. Stepping into the corridor, he leant back against the door and let out a sigh.

“How is he?”

Jack glanced down the corridor. The Doctor stood at the end of the corridor, leaning against the wall. Jack went to join him, waiting until they were safely out of Ianto’s earshot before speaking

“He’s... I don’t know. Back there, he thought I was going to force him. He thought that’s what I wanted him for. I don’t know how to explain that he’s here as a friend and that I don’t expect anything of him.”

Jack ran a hand through his hair in frustration. The Doctor asked mildly, “Have you tried telling him?”

“No,” Jack replied. “If I tell him and he believes me, he might want to leave. I can’t lose him again, Doctor.”

He shook his head, knowing that there was only the slimmest chance Ianto would believe that he was a free man and could do as he wished without risk of punishment, and if Ianto did believe it and chose to leave, Jack knew there would be nothing he could do to stop him.

“Should I tell him?” he asked as they stepped into the console room. “Do you think it would make things easier?”

He leant against the railings, watching the Doctor circle the main console flicking switches and peering at monitors. The Doctor paused, watching a flickering monitor as he answered. “I don’t think he would believe you. He’s wary, and with good reason – he’s going to have to accept that you aren’t trying to trick him before he believes anything like that.” He paused, drumming his fingers on the table and humming. “I’m most concerned about his memories.”

Jack straightened up. “Is there anything you can do?”

His voice held a tinge of hope, one that shattered as he caught site of the look on the Doctor’s face. The Doctor shook his head. “I’m sorry, Jack. You know I can’t do anything.”

Jack knew. He had asked the Doctor once before, in an attempt to find his own lost years, and had received the same answer. He looked back to the Doctor, but before he could speak the TimeLord continued.

“It all depends on how the memories were lost – if that’s even what happened.”

“What do you mean?” Jack demanded. “Of course its memory loss - he doesn’t have a clue who I am!”

The Doctor looked across at him. “Jack,” he said, compassion filling his gaze. “He’s been through a lot, and you don’t know what he’s thinking. He might think this a trick; he might even be unsure how to react to you after so long in slavery.” He paused, taking pity on Jack. “But if it is memory loss, it could have been caused by any number of things - some of them more permanent than others.”

Jack frowned, leaning back against the railing. “How do we get them back?”

He didn’t want to imagine the possibility of Ianto remembering and still being afraid of him. Believing Ianto didn’t recognise him made it easier to resist pulling Ianto into his arms, made it easier to accept Ianto’s fear.

“That depends on how they were lost,” the Doctor mused. “It could have been a bang on the head from his trip through the Rift; they could have been removed, or repressed. If it’s the latter then it might just need a trigger – a very powerful one, mind you, to bring them back. If they’ve been removed – like yours have – then I’m sorry, Jack, but they aren’t coming back. There’s also a chance that he might repressed them himself.” He waved a hand to silence a protest from Jack. “No, listen to me. From what you’ve told me, Ianto must have known there was no chance of rescue. Imagine how much those memories of you would hurt when he knew he would never see you again. He could have pushed them to the back of his mind, forgotten them in order to survive.”

Jack nodded, closing his eyes and letting out a sigh. When he had been on the Valiant, he had spent hours thinking about Ianto. Equally, however, there had been days when he wished he had worried about Ianto’s well being before leaving, days when he had been so certain that he would never see Ianto again that he had wished they had never met.

“And now he needs help to retrieve them,” Jack finished. “I know they’re in there, and I’m going to help him remember – there’s no other option.” He smiled a smile reminiscent of the brilliant grins the Doctor was used to, but there was no light in his eye as he joked, “No one forgets me that easily!”

The Doctor crossed the room, placing a hand on Jack’s arm and squeezing. “I hope it’s going to be that easy, Jack. I’d like a word with him tomorrow – he’s bound to have some physical scars that need treating, and while I’m at it I’ll see how much he’s forgotten. He might open up to me better, he doesn’t see me as his... his master.”

Jack caught his eye and sighed. His shoulders slumped in defeat as he raked hands through his hair. “I need him back. He means so much to me and it’s killing me to have him so close and be unable to so much as touch him...” He tailed off, looking away. “I should go and check on him,” he said, pulling away from the Doctor. “Thank you; I couldn’t do this without you.”

“Jack, you need to give him some time to adjust,” the Doctor warned, but his words fell on deaf ears. Jack had already disappeared down the corridor to Ianto’s room. Sighing, the Timelord turned back to his console. He couldn’t help but worry about Jack; the Captain didn’t seem to be coming to terms with Ianto’s condition well, and while the Doctor couldn’t blame him he also knew that Ianto’s recovery was going to be a lengthy process. The Doctor wasn’t sure how long Jack could keep up the brave face before he cracked.

He remembered Ianto from the video link into Torchwood when they had moved the Earth back into position. He remembered a suited, handsome man who certainly seemed like he could hold his own. When combined with the stories Jack had told, the Doctor found it difficult to recognise Ianto in the broken man Jack had rescued. It was hard not to reach out to Ianto, but the Doctor knew it was important that Jack gained his trust first. The Doctor didn’t want to get in the way of their healing, but he was determined to help in any little way he could.

***

Jack took the Doctor’s parting words to heart and didn’t go to see Ianto immediately. He made it as far as Ianto’s door before backing out, retreating into his own room to clear his head. Ianto had always had liked some space when there was something on his mind; it had only been after Jack’s return that Ianto had felt really comfortable confiding in Jack. It was only fair, Jack thought, to give Ianto some time to come to terms with his new situation. He couldn’t imagine what Ianto was feeling but suspected that the young man was suffering.

However, even then, the knowledge that Ianto was in the next room drove Jack to distraction and, after realising that the Doctor wouldn’t be happy if his pacing wore a hole in the floor, he headed off to the bathroom. Flicking the shower on, Jack stripped, tossing his clothes into the laundry basket. As he turned to step into the shower, a grimy rag caught his eye. It was the tattered cloth Ianto had worn around his waist. Snatching it up, Jack noticed for the first time the dirt that covered it along with stains of what looked like blood. Grimacing, Jack scrunched the cloth up and tossed it into the bin, angered once again by what Ianto had been forced to endure.

Climbing into the shower, Jack turned the heat up, letting the water cascade over his body. The scorching water was strangely soothing and he tilted his head back, closing his eyes to let the water wash over his face. He lingered there for a moment before reaching for the shampoo. He massaged it into his hair, letting the water rinse it through. The soap slid down the back of Jack’s neck and across his face, stinging his eyes. Hissing in pain, he leant heavily against the wall, resting his forehead against the cool tiles as he blinked to clear his vision. A few tears rolled down his cheeks and once they had started Jack couldn’t hold them back. A sob slipped from his lips and he slumped against the wall as all the pain of the last day flooded through him.

When Ianto had been taken by the rift it had felt like a knife to the heart. To get him back like this felt as if some sadistic bastard had take hold of the knife hilt and twisted it violently. He had known, since Ianto had been taken, that he could come back damaged but he had never accepted it. He had let himself believe Ianto was lost, never imagining what he’d do if Ianto had been returned to him. The reality was a bittersweet agony that was fast becoming uncontrollable.

Minutes passed before Jack managed to rein in his emotions. Wiping the tears away he straightened up, breathing deeply to calm himself. He knew he had to see Ianto, to reassure himself that the young man was safe and really there. There would be no harm in popping into Ianto’s room to check on him, Jack decided as he rinsed the rest of the soap from his hair and climbed out of the shower. Towelling himself dry, he wrapped a robe around himself and stepped out of the bathroom, wasting no time in hurrying down the corridor to Ianto’s bedroom.

He hesitated when he reached the door before knocking lightly. There was no answer, not even the sound of movement on the other side. Fighting back a spike of concern, Jack pushed the door open and stepped inside. He smiled in relief as he saw Ianto; he way lying on the bed, covers bunched around his waist and a book resting on his chest. He face was bathed in the dim light of the bedside lamp, his expression peaceful as he slept. Jack smiled, watching him for a moment before crossing the room to crouch beside the bed. Carefully, he pried the book from Ianto’s fingers, marking the page before placing it on the bedside table. Turning back, he pulled the covers over Ianto, tucking them under his chin before hesitantly reaching out to push Ianto’s hair from his face, tucking it behind one ear. Ianto stirred briefly at the last touch, but mercifully remained asleep.

Rising, Jack glanced down at Ianto wanting nothing more than to return to the time when he could have climbed into bed beside Ianto and held him close. Jack couldn’t remember a time when he had been this close to Ianto and not slept in the same bed. Pushing the thought aside, Jack flicked off the lamp and turned to leave.

***

Ianto listened to Jack’s retreating footsteps, waiting until the door had clicked shut before opening his eyes and propping himself up on his elbows to stare after him. He hadn’t even realised he had fallen asleep until he had felt Jack’s hand brush against his cheek. Sinking back into the pillows he wrapped his arms around himself as he wondered why Jack had been there. The man had already denied wanting to fuck him, and Ianto hoped desperately that he hadn’t changed his mind.

The day had been one of much confusion. There had been the TARDIS, the vast ship in the guise of a small blue box, and the Doctor, who was just as strange but hadn’t yet said a bad word to Ianto. The Doctor had told stories that had made Ianto doubt he was human, however much he looked like one, but despite his interest Ianto hadn’t dared to ask. Speaking without permission had always been a sure way to receive a punishment and Ianto couldn’t bring himself to do so even when Jack had told him otherwise.

Jack was another puzzle. The man had bought him at auction and yet, despite being his master, did not demand that title, or anything else, from him. He had been kind, given Ianto clothing and a bed to sleep in – things he had been denied by his last master. He had treated Ianto as something more than a slave, and yet Jack was his owner, he had bought Ianto. What for if not to be his slave?

Ianto huddled further under the covers, tears gathering in his eyes. The kindness wouldn’t last. Soon, Jack would turn on him. This was just a trick, a plot to gain Ianto’s trust. The kindness wouldn’t last. It never did. No one saw a slave as an equal for long and Jack wouldn’t be an exception. Within a week Jack would reveal himself to be the same as his last master and the orders, the punishment and the rape would begin again. His kindness would soon be a long distant memory.

Glancing back at the door, Ianto brushed away his tears. Was it really too much to hope this one would be different?


	5. Chapter 5

Ianto woke with a start, jerking upright in the bed. It was the comfort that had woken him, the warmth that had banished the last remnants of sleep. The unfamiliar sensations had disorientated him, and the feeling didn’t fade as he looked around the strange room. Slowly, the memories of the previous day returned: Jack, the TARDIS, and the Doctor. Ianto relaxed a fraction, finally registering the sounds from the next room. Jack’s room, he remembered.

He sat there for a moment, listening to Jack crashing about his room and the peaceful humming of the TARDIS and wondering what Jack expected him to do. After some deliberation, he climbed from the bed and padded over to the door to wrap a dressing gown around himself. He hurried to the kitchen, hoping he was doing the right thing, only to freeze when he pushed open the door.

The Doctor was standing in front of the oven, a cup of tea in his hand as he prodded at something in a pan. When Ianto entered the room he turned, smiling brightly as he took a sip of tea. “Good morning, Ianto! Did you sleep well?”

“Yes, thank you, sir,” Ianto managed after a moment, relieved that he didn’t seem to be in trouble yet still wary of the unusual kindness. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

“I’ve told you,” the Doctor turned to look at Ianto, pointing the spatula in his direction. “It’s not sir, just Doctor.” His expression changed, a grin splitting his face. “You want some Quezalon eggs?”

Ianto glanced over at the pan, in which lay two large pink and green fried eggs. “No thank you.”

The Doctor chuckled, turning back to his eggs. “They’re actually really nice; don’t let the colour put you off.” He glanced over his shoulder. “Help yourself to whatever you want. Have you seen Jack this morning?”

“I was going to take him a coffee,” Ianto admitted. “Is there anything else he’ll want?”

The Doctor tutted and pointed the spatula in Ianto’s direction again. “Don’t you go running after him, he’s a big boy. He can look after himself.” He paused, looking thoughtful. “Although, he can’t make coffee – unless coffee is meant to have the same consistency as tar. It tastes like it too.”

He pulled a face, scrunching up his eyes and sticking out his tongue. Ianto smiled, starting up the coffee machine and pulling two mugs from the cupboard. There was something comforting about making coffee, something familiar. The aroma was a reminder of Ianto’s youth, of peaceful days when a life of slavery had been far from even his furthest expectations. Before last night, he had given up the hope of ever drinking coffee again; in allowing him that privilege, Jack had given him a taste of home, a reminder of a better time that Ianto couldn’t help but be grateful for.

He only hoped Jack didn’t notice how much he appreciated the coffee. If he did, it would be one of the first things to go once Jack asserted his position over Ianto. It was not a question of if, but when – and Ianto hoped it was sooner rather than later, before he experienced too many of the things he had longed for only to have them denied once more.

He started when a hand was placed on his arm, glancing around to find himself face to face with the Doctor.

“Your coffee’s ready.” He gestured to the coffee maker with a smile. “You don’t want it to go cold, do you?”

“I’m sorry,” Ianto said, turning back to fill two cups with coffee and fumbling for a spoon. It clattered to the floor, and his hands shook as he knelt to collect it. The Doctor was quicker, scooping up the spoon and holding it out to Ianto.

“Calm down,” he soothed as Ianto took the spoon. “You’ve nothing to worry about.”

He gave Ianto’s shoulder a small pat before hurrying back to the oven. Ianto took a deep breath before turning back to the coffees, adding sugar and cream and placing them on a small tray. Lifting it, he left the kitchen, padding barefoot in the direction of Jack’s room.

***

Jack pulled open the door on the second knock, having paused only long enough to pull on a pair of boxers. Ianto stood on the other side, wrapped only in a dressing robe and holding a tray of coffees before him.

“Ianto. Good morning,” Jack said after a moment, then gesturing to the coffee added, “You didn’t have to bring me coffee, you know. It’s not that I don’t appreciate it, of course ...” He fell silent, aware that he was babbling.

“Thank you,” he said, taking his coffee and sipping at it. With his free hand he gestured to the other cup. “Fancy joining me?”

He stepped aside, letting Ianto into the room before shutting the door behind him. It was only when Ianto hesitated in the middle of the room that Jack realised he hadn’t really given him a choice in the matter. Ianto was used to following orders, the fear of punishment so deeply ingrained that he would have done anything Jack asked.

Being careful not to spook Ianto, he sank down on the bed and patted the space beside him. Obediently, Ianto hurried over; he placed his coffee down and sat beside Jack, immediately going to untie the robe.

“Ianto, wait,” Jack protested, hand catching Ianto’s before he could finish untying the cord. “I just want to sit and talk.”

He smiled, pulling his hand back and mentally berating himself for not realising Ianto would associate his ‘master’s’ bed with rape.

Leaning back on the bed, Jack fumbled for something to say. Only months ago, he had found it easy to talk to Ianto and they had spent many nights lying in bed just talking until Ianto had fallen asleep in Jack’s arms. Now, such easy conversation was impossible. The questions he wanted to ask - what happened to you? why don’t you remember me? – were also off limits. Jack wasn’t sure he was willing to hear the answer to the first, and was positive Ianto wasn’t ready to hear the explanation behind the second. Questions about Ianto’s missing memories were also better coming from the Doctor after a proper examination. To ask now, with no concrete evidence, would seem suspicious.

Taking another sip of coffee, Jack glanced to Ianto. “This really is fantastic coffee, you know.”

“Thank you,” Ianto responded. He perched on the edge of the bed, body tense and still as he held his coffee in a tight grip. Jack frowned, shifting over on the bed to sit beside Ianto, watching as he flinched, tensing up more than Jack had thought possible.

“Relax,” he soothed, making no move to touch Ianto. “I’m not going to hurt you.” He took a deep breath. “I know you’re scared, Ianto. I know you’re confused – hell, I would be too – but I promise you that I’m not trying to trick you by treating you like this. You’re not my slave, and things are going to stay that way. I swear I’m not going to hurt you or take advantage of you.”

When there was no response from Ianto, Jack stood, placing his empty coffee mug on the bedside table.

“You should probably get dressed,” he said, walking to his own wardrobe and pulling it open. “The Doctor wants to have a word with you in the medical room; let me know when you’re ready and I’ll take you there.”

He began to rummage through his wardrobe, purposefully not watching as Ianto gathered the mugs and left. Only when the door clicked shut behind him did Jack slump against the open wardrobe door, reaching into the pocket of his greatcoat to pull out the photograph of him and Ianto.

Tracing a thumb down Ianto’s cheek, Jack sighed. Aloud, he asked, “What’s it going to take to get you to trust me?”

Ianto grinned back from the photograph, not replying. Jack had hardly expected him to.

***

Less than half an hour later, Ianto was perched on the edge of the bed in the TARDIS medical room, waiting for Jack to return with the Doctor. Jack hadn’t elaborated on what the Doctor wanted him for; he had just brought him here and asked him to wait until the returned.

So Ianto had waited, looking around the room at the many strange and fascinating alien tools that lay scattered around, and trying not to imagine their uses. As it turned out, he didn’t have long to wait before the door swung open and the Doctor entered, alone.

“I told Jack to give you a little privacy for this,” the Doctor said, “But really it’s nothing to worry about – I just want to give you a quick once over and then you can be on your way.” He pulled his glasses from his jacket pocket and put them on. “Take your shirt off for me, will you.”

He caught sight of Ianto’s flinch and winced, remembering Jack’s words of the night before. When Ianto had folded the shirt beside him, the Doctor stepped forward and placed a hand on his bare shoulder.

“I’m only going to take a look,” he soothed, grimacing when he caught sight of the mess of scarring on Ianto’s back. His chest had similar scars, but they were nothing compared to the mess that had been made of his back. From what he could tell, the scarring continued below the waistband of his jeans. The Doctor felt a wave of anger towards whoever had done this followed by another of sympathy for Ianto.

“I’m going to have to ask you to remove your pants too, Ianto,” he said, turning away to give Ianto a modicum of privacy. “Just lie face down on the bed when you’re done.”

He crossed the room to rummage in one of the cupboards, retrieving a small pot of cream. It wouldn’t heal the scarring completely, but it would help them fade. When he turned back, Ianto had lain down on the bed and was watching the Doctor with no small amount of wariness. As he neared Ianto, the Doctor realised he had been right; the scars extended across Ianto’s buttocks and thighs. Perching on the edge of the bed, the Doctor placed a soothing hand on Ianto’s shoulder, showing his the cream.

“It’ll help with the scarring,” he explained, “But I’m afraid I can’t get rid of them completely. I’ll do your back now, and you can do the rest later.” He unscrewed the lid, beginning to apply the cream to Ianto’s back. “So, where are you from, Ianto?”

He knew the answer perfectly well, but it seemed the best lead into finding out what he could about Ianto’s missing memories

“Cardiff. It’s in Wales,” Ianto replied, sucking in a sharp breath as the Doctor’s hands passed over a particularly painful spot. After a moment, he added, “On earth.”

“Nice place, Cardiff,” the Doctor said. “Been there once or twice myself. In fact, I’m guessing you’re late twentieth, early twenty-first century, so you’ll remember that earthquake. That was me.”

He glanced to Ianto, only to see the look of complete incomprehension on the young man’s face. “Oh come on! You must remember! It wasn’t exactly small.”

The Doctor frowned, Jack had said he had known Ianto two years, and by the Doctor’s calculations that meant he hadn’t joined Torchwood until after that earthquake. He had been certain Ianto would remember it.

“How long have you been a slave, Ianto?” the Doctor asked, pausing in his treatment of Ianto’s back. “I’d guess that it’s a little longer than two years.”

“Six years,” Ianto replied. “The traders were not entirely truthful. There was another master before my last, so I was told.”

“You were told?” The Doctor asked, feeling Ianto stiffen beneath his hands as they moved further down his back. “It’s alright,” he soothed. “Just don’t think about it.” When he felt Ianto relax a fraction he continued. “Do you not remember?”

“No,” Ianto replied. “The traders told me he had made me forget the four years he owned me so I could not reveal his secrets. It feels as if there should be something there, but I don’t know what. I’m sorry.”

The Doctor frowned, suspecting the truth to be somewhat different. He cursed the incompetence of the traders, taking four years instead of the two they had clearly intended in order to rid Ianto of memories of Jack and Torchwood. That would leave Ianto with two years that even Jack would be unable to help with. The description Ianto had given of those missing years brought him some relief. It sounded as if they had used a reversible method. With help and a lot of willpower, Ianto could regain his memories. He could have done it before this, had he really wanted to remember – but if he believed that those four years had been anything like the two that had followed the Doctor could understand his not wanting to remember.

Rubbing the cream onto the last of the scars, the Doctor screwed the lid on and stood. “I’ll let you do the rest yourself. You’re going to need to keep applying it for ten days. It won’t have any effect after that. Get Jack to help with your back.” He caught a glimpse of Ianto’s expression at that and sighed. “I know he can be a little... forward at times but he would never do anything without your permission. He has a good heart, one of the best. Just give him a chance to show it.” He gave Ianto’s shoulder a quick squeeze as he handed over the cream. “Now, get yourself dressed and we’ll see about getting you some food. You’re all skin and bones and we can’t have that.”

With a last cheerful grin, the Doctor left Ianto to get dressed while he went in search of Jack. He found him in the kitchen, leaning against the cabinets and trying for all he was worth to look casual. The moment he saw the Doctor all pretence dropped away and he rushed to the Doctor’s side. “What did he say?”

“The memory loss is probably reversible,” the Doctor began, allowing himself a small smile at the intense relief that flickered over Jack’s face. It was with some effort that he forced himself to relate the rest of the news.

“His memories have been repressed by the slave traders - presumably the ones who found him. My guess is that they took the very memories that would have kept him fighting – those of you and Torchwood,” he explained. “But there’s a further problem. The traders made a mistake: they took too much. You said he had only worked for you for two years, but Ianto’s missing four.”

Jack looked at his feet, unable to meet the Doctor’s troubled gaze. He hadn’t been entirely truthful when he had told the Doctor of Ianto’s history. The Doctor caught his expression and frowned, folding his arms across his chest as he fixed Jack with his sternest expression.

“Is there something you’ve not told me, Jack?”

Jack sighed, leaning back against the kitchen table. “Ianto worked at Torchwood One. He was at the Battle of Canary Wharf.” The Doctor frowned, looking like he was about to say something until Jack interrupted. “And before you say anything, he had nothing to do with it. He was a junior researcher – nothing to do with Yvonne and her minions.”

“That might be so, but you should have told me,” the Doctor said, frowning at the memory of Torchwood One. He was stunned to learn that Ianto had been one of them, and yet the more he thought about it the less he blamed Ianto, the less he counted Ianto amongst the ignorant idiots who had messed with what they knew nothing about.

“Why?” Jack said, allowing a little of his anger to creep into his voice as he folded his arms against his chest. “Would it have changed your mind on whether or not to help him?”

“No,” the Doctor said instantly. “Jack, I might not have trusted Torchwood One, but I trust you. If you trust him, then I don’t see any reason for me not to.” He placed a comforting hand on Jack’s arm. “Ianto’s history isn’t important to me – from what you’ve told me I can tell he’s a good man and that is what matters.”

Jack nodded, feeling a little guilty for doubting the Doctor.

“Where is Ianto, anyway?” he asked, in a deliberate change of topic. No sooner had he spoken did he realise that Ianto had been absent a while.

“I left him to get dressed,” the Doctor said. “He should have been here by now.”

Jack cursed, running out of the kitchen and in the direction of the medical room immediately. Rounding a corner he stopped dead at the sight before him: Ianto lay sprawled on the floor, his eyes closed.


	6. Chapter 6

Jack stared in horror at Ianto, dropping down by his side and pulling him into his lap as he searched frantically for a pulse. He breathed a sigh of relief when he found one, letting his eyes scan Ianto’s body for any sign of bleeding.

“Come on Ianto, don’t do this to me now,” he muttered, cradling Ianto’s body in his arms as he struggled to his feet. “Doctor! I need you. Medical room - now!” he roared, hoping that, if the Timelord didn’t hear him, the TARDIS would transmit his need to him. Without waiting for an answer, he headed towards the medical room.

He found the door open when he got there and hurried in, laying Ianto on the bed and easing his trainers off before taking a step back, his eyes flickering over his body for signs of injury. There was no obvious bleeding or broken bones, nothing that Jack could see to fix.

He was about to call for the Doctor again when he entered, hurrying over to the bed and pushing Jack aside as he bent over Ianto, pulling on his glasses as he checked Ianto’s breathing and pulse. A moment later he bounded over to a computer screen, pressing a couple of buttons. Jack glanced from him to Ianto and then back again.

“Well? What’s wrong with him?” he demanded, standing behind the Doctor to study the screen.

“He’s dehydrated and desperately undernourished - quite probably exhausted too. I’m surprised something like this didn’t happen before,” the Doctor said, pushing Jack aside and hurrying over to the counter. Jack stared back at Ianto, remembering the prominence of his ribs and collar bone and wondered when - with the exception of the previous night – Ianto had last eaten. Even then, Ianto hadn’t seemed to eat much – Jack just hadn’t noticed because Ianto had never had the biggest appetite.

“I should have made sure he ate more last night. Damn, I should have made him eat something this morning,” Jack complained, sinking down into a chair and dropping his head into his hands. “Why didn’t I see?”

“It’s not your fault,” the Doctor said, hurrying past to attach a saline drip to the back of Ianto’s hand. “You didn’t notice because he didn’t want you to. Imagine how much harsher his last master would have been if he’d known Ianto was ill.”

Jack ran a hand over his face, despairing at the notion that Ianto thought him the same as his previous master. “He is going to be alright, though?”

“He’ll be fine,” the Doctor said, taking a step back and arranging the covers around Ianto. “There are a few extras in the drip, they should help him. He’ll need something to eat when he wakes up.” He placed a hand on Jack’s shoulder, giving it a tiny squeeze as he left the room, turning in the doorway to point a finger at Jack. “And I mean something healthy!”

Jack managed a smile, tugging his chair over to sit beside Ianto. Reaching out, he wrapped Ianto’s hand in his, wishing that he could share some of his life energy with Ianto without frightening him. With a sigh he dragged his fingers through Ianto’s hair, frowning at how un-Ianto-like the shoulder length style was. It was just one of many things that had changed about Ianto, who would have complained about the length if he had been anything close to his normal self.

But Ianto was about as far from his normal self as Jack could imagine. He had seen nothing to convince him that his Ianto was still buried under the walls Ianto had built around himself and the behaviour that slavery demanded. Jack wasn’t entirely sure whether he was still there, or if Ianto had been lost along with his memories.

Tucking Ianto’s hand beneath the covers, Jack hesitantly placed a kiss on Ianto’s forehead before leaning back in his chair to wait for him to come round.

***

Someone was humming; it was a tune that Ianto didn’t recognise. The voice was familiar, but Ianto couldn’t place it. His head was a blur, and his hand itched. He reached out to scratch it, but another hand caught his. He tried to tug his hand free and to his surprise the other relented.

“Ianto, open your eyes, you’re alright.”

Ianto jerked awake to find himself staring up into concerned blue eyes. Jack, he realised with a frown; but why would Jack be concerned about him – and why was his hand itching? He went to scratch it again only for Jack to stop him.

“It’s just a saline drip,” Jack explained. “Nothing to worry about.”

Ianto frowned, struggling to sit up. He felt horribly vulnerable in this position, with Jack leaning over him. To his surprise, Jack did nothing to hinder him, instead propping the pillows up beside him and helping him lean back against them. Then, he grabbed a glass of water from the cupboard and held it out to Ianto, watching as he gulped the water down and taking it from him when it was empty.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, placing the glass on the cupboard before turning back to Ianto.

“I’m fine,” Ianto replied, ducking his head, before adding, “Is there anything I can do for you?”

Jack shook his head, reaching out to cup Ianto’s face in his hand. “You can get better, so I can stop worrying about you.”

Ianto frowned, biting his lip as he looked down at his clasped hands. It hurt when Jack said things like that; the words were reminders of something lost long ago and something that would end only too soon.

Jack drew back, and when Ianto shot him a sidelong glance he could have sworn he saw a tiny hint of hurt flicker over the other man’s face. It was gone so quickly that Ianto convinced himself he had imagined it.

“The Doctor said to get you some food when you woke,” Jack said, standing rather abruptly. “I’ll be right back, don’t get out of bed.”

Then he was gone, leaving Ianto alone. Ianto frowned at the door; Jack’s change of mood had been abrupt and had the situation been different Ianto would have wondered if the hurt had been real. That notion was lunacy – to believe that he could be responsible for hurting Jack would be to believe that Jack cared even an iota about him and his feelings. That wasn’t possible; Masters just didn’t care for their slaves. Jack wasn’t any different, was he?

No, a voice in his head told him – but another, quieter voice reminded him of the Doctor’s words, his plea for him to give Jack a chance to prove himself. The Doctor had seemed convinced that Jack deserved a chance and though Ianto knew it could be part of a plan to hurt him, he desperately wanted to believe Jack wouldn’t change his behaviour towards him.

He’d been so long without the slightest kindness that he had almost forgotten what it felt like to be cared for, to be treated as an equal and not as something lower than even dirt. Jack’s treatment had been more than he had ever hoped for, and he didn’t think he could take it if it turned out to be anything less than genuine. Outright cruelty he could have handled, not this kindness that left him feeling uncertain of his place.

The door swung open again and Jack walked in carrying a tray before him. He beamed at Ianto, all trace of any previous hurt gone; imagined or not, Ianto was glad of that. He hated the confusion that fleeting expression had caused – hated more the thought that, if Jack’s kindness was truly genuine, he was causing the man undeserved pain.

“Here you go,” Jack announced, waiting until Ianto had pulled himself upright once more before placing the tray on his lap. “Chicken soup, fresh orange juice and some fruit salad for after: nice and healthy, just like the Doctor ordered.”

Reaching over, Jack picked an apple from the tray, leaning back in his chair and crossing his legs at the ankles. Ianto waited until he had taken a bite before starting on his own food. Jack waited until he had finished the soup before speaking again.

“The Doctor’s talking about making a visit to the beach resorts of Solaxis Major, what do you think?”

Ianto glanced over. He’d overheard his Master talk of Solaxis Major. It was the favoured vacation spot of the elite. He’d never been, though; they didn’t allow just anyone to holiday there. This was a trick; the resort didn’t allow slaves to experience its luxuries.

“I’m serious, Ianto. Would you like to go? Say the word and we’re there.”

Jack’s tone was gentler, as if he had picked up on Ianto’s doubt. Ianto glanced over at Jack, surprised to see the nervousness in his eyes. The answer hovered at his lips – yes, he wanted to reply – but the word was held back by the thought that it might be a ruse. But even if it were, he reminded himself, Jack was his Master, and as such he was duty bound to say yes. Any other answer would result in a punishment for insubordination if Jack were to change. It only took one look at his strong physique to know that Jack could really hurt him if he tried. He repressed a shiver, looking up at Jack as he nodded.

Jack grinned. “That’s a yes then?” he didn’t wait for Ianto’s response. “We’ll be landing tomorrow, just for a few days. You’re going to love it.”

As he listened to Jack talk of Solaxis Major, Ianto became increasingly convinced that this was an elaborate trick. The luxuries offered by the resort were for the rich elite, not their slaves, and Ianto suspected he would be offered a fleeting glimpse of what his life could have been like before it was snatched away. Then, he would be stuck in a life of slavery to a crueller master than any other – for anyone would have to be cruel to offer false hope to the hopeless.

***

“Well, you’re certainly looking better,” the Doctor said, walking into the medical room that evening. He went over to check the monitor, smile widening as the results seemed slightly improved now that Ianto had rested and had some proper food in him. Having watched some of the interaction between Jack and Ianto on the TARDIS console, the Doctor was less convinced that his plan to let Jack and Ianto solve things without his interference was working. They needed someone outside, to help convince Ianto that Jack meant him no harm.

“Jack,” he said, placing a hand on the Captain’s arm, “Give me a moment alone with Ianto.” He held up a hand to silence Jack’s protest. “Please, just a few minutes – we’ll come and find you afterwards.”

Frowning – obviously unhappy with the situation – Jack stood up and left. The Doctor could sense his reluctance and suspected it was due to his fear that Ianto would bond with the Doctor and not him. The Doctor waited until Jack had left before taking a seat in the chair he had vacated. He stretched out before smiling at Ianto.

“Nothing to worry about, Ianto,” he said, “I’ve soundproofed this room so Jack can’t listen in, because he’s what I wanted to speak to you about.” He ran a hand through his hair, messing it up more than usual. “Now, I can understand why you’re scared of Jack – you have very good reason to be. You think he’s trying to trick you, and that too is understandable. I mean, why should you trust him? He bought you at auction, just like any other slave owner, and you’ve no reason to think of him as anything different, have you?

“Jack would never hurt you, he has his own reasons to hate torture and rape,” the Doctor continued darkly, giving Ianto no time to answer. “But that’s his story to tell. In fact, there’s not much I can tell you that would convince you to trust him.” The Doctor sucked in a breath. “What I can tell you is that I didn’t trust Jack at first either.”

Chuckling at Ianto’s confused expression, the Doctor launched into the story of how he had met Jack.

“...he was willing to die for what he’d done. I might not have trusted him, but I gave him a chance and certainly proved he was much bigger on the inside,” the Doctor finished with a smile at Ianto. “Jack’s a good man and he just wants to help you. Give him a chance to prove himself to you – you might just be pleasantly surprised.”

Ianto caught the Doctor’s gaze, seeing the unspoken plea in his eyes. After the story he had told, Ianto couldn’t help but have a little respect for Jack. Would it really hurt, he asked himself, to give Jack a chance? To see if he really was the man the Doctor said he was? Slowly, he nodded his agreement.

“Right, then,” the Doctor said. “You should get back to your own bed now – I dare say you’ve spent too long in here. Jack’s probably waiting for you outside, wanting to know what we’ve been talking about.” He held out a hand, helping Ianto stand and waiting for him to slip his shoes on before walking him over t the door and pulling it open.

Sure enough, Jack was waiting on the other side, looking a little annoyed. It faded as soon as he saw Ianto and he smiled. Ianto smiled back, hesitantly and stepped into the corridor.

“What’s he been telling you?” Jack asked, trying to keep his tone light, heading down the corridor, Ianto in step beside him.

“He told me how you met,” Ianto replied, with a glance over at Jack.

Jack shook his head, not surprised at the Doctor’s choice of tale; it may not have shown him in the best light, but it had hopefully proven to Ianto that he was more than met the eye. “What did you think?”

Ianto glanced across to him, slowing as they reached his bedroom before coming to a halt and turning to face Jack.

“I thought you were very brave,” he replied, looking away and so missing the brilliant smile that spread over Jack’s face. Jack’s face fell at Ianto’s next words. “Is there anything I can do for you before I turn in?”

Jack shook his head numbly; he’d thought for a brief moment that Ianto was finally accepting him, only to have the notion dispelled moments later. Part of him wanted to believe that it was merely Ianto’s caring nature that wanted to do everything for him, but, as he reminded himself as Ianto closed the door behind him, no matter how well Ianto had looked after him before, he had never been this subservient.

***

Ianto jerked awake at the sound of a scream. It was a cry of agony and fear punctuated by words: ‘no’, ‘please’, ‘stop’, repeated in a litany of sobs. At first, Ianto thought he was still in his cell, the sobbing that of a fellow inmate but, as reality dawned and Ianto realised where he was, he realised the sobbing was coming from next door: Jack’s room.

Screwing his eyes shut, Ianto buried his head under the covers. It did little to block out the screaming, and the darkness only brought the nightmares closer. Another anguished scream cut through the silence and Ianto had to force himself to remember that Jack was his Master. If the Doctor was wrong or had lied and Jack did turn out to be everything Ianto expected, then he would not forgive Ianto for the invasion of privacy if he woke him.

The screaming continued: ‘Stop, please! Master, stop!”

Ianto blanched, taking a mental step back. Had Jack been a slave once, he wondered, had he suffered as Ianto had once done? Surely a former slave would not support slavery by becoming a Master himself? Was Jack truthful in all his kindness then, or was this simply a case of Jack asserting his own lost power by stripping another of theirs?

Another scream fell from Jack’s lips and this was too much for Ianto. He knew suffering better than most and hated to see others go through anything like what he had experienced. The Doctor had mentioned Jack suffering torture and rape – and that was what he seemed to be reliving in his dreams. Ianto felt a wave of guilt; Jack had been nothing but kind to him, and he couldn’t help suspecting that Jack would have already been at his side had their positions been reversed – yet here he was, cowering in the dark and listening to Jack suffer.

Making a decision, Ianto slipped from his bed and, pausing only long enough to wrap his robe around him, hurried out into the corridor and to Jack’s room. When a knock at the door proved fruitless, Ianto took a deep breath and pushed the door open. Jack was writhing on the bed, tangled in the sheets as he fought of an invisible enemy. As Ianto neared the bed and flicked the light on, he could make out the tears on Jack’s cheeks. Leaning over Jack, he grabbed his shoulders, giving them a gentle shake.

“Jack wake up, you’re... ah!” he cried out in pain as Jack lashed out, his fist connecting with his cheek. It sent Ianto staggering back a pace, and he raised his hand to cradle his cheek in his palm. It hurt, Ianto thought; he had been right to fear Jack’s strength. Only... a glance at Jack told Ianto that he was still asleep, still struggling against a nightmare. Creeping closer to the bed, Ianto pinned Jack’s hands at his sides, wincing at the anguished cry that spilled from the man’s lips. Then, releasing one hand he shook Jack’s shoulder firmly.

 

Jack woke with a start a moment later, blinking up at Ianto in distress.

“Ianto,” he said after a moment, brushing the tears from his eyes. “What are you doing here?”

Ianto stepped back. “I thought you were having a nightmare, I came to wake you. I’m sorry if I overstepped the mark.”

Jack reached out, grasping one of Ianto’s hands in his and tugging him forward. “Thank you, Ianto,” he said quietly. “Thank you so much – I’m sorry I disturbed you... oh shit, Ianto... what happened to your face?” Jack paled, closing his eyes and leaning back against the pillows. “I did that didn’t I? I hit you?”

Ianto looked down, turning his head so Jack couldn’t see the red mark on his face. It had the dual advantage of not being able to see Jack’s obvious and confusing guilt. “It’s nothing.”

“It is not nothing,” Jack argued, reaching out to tilt Ianto’s face so he could see the mark.

“I am so sorry, Ianto – I never meant to. I must have thought you were someone else!” He frowned, fighting back the worry that he had just ruined everything with Ianto. “Let’s get you to the kitchen and put some ice on it.”

He tossed the covers back, frowning as he remembered he was naked. Looking up he caught sight of Ianto’s expression, hoping for at least a hint of interest. There was slight nervousness but nothing more. Jack grinned at him. “Sorry, should have warned you I sleep in the buff.”

He rolled onto his side, more to protect Ianto from the sight than from his own modesty, and pulled a pair of boxers from his bedside drawer, slipping them on before climbing out of bed.

Standing, he pulled Ianto a little closer so he could see the red mark clearer, reaching up to ghost fingers around the edge. He had caught Ianto on the cheek, and suspected it would bruise.

“I really am sorry,” he repeated, taking a step back as he sensed Ianto’s discomfort. “Come on.”

He headed towards the doorway, holding it open so Ianto could go through first. He tailed Ianto down the corridor, trying to erase the last clinging remnants of his nightmare. They still lingered by the time they entered the kitchen, and Jack had to fight to keep his hand from shaking as he grabbed a packet of frozen peas from the freezer and handed them to Ianto, slumping in the seat opposite.

“Are you alright?” he asked, in an attempt to distract himself from the images that were replaying in his head.

Ianto nodded, and then in a quiet hesitant voice added, “Are you? Would you like a coffee or anything?”

“I’m fine,” Jack said, about to refuse Ianto’s second request before changing his mind. “A coffee would be brilliant, though. I don’t think I’ll be sleeping any more tonight anyway.”

Ianto nodded, jumping to his feet and starting up the coffee machine. Soon the familiar smell of coffee filled the room, and Jack felt some of the tension leave him. His hand still shook minutely when Ianto handed over his coffee and Jack suspected that no matter what Ianto had been through he would still have noticed that. Sipping at his coffee he wondered why the nightmare had affected him so. He’d had the same one before, been woken by Ianto before – the only difference being that those times he had been able to wrap his arms around Ianto and fall asleep once more, knowing that they were both safe and well.

“Thank you,” he said again, smiling at Ianto over the rim of his coffee cup. He pushed the frozen peas back towards Ianto. “Keep them on a little longer; it’ll help stop it swelling.”

 

The door swung open and the Doctor strolled in.

“Help stop what swelling?” he looked over at Ianto, frowning as he saw the red mark on his face. Ianto looked away, picking up the peas to cover it. The Doctor strode round the table, taking the peas from Ianto to get a better look. “Ooh, that looks sore, better keep the ice on it,” he commented, passing the peas beck to Ianto and turning to face Jack.

"I had a nightmare," Jack confessed, "Ianto came to wake me and I lashed out. I thought it was..."

The Doctor's expression softened. “This nightmare – was it about..?”

“Him,” Jack said. “The Master and his... birthday surprise.”

The Doctor hissed, remembering that day all too clearly. Somehow, the Master had worked out the Earth date which corresponded with Jack’s birthday and provided him with a special present. The Doctor would never forget the moment when Jack had opened to box to reveal a human heart. He would never forget the look on Jack’s face as the Master had crowed ‘Ianto Jones sends his love.’ The mix of heartbreak and rage that flitted across his face was enough to convince the Doctor that if it hadn’t been for a well-timed shot Jack would have been quite capable of pulling the Master’s hearts from his chest with his bare hands. It had only been later that the Doctor had learnt – from Tish – how much Ianto had meant to Jack. The Doctor reached out, clasping Jack’s hand in his and giving it a quick squeeze.

“I’m so sorry, Jack,” he said. “But we changed it.” He smiled at Jack, looking over to Ianto who was watching in confusion. “You boys finish your coffees and get dressed then meet me in the console room. We’re setting course for Solaxis Major. Prepare for a trip of a lifetime, Mr. Jones.”

He flashed a grin at Ianto and hurried out of the kitchen.

“It’s strange,” the Doctor mused aloud once he was out of earshot of the kitchen, “I usually hear Jack when he’s having a nightmare. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say their rooms had been soundproofed so only Ianto could hear Jack.”

The TARDIS hummed innocently and the Doctor laughed. “I thought as much. Well, carry on pulling stunts like that and we’ll have them smiling again in no time.”


	7. Chapter 7

The TARDIS landed heavily, sending Ianto stumbling, grabbing hold of the guard rail to prevent himself falling. He straightened, glancing over at Jack and the Doctor who were watching; Jack grinned good naturedly at him.

“Can’t say I didn’t warn you to hold on!” he said, raising an eyebrow at the Doctor. “But you’ll get used to it eventually.”

“Hey!” the Doctor protested mildly, giving Jack an aggrieved look. Then turning to Ianto he grinned. “Are you ready for a break, Ianto? Just outside those doors are the beach resorts of Solaxis Major. Go on, open them up.”

The smile he gave Ianto made it impossible to refuse and so, feeling a little nervous under the watchful eyes of Jack and the Doctor – were they waiting for his reaction when he saw this wasn’t Solaxis Major? – he hurried across the TARDIS floor and pulled the door open.

Bitter, icy wind hit him, cutting through his thin t-shirt. Outside was a blank expanse of ice and snow, leading to some jagged mountains in the distance. A pale sun hung in the sky, giving off little warmth, and a few snowflakes fell from the heavy clouds ahead.

Ianto’s shoulders slumped in the realisation he had been right. Then Jack was behind him, pushing the door shut.

“Doctor!” he complained, “Where’ve you landed us, this time?”

He reached out, pulling Ianto away from the door and steering him towards the warmth of the TARDIS console where the Doctor was squinting at one of the screens.

“This is Solaxis Major!” he insisted. “I think we’ve landed near the winter resort, which, if I’m right, should be somewhere nearby.” He turned round, fixing them both with a frustrated look. “Now, unless you want to go out there dressed like that, I suggest you both go and find something warmer to wear!”

Jack chuckled, rolling his eyes. “Come on, Ianto,” he said, catching hold of Ianto’s elbow to gently tug him towards the door. “He never does get it right.”

 

Jack stood in front of his wardrobe, having left Ianto in the TARDIS wardrobe to change. He had returned to his room to give Ianto some privacy. He had realised, on the way back, that there was only one item of clothing he would end up wearing. Pulling open his wardrobe, his hand immediately went to his greatcoat, fingers curling into the thick wool and trailing absently down one sleeve. It was the warmest piece of clothing Jack owned and he knew that he could never replace it with any other coat. Besides that, Ianto had loved the coat, and maybe wearing it would trigger something; Jack would have been content with anything in that moment. If he wanted to stand any chance of triggering Ianto’s memories – or, if it were the only way, making Ianto fall in love with him once more – he would have to be entirely the man Ianto had known. Captain Jack Harkness was as much a part of him as Jack was, and though Ianto had been one of the few to see the private side of him he had known the Captain just as intimately.

His decision made, Jack changed quickly. He exchanged cotton shorts and a luridly patterned shirt for his slacks and a blue shirt, fastening belt and braces before pulling on his boots and holstering his Webley. He finished by pulling on his coat, feeling some reassurance in the familiar weight as he looked at himself in the mirror. He smiled at his reflection: Captain Jack Harkness was back.

The Doctor didn’t say a word when he entered, just raised a pointed eyebrow. Jack’s gaze moved past him to where Ianto hovered by the console. The very sight of him dressed in dark jeans and a black polo neck, a black overcoat swung over one arm, made Jack’s mouth go dry.

“Ianto... you look... fantastic.”

Ianto smiled, the expression on his face a mix of confusion with just the smallest hint of nervousness. “Thank You.” Then he added, in a voice so faint Jack almost didn’t hear, “I like your coat.”

Jack grinned, saluting Ianto, charming demeanour slipping back into place. “Captain Jack Harkness at your service.” He glanced to the Doctor who was shaking his head at Jack’s attitude but, despite the despairing action, he was unable to hide a small smile..“We ready to leave, Doctor?”

“I’ve been waiting for you!” the Doctor said indignantly. “Now, come on.” He marched towards the doors, throwing them open and stepping into the snow, holding the TARDIS door open and waiting for them. Jack followed, turning back to watch Ianto emerge from the TARDIS.

Ianto’s expression was one of awe, and the sight was indeed deserving of it. The snow lay pure and untouched for miles and it reflected the light up, highlighting Ianto’s face. Jack winced as he noticed what the TARDIS had been hiding with her deceptive lighting: the large bruise on Ianto’s cheek. It was brought to even greater attention by Ianto’s far too prominent cheekbones.

Looking away, he stepped up beside Ianto and placed a hand on his arm, frowning a little when Ianto started. Once, Jack would have loved provoking that reaction from Ianto but now he longed for the ease Ianto had always felt around him. “It’s beautiful isn’t it?”

He followed Ianto’s gaze, sweeping around the plains of endless snow before the ground dropped away, falling steeply before levelling out into a valley.Jack pointed towards it. “Is there civilisation around, or are we just in the middle of nowhere, Doctor?”

The Doctor shot him an exasperated look, heading off in the direction of the valley. “There’s bound to be a leisure complex around,” he said. “We’ll just have to find it – where’s your sense of adventure, Jack?”

Jack chuckled. “Come on, let’s get moving before he get us into trouble,” he muttered to Ianto, shooting him a smile before he set off after the Doctor, glancing back once to make sure Ianto was following.

* * *

“Hey, Doctor, wait up!”

They had been walking for nearly thirty minutes and had seen neither sight nor sound of any civilisation. The valley swept before them in a plain of snow and ice with steep mountains closing in on either side. Jack was cold and sick of walking with no aim in sight, but he was more concerned about Ianto. The younger man had his arms wrapped around himself and he was shivering so much that Jack could hear the chattering of his teeth.

The Doctor paused, turning to face Jack. “Is there a problem?” He glanced over to Ianto. “Ah – I’m sure there’ll be somewhere warmer soon...”

“We’d better,” Jack called. “I don’t know about you and Ianto, but I’m freezing my balls off back here!”

The Doctor’s reply was drowned out by the rumble of an engine from behind them. Jack turned, watching a small vehicle emerge from one side of the mountains towing a train of covered trailers behind it. As it approached, it slowed before grinding to a halt. It was a small but sturdy car, built for the snowy climes with its caterpillar tracks and snowplough. The driver was a young woman with short red hair, dressed copiously in furs and leathers to stave off the cold. She leapt from the car and strode over to them.

“What do you think you are doing coming out here! You’ve been warned of the danger and told not to leave the complex unless escorted by an instructor. What part of that don’t you rich bastards get! Are you so used to having your own way that you don’t care to follow rules that are there for your safety?”

The Doctor frowned and exchanged a look with Jack.

“What sort of danger?” he asked the woman.

The woman sighed. “Don’t tell me: you didn’t listen to the welcome talk either. You people, you want to break all the rules and then blame us when something goes wrong – well, it’s not going to work this time!”

The Doctor held up his hands in surrender. “Actually, we’ve not been to a welcome talk yet – we’ve only just arrived. Parked our ship somewhere up there, been trying to find the complex for a while now.”

The woman raised an eyebrow. “Well that makes a difference. Hop up into the car and I’ll take you there myself – I’m heading back there now. Sorry about before, we get a lot of idiots who think the rules are there for breaking, I’m sick of having to round them up before they get themselves mauled or killed – we don’t need any more bad publicity at the moment.”

The Doctor frowned, climbing into the passenger seat. “Well, Miss... I’m sorry, what did you say your name was?”

“It’s Kate.”

“Right then, Kate; I’m the Doctor, and this is Captain Jack Harkness and Ianto Jones. Now, why don’t you tell me exactly what’s been going on here.” All trace of the Doctor’s previous light heartedness was gone in the face of a new danger.

“Why?” Kate asked, starting the engine. “You think you can help?” She gave a derisive laugh. “Sorry to disappoint you, but the best hunters in the galaxy have had no luck with this thing.”

“Don’t be so quick to judge,” the Doctor chided gently. “I’m not a hunter or from this galaxy, so I might just have a shot.”

Kate glanced towards him, just a flick of her eyes that took the Doctor’s physique in.  
“Alright,” she said, her tone still sceptical. “All I know is that a month or so ago this creature was spotted in some of the nearby mountains. A couple of eyewitnesses described it as big with lots of white hair.”

“Just what you’d expect from a snow-monster,” Jack said from the back. “Hey, does this thing go any faster? I’d like to get somewhere warm before someone keels over from the cold.”

He had shifted closer to Ianto, laying a hand across the back of the seat so he could be minutely closer to the man. Ianto was sat stiffly, looking uncomfortable at his closeness but not flinching away.

“No, this is the top speed,” Kate answered, quirking an eyebrow at him in the rear view mirror. “I know it sounds coincidental, but it’s the truth. We’ve had nearly forty eyewitnesses now – one of them was my girlfriend. She’s a ski instructor; was one of the first to see the monster when she was leading a ski party.” She broke off, clearly troubled. “At first it was only sightings, but it’s becoming more daring: targeting small groups of visitors who stray outside the complex, looking for trouble.

“We started issuing warnings when we first started hearing about the sightings. We’ve managed to protect ourselves so far, but if we get many more deaths it’s going to close us down – and it’s only a matter of time before the monster attacks one of the ski parties, and then we’ll be in trouble, for sure.”

“You almost sound as if you care more about this place than you do the guests,” the Doctor remarked.

Kate shot him a glare from the corner of her eye. “If this place closes down I don’t just lose my job, I lose my home. Me and Tiffany are going to lose everything. Forgive me if I care more about that than a bunch of spoilt rich kids who don’t know how to follow the rules.” She broke off, taking a deep breath, seeming much calmer when she continued, “Now, I’m sorry, Doctor, but if you have any more questions you’d better ask one of the managers – there’s a lot I don’t know. They aren’t telling us all the facts; most of what I hear comes from Tiffany or rumours.”

The valley had been widening on either side and now the car sped out onto a wide plain. It veered towards a cluster of small buildings and as they approached it quickly became apparent that they were more than the usual log cabins. The chalets were beautiful; many were occupied, and finely dressed men and women wandered between them, heading in the same direction as the car. In the centre of the complex was a large reception building surrounded by bars, restaurants and even a gym and spa. A sign directed guests towards the ski-hire and trip meeting points. Kate pulled up underneath the sign, allowing them to climb out of the car.

“I’ll have to leave you here; the main reception is over there, have a safe trip.”

With a wave, she was gone. The Doctor turned to frown at Jack. “Come on, let’s see what we can find out about this so called monster.”

He beckoned to them, bounding off towards the reception. Jack gestured for Ianto to follow before hurrying after the Doctor, finally catching up to him in the reception.

“Oh no,” he whispered, “Not this time. You can do what you want, but I’m not getting Ianto mixed up in anything. He’s not ready for all that.”

The Doctor frowned, glancing over at Ianto who was still shivering lightly, surreptitiously glancing around in awe and confusion. “No,” he agreed. “Of course not.” He gestured towards a collection of sofas and chairs surrounding an open fire. “You two go and sit down and I’ll book us in.”

 

“Here we are,” the Doctor announced some minutes later, pushing open the door to their chalet and stepping aside, Jack entered, followed by Ianto who glanced around.

The chalet was elegant; a plush leather sofa lay in front of an open fire, a fur rug on the floor between them. Above the fireplace was a large entertainment system. There was a small kitchenette in one corner and a fully stocked mini bar, a wooden table and set of chairs set just to one side. There were two doors leading off the main room, one leading to a small en-suite bathroom, the other to a large double bedroom. Jack frowned, looking around for the other bedrooms. There were none; there was one double bed between the three of them.

“Doctor,” he called. “We’ve got a problem.”

“Ah.” The Doctor rubbed the back of his neck, peering over Jack’s shoulder. “Yes, they told me they only had double rooms left – still, we’ll cope won’t we?”

Jack sighed, running a hand down his face. There was only one solution to the problem; the situation was far from ideal, but the Doctor was right and they would have to put up with it. “We’ll have to, you can take the sofa and I’ll have the floor. Ianto, you can have the bed.”

“Thank you, but... that’s really not necessary,” Ianto protested, stepping up beside Jack. “I can...”

“You’re having the bed.” Jack cut him off, with a shake of his head. “No arguments. I don’t need much sleep anyway.” He placed a hand on Ianto’s shoulder, squeezing it gently. “And I want you to be comfortable, alright? Strikes me that you haven’t had enough of that, have you?”

Truthfully, Jack was less than keen on the idea of sleeping on the floor, but he had little choice in the matter – not if the other option was Ianto sleeping on the floor. That was something he was not going to allow, no matter how much the Welshman protested.

Ianto dropped his gaze, shaking his head in confusion; he didn’t deserve such kind treatment. He was a slave, used property, and worth less than most. He could not understand why any master would give up comfort for his slave. It didn’t add up and yet, despite his lingering doubts about Jack, he couldn’t shake the memories of the previous night.

As if sensing his doubts, Jack reached out, pulling his hand into his own and running a thumb across his knuckles in what he hoped was a soothing gesture without being too over-friendly. “It’s alright, we’ll sort it out later,” he said. “Now, I suggest we get some lunch.”

 

They found themselves in a small cafe near the reception, Jack eating steak and chips while Ianto picked over his chicken salad – one of the cheapest items on the menu, Jack observed, and reminded himself to reassure Ianto that money really was no object when travelling with the Doctor.

“What do you think of this place then?” Jack asked, spearing a piece of steak with his fork and shoving it into his mouth. Ianto glanced up.

“The food is nice,” he admitted, before going back to nibbling at his food.

Jack swallowed his mouthful. “I didn’t mean the food, I meant the planet, because I mean – if you don’t like it, we can leave.” He paused. “well – we can’t, the Doctor will have to sort this mess first, but then we can go.”

Ianto bit his lip, looking at his plate. “I think it’s beautiful,” he replied, then taking a deep breath he continued, “Will the... I mean, do you think the Doctor will be able to help these people?”

Jack looked up sharply, his gaze softening. Ianto, despite all he had been through, still cared. He cared about people he knew next to nothing about, about people not so different to the ones who had mistreated him. “The Doctor’s brilliant. He’ll have this sorted in no time.”

Ianto looked up, nodding with a smile.

“I’m glad,” he said before turning back to his food, leaving Jack with no demands to help like he would once have done. Ianto cared, but wasn’t jumping to help. Whether that was because he didn’t care enough or because he didn’t think it his place to interfere Jack didn’t know. All he knew was that in one moment, Ianto had seemed to close to his old self, and yet so far away. Swallowing, Jack decided he needed a moment to compose himself.

“I’ll be right back,” he announced with a small smile before pushing his chair back and leaving the table, heading in the direction of the bathroom.

Ianto picked up his drink, watching as Jack left the room. Settling back in his seat, he wondered what would happen if he ran. He dismissed the idea instantly, knowing he would surely die if he left the confines of the complex and that staying inside would never work towards escape. Besides, he mused, Jack still hadn’t changed his behaviour towards him and that, combined with the previous night’s suggestion that he had once been a prisoner or even a slave himself, gave him a hint of certainty that this life would be better than anything he had experienced for a long time. Picking up his drink again he took a sip, only to freeze when someone stepped up behind him, clamping a hand on his shoulder.

“Well, I never expected to see you here,” the newcomer said, chuckling coldly.

The glass fell from Ianto’s hand, smashing on the table. The grip on his shoulder tightened, fingers digging into Ianto’s shoulder and forcing tears of pain and fear to his eyes. Slowly, he turned coming face to face with a pair of cruel eyes.


	8. Chapter 8

Jack stepped back into the cafe, glancing over to the table to signal to Ianto that he was getting more drinks. The sight that met his eyes was one that chilled him: Ianto was visibly cringing away from an alien. Jack recognised the species; the Vavarlin were notorious for their cruelty, closely resembling tall and overly muscular humans if one ignored the blue skin, elongated ears and the tentacles that retracted into their wrists. This alien was at least twice the size of Ianto, and Jack suspected that even he would be dwarfed. One of his tentacles was wrapped around Ianto’s wrist, holding him in place while he stroked a hand down one cheek. The guests surrounding them were all ignoring the situation, carefully averting their gazes.

Hissing, Jack strode across the room, shoving waiters and guests aside and ignoring the muttered complaints. Stepping up beside Ianto he placed a hand on his shoulder, unravelling the tentacle from his wrist and pulling him backwards. He turned to glare at the newcomer, taking in the smug grin and lecherous way he was staring at Ianto.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he snapped.

The alien’s smirk grew, and he glanced at Jack. “I was only making small talk with my father’s old pet.”

It took all of Jack’s reserve not to lunge at the man and snap his neck on the spot. The man standing before him had a hand in everything that had happened to Ianto in the past two years; he had probably ordered him around, hurt him – maybe even raped him, or at the very least, had stood by while it was all happening. Realistically, he knew killing him was not an option; he would end up under house arrest and be of no use to Ianto at all.

“The slave should have been mine,” the alien continued. “He passed to my brother on my father’s unexpected death, and he sold the slave before I could express my desire for him – my brother had no taste for the male body.” He smirked. “Not even a specimen as fine as that.”

Jack bit his tongue, realising in one moment that if it became clear that Ianto was a free man and not a piece of Jack’s property, this alien would not hesitate in snatching him for his own. Kidnap for the Vavarlin was nothing compared to the crime of property theft, such as taking another man’s slave. In order to protect Ianto, Jack would have to confirm every low opinion Ianto had of him.

“Ianto,” he said, forcing utter contempt into his tone. “I thought I told you to get me a drink – and don’t think I haven’t noticed the mess you’ve made. You’ll be punished for that later.”

The look on Ianto’s face in the split second before he fled towards the counter broke Jack’s heart. Ianto looked so fearful and confused, but what hurt the most was the complete lack of surprise on his face. In that moment, Jack knew he had lost every bit of progress he had made with Ianto. Steeling himself, he gestured for the stranger to sit, taking the seat opposite. The man leant closer, steepling his fingers as his eyes followed Ianto across the room. After a moment, he held out a hand to Jack, peering at him with much the same lustful expression.

“Kav Tolomi, who do I have the pleasure of meeting.”

“Captain Jack Harkenss,” Jack said, for once not feeling completely at ease under the scrutiny of a man who was clearly attracted to him. This was a man who he suspected could easily overpower him and would care little for his comfort or pleasure if he got his way. Jack felt like he was being assessed, like Talomi was wondering who he was and who would want revenge if anything were to happen to him. Then the lustful look faded and Talomi switched his gaze back to Ianto.

“How much would you ask for him?” Talomi asked, “I’m willing to pay five hundred credits, Mr...?”

Jack clenched his fists under the table, willing his temper to recede.

“It’s Harkness and he’s not for sale,” he said, surprising himself with the calmness of his voice, he glanced across to Ianto, who was already heading back to the table, head bowed in a clear sign of submission.

“A thousand credits then,” Talomi insisted. “Come on, that’s more than enough for him, you look like a smart enough guy.”

“He is not for sale,” Jack said, not glancing up as Ianto returned to the table placing the drinks on the table and hovering nervously. “Sit down, Ianto. Don’t make me look bad,” he hissed pulling out one of the chairs roughly. Ianto, to his great relief sank into it. Meeting Talomi’s gaze he repeated, “He’s a good asset, I’m sure you’ll understand that.”

I do,” Talomi said, a trace of disappointment in his voice, pulling out a business card. He slid it across the table to Jack. “If you ever change your mind...”

“You’ll be the first to know,” Jack finished for him. He took a sip of his drink. “Well, what brings you here,” he said, hoping to move the conversation away from Ianto. He wanted nothing more than to get up and leave, but that would be an obvious slight that Jack wished to avoid.

“I’m here for the season,” Talomi replied. “It’ll be starting in a couple of weeks – unless, of course, this business with the monster scares a lot of them off. It’s a load of rubbish if you ask me, though, just a ploy to reel in more guests.”

Jack raised an eyebrow. “People have died, that’s hardly good publicity.”

He hadn’t believed his hatred for the man could grow, but the more time Jack spent with him the more he realised that he didn’t like the man anyway; what he had done to Ianto only made the dislike become complete loathing.

Talomi shrugged. “Oh, but you don’t know how these people think, they’re not like us upper classes at all.”

He paused, distracted by some commotion over by the door. A very pretty and clearly pregnant alien had just entered surrounded by her lady friends.

“That’s the Duchess of Valamir,” Talomi said, rising to his feet. “I really must go and give her my best wishes on the baby. Thank you for the drink, Mr Harkness. I hope to speak to you again.”

He left the table, leaving Jack glowering at his back. After a moment, he downed the rest of his drink and stood up.

“Come on Ianto,” he said, a little harsher than intended, immediately regretting it as Ianto climbed nervously to his feet, eyes determinedly on the floor. Without another word he turned and swept out of the cafe, Ianto hurrying to keep up. Jack waited until they were safely back in their chalet, away from prying eyes before turning to Ianto.

“Did he hurt you?” The words were not as gentle as Jack had hoped, but anger at Talomi lingered, anger and pain at the clear reminder of just what Ianto had suffered.

“No, Master.”

Ianto’s voice was so quiet, a reminder of the first time that Jack had brought him into the TARDIS. He stood in the centre of the room, head bowed and body trembling slightly. Swallowing, Jack rubbed a hand over his face, trying to force back a wave of anger at himself. It had been the only way, he reminded himself. Ianto would thank him for it one day, when he realised it had been a choice between that and being kidnapped by Talomi.

Jack closed his eyes, turning away from Ianto and pacing over to the fire. “Ianto, you don’t need to act like my slave – especially not in here. I know what I said and did in the cafe was... cruel, but I really don’t think of you as my slave. I was just...” He glanced back at Ianto before turning his attention back to the wall. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Yes, Master.”

All Jack’s rage at Talomi tumbled out of him, unstoppable and instant. “Shit, Ianto, stop acting like my slave! You’re not, and the sooner you accept that, the better.”

He kicked out at the coffee table, sending it skidding along the floor and shoving his fingers through his hair, taking several deep breaths to calm himself. He was already regretting having shouted at Ianto and was about to apologise when a quite cough caught his attention from the doorway.

Turning, he met the Doctor’s gaze. The Timelord was stood in the doorway looking far from impressed.

***

The Doctor was annoyed. He had spent the entire day rooting for answers only to have all questions refused. The manager of the site had told him that he was under no circumstances going to see any of the board, going on to tell him that any problems the resort was having were quite frankly none of his business.

It had not been a completely lost cause; the Doctor suspected that there was more to this monster than met the eye, and that the board were desperate to keep the full truth of the matter from the guests and the majority of staff. The Doctor wasn’t entirely sure what to make of the situation, wondering if they were trying to avoid panic or, if their activities were illegal, trying to escape detection.

He had been going in circles all day, after being rudely dismissed by the manager, he had gone down to the kitchens, managing to get a few rumours out of the staff before being chased away by a ladle-waving chef, who scolded him for distracting her staff. He had no sooner left the kitchen when he collided with the manager, who accused him of being from a rival resort. It had only been quick thinking and psychic paper that had prevented the Doctor from being thrown out the complex.

Strange, he had though, that the manager seemed totally against any type of help. He suspected he would have to enlist Jack in order to charm any more information out of the top staff

Arriving back at the chalet, however, he had walked into the middle of a scene that hadn’t improved his mood one bit. Jack was yelling at Ianto, who, by the set of his back and the tremors running through him, was more than a little nervous. Clearing his throat, he waited until Jack turned around before fixing him with a glare. Jack had the grace to look guilty, turning away from the Doctor’s gaze to look back at Ianto.

“Ianto, I’m sorry. He... I mean, I’m not angry with you, he made me angry and it’s not an excuse but...” Jack floundered for means to explain himself.

Taking pity on him, the Doctor closed the door behind him, stepping up beside Ianto. The Captain was a man of passions and something had clearly happened to make him erupt, losing his temper at the very person who was the reason – if not the one responsible – for much of his turmoil. Without knowing the entirety of the situation, the Doctor could not hope to help either of his companions, but he could well guess that it had been equally traumatic for Ianto. There was no possibility of getting Ianto to open up, he knew, while Jack was around in this black mood. Making his decision, the Doctor placed a calming hand on Ianto’s shoulder, frowning when he felt the young man tremble beneath him.

“Jack, I think it would be best if you went for a walk to calm down.” He gestured to the door.

“I don’t want to go for a walk, I want to sort things out here,” Jack argued before catching a glimpse of the Doctor’s expression. His shoulders slumped in defeat. “Alright, I’ll go.”

He stepped closer, reaching out to touch Ianto before thinking better of it and simply sweeping out letting the door slam a little behind him. Ianto flinched at the sound and the Doctor frowned.

“Ianto,” he probed gently. “Come and sit with me.” He guided the young man over to sit on the sofa, perching at the other end. “Now, do you want to tell me what happened?”

“It was nothing,” Ianto replied, with a small shake of his head.

The Doctor sighed. “Come on Ianto, I don’t believe that. Now, please, tell me what’s happened to get you and Jack so worked up.”

“I...” Ianto began, chancing a small glance across at the Doctor who nodded in encouragement. “My last master’s son was in the cafe. Jack told me to get drinks for them and then he...”

“He treated you like a slave,” the Doctor finished, with a sigh. “I can’t tell you that’s what I was expecting, Ianto, but I can tell you that he probably had a very good reason. Jack doesn’t think of you like that,”

Ianto didn’t respond, so the Doctor continued. “I’m serious, Ianto, Jack is the only one who can explain things, and I’m sure he will – in fact I’ll insist on it, once he’s calmed down.” The Doctor smiled reassuringly, reaching out to pat the back of Ianto’s hand. “He was right though. You need to stop thinking of yourself as a slave because we certainly don’t see you as one.” Ianto glanced over to him, meeting his eyes briefly before dropping his gaze to the floor again. The Doctor sighed, climbing to his feet and standing before the fireplace. “Ianto, please, tell me what I can do to convince you of that.”

“I’d just like... can I go to bed, please, sir?” Ianto asked hesitantly, as if he was expecting his request to be denied.

The Doctor exhaled deeply, deciding not to comment on the ‘sir’. Glancing at the clock on the mantle he saw that it was only early, just a little past 8pm, but he could hardly refuse the request, especially when Ianto was bound to be exhausted after the day they had had. “You don’t need to ask,” he answered, turning so he could catch Ianto’s eye, “And you’re still in the bed, remember.”

He watched Ianto climb to his feet, hurrying across to the bedroom door before calling a ‘goodnight’ almost as an afterthought. Then, sinking onto the sofa he flicked on the TV screen and began to wait for Jack.

***

Ianto closed the door behind him, leaning against it and trying to rein in his emotions. He was still blinking back bitter tears as he stripped and climbed under the bedcovers, burying his face in the pillow. Snuggling deeper under the covers he vowed to make the most of it before Jack forced him onto the hard wooden floor. He would; no one allowed slaves the luxury of a bed, and Jack wouldn’t be any different. He would return with the promised punishment before kicking Ianto from the bed – most likely after using his body in whatever way he pleased.

Ianto stifled a sob, not wanting the Doctor to hear his distress. Was his kindness also merely an act? Would he report Ianto’s weakness to Jack or become a fellow tormenter, stripping away all the changes Ianto had been so wary of?

He had known that it was too good to last. He had known all along that Jack would change, and everything would be as it always had been. He just hadn’t expected it to hurt so much. He wasn’t sure why it hurt so much – it shouldn’t have done, not when it had been expected. The problem was, Ianto realised, that even in the short time he had known Jack he had begun to like him. As wary as he had been around him, Ianto hadn’t been able to help liking Jack – he had even started to feel safe around the Captain.

That was something else that he didn’t understand. If anything, he should have been terrified of any master. He should have hated Jack, but even now he didn’t. Jack had been kinder than anyone had been in a long time, and that alone made Ianto cling to the faint hope that the Doctor had given him when he had said that Jack could have had a good reason for treating Ianto as he had done. The hope was slim; Ianto couldn’t imagine any conceivable excuse other than the obvious: Jack had realised – or known all along – that Ianto was nothing more than a slave, an object to be treated like something lower than dirt.

There had to be a good reason for it because Ianto wasn’t ready to wake up from the dream.

***

By the time he reached the centre of the complex, Jack had calmed down and was feeling terrible for the way he had treated Ianto at the chalet. While he maintained that his actions at the cafe were necessary, he was willing to admit that Ianto hadn’t known that and had deserved an explanation instead of being snapped at. Realising that, Jack had almost turned on his heel and run back to the chalet to apologise. He hadn’t, held back by the knowledge that he needed to calm down further before seeing Ianto again. After all, it had been seeing Ianto’s subservience – one reminder too many of Ianto’s slavery - that had caused Jack to snap.

He wasn’t angry with Ianto; far from it. He was furious at the people who had turned his strong, intelligent lover into a submissive young man, one who would obey without question or argument. Ianto’s behaviour had been the final straw for Jack; his anger had flared and Ianto had been unfortunate target.

It had been Jack’s worst mistake. He had already damaged Ianto’s fragmented trust in him through his actions in the cafe, but if he had explained them he was sure Ianto would have understood. His later actions had been inexcusable, and Jack wasn’t sure how he could even ask for Ianto’s forgiveness for them, let alone how Ianto could grant it.

The centre of the complex was a hubbub of people – one Jack wished to avoid – so he slipped down an alleyway, emerging behind one of the largest restaurants in the complex. Leaning against the wall closest were two women, one of whom Jack recognised as Kate, the woman who had brought them to the complex. She was sharing a cigarette with a young black woman with her hair in dreadlocks and wearing a long black boat with a fur hood.

Jack turned to leave, muttering an apology but not before Kate had seen him. “Hey, you,” she called. “Have you pissed your boyfriend off already?”

“My boyfriend?” Jack asked, raising an eyebrow and turning back to stare at them. “You must be mistaken.”

He might have loved Ianto, but for terms like boyfriend to enter into things the love had to be reciprocated. Kate laughed.

“What, the guy you were sitting next to? I saw the way you were looking at him. If he’s not your boyfriend then you must want him to be.” She exchanged a look with the other girl. “Trust me, he was seriously into him.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Jack repeated, leaning heavily against the wall. “It’s very complicated.”

“Isn’t it always,” the other woman laughed, taking the cigarette from Kate and taking a long drag. “Tiffany McNewell,” she introduced herself with a nod in Jack’s direction.

“Captain Jack Harkness,” Jack replied, with a smile that lacked all its usual brilliance. “You’ve a very cynical view on love,” he added after a moment. “It shouldn’t have to be complicated.”

“No,” Tiffany laughed, “But strangely enough it often is and, well, if you’re not willing to overcome a few complications then you can’t love the person as much as you profess. Don’t tell me you’re going to give up on this guy.”

Kate chuckled at that, leaning over to place a kiss on Tiffany’s cheek.

“I’m not,” Jack insisted, before shaking his head. Giving up on Ianto had never entered his mind. He owed it to Ianto to help him through this, to not give up on them, especially after all the times Ianto had forgiven him, however undeserving he may have been.

“I’m not giving up on him,” he repeated. Not even if he had to make Ianto fall in love with him all over again was he giving up. He was going to return to the chalet, explain his behaviour to Ianto and ask his forgiveness. Decision made, Jack saluted Kate and Tiffany and hurried back through the complex to the chalet.

 

The speech he had been rehearsing as he hurried through the resort vanished from his mind as he pushed open the door to the chalet, coming face to face with the Doctor. Of Ianto there was no sign, and Jack looked, as much for an excuse to ignore the Doctor’s stare as out of curiosity as to Ianto’s location.

“He’s asleep,” the Doctor stated, clearly having guessed Jack’s train of thought. “I hope you aren’t planning on disturbing him, you’ve upset him enough tonight.”

Jack paused midway to the bedroom door, shoulders slumping as he sighed.

“I know,” he admitted, in a voice so quiet that the Doctor felt a wave of pity for him.  
“Why, Jack?” The Doctor asked, stepping up beside Jack and placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Because I had to protect him!” Jack cried out, jerking away from the Doctor and sinking heavily onto the sofa. “Because he would have taken him away from me if he believed he was anything more than my slave.”

The Doctor raised an eyebrow, moving to stand before the fireplace. “And who would that be?”

“His last master,” Jack spat. “A Vavarlin.”

The Doctor winced. “Ah.” He understood Jack’s predicament. The Varvarlin cared little for human freedom, and would force anyone into slavery as long as they would not be missed. Theft of property, however, was considered a very serious offence. “Is he still around?”

“Unfortunately, but not for very much longer if he lays even so much as a finger on Ianto,” Jack growled, jumping to his feet and beginning to pace up and down the room. “Ianto’s got to understood I only acted like I did for him.”

“At the cafe, yes, I’m sure he’ll understand, but you’re behaviour back here… Did he really deserve to be shouted at like that?” the Doctor said, watching Jack pace with a shake of his head.

“No,” Jack whispered, stopping still and rubbing a hand over his face. “You have no idea how terrible I feel about that,” he confessed. “I was angry – and I took it out on him, because he was an easy target, because all his submission hurts me so much – and I know it’s not his fault, Doctor, but I miss him. I miss my Ianto, the strong, kind hearted man who wouldn’t have stood for any of that. I miss his sarcastic comments, his bloody perfectionism – hell – I even miss him telling me off about paperwork.” Jack grinned. “He never realised the only reason I never did it was because he looked so cute when he was annoyed.”

The Doctor smiled wearily as Jack faltered, placing his hand on the Captain’s shoulder and squeezing gently.

“You do realise I’m duty bound to tell him that when he gets his memories back,” he joked lightly. Jack chuckled.

“I think he knew,” he said, glancing at the door. “He must hate me right now.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” the Doctor replied, lightly, “Hate is a very strong word.” He squeezed Jack’s shoulder again. “Why don’t you get some rest, I’ll get this business with the monster sorted as quickly as I can and then we’ll put this place behind us.”

Jack nodded, but as the Doctor slipped away, he couldn’t help but cast one last look in the direction of Ianto’s door. He couldn’t help but feel that it would take a hell of a lot more than a change of scenery to fix the rift he had created between himself and Ianto.


	9. Chapter 9

Ianto woke early the next morning as the first rays of sunlight were creeping through the thin curtains. Remembering the events of the previous night, he was surprised he had not been disturbed and he struggled to comprehend what that meant. As much as would have liked to, he didn’t believe the Doctor’s insistence that Jack meant him no harm – if the Doctor’s kindness really was straightforward, then his belief in Jack might have been true. However, Jack had only become apologetic when the Doctor had arrived, and Ianto feared what would happen if the Doctor was not there to protect him. The thought troubled him and he bit his lip against the sudden wave of emotions.

He wasn’t surprised by Jack’s change of heart – although the idea of a man who suffered nightmares like Jack’s ever supporting slavery was a shock – but he was disappointed and slightly hurt. There was lingering fear too, Jack had said he would punish him, and Ianto had no desire to experience the pain he could bring. Scrambling from the bed, he pulled on his clothes, hurrying so that Jack could not find another excuse to discipline him. Once dressed and presentable he slipped from the room.

The Doctor was lying on the sofa, eyes closed and apparently in a deep sleep. Jack, however, was standing in front of one of the windows, gazing into the distance. From his position, Ianto could see the troubled look on Jack’s face and flinched. If something was bothering Jack he would most likely take out his frustrations on Ianto, as his last Master had done. Thankfully, Jack hadn’t noticed him and so Ianto slid past to the kitchenette. Jack had liked his coffee the previous two mornings; there was no reason to expect any change.

Jack didn’t stir at all while Ianto made the coffee, not even seeming to recognise that he wasn’t the only one awake until Ianto appeared at his side, offering out the coffee mug. At Ianto’s understated cough Jack glanced across, frowned deeper and took the coffee.

“Thank you, Ianto. But it wasn’t necessary,” he said, cradling the cup in his hands. “Where’s yours?”

Ianto stiffened, registering the pain in Jack’s light comment. “Master, I...” he started, not sure how to answer. “I wasn’t sure...”

Jack’s light touch on his arm startled him and he found himself meeting Jack’s eyes. “Do you want a coffee?” he asked gently. “Because if you do, you should make yourself one.”

It was the final straw for Ianto. How could Jack go back to treating him like this? How could he be so cruel to switch his moods so unexpectedly and expect Ianto to deal with it? Unwanted tears sprung up into his eyes and he took a step back, dropping his gaze to the ground.

“I’m fine, Master. Thank you.”

Jack turned away, so he was looking out of the window again. “Ianto, please don’t do this,” he said, weariness creeping into his tone. “Last night was...” He took another sip of his coffee, seeming to seek courage from the hot liquid before blurting, “Ianto, last night I was only trying to protect you.”

Ianto blinked; of everything he had been expecting, this was the last thing he would have imagined. How could Jack protect him by treating him cruelly? It didn’t make any sense. Yet Ianto found himself listening closely to Jack’s story in an attempt to decipher the truth.

“I should have explained last night,” Jack continued. “I knew his race. You must know of the Vavarlin’s laws – how seriously they take theft of property?”

He glanced over at Ianto, clearly waiting for some sign that Ianto was following. Ianto obliged, nodding once. He did know; he had witnessed many trials for theft, watching as the thieves were dealt with in the cruellest of ways. Not even the youngest and most starving child had been let off with a reprimand.

“You also know that they don’t consider pressing someone into slavery a terrible offence,” Jack continued. “If someone won’t be missed, they take them - it’s that simple.” He scowled, looking back at Ianto. “Ianto, you’ve got to understand, if he’d thought that you were a free man he would have taken you. I had to pretend that you were my property to convince him that he couldn’t just do that. I’m so sorry, I never wanted to do that to you, but I had no other choice. You’ve got to believe me.”

Ianto glanced up at Jack, caught his eye and looked away again. What Jack had said about his previous Master’s race was true. In fact, when Talomi had appeared in the café, Ianto had been terrified he was going to be kidnapped by him. Glancing shyly back at Jack he caught sight of the almost desperate look in his eye. The more he considered Jack’s story the more likely it seemed, but still the doubt remained that this was all some elaborate ruse.

“I wish I could say it won’t happen again,” Jack continued, “But if we run into him again then it will have to. I’m sorry, but I won’t risk him taking you away from me. Are you ok with that?”

There was something in the way he said the last words that surprised Ianto. It was almost as if Jack cared about him - but that would be fool’s talk, wouldn’t it? Ianto nodded, knowing that it was better to take his chances with Jack than to return to Talomi. Talomi had been worse than his father, and Ianto had to repress a shudder at the thought of being in that man’s power.

Jack saw and smiled gently, reaching out to touch Ianto only to pull back quickly when Ianto cowered away. “Don’t worry,” he said. “I won’t let him take you. He won’t harm so much as a hair on your head. I’ll do what I can to keep you safe.”

Ianto didn’t respond, Jack’s words repeating over and over in his head. He believed that Jack would protect him; after all he belonged to Jack. Jack held the deed that said as much, and wouldn’t anyone protect their property from damage or harm? Words meant nothing; it was actions that were real and Jack had shown him last night that he could be as cruel as any other Master. If it were only an act to protect him, it wouldn’t have continued once they were out of the café, and yet Jack had remained angry until the Doctor had returned home.

As if reading his mind, Jack’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “And one more thing, I am so sorry for how I treated you when we got back here. I was angry at him – I would have gladly ripped him limb from limb for how he ... treated you.”

 

Jack had changed tack at the last moment, knowing Ianto would be suspicious if Jack professed to know too much about what he had been like before his enslavement. There would be questions, and Jack wasn’t sure Ianto was ready for the answers. For one thing, telling Ianto that they were ex-lovers, though the truth, would sound highly coincidental and likely be viewed as a ploy to get Ianto into bed with him. Secondly, to tell Ianto about his life would be to tell him about Canary Wharf and Lisa, and Jack didn’t want to burden Ianto with more darkness. There was enough of that in his life right now before Jack reminded him of the more unpleasant highlights of his Torchwood career.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated lamely, draining the rest of his coffee and setting it on the windowsill. Then he glanced back to Ianto. “I know I can’t expect you to trust me straight away, but will you at least give me another chance?”

Ianto’s only response was a small nod. Jack hadn’t expected much else. He knew he had hurt Ianto the previous night, knew that he had destroyed the progress he had made but he was determined that it wouldn’t be a major setback. Smiling across at Ianto, who still lingered at his side, head bowed and silent.

“And next time I shout, feel free to tell me I’m being an idiot,” Jack said gently, in an attempt to break the uncomfortable silence. “In fact, feel free to tell me that whenever you like,” he smiled, shaking his head.

“He certainly needs it.” The Doctor took this opportunity to sit up on the couch and grin over at them. “He needs someone to keep him in line and I’m not always around to do it.” He shot Jack a soft smile, making his way across the room to stand beside them. Lowering his voice he patted Jack’s shoulder before transferring his smile across to Ianto. “How’re you feeling this morning?”

“Better, sir,” Ianto replied, prompting a frown from the Doctor.

“Didn’t we have this conversation?” he chided gently. “I’m the Doctor, just Doctor. And Jack wants none of this Master business, understood? We don’t have any need of a slave, but we can always use more friends.

“Now,” he said brightening up, “I say we go and get some breakfast and then we can decide what we’re going to do with ourselves. They have some magnificent caves out to the west that they run a daily trip to - I was wondering if we could go and explore them, certainly better than sitting around here all day.”

Jack could tell the Doctor was after more information on the monster – maybe even a sighting. Although the monster promised sure adventure, something Jack rarely passed up, he was concerned about Ianto. Ianto was not the fighter he had been; he wouldn’t know what to do in a dangerous situation and Jack was loath to place him in danger. He was about to turn the Doctor’s suggestion down when he caught sight of Ianto’s face. The young man was barely concealing his interest beneath a mask of nonchalance.

“What do you think, Ianto? We can go with the Doctor or we can stay here and relax? You’re choice,” Jack said, trying to keep his tone neutral so he wouldn’t influence Ianto’s decision.

Ianto fidgeted slightly under his gaze before answering. “I’d like to go with the Doctor, please.”

“That’s settled then,” the Doctor announced. “We’ll go and explore. Ianto you might want to go and put something warmer on, it’ll be cold outside.”

Jack waited until Ianto had disappeared into the bedroom before rounding on the Doctor. “I told you before that I didn’t want him mixed up in this,” he hissed, “And you go and pull us into it anyway. I don’t want him getting hurt, Doctor.”

The Doctor met Jack’s gaze levelly. “He’s not going to get hurt. Despite what you may think, Ianto can look after himself. He’s been doing just that for the past two years without any help from anyone. We should be safe in a group, this creature won’t attack us. If you’re so against him going, then tell him that.”

“No,” Jack replied. “We’re going. I gave him the choice, and I won’t go back on that. I just wish you’d listened when I said I didn’t want him anywhere near this; if anything happens I can’t keep an eye on him while trying to help you.”

 

Ianto could hear the hissed argument from the bedroom and instinctively knew he was the topic of conversation. He wondered if he had done the wrong thing in wanting to go with the Doctor. Had he been right in his assumption that it was only the Doctor’s presence that ensured Jack’s kindness? Ianto would have thought that to be the case if it weren’t for the memory of Jack’s dream. Ianto knew pain and suffering, and balked at the idea of causing it to any living being; surely Jack would feel the same?

Tugging his coat and boots on, Ianto lingered in the bedroom until the argument seemed to have died down. It was clearly not something Jack and the Doctor would want him to intrude upon. Only when the hissed comments seemed to have faded away did Ianto edge nervously back into the main room.

“I’m ready,” he said, glancing between Jack and the Doctor and noting the large and clearly fake smiles they were sporting. His initial suspicion had been right, then; they had been arguing over him.

“Alright, then,” the Doctor said, bounding over to the door. “Lets go. They serve up a fantastic Gerali Pudding, or so I’ve heard.”

Ianto’s expression must have shown his bemusement for Jack laughed gently, stepping up beside him to whisper, “They also do a Full English for those of us with less adventurous tastes.” He gave Ianto a wink, holding the door open for him. “Although if you want to try something a little more exotic, you can – only I’d advise you to ignore anything the Doctor says.”

Jack chatted about nothing in particular as they strolled down to the cafe, entertaining Ianto with one of his wilder stories from the time before he had met the Doctor. Ianto was smiling slightly in response, clearly trying very hard not to let slip a laugh or an undignified giggle. Once again, Jack cursed the people who had made Ianto afraid to laugh. He longed for a moment alone with Talomi; one moment would be all he needed to teach the bastard a lesson.

Smiling bitterly, he shot a covert glance around the room, pleased that there was no sign of the Vavarlin. Jack assumed he was probably still sleeping after a night of drunken revelry. He smiled in relief, joining the Doctor at a table and tugging out a chair for Ianto.

“Remember, get what you want,” he urged, peering intently at the menu, his smile widened when he spotted one of the entries under the heading ‘Earth Delicacies’ and leaning around he pointed it out to Ianto. “I expect you’ll want some of that.”

He knew that Ianto was especially partial to laverbread – something he didn’t entirely understand – and wasn’t about to let him pass up on the chance to eat it. He grinned when Ianto’s face lit up in a smile. “I’ll take that as a yes, then?”

“Yes, please,” Ianto replied. “And could I have a small full English too.” He added after a moment’s pause, “If that isn’t too much.”

“Nothing is too much for you,” Jack replied, signalling a waiter over and repeating their order. That done, he leant back in his chair and grinned across at Ianto. “So how about you tell us something about yourself, Ianto?”

“There’s nothing to tell,” Ianto replied quietly. “I’m really nothing special, I’ve not had any adventures that are with telling.”

Yes, you have, Jack thought, wanting to tell Ianto how he had helped save the world repeatedly, how he had negotiated with aliens, once preventing an alien invasion on the strength of his coffee alone. He wanted to tell Ianto exactly how special he was, but the words stuck in his throat.

“I’m sure that’s not true,” Jack said. “I’m sure you’ve got a lot of fascinating stories.” He smiled at the look of utter disbelief on Ianto’s face. “Well, at least after this you can tell the people back home about how you travelled through time and space and helped save a planet from an alien yeti.”

He grinned. The effect the comment had on Ianto, however, was quite different to what he had expected. The young man’s face crumpled and he stared down into his plate of food. “They’ll think I’m dead...” he whispered. “My mum, my sister. They’ll all think I’m dead.”

Jack sucked in a breath, remembering all too clearly the way Ianto’s mother’s face fell when she had been told of her son’s ‘death’. The tears had turned to sobs when he revealed that there was no body for her to bury. She had shouted and screamed at him, blaming him entirely and never suspecting his own love for Ianto, never knowing that every damning word levelled at him had been one he had already thought.

“I’m sorry,” Jack began, reaching out and covering Ianto’s hand with his own, giving it a gentle squeeze.

He was prevented from answering further by the arrival of their food. The atmosphere was somewhat heavier as they ate, it was clear to Jack that Ianto was trying hard not to cry. Shifting his chair slightly, he reached round, placing a tender hand on Ianto’s shoulder.

“It’ll be a nice surprise when you turn up on their doorstep,” he said, delighted at the speed with which Ianto’s head snapped upwards, gaze focussing on him. Immediately he changed the subject, leaving his comment for Ianto to puzzle over. “When does this trip start, Doctor? We want to be early so we can sit together.”

His grin widened as he realised Ianto was still staring at him and looking completely gobsmacked.

“We’ve got an hour yet, no rush,” the Doctor replied, tucking into his food. “Still, we’d better get a move on. I don’t want to miss this!”

“Great,” Jack said, glancing across at Ianto and winking, before adding teasingly, “Might want to close your mouth, flies will get in.”


	10. Chapter 10

Ianto hurried to keep up with Jack’s strides, his mind still on the single throwaway comment that Jack had made. He had given up on ever seeing his family again soon after being captured. He had barely thought of them in the past few years, but now the memories broke the surface, bringing with them a thousand questions. It was with some guilt that he realised that he had missed six years of their lives. His sister might be married by now, raising her own children; his mother might have remarried. They might not even be alive, he realised. The thought sent nausea racing through his body and he stumbled, Jack’s hands landing on his waist before he could fall.

“Are you alright?” Jack asked, steadying Ianto before leading him over to a nearby bench and pushing him down. “You’re all pale. Maybe we should go back to the chalet?”

“I’m fine,” Ianto murmured, wondering if he should tell Jack what was wrong. No, he decided. There was a chance that Jack had lied, that this was another stage in some cruel game he was playing - that this was another opportunity for freedom and happiness that would be snatched away, all too like a cat toying with a mouse. Jack had after all seemed to make it sound like an offhand comment, covering it up with a joke soon afterwards.

He felt his breathing slow, the nausea fade, and finally he felt well enough to lurch to his feet. Slipping away from Jack’s steadying arm as they hurried in the direction the Doctor had gone, Ianto couldn’t help noticing how their pace had slowed, how Jack hovered at his side. If he didn’t know better he would have thought Jack was concerned about him, that he cared about his happiness and his well being.

Ianto glanced over at Jack. He couldn’t work out where he stood with the man. With his previous master, his position had been made abundantly clear. He had been lowest of the low, below even the other servants and slaves. He had been treated like dirt. Now Jack had taken all that familiarity away, presenting him with something new that Ianto couldn’t understand. Until last night Jack had been kind, respectful and treated Ianto as an equal. Then last night everything had been pulled from under him and he had been a slave once more.

If Jack’s explanation had been the truth – and Ianto knew that what he had said about the Vavarlin was – then Ianto could accept what had happened in the cafe as necessary. He was even willing to play along if they came across Talomi again. The confusion stemmed from Jack’s reaction back at the chalet. It had been Ianto’s subservience that had seemed to cause it, and yet Ianto couldn’t understand how a slave could be too servile.

Jack’s behaviour this morning had been a pleasant surprise, but the constant switches of personality left Ianto even more confused and lost. He had little idea what Jack wanted from him or how he was supposed to act around the older man. He wanted – no, needed – to hope that Jack was being genuine. But what little hope he gained since meeting Jack was small and brittle, and Ianto suspected that if Jack broke his promise and kept him from his family that those remnants of hope would shatter indefinitely.

Jack wasn’t sure if he’d done the right thing in promising Ianto that he would take him to see his family. First off, there would have to be so many awkward explanations. Then there was the risk that in taking Ianto home he would lose him forever. After all, why would Ianto wish to stay with him when he could be in the comfort of his mother’s home?

It was selfishness that made him regret the promise. It was a bitter voice in the back of his mind that didn’t want to let Ianto go. Ianto wouldn’t remember his past in the safety of his mother’s home. He would recover and become a normal person, never knowing all the brilliant things he had done. He would be happy.

Jack wanted to be selfless; he wanted Ianto’s happiness to be the only thing that mattered regardless of where he was and who he was with. Jack knew that Ianto would be happier at home. The problem was that he would be worse off without Ianto. Still, he had made a promise to Ianto and he would keep it. He would take him home to his family –just not straight away. He wouldn’t allow himself to give up on Ianto so easily.

They made their way into a large building; the Doctor was standing by a signpost announcing that it was the meeting spot for anyone wishing to see the caves. There were a few people milling around, some of them far too finely dressed for anything other than a day in the club room. They appeared to be eyeing Jack’s greatcoat with some distaste, and Jack distinctly heard one lady mutter, ‘doesn’t he know period military was so last year’.

Raising an eyebrow at her peacock feathered coat, Jack decided against saying anything. He didn’t want to cause any more problems and almost certainly didn’t want to draw more attention than was necessary to his relationship with Ianto. News travelled fast in places like this and Jack was determined that Talomi wouldn’t hear anything about him or Ianto.  
Coming to a halt beside the Doctor, Jack gave the Timelord an almost imperceptible nod, letting him know that everything was alright. Beside him, he felt Ianto twitching nervously, unknowingly edging closer to Jack and the Doctor in order to escape the curious looks that the surrounding people were giving them. He leant across, dropping his voice to a whisper.

“Just act naturally; they’re probably just checking me out.” He punctuated the words with a slight wink.

Ianto shot him a shy look that almost bordered on incredulity. It slowly faded, replaced by the smallest of smiles. It was faint but genuine and Jack found him grinning back in delight.

“Is that a smile I see?” he said, glancing sidelong at Ianto. “You should smile more often; I bet it’s a gorgeous sight.”

Ianto tore his gaze away, looking at the ground a troubled look playing on his face. Sighing, Jack wondered if his flirting had been a step too far, too soon. Ianto was still skittish; he still thought Jack would want to... to rape him. The thought turned Jack’s stomach. Ianto had good reason to fear that; he had every reason not to believe Jack’s insistences that it was something that would never happen. His flirting was surely not going to diffuse that notion; in fact, Jack considered, it might serve to increase Ianto’s suspicions that Jack only wanted to get him into bed.

On the other hand, Jack doubted that Ianto had been paid a sincere and well meant complement in a very long time. His confidence was almost nonexistent and Jack knew he needed to build it up if he were to stand any chance of finding the Ianto he knew. Jack knew it was best to keep the flirting and innuendo to a minimum until Ianto accepted that Jack was only telling the truth and that it was entirely his own choice whether or not to take Jack up on anything he might say.

Ianto still looked nervous, but Jack was stopped from having to say anything by the arrival of their vehicle. It was made up of three carriages, each one seating eight, and a car for the driver. Jack grinned when he recognised the woman sitting in the seat, raising a hand in greeting. Tiffany waved back, beckoning them over.

“Come on,” Jack ushered them over climbing into the front row of seats. He sank into an aisle seat, ushering Ianto into the one beside him. The Doctor sat down across the aisle from Jack, and smiled pleasantly at Tiffany who had turned around in her chair.

“Doctor, Ianto, this is Tiffany. She’s Kate’s girlfriend,” Jack said by way of introduction.

“The one who saw the monster?” the Doctor asked quickly, leaning forward in his seat. “Tell me more.”

Tiffany raised an eyebrow, glancing from Jack to the Doctor and back again. “Are you press? Tourism Inspectors? You’re trying to get us in trouble aren’t you – well you’ll get no help from me!”

Her voice was terse and she began to turn away, but the Doctor leant forward, placing a placating hand on her arm.

“I’m not trying to get anyone in trouble, I’m trying to help,” he explained. “If this monster carries on attacking people, then you’ll be in serious trouble. If you let me help you I can stop that.”

Tiffany turned, meeting his gaze and nodded, “alright. I’ll tell you as we drive, but keep it to yourselves. The bosses aren’t telling us everything and they certainly don’t want it getting out to the rest of the guests.”

She craned her head back, noting that the rest of the tourists were seated. The train of cars was almost full, only one or two empty spaces dotted throughout the carriages. Tiffany turned away, flicking on the engine and putting the car into gear. Slowly, she pulled out of the building, navigating the carriages through the doorway and into the complex. She said nothing until they had driven out of the complex and were speeding across the snow.

“Jack called you Doctor. Doctor who?”

“Just Doctor. Now, tell me what you saw.” The Doctor leant back in his seat, folding his hands behind his head and crossing his legs at the ankles.

“I was out leading one of the ski parties; it was one of the more advanced groups so we were out on some of the larger peaks. I was only there to observe, really, keeping an eye on things, making sure everyone was safe, no one got hurt, that sort of thing.” Tiffany shrugged, glancing at the Doctor in the rear view mirror. “To be honest, it had been a boring morning – I was daydreaming about the plans me and Kate had made for that night when I saw it. I thought it was just the snow and my eyes playing tricks on me at first – then it moved again, closer this time.”

“What did it look like?” the Doctor asked, leaning forward in his chair, propping his chin on his hand.

“Big, lots of white hair - looked vaguely humanoid if you ignored that. Two big sharp horns too,” Tiffany explained. “I imagine it had sharp claws and teeth. I didn’t see it that close and when I realised what it was I didn’t stop and linger. I rounded up the party, spun them some story about a suspected blizzard and got them out of there as fast as I could.”

The Doctor exchanged a look with Jack. “Sound like anything you’ve ever come across?”

Jack shook his head “No, but there’s any number of species that live in the snow, could be any one of them. They’re all big and furry.”

“Jack?” Ianto’s voice was so quiet and uncertain that Jack almost missed it. He twisted round to face Jack, smiling reassuringly at him.

“Yes, Ianto?”

Ianto shifted in his seat, his gaze dropping again. “It’s just... I... last season, my Master’s son returned from the winter season with a creature. He called it a Gravlos and it looked like that. He used it in his fighting pit.”

The Doctor winced. “You could be onto something there, Ianto,” he said. “Although from what I remember of the Gravlos they’re a peaceful species. They’re carnivorous but tend to stay away from humans, living in small family groups. It’s very unusual to see one alone.”

“Well, we know what we’re dealing with,” Jack said. “What are we going to do about it?” He grinned across at Ianto, who had gone back to staring at the passing landscape. Jack reached out, grasping Ianto’s shoulder and waiting until he turned. “What do you suggest?”

Ianto looked very taken aback. He glanced away, fumbling for words; he had pitied the Gravlos his Master had owned, cringed at the low, long howls that had echoed from the fighting pits every night for two month. It had been just as much a slave as him and Ianto had known its misery. The tales of the death and injury it caused in fights could not be discounted, but the few times he had seen the creature it had hardly seemed vicious, cowering in the corner of the pit. Had it been fear, provocation that had made the Gravlos attack? Either way, Ianto could not condone the slaughter of another creature without reason.

“Could we help it?” he asked, “get it away from civilisation?”

“I’d like to try,” the Doctor suggested, “But that may be more difficult than it sounds. Given the choice, I’d rather not kill.”

He leant forward, engaging Tiffany in a conversation about the complex and surrounding areas, trying to find a suitable location for a pack of Gravlos to live. Jack listened in for a few minutes, before turning his attention to Ianto. He was once again watching the passing landscape.

Jack smiled; glad that Ianto’s years in bondage had not corrupted his heart or given him a disregard for life. Still, he didn’t want the rogue Gravlos anywhere near Ianto. He scanned the horizon, looking for any trace of movement. They were driving at full speed across the ice plain, heading towards a mountain ridge. As they neared, the floor began to slope upwards and rocks began to appear, dotted on either side of the makeshift road. A fence blocked the road from the rest of the field, a sign declaring that the ice there was thin.

As they neared the rock face, something appeared out of it, heading at full speed towards them. He recognised it as a car pulling three carriages full of people in the same manner as Tiffany.

“Hold onto something!” he snapped, gripping the side of his chair and grasping Ianto’s hand in his. The car swerved to the right, brakes squealing as the ice carried it towards the second car.

There was a crash as the second car careered into the rear carriages of the train. Jack was thrown forward, hand sliding from Ianto’s as the bar connecting their carriage to the car snapped and the cart upended. Jack was thrown free of the wreckage, tumbling into the snow and coming to a sudden halt as his back connected with a large rock.

He lay there, breathing heavily for a moment, before pulling himself into a sitting position. The car had come to a halt some feet away, Tiffany thrown to the ground. The Doctor was already knelt by her side, helping her sit up. Their carriage had turned on its side but the second and third were a mangled ruin from their impact with the car and first cart of the second vehicle. People had been thrown from its carriages and were lay groaning on the ground, some of them dragging themselves upright.

Jack searched for Ianto, frowning when he couldn’t see the young man. Dragging himself stiffly to his feet, he spotted Ianto. The Welshman was lying unconscious beyond the fence that bordered the thin ice, bleeding copiously from a cut on his head.


	11. Chapter 11

Jack staggered forward, his back still protesting from his fall. He could feel his body striving to heal itself, protesting against the movement. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered as long as Ianto was lying inches from freezing cold water on ice that could break at any moment. If the ice splintered, if Ianto fell into the water with no way of getting warm quickly he would freeze.

Taking a cautious step forward, Jack crouched down on the ice, not daring move too quickly in case the ice was unable to hold his added weight. He crept across the ice, waiting until he was next to the fence before reaching out to Ianto.

His fingers traced the edge of one cuff, curling around Ianto’s wrist. Jack leant forward, ducking below the barrier and reaching for Ianto. He had got his hands under Ianto’s arms and begun to slide him closer when there was a sharp noise and a hairline crack appeared in the ice beneath Ianto. Jack froze, listening to the ice creaking beneath them and watching the crack slowly lengthen. Then, reinforcing his grip on Ianto, trying not to disturb the ice, he threw himself backwards, landing heavily on his back, Ianto’s unconscious body atop him. It hadn’t been a moment too soon. The ice cracked, a huge chunk dislodging and bobbing on the water. Jack lay breathing deeply, trying not to imagine how close they had come to plunging into the icy cold depths.

Ignoring his protesting body, Jack rolled Ianto onto his back and knelt beside him. Ianto was still unconscious, the head wound a deep gash. It looked as if he had hit a rock when he had fallen.

“Come on, Ianto, wake up,” Jack muttered, brushing the blood away from Ianto’s forehead. Ianto would have a nasty headache when he woke, and more than likely a severe concussion. Jack desperately wanted him awake so he could get the cut seen to. Without thinking of the consequences, Jack bent to press his lips against Ianto’s, pushing some of his boundless life energy into Ianto, willing it to speed up the healing process.

The feel of Ianto’s lips against his was almost too much for Jack. His tongue slid into his mouth, caressing Ianto’s. It took him a moment to realise that Ianto had come to, and had stiffened beneath him. When he realised that he jerked back, staring into Ianto’s terrified eyes.

 

Ianto froze as he realised Jack was kissing him. The man’s lips were pressed against his, his tongue in his mouth. And after all the protests he had made over not wanting to rape him. Ianto felt his entire body stiffen, tears springing to his eyes as an involuntary moan passed his lips.

Jack pulled away in an instant, scrabbling backwards and to his feet. “Ianto, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me.” He backed away, holding his hands up in defence. “I swear, Ianto, I wasn’t trying anything on.”

Ianto’s breathing calmed now Jack was further away. He raised his hand to his head, wincing when it came away bloody. He turned his gaze back to Jack, eyes wide and fearful as he pulled himself into a sitting position. The kiss was unlike everything he had ever known with his previous Master; those had been harsh and bruising, but Jack’s kiss had been gentle without the slightest hint of pain.

Jack held out a hand to help him up. “Would you believe I was giving you the kiss of life?”

Ianto hesitated; Jack had been given many opportunities to rape him. Why would he attempt it in public? Making his decision he reached out, using Jack’s hand to help him climb to his feet. He was pleasantly surprised when Jack gave his hand a quick squeeze.

“I’m sorry if I frightened you. That was not my intention.”

Jack didn’t release Ianto’s hand instantly and Ianto was surprised to find that he didn’t find it entirely repulsive. There was no cruelty in Jack’s touch, just gentleness and a desperate need to be close. Ianto didn’t understand it; touch had always equated pain, never the kindness that Jack seemed determined to shower him with.

“How are you feeling?” Jack asked, gesturing to Ianto’s cut. He still hadn’t released Ianto’s hand; in fact, his grip seemed to have tightened marginally.

“I’m fine,” Ianto replied, and then at Jack’s prompting look added, “My head hurts a little,”

Jack frowned. “That’s hardly surprising, given that cut – you might have concussion. I’m going to need you to tell me if you feel anything strange. I don’t need you blacking out on me, okay?”

Ianto nodded, finally glancing around at the other people who had been in the cars. Some were hurrying around, helping the injured, while others sat staring around in confusion. Glancing back to Jack he found the man staring at him, a strange smile on his face.

“You want to help?” he asked, his smile seeming to grow at Ianto’s timid nod. “Go on then, but don’t over exert yourself, ok? I’ll be over with the Doctor if you need me.”

Jack hurried away towards the Doctor, leaving Ianto to pick his way back towards the carnage. It was rough going as Ianto’s body ached and the ground was slippery. Eventually, he reached the side of the nearest victim, a middle aged woman in a coat decorated with peacock feathers. She was wincing, pressing at her ankle gingerly. Ianto knelt beside her.

“May I help you, ma’am?”

She gave him a withering look, snapping, “What does it look like, young man. Of course I want some help. I think my ankle is broken.”

Ianto flinched at her tone. It was exactly the way his Master had spoken to him: snapped orders or reprimands that never failed to make him feel worthless. Still, they were best not ignored. He pushed the woman’s hands aside gently, taking hold of her ankle in his own hands. He was no medical expert but he had been forced to treat many of his own injuries in his time as a slave and knew how to heal small wounds.

The woman cried out in pain as Ianto felt around her ankle, drawing startled looks from several nearby people. Ianto ignored the heated glares, finally glancing back at the woman and smiling faintly. “I don’t think it’s broken, ma’am, just badly twisted. Try not to move it until we get back to the complex. I’ll come back and help you to the carriage when we leave, if you like.”

The woman smiled slightly. “That would be kind of you, thank you for your help.”

Ianto was surprised by the change of tone but managed to smile at the woman before climbing to his feet and making his way to the next victim. Chancing a glance at Jack, he found the man kneeling beside a young girl, using gentle hands to treat a cut in her leg. As if sensing Ianto watching, Jack looked up and smiled. Ianto looked away instantly, turning his attention to an old man sitting in one of the undamaged carriages.

As he treated the man’s injuries, Ianto found his thoughts drifting back to Jack and the kindness he had shown. The longer Jack’s kind words and gentle touches continued the more Ianto found himself convinced that they were for real. Doubt still clung to him, refusing to yield its grip and allow Ianto to trust Jack – after all, hadn’t he kissed Ianto, despite his promise that he didn’t want Ianto in that way?

“Ianto.”

The voice startled him out of his thoughts, and turning he found himself looking up at the Doctor.

“I thought you might need some bandages, they’ve got a first aid kit in every car, I managed to rescue one of them,” the Doctor explained, holding out a roll of bandages and some antiseptic. “Me and Jack are going to try and fix up one of these cars. Once we’re done I’m taking the more severely injured people back to the complex; you’re coming with me.” He pointed a finger at Ianto. “Don’t argue. Jack told me you’d banged your head.”

Ianto nodded. It was hard not to like and respect the Doctor, harder still to believe that he would ever harm him in any way. Ianto had begun to doubt that the Doctor would allow anyone to travel with him who was not completely trustworthy, and yet the niggling doubt remained. Ianto knew there was no reason for him to mistrust Jack – other that the obvious one that he had bought him at auction. He was Jack’s slave, even if Jack didn’t wish to acknowledge that. Still, there was some niggling feeling at the back of his mind that suggested Jack wasn’t being entirely honest with him.

***

“He still doesn’t trust me,” Jack sighed, leaning heavily against the car as the Doctor tried to fix it with the help of the sonic screwdriver. “I don’t know how I’m ever going to get him back if he doesn’t trust me.”

The Doctor raised an eyebrow and grinned at Jack. “I think he trusts you more than you realise,” he observed, “And I also think you have to give him time. He’s been through quite an ordeal – he’s not going to recover overnight.” He held the sonic screwdriver against another part of the car, tongue protruding from the corner of his mouth as he concentrated. Satisfied, he sat back on his heels and looked up at Jack. “And you shouldn’t be so certain that he’ll ever be the same. Even if he gets his memories back, he might never fully recover from what he’s been through. I hope he will, and from what you’ve told me I expect he will, but I can’t be certain.”

Jack ran a hand over his face. “I don’t care if it takes a lot of time and patience. I need him back. I need him to trust me – even if it takes a little longer for him to love me again, I can wait; I’ve done it before.”

He would have waited forever for Ianto; he had promised that once before, the night he had returned. He had gone to Ianto, reiterating his promise of a date, and when the Welshman had seemed doubtful had jokingly asked Ianto if he trusted him. ‘Always with my life. I’m not so sure about my heart,’ Ianto had replied with a small shrug. Jack had sworn he would wait and would gain that trust back bit by bit, but it hadn’t been until the night before they had sent Tommy back to his own time that Ianto had fully relinquished his heart to Jack.

Jack was fully aware that even if Ianto were to regain his memories there would be a long wait before he was able to hold Ianto in his arms and make love to him without him becoming fearful, but if that point was ever going to be reached, he was determined that it would be in Ianto’s time, not his.

The Doctor let out a cry of elation as the car sprang to life, turning to face Jack. “Right, we’ll get the stable carriages attached and I can drive the more seriously injured back to the complex. If I take Ianto with me, would you be happy to stay here? I want someone I can trust to be reliable keeping order.”

Jack hesitated. He wasn’t pleased about letting Ianto out of his sight; even now he had positioned himself so he could see the Welshman if he turned just a fraction. Even though he knew that Ianto would be safe with the Doctor, and that he needed to get back to the complex rather than stay with Jack. He nodded. “Alright, but I’ll want you to keep an eye on him at all times. Promise me nothing will happen to him.”

The Doctor met Jack’s gaze levelly. “You know I won’t let anything happen to him, Jack.” He patted the Captain’s shoulder reassuringly. “Now, let’s get this car sorted out.”

***

Ianto glanced over when he heard the car spring to life. He managed a tiny smile at the prospect of getting back to the complex. His head was starting to pound and although he had promised Jack that he would admit to any pains he didn’t want to seem weak or bother Jack with trivialities. Jack had his hands full taking care of the others – he didn’t need to be bothered by Ianto as well. Wincing slightly, Ianto looked around in search of his next patient. He had only just started making his way over to a young woman with a bawling child when a heavy hand clamped down on his shoulder.

“Well, aren’t we a good boy,” Talomi’s voice hissed close to his ear. “Now, you’re going to stay very quiet and come with me. If you do anything to attract attention I will kill you.”

Ianto swallowed, glancing around at the alien who only dug his fingers in tighter, sending sparks of pain shooting through his shoulders. Whimpering, Ianto glanced over to Jack, hoping the man would notice his predicament, but both he and the Doctor were wresting one of the carriages into position and neither looked across as Talomi began to lead Ianto away from the carriages, towards the caves.

Ianto knew he could have fought, pulled away or shouted for help, but he didn’t doubt that Talomi would not hesitate to kill him. Once death had been longed for, but now Ianto found it an unwelcome idea. He didn’t want to die, he realised; he wanted Jack to notice what was going on and come to his aid.

“Please, sir,” he begged Talomi. “I was told to stay here and help these people.”

He tried to pull away, whimpering when the fingers dug in sharply.

“You’ll shut up if you know what’s good for you,” Talomi hissed. “You can get back to work when I’m done.”

Ianto flinched as he realised what Talomi intended. He had thought the movement imperceptible but the snigger from his captor told a different story. “Still scared of me, then?” Talomi mocked. “That’s just how it should be.”

He shoved Ianto forward, pushing him into the caves. Had Ianto been anything short of terrified, he would have been amazed by the natural beauty of the caverns. The rays of sunlight danced off small crystals set in the rock and the icicles that hung from the roof. There was no time, nor inclination, to admire it as Ianto was shoved backwards against the wall. He cried out as the hard rock dug into his back, tears springing to his eyes as Talomi began to fumble with the button on his jeans.

***

Jack paused in his task, wiping his hands on his trousers. Glancing over at the other survivors, he searched for Ianto. The young man, however, remained elusive. Jack frowned, scanning the crowd once more before turning to the Doctor.

“Can you see Ianto?”

The Doctor glanced over, shaking his head as he looked around. “No, but I’m sure he’s around somewhere.”

Jack nodded, but didn’t pause in his search for Ianto. There was an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach that grew with every moment Ianto remained unseen. He turned from person to person, but none were Ianto.

“I’m going to look for him,” he called to the Doctor, hurrying over to the crowds of people. The closer he got the more certain he became that Ianto had disappeared. Jack felt himself turn cold, the unease growing with every step.

“Ianto!” he called, stopping in the midst of the survivors. Ianto had vanished; whether it was of his own will or against it, he was gone. Jack scanned the horizon, hoping that Ianto had not fled into the snow. He would surely freeze before he got far. “Ianto!” he called again, adding in an undertone, “Don’t do this to me again – I’ve only just found you. Please, Ianto!”

“If you’re looking for the young man you were with, he headed towards the caves with another man not five minutes ago.” Jack looked across to the young woman who had spoken. She cuddled a young child close, trying to quieten his cries. She caught Jack’s eye. “Your friend didn’t look t happy about it, I must say.”

Jack paled, not needing to hear anymore. Talomi had been on the second car. He had taken Ianto. Jack tried not to imagine what he was doing to Ianto, but the images came to his mind regardless. He turned on his heel and rushed towards the caves, moving as quickly as he could on the ice.

If Talomi had hurt Ianto, Jack didn’t think he had the willpower to stop himself from tearing the man apart with his bare hands.


	12. Chapter 12

Ianto barely held back his tears as Talomi slid his hand into his pants. He didn’t try to fight the man off to escape, knowing that any such action would make this worse. He concentrated instead on the other pain, on the sharp rocks digging into his back and side. It was little comfort; the pain only served as another reminder of his situation.

This was all he was good for, he reminded himself. He was a worthless slave, a whore. There was nothing anyone could do to change that. Jack’s kind words and actions meant nothing – the truth could not be changed so easily and Ianto knew the truth: he was nothing, worthless, deserving of nothing more than being fucked and ordered about.

He squeezed his eyes shut, tears spilling onto his cheeks. A sharp pain to his arm followed by another to his cheek shocked them open. Talomi had hit him, first with one of his tentacles, slicing through the fabrics of his coat and jumper to cut into his arm, then given him sharp slap.

“Keep those eyes open, whore!” Talomi hissed. “I want you to remember me for the rest of your pathetic life.”

He gripped Ianto’s chin and crushed their lips together in a powerful, bruising kiss. Ianto tasted blood as Talomi bit down on his lip, sobbing as fingers dug sharply into his thigh. He deserved this, he reminded himself; it was better that he never forgot what it was like. It was only what Jack would do to him in the end.

Jack. Ianto felt a flicker of hope in his chest. Would Jack notice he had gone? And if he did, would he care enough to look for him. And what would he think if he could see Ianto now? He would be disgusted, maybe even want to fuck Ianto himself, but Ianto suddenly didn’t care as long as Jack came and took him away from Talomi.

“Get your hands off him.”

Ianto thought he had imagined the voice at first. His mind had finally turned against him, trying to fool him with hopes of rescue only to snatch them away just as quickly as they had appeared. Maybe this was nothing more than a prelude to waking and Jack had always been nothing more than a dream.

Doubts were cast aside when Talomi pushed Ianto into the rocks, turning away from him. Over the alien’s shoulder Ianto could see Jack; silhouetted in the entrance to the cave with his coat flapping in the slight wind, he looked like some kind of avenging angel. Something close to fury - but seemingly greater - flickered in his eyes as he advanced on Talomi, flaring as he came to a halt only feet away.

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kill you.”

Talomi laughed and Ianto shrunk back, noting that the Vavarlin was at least head taller than Jack and at least twice as wide. If it came to a physical fight, Talomi would win and claim Ianto as his prize.

“Why would you want to spend the rest of your life locked up over a slave?” Talomi goaded, spreading his arms wide placating. “He’s nothing, Harkness, just a piece of flesh. Let me have him!”

Jack lashed out, catching Talomi’s chin and snapping his head back. “I said why I shouldn’t,” he snarled, kicking the Vavrlin’s legs from underneath him. Talomi landed with a thud, and Jack positioned himself at his side, one hand curling around his throat and the other pressing a gun to his head.

“He’s more than just a slave,” Jack hissed. “He’s worth a million of you, because he not only survived what you and your pathetic father did to him, but he managed to survive without becoming cruel or vindictive. He survived without becoming like you.”

Ianto froze on hearing Jack’s words, flicking his gaze over to the older man. Jack glanced up, smiling in what Ianto took to be reassurance. In the short span, Talomi took advantage of the lack of attention and slammed his fist into Jack’s stomach. Jack stumbled back, fighting for breath and before Ianto could even shout out a warning, Talomi had punched him again, sending him sprawling.

“You’ve gone soft on him, haven’t you?” Talomi crowed, booting Jack in the stomach, twice. On the second kick Jack reached out, grabbing Talomi’s leg and yanking, pulling the man to the ground with a thud.

He crawled along the floor, still gasping for breath as he used his full weight to pin Talomi to the ground.

“Yeah, maybe to you I am being soft on him. The way I see it, I’m treating him the way he deserves,” Jack spat, hands wrapping around Talomi’s throat. “That young man is wonderful – he deserves to be treated like a Prince, nothing less.”

Ianto flinched at the words; surely they were lies. Surely Jack was only defending his property. His hands were pressing down on Talomi’s throat, the alien’s face turning purple as he gasped for air. Jack was killing him; he was a murderer – no worse than Talomi!

A sob slipped from Ianto’s throat and he squeezed his eyes shut, backing into the wall. When Talomi was dead, would Jack turn on Ianto – the only witness to his murder – in an attempt to silence him? Or would Jack lay the blame at Ianto’s feet? He did, after all, have the motive. Either way, everything would change and the seemingly improved world would fall apart.

Ianto whimpered softly, pressing back into the wall and trying to block out the sights and sounds that surrounded him. He had known all along that things were too good to be true.

 

Jack couldn’t hear Ianto’s sounds of distress any longer. Everything had faded away except for him and Talomi. The man beneath him had raped, tortured and hurt his Ianto. His Ianto had been lost and confused, miles from home and without his memories, and Talomi had abused him in every way imaginable.

Jack had never wanted to kill anyone more than he wanted to kill Talomi.

He pressed his hands into the Vavarlin’s throat, ignoring the struggling beneath him as Talomi gasped for air, significantly weakened by its loss. He didn’t care, didn’t care about anything except killing Talomi in a way that was so much less than he deserved. His mind was a fog, not allowing anything to penetrate but the strangled gasps from Talomi. He was scared, but the fear only prompted Jack to press harder, wanting his revenge on the man for every time he had hurt or frightened Ianto.

“Jack, stop!” A hand shook his arm, the voice close to his ear. Jack brushed it off, but it returned, persistently tugging him back.

“Jack you don’t want to do this. Think of Ianto – you’re scaring him. Look!”

The words cut through Jack’s mental fog and he glanced over to Ianto, stunned to see him cowering against the wall, a look of terror on his face. Jack swallowed, looking from him to Talomi before scrambling backwards.

There was no guilt for what he had done to Talomi.- he still considered the alien deserving of death – but he felt terrible for having frightened Ianto. He had probably convinced him that he was no better than a Vavarlin.

He glanced up, not surprised to see the Doctor stood between him and Talomi. The alien was sitting up, glaring daggers at Jack as he gasped for breath. The Doctor gestured towards Ianto, giving Jack a warning look that told Jack that he intended to have a word with him about how problems were not best solved with violence. This time, Jack was willing to concede that his attack on Talomi had only made the situation worse – not that it would stop him killing him if he ever came near Ianto again. He wanted the alien dead; he wanted to cause him as much pain as he had caused Ianto – but he wouldn’t risk Ianto in the process.

He climbed to his feet, crossing to Ianto who watched his approach warily, shrinking away when Jack held out a hand. It was no surprise, Jack thought; not after what Talomi had tried to do and Jack’s reaction. But that didn’t mean it hurt any less. He stopped short, running his hand through his hair.

“Ianto, did he...” he swallowed the words, unable to voice them. “Are you hurt?”

 

Ianto blinked up at Jack, knowing what he was asking and yet surprised at his inability to formulate the words. It was as if Jack didn’t want to dwell on the topic either. Ianto had never questioned his Master’s motives before, but Jack’s behaviour was unlike anything he had known for so long and he could not help but wonder why Jack would even want to treat him like this.

The questions were never asked, though; that would be impertinent. They sat in Ianto’s mind, increasing his curiosity about Jack and the Doctor and tugging at his sense of distrust. Ianto still suspected that there was a reason beyond the kindness, an ulterior motive, a web of secrets that Jack carried with him. Despite that, he was drawn to Jack’s kindness, craving that which he had been denied for so long. He was a starving man, given food by an enemy and not caring that it might be poisoned.

“I’m fine,” he whispered. “I’m sorry that I went with him.”

“Oh, Ianto, no. I’m the one who should be sorry.” Jack said, and a closer look told Ianto that he had tears in his eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t pay enough attention, I’m sorry for how I reacted. I didn’t think how you might see it. I would never hurt you – I only ever wanted to protect you.”

He held his hand out, palm up, and smiled reassuringly. “Come with me, out of here.”

Ianto glanced over Jack’s shoulder, watching as Talomi lurched to his feet only for the Doctor to plant a hand on his chest, pushing him back and speaking sharply to him. The Vavarlin’s eyes met his as he sank back to the ground, burning into him, promising revenge and destruction. He looked away, to Jack’s hand and back to his face.

Something at the back of his mind encouraged him to believe in Jack’s good intentions and slowly, tentatively, he placed his hand into the one that awaited him. He felt fingers curl around it, squeezing gently before urging Ianto forward.

“Don’t even look at him, don’t give him the satisfaction,” he urged, picking up the pace as they passed Talomi. Ianto drew closer to Jack, feeling the way he stiffened, squeezing Ianto’s hand tightly.

“You watch your back, Harkness!” Talomi called after them. “I’ll kill you, then who’ll stop me taking my whore back.”

Jack faltered, but didn’t stop, he tightened his grip on Ianto’s hand. “Ignore him, I won’t let him touch you,” he said. “You’re no one’s whore.”

He pulled Ianto back out of the cave, into sunlight that offered little comfort in warmth. Ianto could find nothing to say to Jack’s words; the reassurances were empty when there was little protection Jack could offer if he were dead.

“You believe me, don’t you?” Jack said, stopping in his tracks and turning to face Ianto. “You know you deserve better than that?”

Ianto looked at the ground; of course he didn’t. He was worthless, nothing. He deserved everything he got; the way Jack acted was a pleasant deviation from the norm, but it would never last. All the words his Masters had ever thrown at him echoed in his mind and he knew they were the truth. He was worthless and Jack would learn that soon enough.

“You believe him, don’t you,” Jack whispered, breaking the silence. “You really believe what he says about you, don’t you?. You believe that you deserved everything he did to you”

His voice was strained and hoarse, and when Ianto chanced a glance upwards, Jack’s face was stricken. Ianto frowned; did he really see Ianto as more than that? He would only be disappointed if he saw Ianto as anything more than worthless.

Jack closed his eyes. “Ianto, believe me, no one deserves to be treated the way you were. You have every right to live without fear of violence, and to choose who to have sex with. I just don’t know how to convince you of that.”

 

The Doctor waited until Jack and Ianto had disappeared before turning his gaze on Talomi. He had used his full authority to keep the man there, relying on the man’s injury and his inherent authority to prevent the man taking off after Jack and Ianto.

“You’re a very lucky man; I was tempted not to stop Jack. If Jack hadn’t been about to damage his relationship with Ianto further, I would have turned a blind eye.”

“Since when has a good relationship been necessary with a slave?” Talomi spat, finally climbing to his feet. “I ought to kill him and take the whore for my own. If you thought you were protecting him, you were wrong!”

The Doctor sidestepped in front of him, blocking his path to the cave exit.

“I think you’ll find Jack a hard man to kill,” he said. “And I also suggest that you stay away from Ianto unless you want to find yourself in a great deal of pain – because I warn you, if you go near them again I won’t hesitate to let Jack kill you in whichever way he chooses.”

He turned away, shaking his head in disgust as he started to put as much distance between him and the loathsome alien as he could.

“As if either of you could stop me,” Talomi scoffed, at the Doctor’s retreating back. “I could snap you like a twig.”

The Doctor turned back, expression stony. “Oh, I wouldn’t cross me, if I were you. You’ll find me a very difficult opponent. I’ve destroyed civilisations of men like you before. Doing the same for you would take very little effort.” Talomi barked a laugh but the Doctor’s expression didn’t change an iota. “I wouldn’t be so amused, if I were you. I dislike slavery, and what you’ve done to that young man is appalling. I’m giving you one more chance than you deserve, because his recovery is more important than revenge. Use it wisely; you won’t get another one.”

He didn’t offer Talomi a chance to reply. Turning, he strode from the cave, scanning the area for Jack and Ianto. They were perched on a rock, Jack keeping distance between them although the Doctor suspected he was itching to embrace the younger man. Ianto was sitting bolt upright, and even from a distance it was clear he was starting at every little noise. The Doctor frowned, feeling a wave of sympathy for the young man; he hadn’t ever met Ianto in person but from their brief conversation over video when the Earth had moved and from the stories Jack told, it was clear that Ianto had been brilliant.

More than brilliant, the Doctor mused, to be in a relationship with Jack. Although, looking at Jack now, the Doctor wondered if that had been perhaps a little harsh. Jack might have flirted with just about anyone, he might have had a tale for every occasion, but it was clear that he loved Ianto a great deal and having him baulk at his every touch was hurting him more than he dared let on.

He made his way over to the pair, determined to allow them as much time alone before he interrupted what may have been an intensely private moment. As he neared he realised that neither was saying anything. Jack was glancing between Ianto and his hands while Ianto shot fleeting glances around him. On hearing the Doctor’s approaching footsteps, Ianto stiffened and turned, unconsciously shifting closer to Jack as he did so.

Jack looked over at Ianto’s movement, fingers curling round his gun briefly before he recognised the Doctor. He nodded in greeting, climbing to his feet.

“Where is he?” he demanded, putting a calming hand on Ianto’s shoulder as the younger man stood beside him. “I swear if he comes...”

The Doctor held up a hand to silence Jack’s tirade. “I’m getting him on the first train back to the complex. I don’t trust him near either of you.” He glanced to Ianto. “Are you happy to stay here, with Jack, or do you want to get back quickly?”

He shot a glare at Jack, warning him not to speak up and argue that Ianto should go back and Talomi stay.

“I’d like to stay with Jack, please,” Ianto said in a small voice, and Jack’s expression changed as a grin split his face.The Doctor glanced over, his smile one of victory; Ianto’s decision was very much a step in the right direction.

“Good!” he announced, clasping his hands together. “Right, I should be able to get the engines working now. Now to get the most vulnerable on board. You two stay here and keep warm.”

He shot a meaningful look in Ianto’s direction before hurrying back to the cart. Jack glanced after him before turning his attention to Ianto, instinctively reaching out and placing the back of his hand against Ianto’s cheek. It was icy to the touch; Jack drew back with a curse.

“You’re freezing! Why didn’t you say anything?” he pulled his greatcoat off and was about to wrap it around Ianto’s shoulders when he pulled away.

“But... what about you?”

Jack hesitated, taking a small step forward. It was freezing, the icy wind was cutting through his shirt, and the few seconds had been enough to leave him shivering. Still, that hardly mattered when he would recover. Ianto would not. He held the coat out again.

“Believe me; the cold won’t bother me that much. Please, Ianto, I don’t want you to freeze.”

He shook the coat a little to emphasise his point. When Ianto still didn’t move, Jack sighed, dropping his hand to his side as he struggled to think of an alternative. It was getting colder, Jack thought, as he began to shiver more violently. He was about to insist that Ianto put the coat on when he felt the Welshman tug it from his fingers and drape it back over his shoulders.

“Ianto...” he began to protest, but stopped as he pulled the coat more securely around him, allowing the small warmth it provided to sink into his bones. “Alright,” he conceded, “But we’re going to help the Doctor and when he’s gone, we’ll get the rest of the survivors into the caves, out of this wind.”

 

Loading the cart took longer than expected, but as soon as the most severely injured passengers were loaded onto the cart with the oldest and youngest, a group of about twenty people were left behind. At the back of the carriage sat Talomi, a smug grin on his face. Ianto knew the alien was watching him, could feel his gaze burning into the back of his head.

He shivered, remembering the alien’s touch. He had been violated so many times that it no longer left him with any emotion – just a hollow numbness and a deep conviction that it was all he was worth. Jack had been wrong; so, so wrong. He wasn’t at all deserving of the kindness Jack had to offer – even though he would welcome it for as long as it lasted.

“Ianto, are you alright?” Jack’s voice cut through his thoughts, startling him a little. He looked up and nodded, shooting a small glance over his shoulder. Jack followed his gaze, his face darkening. He stepped closer to Ianto. “Ignore him,” he said quietly. “I won’t let him hurt you.”

The fierceness in his voice frightened Ianto, but it was also convincing. Right then, Ianto believed that Jack would protect him from Talomi, although he feared that it would be Jack he needed the protection from.

He was saved from further thought when the cart’s engines sprang to life. The Doctor gave a whoop, shouting a goodbye and giving a cheery wave before steering the cart back onto the barely visible pathway back to the console. Tiffany, who had broken her arm and was unable to drive, was seated beside him offering directions and pointers to the timelord.

“Could use some of your coffee right about now, Ianto,” Jack said, his voice light. He rubbed his hands together. “Shame you can’t rustle some up out of thin air.”

He smiled across at Ianto, sticking his hands into his pockets. Ianto watched as the cart disappeared into the distance, before it became clear that Jack’s attention was elsewhere. Ianto followed his gaze to see the menacing clouds that were heading in their direction.

“Ianto,” Jack said hoarsely, “Help me get everyone to the caves. I don’t want to be in the open if that storm hits.”

Ianto nodded, hurrying to do Jack’s bidding immediately. With the luck they were having, there was no ‘if’ about it but a complete and utter certainty.


	13. Chapter 13

The twenty or so remaining survivors were huddled in the recesses of the cave, staring blankly at the mouth as the storm raged outside. It had hit with full force: large snowflakes and gale force winds. The temperature had plummeted, leaving the remaining survivors shivering and clinging to each other for shared body heat.

Jack was thankful that they had gotten everyone inside, if a little worried. In these conditions, the complex staff would be unable to send anyone to look for them. The conditions were too deadly for even the most hardened explorer. They would have to remain in the cave until the storm passed, and only then could they hope to be found. Jack was concerned; while he would have no trouble weathering the storm, he knew the extra time before they were found could prove problematic for Ianto and the others.

Ianto was sitting beside him, hugging his knees to his chest as he glanced from one group of people to the next. He turned to look at Jack, before looking away again.

“Hey,” Jack coaxed, reaching out and wrapping his hand around Ianto’s. “It’s going to be alright. I promise.”

Ianto looked back at their entwined hands and bit his lip. “How will they find us in this?”

Jack ran his thumb over Ianto’s knuckles and sighed. “They’ll wait until the storm passes and they’ll be back. The Doctor wouldn’t leave us.”

He looked away, so Ianto won’t see the doubt in his eyes. It was the smallest of doubts, and he felt guilty for it, but the Doctor had proven him wrong on that count once before.

“We’ll just have to wait this out,” Jack continued, “Stay as warm as we can.” He hesitated, rephrasing his question in his mind before asked. “If we were to get a little closer, we could share body heat – but that’s entirely your call.” He released Ianto’s hand, holding his arm open so Ianto could tuck into his side. “I won’t do anything, I swear.” He dropped his voice, meeting Ianto’s gaze. “Believe me Ianto, I know what it’s like to be violated in that way, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone – and I certainly wouldn’t dream of doing it!”

The small truth, although only a brief snippet of the story, seemed to work on Ianto. He slowly shifted closer until he was sitting beside Jack. He was still tense, sitting bolt upright, but Jack was heartened by the closeness. He wrapped his arm tighter around Ianto, resting his hand on the younger man’s arm.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, unconsciously stoking a hand up and down Ianto’s arm – a movement so familiar that it didn’t occur to him that it might make Ianto uncomfortable. “Honestly, Ianto. I need to know if there’s anything wrong.”

Ianto ducked his head. “My head still hurts, but otherwise I’m fine.”

Jack peered through the dim light at the cut; it had stopped bleeding, but he still wanted to get it looked at.

“No dizziness or nausea? Not feeling tired?” Jack probed. “Course, I can’t actually let you fall asleep, so I’m going to have to keep you busy.” He smiled, hoping that Ianto missed its falsity. “Are you looking forward to going home? Your family will be happy to have you back, I’m sure.”

He suspected the topic was a good one, having witnessed Ianto’s previous joy at the prospect of going home. He couldn’t help but feeling a slight hint of regret at the promise, however, knowing that it meant losing Ianto. He reassured himself with thoughts of it being better that Ianto should be happy, that his memories might return with familiar surroundings, but knew that if they didn’t he would have lost Ianto for good. It was unfair, perhaps, to be jealous of Ianto’s family, but Jack knew it was impossible to prevent: Ianto had once been closer to him than his own family, and furthermore Jack knew he was better placed to help Ianto recover from his ordeal – something his family could never comprehend.

“You really mean I can go home?” Ianto asked, tilting his head to face Jack.

“Yeah,” Jack said, “I meant it. I know already that I’m going to miss you, but I won’t break my word. I swear.” He forced a smile onto his face. “I understand how important family can be – having people to care about, who care about you in return is a wonderful feeling. Nothing can beat that.”

He dug his hand into his pocket so that Ianto wouldn’t see how tightly clenched his fist was. It brushed against something and in a sudden leap of faith he pulled it out, showing Ianto his only remaining photograph of the team – minus Ianto – gathered on the plass after a night out. Taking a deep breath he passed the photo over to Ianto, not sure whether he hoped it would trigger a memory or whether placing trust in Ianto would inspire him to do the same.

“I lost my father when I was a boy; our colony was attacked and he was killed, my brother taken because I let go of his hand. My mother died not long after.” He took a deep breath, glancing at Ianto who was watching him curiously. Taking another breath he continued, “Since then, I’ve spent a lot of time alone, using people because it was easier than forming relationships only to lose them again. When I first met the Doctor, he changed me for the better. I loved him; I loved Rose – the girl who was travelling with him – but then something happened and I was alone again. I never really had a family until I met the people in this photograph.”

“What happened to them…?” Ianto questioned, breaking the silence that seemed to have descended around them. He immediately tensed up, clearly anticipating a rebuke at such a personal question.

 

“We worked for a secret organisation – Torchwood. We were based in Cardiff, protecting the rift in space and time which runs through there. There were five of us: me, Gwen, Owen, Toshiko and Ianto.” His fingers brushed over their images on the photograph. “Ianto was taking the picture - he joked he would ruin it, never did believe me when I tried to tell him how gorgeous he was.” He swallowed, screwing his eyes shut. Some things were still too tender, too raw to be discussed without pain. A tear rolled down his cheek. “My brother tried to destroy the city. He wanted his revenge for what happened to him, when I let go of his hand. he shot Toshiko... and Owen. Owen went to stop a meltdown at the nuclear plant. He managed it, with Tosh’s help, but he didn’t get out in time.”

He paused swallowing around the lump in his throat, only vaguely aware that Ianto had squeezed his hand gently.

“I thought we could carry on,” Jack continued. “I thought we’d survive, but then not even three months after I lost Ianto. I sent him out on what should have been a routine operation and he was taken by the rift.”

Jack remembered that day; he would never forget the way he was sitting in his office, ignoring the pile of paperwork on his desk in favour of watching the CCTV feed from Ianto’s location. Ianto had just begun to pack up when Jack saw him freeze and look up. Jack had been unable to do anything but watch as his lover was stolen by the rift, and by the time he reached the location he knew Ianto was long gone.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever find him again,” Jack said, and it was only partly a lie. He dropped his gaze, guilt welling up in the pit of his stomach. “I spent days grieving for him. I didn’t think of how anyone else might have been suffering. Then Gwen nearly died. If I had acted a moment later, she would have done. It was my fault – if I’d paid more attention to my surroundings instead of to my grief - if I’d realised she was hurting too and also might be distracted in the field...” he broke off, clutching Ianto’s hand tighter. “I couldn’t lose her too, Ianto. I couldn’t, and that was too close. I gave her a drug: made her forget her time at Torchwood. I told her husband she did it herself – he would kill me if he knew the truth.”

 

Ianto stiffened beside him, closing his eyes. He had known Jack was too good to be true: he had stolen a woman’s memories. They had been taken from her, just as Ianto’s had been taken from him. It was a cruel fate, one Ianto wouldn’t wish on anyone. He felt a great deal of sympathy for the woman who was undoubtedly wondering about all the things in her life that she could no longer remember.

“I didn’t do it out of cruelty,” Jack confessed quietly. “I did it because I loved her and I couldn’t bear to see her hurt – or worse – and because I didn’t want to be the one to tell her husband that she was dead. I didn’t want him to suffer like I did when I lost Ianto. I know it wasn’t the best idea, but I couldn’t do anything else! You have to understand, Ianto, I’m not in the habit of taking my friends’ memories – but I couldn’t lose her too. I’ve lost too many people in my life; I can’t condemn myself for trying to keep the one person I had left safe?”

There was something in his tone, some mix of guilt and contrition that tugged at Ianto’s conscious and made him want to believe Jack. He could never condone Jack’s actions, but if Jack was being truthful and had done it for love then it was somewhat less condemnable.

“You probably think I’m some sort of bastard.”

Ianto’s heart softened at the sound of Jack’s pained question. It was as if Jack actually cared what Ianto thought of him. He glanced over warily, studying the suddenly open expression Jack wore. Was it just another act? Would Jack take his memories, leaving him even more clueless of his past, or was he truthful when he talked of doing it for love? If that was the case, then Jack would have little need to use the drug on him – love was a distant memory, something he would no longer receive and was no longer worthy of. He barely remembered what it was like to be loved and to love in return, and doubted that he would again. His family had loved him, but Ianto was unsure how they would react when they learnt what he had become.

“Ianto?” Jack’s asked in concern, reaching out and thumbing away a tear on the side of his cheek. “What’s wrong? I’m not going to touch your memories, if that’s what you’re thinking. I meant what I said, you’re safe now – I’m not going to hurt you.”

Ianto met his gaze, noting it was as concerned as his voice had been. Jack had been so open, so honest with him that, whether his intentions were good or not, Ianto felt compelled to return a small amount of trust. By no means did he trust Jack, but he was willing to try. If this was a trick, he would be no worse off than he had been before, if it was real then it was all Jack deserved.

“It isn’t that,” he whispered. “It’s just... what if my family doesn’t love me anymore? I’m sure they won’t be able to even look at me when they see what I am.”

“Oh, Ianto,” Jack said, and before Ianto could react he was pulled into Jack’s arms. He stiffened instinctively, but gradually he came to the realisation that Jack was just holding him without any ulterior motive. The older man’s arms were tight around him, one hand rubbing his back soothingly as the other came to brush through his hair. Ianto’s head was cushioned on Jack’s broad chest, Jack’s chin resting on top.

Somehow, it felt... right. The embrace offered comfort, security and, for the first time in years, Ianto felt as if he was cared for. He relaxed a fraction, more tears spilling from his eyes as he revelled in the contact.

Then it was Jack’s turn to stiffen; he loosened his grip on Ianto but didn’t release him completely. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have... Do you want me to let you go?”

“You don’t have to,” Ianto replied, still not entirely comfortable with his position but not wanting to relinquish it just yet. It had been so long since someone had held him that he wasn’t ready to let go just yet.

Ianto felt Jack nod against the top of his head, but he didn’t move to resume his tight hold.  
“Ianto, your family would never reject you. If they knew what you’d suffered, they would only want to take care of you – they would never stop loving you over something like this,” Jack said his voice quiet. “But, in the near to impossible situation that they did, you’d be welcome to stay on the TARDIS with the Doctor and I. I’d never turn you away.” Jack took a deep breath before continuing, “As for what you are Ianto, they will see you like I do: you’re a wonderful young man with a good heart despite all you’ve suffered – and now you just need love and care to help you recover.”

 

“And I could give it you, if you’d let me.”

Jack didn’t realise he had spoken aloud until Ianto tilted his head back to look at him, an adorable expression of confusion on his face. The urge to kiss Ianto was suddenly overwhelming and Jack had to ignore it. He was glad that kissing was as far as his urges went. He was still incredibly attracted to Ianto, but the thought of even contemplating doing anything with him in this state was nothing short of sick. Jack sighed, running his free hand through his hair.

“You might find it difficult to believe, Ianto, but I do care about you,” he said. “And I’d like to help you get over this, but you keep pushing me away.” He smiled reassuringly “I know that’s understandable after what you’ve been through – I’m not asking you to like me, or to even trust me; just to let me try and convince you that we’re not all bad. You can’t shut people out forever, Ianto. Sooner or later you’ll have to let them in. I know it seems hard, and that you don’t know who to trust – but believe me, it’ll get easier. Just let me help”

He knew he sounded desperate, but he was; he wanted one true smile, one whisper from Ianto that would suggest that everything would be ok. Anything that might suggest Ianto was recovering, beginning to trust again, or perhaps – at a much later stage – falling in love with him again. Jack knew he was an easy man to fall in love with – not to be in a relationship with, but Ianto had even managed that before – but his usual tactics of flirting, grinning and playing the dashing hero weren’t going to work here. Instead, he would have to employ love, understanding and compassion – with a hint of dashing hero – to even gain Ianto’s friendship, let alone his love.

And he had limited time in which to do it. Once Ianto was safe with his family, he would forget Jack unless a lasting impression was made.

Noting Ianto’s silence, he glanced over at him, forcing a smile onto his lips as he added, “At least give me a chance, Ianto – is that too much to ask?”

“I... I’m sorry,” Ianto stammered. “I can try to...”

There was a spark of nervousness in his expression, and one of fear. Jack shook his head, he wouldn’t force Ianto to like him; trust had to be given freely.

“Don’t, I don’t want you to give me a chance because you feel you should...” Jack swallowed. “I just thought that maybe I’d done enough to earn that chance to prove myself, that’s all.” He tried to smile encouragingly but feared the result was more of a grimace. “If you don’t want anything else to do with me after this, if you just want for us to go our separate ways, that’s fine – I’ll live with that – but...”

Jack silenced himself before he could continue, before he could tell Ianto that he could end up in Providence Park if he so much breathed a word about being taken by aliens. That was the worst thing that could happen to Ianto; to go from prison to prison would only make his recovery slower – Jack would not allow that to happen.

“I was just hoping you’d let me help you,” he finished, somewhat lamely. “I was hoping we could be friends.”

He glanced away, not wanting to see the play of emotions across Ianto’s face, not wanting to judge what they might mean. He distracted himself by staring out the cave entrance, noting with some relief that that wind seemed to be dropping, the flurries of snow becoming less frenzied. The storm appeared to be passing.

Grateful for the chance to change the subject, Jack pointed towards the cave mouth. “Look,” he said. “The storm looks like it’s starting to pass...”

Ianto’s relief was palpable as he followed Jack’s gaze, and Jack couldn’t help but wonder if it was relief at the prospect of getting back to the warmth and comfort of the complex, or at escaping the close proximity to Jack.

“They’ll be here for us soon,” Jack continued, rather more confidently than he felt. His smile quickly dropped away as the ground shuddered beneath them, causing several cries of alarm from the other survivors. Jack pulled away from Ianto, pulling out his Webley as he rose to his feet. The frightened cries and muttering from the others continued, this time with definable words: ‘the monster’.

The ground shook again, Jack hissed, taking a step forward. He turned back to Ianto who had climbed to his feet, fear etched onto his face.

“Stay close, I won’t have you getting hurt,” he said. “I think the Gravlos has picked up our scent.”


	14. Chapter 14

The ground shook again, filling the air with frightened cries. The Gravlos – if that was what it was – appeared to be getting closer. Jack took another step forward, flinging an arm out to keep Ianto back.

He strained to hear over the noise from the remaining survivors, but with every step closer they became more frenetic. Jack scowled, knowing that their noise was drawing the alien to them and putting them in more danger. He spun on his heel, glaring at them.

“Silence!” he roared, waiting until they had quieted, turning to stare at him with mixed expressions of disgust and fear.

“And who the hell are you?” one man dared, flicking a gaze over Jack before glancing at Ianto. Jack gritted his teeth at the derogatory expression on his face, clenching the gun tighter.

“I am the only person with even half a chance of fighting this alien and saving your pampered hides,” Jack ground out. “So, if I were you, I’d shut up and listen. Your insistent panicking is leading it right to us. Now get back and stay quiet.” His expression softened slightly. “I’m going to get us all out of here, don’t worry.”

The ground shuddered again; Jack checked his Webley, ensuring there were enough bullets to tackle the Gravlos. From what he recalled, the race had very thick skin, and coupled with its thick fur he doubted that his bullets would cause it more harm than a slight irritation. Still, he didn’t want to harm or kill the creature. Then again, that didn’t mean he wouldn’t if the need arose or if it made the slightest wrong move towards Ianto.

He glanced back, alarmed to see the look of fear on Ianto’s face. Scanning the cave once again he holstered his Webley and turned, holding Ianto steady, one hand on each shoulder so he could look into his eyes.

“Ianto, listen to me, you’re going to be alright. I’m going to make sure of it.” Ianto seemed to calm visibly. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” he reassured Ianto further before grinning slightly as he lowered his voice. “Keep yourself hidden and let me play the dashing hero.” He steered Ianto back to the wall, pushing him into a crevasse in the rock. “Stay there until it’s gone. It won’t see you.”

Then, grabbing his Webley again he backed out, putting space between him and Ianto. The Gravlos were not known for their intelligence, but their keen family instincts would clearly recognise him trying to protect something and target his weak point: Ianto.

The footsteps were clearly getting closer and Jack knew that the frightened cries and whispers from the others were going to get harder to contain. He swallowed, planting himself in the centre of the cave and bracing himself for the attack as the pounding footsteps got louder.

When the Gravlos emerged from the mouth of the cave, Jack could fully understand the screams and curses from the tourists. It was huge, covered in thick white fur that made it look even larger; coupled with the curved horns and the sharp claws and teeth it was a terrifying creature. It stared around the cave, eyes lingering on the group of tourists.

“Everyone stay back – and keep still and quiet!” Jack called before switching his attention to the Gravlos. “Hey, over here, why not try a piece of me!”

He bent low, snatching a stone from the ground and throwing it in the Gravlos’ direction. It bounced off the wall beside its head, catching its attention. With a questioning growl, the Gravlos turned its eyes to Jack before starting towards him.

Jack ducked beneath the Gravlos’ wild swing, dropping into a roll before clambering to his feet again. The Gravlos lumbered forward, swiping at him a few more times. Jack ducked each time, hoping to hold the Gravlos back until the Doctor arrived.

He fired off another few shots, catching the Gravlos’ attention then ducking and rolling as the Gravlos slashed out with its claws in anger. When he got up he found he was far too close to Ianto’s hiding place for his liking and darted to the side.

“Over here!” he called, tossing another stone. It bounced unnoticed off the Gravlos’ shoulder as the alien took a step closer to Ianto’s hiding place, clearly drawn by a small noise or movement from the Welshman.

Jack swore, desperate that Ianto shouldn’t be discovered, and fired his Webley, striking the Gravlos in the abdomen. With a furious roar, the Gravlos struck out with one clawed hand. It was too quick. Before Jack could move he was screaming in agony as the claws raked across his stomach. The strength behind the Gravlos’ swipe was enough to knock him off his feet, flinging him roughly against the cave wall. Hovering on the edge of consciousness, he could see the Gravlos heading towards him and braced himself for death. His last fleeting image was of Ianto breaking cover and rushing towards the Gravlos.

 

Ianto was terrified; Jack was slumped against the far wall, unmoving and seemingly unconscious. The Gravlos was lumbering towards him, set on the easy meal. A deep rooted panic spread through Ianto at the thought of Jack’s demise. He was at a loss to explain it; surely, with Jack’s death he would be able to escape – shouldn’t he desire that more than anything?

Freedom was truly desirable, but Ianto couldn’t accept that it had to come with the death of one if the only people to show him kindness in a long time. If he lost Jack, he lost the protection that he offered and without that he could easily be snatched or even killed by Talomi. Ianto shuddered as he realised that he had no guarantee that the Doctor would even help him without Jack and that would mean the loss of his only way home. He couldn’t give that up.

Besides, his conscience added, he wouldn’t let you die.

Without really stopping to think about what he was doing, or contemplating the danger he was putting himself in, Ianto broke cover.

“Hey!” he yelled, “Over here!”

His voice sounding strangely loud after so long speaking in not much more than a whisper. He stooped to grab a small rock from the ground and threw it at the Gravlos, as he had seen Jack do, following it with another. It growled, turning to face Ianto and taking a lumbering step forward. It let out a tremendous roar that shook the ground around them and sent Ianto staggering backwards.

At the great noise, Ianto’s courage failed him, and he took a faltering step backwards. He knew he stood no chance at outrunning the creature. He swallowed and took another step backwards, crying out as his foot caught on a rock and he fell backwards. He flinched beneath the Gravlos’ gaze, scrabbling backwards in an attempt to escape it but the Gravlos continued gaining on him quicker than he would have liked.

As he was beginning to see death as a certainty, Ianto’s hand brushed against something metal. He glanced around to find Jack’s Webley lying on the ground beside him. It had fallen from Jack’s hand when he had been flung aside. Pulling it towards him, Ianto glanced over it; he had never fired a gun before but necessity relied on a good shot. Aiming the gun at the Gravlos he pulled the trigger, squeezing his eyes shut at the last moment.

There was a loud bang followed by a roar of pain. Opening his eyes, Ianto saw that he had hit the Gravlos in its shoulder, but it had caused little damage.

Ianto emptied the Webley into the Gravlos’ arm, each bullet only seeming to enrage it further. It roared and raised its arm to strike. Ianto dropped the gun, squeezing his eyes shut as he waited for the killing blow.

A high pitched noise filled the air, Ianto cried out at the assault on his ears, covering them with his hands to block out some of the noise. He was barely aware of the Gravlos roaring in agony then a series of hurried footsteps. When he opened one eye it was to see the creature bounding away into the cave system.

He pushed himself upwards when the noise stopped. Hands grabbed his arms, hauling him to his feet. Terror clawed at him and he pulled away, turning to face whoever had seized him. It was the Doctor, but the sight of him only faced Ianto with a new wave of fear. The Doctor’s expression was stern and Ianto knew he had done wrong. He had disobeyed Jack’s direct order, and worse he had injured the Gravlos – a creature that might have been killing for no other reason than hunger. He had known Jack and the Doctor wanted to cause minimal damage to the Gravlos; he too hadn’t wanted to harm it, but had done so regardless. He felt guilty and hung his head in shame.

“I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have tried to hurt it. I accept any punishment you have for me,” he whispered

The Doctor’s face changed instantly into an expression of shock. “I’m not going to punish you, Ianto.” He shook his head. “I don’t like guns, but the bullets wouldn’t have done the Gravlos much harm. You were only protecting yourself – I can’t punish you for that.” He tilted Ianto’s chin upwards. “Remember, Ianto, no more punishments – not from me and certainly not from Jack. You’re safe with us.”

Ianto opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by a furious shout from behind. “What do you think you were doing? I told you to stay hidden – you could have been killed.” Jack grabbed Ianto’s shoulders, giving him a little shake. “What were you thinking?”

 

Emotions were swirling in Jack’s mind. He was furious with Ianto, half brought on from the sheer terror at coming so close to losing him again. He couldn’t lose Ianto, wouldn’t if he could help it. Ianto’s silence was frustrating and Jack went to demand answers again when he noticed the slight tremble in Ianto’s shoulders. A proper look told him that Ianto was shaking, head bowed and tears rolling down his cheeks. He felt sick with guilt and loosened his grip on Ianto’s shoulders.

“Oh, Ianto...” he murmured, heart constricting at the frightened whimper that was his only reply. With a sigh he reached out, tilting Ianto’s chin upwards. “I’m so sorry, Ianto. I didn’t mean to upset you...” he said, cupping Ianto’s face in his hands. “Please, forgive me – I’m not mad at you. Not at all, you just scared me – you could have been hurt - or worse.”

“I’m sorry,” Ianto murmured. “It’s just... you were hurt and...”

He trailed off, gaze falling to the ground once more. Jack was stunned. When he had seen Ianto emerge from his hiding place, he had thought it to be from fear. He had never imagined that Ianto could have wanted to help him, never even contemplated that he might attempt to save his life if things went wrong. He swallowed, stunned with gratitude but at the same time knowing that a repeat could cost Ianto his life.

“You did it for me,” Jack murmured. “Thank you.” He paused, biting on his lip as he silently vowed that he wouldn’t ever let Ianto give his life in return for his own. “Ianto, as grateful as I am, you can’t do that – I’d have been fine... I don’t need you to keep me safe...”

It was only partly a lie. Jack had never wanted Ianto to put himself at risk in the field, not even if it would prevent a messy death, but at night, Jack needed Ianto beside him to ward off the nightmares. Ianto’s reaction was to look away, chastened, leaving Jack feeling even guiltier than before.

“Come on then, back to the complex before you freeze to death,” Jack muttered in an effort to change the subject. He slipped an arm around Ianto’s waist and began to lead him towards the rescue car.

***

“How are you feeling?”

Ianto glanced up at the sudden question, barely managing to stop himself spilling his tea. Jack was leaning against the back of the couch, staring at him with a strange expression.

“I’m fine,” he replied quietly, turning his gaze back to the fire. “Thank you, for everything.”

As soon as they had reached the complex, Jack had insisted on him having a once over. The medic had treated Ianto’s head wound, given him some pills for the pain and instructed him to keep warm. Jack had taken the words to heart and draped Ianto in all the blankets they owned before positioning him in front of the fire pushing a cup of tea into his hands. Ianto would have preferred coffee, but it hadn’t been offered so he had to be content with tea.

Jack shrugged, coming round to sit on the other end of the sofa. “It’s no more than I’d do for anyone else. I’m sure you’d do the same for me.”

Ianto nodded, knowing it was true. If Jack was ill, it was his duty as his slave to tend to him; however, unlike with any previous master, Ianto wouldn’t mind the task half as much.

“You know, after all you’ve been through today, no one would think less of you if you weren’t fine,” Jack continued. There was something hesitant in his words, almost as if he was nervous of Ianto’s reaction.

Ianto glanced across, frowning. “I have to be fine, never anything less. I am only a slave; my Master’s needs must be my priority, not my own.”

Jack sat up, face ashen. “That’s what he said, isn’t it?”

It was less a question than a statement, one Ianto didn’t know how to answer. It was common sense wasn’t it, that a slave’s wellbeing should not compromise his Masters?

“Ianto,” Jack said, shifting across the seat but not quite touching Ianto. “He was so wrong, so very wrong. I’ve said before you aren’t my slave – but regardless, your feelings aren’t something you should hide. They’re what make you human, and you have every right to express them. If you’re ever feeling less than fine, you need only let me know and I’ll do everything in my power to make it right.”

Ianto was confused; why would Jack even care? It should have been Ianto’s role to make him happy and yet, he was offering to do the same for him. There were no words he could find that would suit Jack’s offer when he could hardly tell him that he was wrong. In the end he settled for a simple ‘thank-you’ before glancing back to the fire, half expecting Jack to leave. He didn’t; instead he looked more conflicted, leaning forward in his seat and clasping and unclasping his hands. Ianto thought he was going to say something and after a moment he was proven right.

“You do know, don’t you,” Jack asked hesitantly, “That what Talomi tried to do to you was wrong?”

Ianto ducked his head in shame, cheeks burning. “I deserved it; I’m just a slave, worthless.”

Said aloud - and to Jack - the words stung. It was an acceptance of his position, an acknowledgement that would allow Jack to treat him as a slave if he so chose. When you were something, you didn’t challenge the people who said you were something better.

“It’s not true,” Jack said, his voice sounding strangely hoarse, as if he were trying to stop it cracking. “You are not just a slave Ianto – and you certainly aren’t worthless. And as for deserving it – no one deserves that, no matter who they are, what they’ve done. Everyone has a right to say no – even you.”

Ianto bit his lip, wondering if Jack knew how wrong he actually was. He was nothing – how could Jack say any different? Did he really believe it? Did he honestly think Ianto was more than a slave? He chanced a glance at Jack, who smiled reassuringly and held out a hand. “Come with me.”

Ianto accepted the hand tentatively and let Jack pull him to his feet. There was a quick squeeze of reassurance and then Jack tugged him towards the bedroom. Ianto froze up as they entered - a movement that was not lost on Jack. Turning around, he held Ianto still.

“I’m not going to rape you, Ianto. I’ve already promised I would never do anything you didn’t want.” Ianto heard the exasperation in his voice, something Jack clearly hadn’t been able to hold back, and immediately settled into compliance when Jack placed him before the mirror.

“Tell me what you see,” Jack probed, standing behind Ianto, an arm across his shoulders.

Ianto glanced up at his reflection, swallowing deeply as he came face to face with a haunted young man. His blue eyes were dead, his face gaunt and pale. He raised a hand to finger the hair that fell to his shoulders. He looked terrible, a ghost, worthless and spoilt – especially in comparison to Jack. He swallowed; it hadn’t escaped his notice that Jack was incredibly beautiful – perhaps perfect was a better word to describe the older man’s features – his beauty was undeniable and only served heighten the contrast between them.

“I see nothing,” Ianto whispered. “I see a worthless, ugly, slave. I’m nothing.”

Tears gathered in his eyes and he dropped his head, turning away from the mirror and Jack’s gaze.

“Want to know what I see?” Jack asked, tilting his chin up, and Ianto couldn’t turn away from the deep blue eyes that contained such emotion. “When I look at you,” he said, “I don’t see a slave or a worthless whore. I see a young man who has been through so much in his short life - but who’s survived it. I see someone who has been surrounded by monsters but hasn’t become one. I see someone special, made more so by the fact they don’t even know how much. I see a brave, wonderful – and beautiful – man,” Jack said, forcing Ianto to look into the mirror again, “And I’m not talking about me.”

His grin was infectious and Ianto couldn’t help but smile. Jack’s grin grew wider at that.

“When we get back to the TARDIS, I could teach you how to defend yourself,” he offered, “Just in case you have to defend yourself – although I hope it never comes to that again. Would you like that?”

Ianto stared at him; his previous master would have punished him for even daring to fight back, and yet here was Jack offering to teach him how. Ianto was not so stupid as to believe that Jack intended it to be used on him, and had a fair idea that Jack would overpower him quickly if he tried to fight him, as would many others, but the offer was meant in kindness and was a sign that Jack really didn’t want him hurt.

“I’d like that.”

Jack grinned again, reaching out to caress Ianto’s cheek - a movement that didn’t have Ianto flinching away, like it once would have. He realised with no little shock that he was becoming accustomed to Jack’s touch and no longer feared it would cause pain. Trust was still a long way away, but Ianto found that it was no longer the impossibility it had once seemed.

Maybe, just maybe Jack was everything he seemed to be.


	15. Chapter 15

_They were getting closer. Heavy, metallic footsteps echoing down the corridor, shaking the walls and floor of the supply cupboard he had hidden in. He held in a whimper, determined not to make a sound lest they should hear him and drag him screaming to whatever fate awaited those they found. Hugging his knees to his chest he willed himself to calm down, certain that they would hear the pounding of his heart in his chest. He didn’t want them to find him. He didn’t want to die._

_The footsteps stopped, just outside the door. He squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to see his executioners._

_A blade was pressed to his throat from behind. He screamed, the sound muffled by the gag stuffed in his mouth. His eyes flew open; the supply cupboard was gone, replaced by a kitchen. He was bound and gagged while someone knelt behind him, pressing the knife to his throat._

_“Lots of meat on this one, one of the best we’ve had.”_

_The words were spoken by a woman. The figure behind him laughed, breath hot on the back of his neck._

_He gagged at those words, realising that the covered bodies hanging from meat hooks were human and that he would become one of them. The knife slid away from his throat and Ianto began to struggle fiercely only to have a hand fist in his hair and yank his head back. They were masked; one of them slapped his face._

_“Don’t try and escape, you’ll only regret it later.”_

_A laugh came from the one holding him. “Don’t tell him that, beating the sense into them is always the best part - this one is going to make us a tidy profit when we get rid of the rebellious streak.”_

_He hissed, pulling forward against their grip. He was released without warning, falling forward landing with a grunt. The beating began immediately, blows from feet, whips and even a cruelly wielded chain raining down on his exposed flesh._

_Huddling in on himself, curling tightly to protect his vitals he let out a plaintive cry as a boot landed in the small of his back. Once started, the whimpers and cries couldn’t be stopped and soon were replaced by one word, repeated in desperate litany: Jack._

 

“Jack. Jack, Jack!”

Jack flinched at the pained tone in Ianto’s voice. He had stopped writhing in the bed, curling into a tight ball and calling his name. Reaching out warily, he laid his hand on Ianto’s shoulder, stroking it gently down his arm and back up before giving him a quick shake.

“Ianto, Ianto! Wake up, you’re safe. Wake up.”

Ianto whimpered and curled into a tighter ball. Jack frowned and shook him a little more vigorously. This time Ianto’s eyes flew open; he arched away from Jack, a terrified cry spilling from his lips as he scrambled away. He came to a halt pressed up against the headboard, his breath coming in heavy gasps as he stared around fearfully. It was clear that he was still unsure as to where he was.

“Ianto, it’s ok. You’re safe,” Jack said again, shifting to sit cross-legged on the bed. “It was just a dream – whatever it was about, it didn’t happen – you’re safe.”

His calming tone had a marked effect on Ianto. His eyes settled on Jack and his whole body sagged, shoulders slumping as he hugged his knees to his chest, although a little looser than before. A few deep breaths seemed to calm him and he gazed at Jack.

“Thank you,” he murmured, dropping his gaze back to the bed. He was still visibly afraid, body racked with tremors as he tried to contain the occasional slight hitch to his breathing.

Jack shifted across the bed, leaning against the headboard beside Ianto. “Do you want to tell me about it?” he asked, only partly out of a deep curiosity to know if the details were the same as the old nightmares. When Ianto only glanced towards him warily, Jack continued, “Telling me might help. I promise I won’t laugh at you or use them to hurt you.”

“I...” Ianto started, shooting a timid glance in Jack’s direction. “It was horrible... I was in a tower and there were monsters: huge metal monsters...”

Jack flinched slightly, repressing the urge to smile. From the first few words, Jack had known Ianto was speaking of Canary Wharf. As much as he wished that those memories were non-existent, that Ianto should never have had to suffer them in his dreams as well as his waking hours, he was aware that those were some of the strongest memories Ianto had; that they had returned to haunt his nights was surely a sign that his memories were still there and – hopefully – close to returning.

Jack could have told Ianto the truth, but listening to him talk about the cannibals and what could only be his treatment at the hands of the slavers, he became more and more aware that he couldn’t bring himself to do that. Ianto was already aware of so much suffering – Jack couldn’t bring himself to add to that, even in the event of it bringing his lover back. Telling Ianto who he really was would be to tell him about Canary Wharf, Lisa, the cannibals, Gray and all the other times Ianto had been injured physically or emotionally. Jack couldn’t bring himself to do that; he knew he was wrong to do so but he would never willingly inflict suffering on Ianto and to tell him that all his nightmares were real seemed the greater of the two offences.

Noting Ianto’s distress, the increased quivering of his shoulders and the tears that had gathered in his eyes, Jack reached out, running a hand down Ianto’s arm. He was surprised that Ianto didn’t pull away, instead turning to meet Jack’s gaze.

“You’re safe now,” Jack soothed, not moving his hand. “You’re with me, and didn’t I say I’d look after you?” he grinned, squeezing Ianto’s arm gently. “I’m not going to let anything else happen to you, Ianto. You have my word.”

“Thank you,” Ianto repeated, sliding back under the covers but not lying down. “Not just for waking me up – but for... for everything.” There was a faint red tinge to Ianto’s cheeks. “No one has been so kind to me in so long and I just want you to know that I am grateful.”

“You’ve nothing to thank me for, Ianto. I’m treating you how you deserve to be treated, that’s all.” Jack paused. “Now, it’s still late – you should get some more sleep...”

He noticed Ianto flinch at the idea of being left alone with his nightmares. It had always been that way: Ianto needing the reassurance that the nightmares were not real, desperate to cling to Jack at night in a way he would never admitted in the daylight. Jack didn’t count it as a mark against him; he would have been more worried had Ianto no lingering after-effects from all he had suffered in his short life.

“I could stay here though, if you’d prefer that – on the floor, of course, if you’d be more comfortable.”

Ianto was clearly mulling it over, unsure whether to accept or refuse. Jack guessed a little at his dilemma: Ianto wanted him to stay but was afraid that accepting would be showing weakness. “Honestly, the Doctor’s still up at the offices, so I could use the company, and I can’t imagine you’ll be sleeping straight away.”

The hesitation was only momentary before Ianto responded, first with just a nod and then adding, “I’d be glad to stay awake for a while longer.” He smiled gratefully, tugging the covers around him a little more forcefully before leaning back against the headboard, adding in a very small voice, “You don’t have to sleep on the floor.”

Jack frowned, knowing instinctively that Ianto was far from comfortable with that idea. He was watching Jack warily, as if he didn’t fully trust him not to attack him. The offer had been made from kindness and the false belief that it was what was expected of him. It wasn’t: Jack would have slept on a bed of knives if it spared Ianto the slightest fear or pain.

“I’ll be fine on the floor; I’ve slept in worse places.” Jack said, relishing the comfort of the bed for as long as it lasted. He knew, deep down, that the floor was a safer option. Sharing a bed with Ianto would be a terrible idea for as long as Jack was unable to hold him. Ianto would only end up waking in Jack’s arms and then they would be back at square one.

“I could sleep on the floor,” Ianto said, guilt creeping into his tone. “It would only be fair...”

“You’re not sleeping anywhere but in this bed.” Jack cut him off. “I would be fine on the floor, but if it would honestly make you feel better, I can sleep on top of the covers?” This seemed to placate Ianto, so Jack lay back on the bed, rolling onto his side and propping himself up with one elbow to look at Ianto. He frowned; Ianto had relaxed, but he was still glancing around the room as if the creatures from his nightmare would leap out at any moment. “Come and lie down, Ianto” Jack said, beckoning him closer. Ianto looked over, holding his gaze before sliding under the covers, shifting to face Jack.

“Do you have those nightmares often?” Jack asked, hoping he didn’t sound overly curious. If they were not a common experience Jack believed that their re-emergance could only be connected to him. If that were the case his continued presence could only encourage other, better memories – memories of him - to return as well. More than anything Jack wanted Ianto to remember him.

“No, that was the first time.” Ianto told him with a shake of his head. The expression on his face was one of relief, one that told him that Ianto would be glad never to have that dream again. Jack wished he could tell Ianto that he wouldn’t but he couldn’t bring himself to lie to him about that.

Funny that, how he couldn’t tell Ianto that his nightmare was a one off when he was withholding an entire history from Ianto, unable to open himself up to rejection and equally unable to tell Ianto that his nightmares were real, that he had lived through them and more besides. Jack knew he was wrong to hold back the information but he couldn’t bring himself to bring pile more pain and suffering on Ianto when he only just seemed to be recovering. No, he decided, he couldn’t cause Ianto any more anguish. He would tell Ianto, but not yet - not when Ianto was only just beginning to trust him.

“It’s a shame that the worst ones normally come back to haunt us,” he said, hating the downcast expression on Ianto’s face. He hated seeing Ianto upset or afraid, hated more being unable to help in the ways he once had. His lover would have allowed him to pull him into his arms, shower him with kisses and – occasionally – help him forget the terrors. Jack, normally so easy with flirtations and touches, hated that he was unable – even scared – to touch Ianto in case it was taken the wrong way and shattered the fragile bond he had with Ianto. He didn’t want to see Ianto revert to those initial fearful moments.

Catching Ianto’s eyes though, he knew he couldn’t leave Ianto uncomforted. He edged closer himself, recalling the moments in the cave when Ianto had not rejected his embrace, had even seemed to relax into it. Taking a deep breath he took a chance: “I always found that the best way to get over nightmares was to be held by someone, to feel safe and protected – as if the bad things can’t get you. I know... I know you don’t really trust me, but I’ve said I won’t let anything happen to you and I meant it, so if you wanted... I could...”

He paused, not having realised how nervous he was about rejection. He hadn’t realised how much he wanted – no, needed – Ianto back in his arms, even if it wasn’t entirely the way it should have been. Nothing was how it should have been, though, and Jack worried that where once Ianto would have come quite happily into his arms, now even such a simple request would be met with fear.

“I... don’t mean that you have to...” Jack added, flopping onto his back so he didn’t have to see Ianto’s eyes. He could still feel them on him though, confused and enquiring. “It’s just that I don’t like to see you like this and I want you to know that I’m willing to give you any comfort you might need.”

He heard Ianto shift under the covers. “I don’t know what to say...” he whispered, and when Jack glanced over he noticed the tears in Ianto’s eyes.

Frowning, Jack rolled back onto his side, moving across the covers to lie before Ianto, he reached out to Ianto, stopping at the last moment, his hand hanging in air above his arm. “Say you’ll let me comfort you, say you’ll let me show you that I care.”

There was a hesitation and then Ianto nodded. Jack closed the distance between them, draping an arm around Ianto’s shoulders and rubbing soothing circles on his back. Ianto was tense at first, but gradually, when Jack had done no more than hold him, Ianto began to relax.

Jack felt the tension leave his shoulders and momentarily stilled his hand, glancing to see if Ianto had fallen asleep. He hadn’t; Ianto had looked up. He smiled a little when he caught Jack’s eye.

“My mam used to do that, when I was younger,” he said, a little shyly.

Jack smiled; he had already known that, Ianto had said the same thing the first time Jack had comforted him after a nightmare. “Do you want me to stop?” he asked, lifting his hand from where it rested. “You can say yes, I won’t be angry.”

Ianto was silent for a long time. Jack was just about to pull away and give Ianto his space when Ianto leant into his embrace once more. “No, I... I liked it,” he answered timidly. “I almost felt safe, like those things couldn’t get me.”

His confusion was raw and mixed with the slightest bit of fear but Jack could also hear the slightest hint of need in his voice. Wordlessly, he resumed his position, rubbing Ianto’s back, trying to bite back the wave of emotions that flooded through him. It was the ‘almost’ that gave Jack cause to worry; he guessed he was the reason Ianto didn’t feel entirely safe.

 

Ianto lay silently in Jack’s arms, concentrating on the steady circles Jack was making on his back. If he closed his eyes he could imagine he was at home, with his mam, except her hands had never been as large as Jack’s. It was strange that being with Jack could make him feel safe. Ianto was not used to feeling safe or protected, especially not with Masters who had taken every opportunity to hurt or humiliate him, but Jack was something different. If Ianto hadn’t known better, he would have thought that he had known Jack once, in a better time but he hadn’t and there was nothing else that could explain how he would feel so secure around the older man.

Ianto still feared Jack, still knew he could hurt him, but the belief that he would was slowly diminishing. Jack had shown him the kindness and care that he had long desired, and on the occasions that he had shouted or been unkind Ianto knew that his life had been in danger from others. Jack’s concern had been expressed as anger and even that had quickly dwindled into nothing. He knew he should fear Jack, yet that was becoming more and more difficult as Jack did little to deserve that fear.

The fear still lingered at the back of his mind, bringing with it an urge to get away from Jack, but at the same time, Ianto knew he couldn’t do that. Jack was still his Master and should be obeyed; Ianto didn’t want to suffer the consequences of displeasing Jack, and even if Jack claimed not to mind if Ianto didn’t want his comfort, Ianto had seen the fleeting desperation in his eyes and could feel it in his embrace. He knew Jack was gaining comfort from the embrace and that he wanted to offer comfort as much as Ianto wanted to receive it. After all Jack had done for Ianto, it would have been unfair to deny him, especially when Ianto didn’t find the proximity entirely uncomfortable.

“You know,” Jack says quietly, fingers pausing in their circles and beginning to draw circles down Ianto’s back instead. “I’d forgotten how nice it could be, lying with someone else after a hard day.”

Ianto shifted, tilting his head back to frown at him. He knew Jack was talking about the other Ianto, the one who had been part of his team. He had become a stranger to love but that didn’t mean he didn’t recognise it when he saw it. He had seen it in Jack’s eyes when he had spoken of Ianto before: love and the raw pain of grief. He saw it now, the same pain in Jack’s gaze, the same tight smile on his face.

There was nothing he could think to say that wouldn’t sound too intrusive, so in the end Ianto settled for a whispered, “I’m sorry.”

This caught Jack’s attention; he glanced down at Ianto, smiling fondly. “So am I,” he sighed, a bitter edge to his tone. “I always knew what we did was dangerous, I knew I would lose him one day. I used to lie there at night, holding him close, so thankful that he was still there. Sometimes... sometimes I used to wish that I didn’t love him as much as I did, then it couldn’t hurt as much when I lost him, but that was impossible.”

Jack paused, taking a couple of deep breaths to steady his nerves. Ianto stayed silent, knowing it was not his place to comment or to interrupt the flow of emotion that had been unleashed.

“It was impossible not to love Ianto, though,” Jack continued, voice only a whisper. “If I could have kept him from the field I would have done, but he was too brave for that – he would never have accepted it and I needed him out there too much.” He swallowed thickly, before continuing, “I should have gone with him that day, he should never have gone alone.”

He didn’t say the words aloud, but Ianto knew Jack was implying that it was his fault. In that instant he hated the other Ianto: Jack’s Ianto. A man who had shared his name but only that – the other Ianto had been brave, intelligent and beautiful but most of all he had been loved. Jack had loved him to an extent Ianto had never known, would never know, and that knowledge caused in Ianto a strange jealousy. The hate and jealousy waned as quickly as they had appeared, leaving Ianto with a knot of guilt in the pit of his stomach. What right had he to be jealous of this Ianto? What right had he to hate him, when he had done nothing to him? Only fortune had placed them on separate paths, Jack’s Ianto had only been more fortunate.

He was snapped out of his reverie by the sensation of something wet landing on his forehead. Glancing up, his eyes widened at the tears rolling down Jack’s cheeks. There was nothing Ianto felt he could say or do, so instead he shifted closer, not complaining when Jack clung to him tighter despite the discomfort it caused him. Jack had done all he could to make Ianto comfortable, even sacrificing his own comfort, Ianto could hardly deny him this.


	16. Chapter 16

“Jack.”

Jack stirred as the light fell across his face, blinking away the last remnants of sleep as he turned his head to glance up at the speaker. Unsurprisingly, the Doctor stood framed in the doorway, glancing between Jack and Ianto in some concern. Jack sighed, glancing at the man in his arms; in sleep Ianto had relaxed and curled against him; he looked comfortable but Jack was willing to bet that he had not enjoyed their close proximity the night before at all. With a wave of guilt he carefully slid away from Ianto and off the bed, hurrying across the room. Only when the door was shut behind him did he turn to meet the Doctor’s disapproving gaze.

“It wasn’t what it looked like, surely you don’t think that I...”

“No, Jack,” the Doctor said. “I didn’t. I know you would never do that, and I think he might be starting to believe that, too.”

Jack nodded, sinking onto the sofa and dropping his head into his hands. “I should have known it was a bad idea. I was so stupid,” he said, not even looking up when the Doctor sank into the seat beside him.

“Jack, what happened?”

Jack told him, not bothering to gloss over his role in the events. One could almost have accused him of coercing a reluctant Ianto into his arms, he thought guiltily. He had used Ianto’s nightmare to get his own comfort.

He didn’t dare look at the Doctor when he had finished, not wanting to see his disproval. When a hand landed on his shoulder, though, he chanced a glance up and saw concern in the Doctor’s eyes.

“I know you miss him, Jack. I know you want him to be the way he was – but he isn’t, and he might never be. Getting his memories back is only the first step; he’s not going to want to jump into bed with you straight away.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” Jack snapped, brushing the Doctor’s hand aside as he stood up, pacing forward and coming to a halt before the fire. “I know he’s going to take time to recover. I’ve been through it, remember? I’m not going to force him to do anything he’s not ready for.”

“I didn’t suggest that you were, Jack,” the Doctor said, remaining calm despite Jack’s obvious anger. “I’m only concerned that the only reason he’s accepting what you want because he can’t think of a way to refuse it. He still sees you as his Master, Jack – and I know you don’t even like to consider that, but you’re going to have to do something about that or he’s going to spend the rest of his life doing everything you tell him because he doesn’t know any different.”

Jack sighed, the fight going out of him. “I’ve told him he’s not a slave, what more can I do to make him believe me? I don’t even know how to convince him he’s not worthless and that he didn’t deserve everything he got. I’ve tried telling him but he doesn’t seem to get that he’s free to make his own choices now. He doesn’t believe that I might think he’s more than just... nothing.”

 

“I assume his self-worth will come when he understands he’s free,” the Doctor said. “Until then, he won’t be able to comprehend that anyone might like him or care about him. For someone to love him? He sees that as an impossibility – until he’s free he won’t be able to see your love for what it is, and although he might return it he’ll never admit to it.” The Doctor paused, drawing in a deep breath before continuing. “Jack, I think you should start thinking about telling him the truth... if he knew who he was, what he meant to you it might make everything a lot easier.”

Jack turned to face the Doctor his face a mask of conflict. “I wish it were that simple, but it isn’t. There are so many problems with just telling him that it’s almost impossible. I mean, for one thing, how on earth am I meant to tell him? ‘Morning, Ianto, how are you today – I never did tell you, you’re my lost lover, oh and your nightmares are all real.’ Yeah, like that’ll go down well.” Jack barked a laugh, beginning to pace up and down before the fire. “Considering he even believes me – and even now, I really doubt he would, no matter how much proof I offer him – how exactly do I tell him about all the stuff he’s been through? He’s got enough to deal with right now!”

Jack finished his ranting, closing his eyes and leaning against the wall beside the fire and gazing across at the Doctor. “Tell me, what do I do? Because I sure as hell can’t cause him any more pain than what he’s already in.”

 

The Doctor sighed; he had always known Jack could be fiercely protective over what he loved. That he wouldn’t want to cause Ianto any more pain was understandable but only a little part of why Jack felt unable to tell his lover the truth. The Doctor suspected that, though he would never admit it, Jack was scared that Ianto wouldn’t believe him and see it only as a ruse to get him into bed under a more pleasant guise. He was frightened that Ianto might reject him and leave if given the chance, wanting nothing more to do with him. Honestly, the Doctor doubted that Ianto would believe the truth. He had been through too much, been treated too unkindly for him to believe Jack’s kindness to be motiveless – he would hardly believe he was loved and cared for. Especially by someone who had as much love to offer as Jack did.

The Doctor knew keeping Ianto’s past from him was wrong. He knew Jack didn’t like the secrecy either, but it was the only way to keep Ianto from not believing the truth and leaving at the earliest opportunity. That would break Jack, and the fact that it was even a possibility kept the Doctor from trying too hard to push Jack into revealing Ianto’s memories. It had to be Jack’s choice; it was, after all, his place to tell Ianto and not the Doctor’s.

Privately the Doctor felt that telling Ianto might trigger his memories but he kept his thought to himself. It was only a possibility and he couldn’t bear to see Jack get his hopes up only to have them come to nothing.

His eyes widened as something suddenly occurred to him. “Hang on, Jack, you said Ianto was having a nightmare. Did he tell you what it was about?”

Jack slowly looked up, meeting the Doctor’s eyes. “Yeah, it was Canary Wharf, the time when he was nearly murdered by cannibals – all the things he used to have nightmares about – that’s a good sign, right?”

The Doctor nodded sagely. “It seems so. Perhaps the Gravlos triggered some subconscious fear and it pulled up all his forgotten nightmares. It’s good news in that it means the memories are still there, buried deeply, but if he can access them in his dreams it increases their chances of returning on their own. Still, they’re hardly the best memories to have returned first.”

The Doctor shook his head sadly, missing Jack’s look of incredulity.

“Hardly the best?” Jack spluttered “They’re the worst memories he has – what could be possibly worse than having them return?”

The Doctor shook his head. “Think about it, Jack. Nightmares you can soothe away, you can comfort him and tell him they aren’t real. That’s what you did in there and I’ll bet it’s made Ianto trust you a little more. Imagine if he’d had a dream about you and him... you know...” He waved a hand to elaborate. “I don’t know what the pair of you got up to, but imagine those memories returning. Imagine him waking at night terrified that you’re going to do that to him, confused as to why he’s even dreaming about it – it would frighten him away, put us back on square one.”

Jack leant back against the wall heavily, face pale and drawn. “I hadn’t thought of that,” he admitted quietly. “I don’t think he can associate sex with pleasure right now, he would think that everything I’ve been doing was just a prelude to... to rape. There’s no other way he could see it. I’m his Master; he wouldn’t ever want sex with me.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “What have I been doing? All the comfort I’ve given him, the times I’ve held him close – if he gets those memories back he’ll think they were just a ruse, a sick plot to get him close before I break all his trust. I should have held back, I should have waited – if I lose him it will be my fault for being too forward.”

The Doctor stepped forward and placed a hand on Jack’s arm, feeling the immortal’s pain acutely. He led him back to the sofa and placed an arm around his broad shoulders.

“Come on, Jack, you can hardly blame yourself for being who you are. You love Ianto, you could not have done any less to protect him and ensure his comfort – and what you have given him has no doubt made him happier than he has been in a very long time.” The Doctor squeezed Jack’s shoulder gently. “There is no guarantee that he will recover those memories before any other, and if he does we will deal with the consequences then.”

“I don’t think I could bear for him to hate me,” Jack said with a hint of desperation in his voice. “I don’t think I could stand it if he left of his own free will. Without his memories, there’s nothing I could do to win him back.”

“What happened to the irresistible Captain Jack?” the Doctor said lightly. “Time was there wasn’t anyone he couldn’t win over with his charm and flirting.”

Jack barked a laugh, but the Doctor could tell his heart wasn’t fully in it. The proximity and distance between him and Ianto was wearing on him, but the Doctor could hardly fault that – if someone he loved had been through all Ianto had, he didn’t think he could hold it together all too easily either. Jack was coping remarkably well, all things considered.

“Not Ianto,” Jack said quietly, taking the Doctor completely by surprise.

“What was that?” he asked, not quite understanding Jack’s comment.

Jack looked across, a slight smile playing n his lips. “Ianto was never one to be won over by some flirting and charm. If I’d done something bad enough to deserve decaf or a night on the sofa, that’s what I got. I could charm and flirt as much as I wanted but there was rarely any moving him. You could say he knew me too well...” He paused, leaning back in his seat. “Except now he doesn’t know me at all.”

“The Captain I knew wouldn’t have let that get in his way; he could flirt just by saying ‘hello’,” the Doctor commented. “I’m pretty sure he could make almost anyone fall in love with him.” He smiled at Jack and gave his shoulder a quick squeeze. “And he’s already fallen in love with you once, Jack. It’s not like you’re trying to convince your worst enemy to love you. He’s still Ianto and his memories are still there – that means that somewhere, deep down he already does love you. He doesn’t hate you, Jack, I’m sure of it.”

Jack smiled again, a little brighter this time despite the tone of Jack’s voice and his unenthusiastic words. “You say it like it’s going to be easy – it never is.”

“No,” the Doctor agreed, “But it will be worth all the hard work, when you have him back, memories and all, won’t it?” He gripped Jack’s shoulder a little harder. “You’ve got to remember something though – Ianto fell in love with all of you, the charming, flirtatious you as much as anything else. It won’t do him any harm if you flirt a little, it might even help his self-confidence a little. Not too much, mind, but a little can’t hurt.”

Jack managed a laugh, “I can’t believe I’m hearing this, Doctor – you’re telling me to flirt.”

The Doctor smiled back. “Well, there’s a first – and last – time for everything,” he said lightly before becoming serious once more. “Honestly, Jack, if you want him to fall in love with you, if you want him to remember you then you’ll have to be yourself and nothing less.”

He gave Jack’s shoulder another little squeeze. He was very worried about his old friend, Jack seemed to be taking this harder than he could ever have expected. His words of encouragement were as much to relieve Jack’s own worry and frustration as they were possibilities for help. Honestly, the Doctor didn’t know if Ianto’s memories would be that simple to recover – if he believed they were bad he might not even want them back. Still, it was better for everyone that Jack believed that things would be easier than that.

***

When Ianto woke, he was surprised to realise he was alone. He had a memory of falling asleep wrapped in someone’s arms. It had been nice, he had felt safe, protected, cared for. It had also been a dream, he realised sadly, because Jack would...

With a start, Ianto realised it had been Jack who had comforted him the previous night and it had been real. He gulped, fighting back a wave of fear, Jack’s embrace had been nothing close to sexual, it had been comforting, caring and Ianto couldn’t help but feel its loss keenly. That was another strange thing, Ianto was aware that he should have shied away from Jack’s touch but, although it was not entirely comforting, nor was it entirely repulsive. In fact, it felt familiar, as if he should have known it almost like... like a lover’s touch.

Ianto shook his head, knowing that was wishful thinking. He had been so long without even a kind touch that the idea that someone might love him was a foreign one. There were faint memories of lovers, but they seemed to belong to another man, someone he’d seen on television. He hardly believed he had been loved, and that he could be loved – especially by someone like Jack - was impossible.

He hugged his knees to his chest, remembering Jack’s tears the night before. Jack didn’t love him; he was merely seeing comfort, still grieving for his lost love – a man who had shared Ianto’s name. Jack’s embrace was comfort to both of them and nothing more – certainly not love, Ianto told himself, climbing out of the bed and pulling his clothes on quickly to avoid the cold. Dressed, he slipped out of the bedroom and into the main room.

The Doctor was sitting before the fire leafing through a book. Jack was nowhere to be seen. Suddenly worried that he had done something wrong the previous night, Ianto took a tentative step forward, waiting for the Doctor to notice him.

He stood there for a couple of minutes before the Doctor glanced over beaming. “Ianto! How long have you been stood there, you should have said something.”

The last was said chidingly as the Doctor placed his book aside and rose, stretching.

“I... you were busy, I didn’t like to disturb,” Ianto stammered, cheeks burning in embarrassment. “I’m sorry.”

The Doctor shook his head. “No need to apologise, you aren’t a disturbance, Ianto. I’m never too busy for you. Next time, just come and sit down,”

Ianto nodded, hating that he never seemed to be able to get anything right. Jack and the Doctor seemed to want the opposite to what previous masters had. Without saying a word he hurried over to perch beside the Doctor, sitting at the very edge of the sofa.

He heard the Doctor sigh a little before taking a seat beside him and glancing over with a smile. “Sleep well last night?”

“Yes,” Ianto replied, before realising that Jack had probably told the Doctor everything. “I mean... I had a nightmare but after that I did.”

He looked away, hoping that the Doctor wouldn’t be too harsh for his lie.

“Yes, Jack said you’d had one. I hope you aren’t dwelling too much on it – it can be the worst thing, that can; it brings them to life. Speaking of which, I was on Barcelona once - the planet, not the city – and there was this little girl. She was making people’s nightmares come to life, completely unintentionally – she was just angry. I helped her convert her power to making dreams come true instead. Of course, that too has to be used sparingly – can’t imagine what the world would come to if every ones dreams came true. Anyway, as I was saying, the worst thing you can do is dwell on your nightmares – they’re more likely to come back if you do.”

“Jack said that the worst ones are the ones most likely to haunt you,” Ianto said quietly.

The Doctor raised an eyebrow but nodded. “That’s because they’re the ones most often dwelled on.” He paused, “Jack said he spoke to you for a little while, I hope he managed to distract you?”

Ianto paused; he hadn’t been told that their conversation the previous night had been at all confidential but he was aware of its personal nature. Unaware how much the Doctor actually knew about Jack’s Ianto and the rest of his team, but aware that the Doctor and Jack were old friends, Ianto decided to take a chance.

“He told me about Ianto – his lover.” Ianto said quietly, not adding anything extra.

 

The Doctor was furious. He had a fair idea that Jack had known how he would react when omitting to tell him the details of their conversation. He glanced back at Ianto, unsure how to react. If he believed Jack’s lover to be an entirely separate man it was going to cause upset and confusion when Ianto learnt the truth – Jack had just made things much more difficult for all of them. He should have avoided mentioning Ianto at all, no matter what the circumstance. Not telling Ianto was one thing, deceiving him was another entirely Of all the...

“You wouldn’t believe the service in this place! I ordered three breakfasts and they’ve given me enough to feed three hundred!” Jack’s voice rang through the small room, cutting the Doctor’s thoughts off. He turned to watch the Captain make his way towards the small dining table and deposit it there, oblivious to the Doctor’s annoyance.

“I’ve got food from across the galaxy and further still – I even managed to find some Danish pastries,” Jack continued, turning to grin at them, eyes landing on Ianto. “Morning, Ianto; you don’t think you could make some of that wonderful coffee, do you – we don’t all look as fabulous as you first thing in the morning without it.”

Ianto blushed, but got to his feet immediately, hurrying over to assist Jack. The Doctor watched as he flicked on the coffee machine, before turning his attention on Jack. This time Jack caught his eye, frowned in confusion before turning away to stand beside Ianto. As the Doctor watched he placed a hand on Ianto’s shoulder, saying something quietly before returning to preparing the food on the table, continuing the conversation over his shoulder.

As he watched the tender moment between Jack and Ianto, he found himself aching to join their friendly chatter. Rising to his feet, he headed towards them. He still intended to berate Jack for misleading Ianto, but it could wait.


	17. Chapter 17

“So what are the plans for today,” Jack asked around a large piece of croissant. “We are going after the Gravlos, aren’t we?”

The Doctor nodded gravely. “I said we’d visit Kate and Tiffany before we left. Kate has some tracking gear for us. We’re going to drive the Gravlos out into the plains where it can hopefully find some others.” He glanced from Jack to Ianto, addressing the young man. “If you don’t feel up to it, of course, you can happily stay here.”

Ianto paled slightly, glancing to Jack then back at the Doctor. “If it isn’t too much trouble, I’d rather come with you. I don’t... I don’t really want to be alone here.”

He bit his lip, looking down at the table, ashamed of his fear.

Jack jumped to his defence. “I’m not leaving you alone, don’t worry. I’m not giving anyone the opportunity to get their hands on you.” He grinned across at Ianto. “Besides, you’ll have a lot more fun with me around.”

Ianto blushed, dropping his gaze. He knew Jack’s ‘anyone’ was referring solely to Talomi, the source of Ianto’s own fears. He had been scared that if Talomi noticed Jack and the Doctor leaving the complex without him he would have wasted no time in seeking him out and taking him away. He hid a small shiver, glancing back up at Jack and smiling gratefully. “Thank you, I don’t want to hold you up though...”

The Doctor opened his mouth to speak, but Jack got in before him. “You won’t.” He shifted his chair around the table, positioning it beside Ianto’s. “You won’t,” he repeated gently, placing an arm around his shoulders, “Because I work to everyone’s strengths when out in the field. You just stay with me and I’ll look after you. I promise.” He gave Ianto a soft smile. “Besides, you’ll be more use to us out there than back here,”

Ianto couldn’t quite understand how he would be of any use when he was never going to be as strong as Jack or as good a shot. He expected that Jack would be constantly watching out for him and putting himself in danger. He knew he would be better staying in the cabin but was terrified of doing so in case someone took advantage of his solitude. Some of his confusion must have shown on his face because Jack laughed, and patted him lightly on the shoulder.

“Trust me, Ianto. I’d much rather you were somewhere I can keep an eye on you. I’ll be much better off if I know where you are and don’t have to worry too much about you.” He frowned, doubtless also seeing the contrary nature of his statement, then laughed. “I’ll be able to keep you out of trouble if I can see you, that’s all I mean. If I can’t I’ll only be fretting.”

Ianto smiled gently, it was a nice to hear that Jack would worry about him. After the previous nights’ events too he was more ready to believe it too. Quite unexpectedly he had found himself becoming more certain that he could – and should – trust Jack. He glanced up at Jack, unnoticed, startled at the grief and sadness he saw in the older man’s eyes. It wasn’t the first time he had noticed but they always came as a shock. He knew Jack had suffered, but his eyes seemed so old, like they had seen more grief and suffering than any man of Jack’s age should have.

It was his eyes in those moments when he thought no one could see that gave Ianto the most reason to trust Jack. He knew it was not impossible for Jack to be cruel, knew that the suffering might become a reason to inflict it upon others, but something inside him told him that it wasn’t the case. Suddenly filled with sadness for the older man and a deep, inexplicable need to offer him some form of comfort, Ianto reached out and placed his hand on Jack’s arm.

When Jack noticed, looking first at the hand before following the arm upwards to meet his gaze, Ianto was at first afraid he had made a grave error. Although Jack often comforted him could he want the same from him? Would he accept comfort from a slave? Ianto swallowed and began to move his hand, only for Jack to capture it in his own and give it a gentle squeeze.

Finding his courage from somewhere, Ianto managed to smile. “I just wanted to say that I... that I do trust you.”

He knew it was partly a lie; he didn’t entirely trust Jack, but he was beginning to. He wasn’t even sure that he was doing the right thing – if Jack knew he trusted him then it would give him an excuse to betray him.

His fears were answered a moment later when Jack smile lit up his entire face. His eyes shone, all sadness and grief dropping away as he squeezed Ianto’s hand tighter. Ianto swallowed, noting how stunning Jack was when he smiled. Unmanned both by Jack and his own thoughts, Ianto tore his gaze away, looking down at his feet. Almost immediately, Jack’s hand cupped his chin, turning his face towards him.

“Thank you,” Jack breathed, fingers caressing Ianto’s cheek. “You have no idea how much that means to me. Thank you.”

Ianto had no idea how to answer that. He looked away from the blue intensity of Jack’s gaze.

“I...” he fumbled for words. Why should his trust affect Jack in any way? It might make their work with the Gravlos easier, but Ianto couldn’t understand why it might be something he had desired. Did he truly want Ianto’s trust, his friendship?

The Doctor cleared his throat, drawing their attention towards him and ending all need for further conversation. “I thought we were discussing the Gravlos?” he stated. “Our plan of action if I remember rightly. I’d like to set out after breakfast, the sooner we can sort this mess out the better.” He looked over at Jack. “I’d like a word before we go.” He glanced to Ianto, hoping Jack caught his meaning, before adding, “In private.”

Jack nodded, frowning slightly, but he said nothing of it, instead choosing to comment on the Doctor’s previous statement. “What’s to discuss? I thought we’d agreed that the three of us were going out on the plains to lead the Gravlos home?” he took a mouthful of his pastry, swallowing it before adding, “I think it’s a good enough plan, we don’t want any confrontation.”

He shrugged, before turning back to his meal.

Ianto didn’t know what the Doctor wished to discuss with Jack, but he knew it was a prospect Jack disliked. He could feel the tension coming of the older man in waves. The Doctor was his usual talkative self throughout the meal, regaling Ianto with stories of past travels. Jack offered the occasional comment but for the most part stayed silent and brooding, no doubt dwelling on whatever it was the Doctor wished to discuss.

***

Jack frowned when the Doctor rose, indicating that they should go into the other room. The Timelord left immediately, leaving Jack frowning after him. If he dared to suggest Ianto should stay behind, Jack intended on giving him a piece of his mind. He would not leave Ianto behind when he had expressed a wish to join them, the consequences be damned. Rising, he glanced at Ianto who had begun to clear the table.

“You don’t have to do that,” he said, passing the Welshman his plate when he reached for it. He frowned, not knowing whether he was doing it from the belief he should do, because he was Jack’s slave, or because he liked things being clean. Ianto would have always jumped to clean up after him and the team, not because he had to do it but because he had no desire to live or work surrounded by mess.

“I don’t mind doing this after I’ve spoken with the Doctor,” he said, feeling a wave of guilt that he had never offered help with the cleaning when Ianto had been doing everything in the hub. He had taken him for granted, never really realising how much he had done for him.

And there was another reason why he couldn’t tell Ianto of his identity. How was he to explain his role at Torchwood? Yes, there was fieldwork and archiving but there was also the cleaning, the dirty jobs that no one else wished to do. Ianto had cleaned, made coffee, ordered takeaway – how would Ianto see that as being anything but a servant? His relationship with Jack would only make that worse.

“It’s ok; I don’t mind doing my share,” Ianto replied, carrying the plates to the sink. “Besides, I can get it done quicker, while you’re talking.” He faltered, glancing to Jack almost nervously. “That is...”

“Thank you,” Jack interrupted, “It would be a great help, I just didn’t want you to think you had to.”

He grinned over at Ianto before turning and heading into the bedroom after the Doctor, closing the door behind him.

The Doctor was staring out the window, at first he didn’t even seem to notice Jack’s arrival, but Jack knew he could hardly have missed it. When the silence became too long Jack decided to speak.

“I’m not leaving him behind, Doctor. He doesn’t want to stay and I can hardly blame him. If you insist on him staying, then you’re going alone.”

He crossed his arms over his chest and leant against the wall, glaring defiantly at the Doctor’s back. He knew this was what the Doctor was annoyed about, but Jack wasn’t prepared to back down. Not this time – he may not have wanted to drag Ianto into danger but nor would he leave him behind, afraid and unprotected.

“I’m not asking you to leave him behind, Jack.” The Doctor turned, frowning at Jack. “I have no issue with Ianto accompanying us. I don’t want him to get hurt or upset any more than you do, and if him coming with us is what he would prefer then he’s welcome.”

Jack blinked, having fully expected a dressing down on dragging Ianto into danger. He lost none of his defensiveness, however, as he asked, “Why the privacy then? I assume it’s something to do with Ianto?”

“I wanted to ask,” the Doctor replied, keeping his voice deliberately low, “Why you think it’s acceptable to keep Ianto in the dark about his true identity yet let him know you had a lover called Ianto?”

“What?” Jack asked, feeling slightly flustered, he unfolded his arms and sank onto the bed. He hadn’t thought there was anything wrong with telling Ianto how much he loved... Ianto. He had thought he was reassuring Ianto that he could love, that he could care and had done so. He thought that it might help Ianto recover his memories, that when he did it would help the self worth he was clearly lacking to know how much he meant to Jack.

“He said you told him about a lover called Ianto last night, someone you’d lost.” The Doctor sighed. “You didn’t mention that he was the lover, you’re still dead set on not telling him, and while I understand your reasons I don’t entirely agree that you’re doing the right thing. That’s beside the point, though - I have to accept it because I know it isn’t my place to tell him.” The Doctor paused, his voice quiet as he took a step closer to Jack. “This is something different though, now, Jack. You’re talking about him as if he was some other person and that isn’t fair. You’re lying to him now, not just avoiding the truth - and what’s more, it’s cruel. You’re telling a man who has spent the last four years of his life being treated as if he’s nothing that you loved another man from Wales who also happened to be called Ianto. Eventually he’s going to wonder if you bought him as a replacement, not because of any kinder reason.”

Jack gazed up at the Doctor, distressed. Truly, he had never realised that what he had done could cause more harm than good. He had never really thought about it, the need to speak to someone about Ianto greater than any form of sense. He dropped his head into his hands, running fingers through his hair as he muttered, “I never looked at it that way.”

“I know,” the Doctor said softly, a look of pity in his gaze, “And I can see why you thought it would be a good thing, I can see that you were blinded by your need for some kind of comfort – but you can’t ask that of Ianto. If you carry on doing it, if you carry on telling him how wonderful your Ianto was, he’s going to doubt every kind word. They’ll not be meant for him but for the man he’s replacing. He might not think it now, but the more you say the more doubts he’ll have in his mind. What’s more, the more you tell him about how beautiful and wonderful he was, the more he’s going to draw comparisons and wonder what it is you see in him. He thinks he’s worthless, Jack, how is it going to make him feel when you talk of Ianto as if he were perfection?”

Jack looked up at the Doctor. “I never meant for him to feel anything other than wanted, loved. He’ll never be a replacement – he is Ianto, even if he never gets his memories back, he’s still my Ianto.”

His voice cracked, as he remembered that Ianto might never be the same again, even with his memories.

“I know that,” the Doctor said. “But he doesn’t, and he doesn’t need – or deserve – this confusion.”

Jack looked at the door, feeling guilty. What the Doctor was saying was right; any comparison Ianto would draw between him and the Ianto of Jack’s stories would not be favourable. He would see the man Jack loved as being everything he wasn’t and it would make him wonder what Jack saw in him. He climbed to his feet, slowly, glancing towards the door.

“I know you’re right,” he admitted, “But I can’t change what’s been done. I can try and make him see he’s important, though. I just...” he shook his head, “I should go back to him, coming?”

The Doctor nodded, reaching the door before Jack. Turning the handle, he glanced back at the Captain and smiled gently. “Next time you need to talk about the past, Jack, I’m here for you – I’ll always be here for you.”

***

Within half an hour, they were heading towards the centre of the complex; the Doctor was striding ahead, Jack keeping Ianto’s slower place. Only when he was certain that the Doctor was out of earshot did he slow his pace further, turning to talk to Ianto. It wasn’t that he minded the Doctor over-hearing but he would have preferred to keep some pretence of privacy.

“I wanted to apologise if I’ve made you feel anything less than wanted,” he said. “I had no ulterior motive in... in doing what I did, and I certainly didn’t do it because I needed a slave. I do want you here, Ianto, I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel any different.”

Ianto frowned, stepping tentatively closer. “Jack, for the last six years all I’ve known is abuse and cruelty. I was there because they wanted a slave and a whore,” he replied in a very small voice. “They never wanted me. They certainly didn’t want me to do or say anything other than what they ordered. You’ve been the first person in all that time who has made me feel wanted – you make me feel like I matter, and I know that isn’t the case but it’s nice. You’re the first person in ages who has treated me like I’m more than a slave or a whore. For some reason you seem to want me here and although I don’t know why, I know it’s not because I do everything for you or warm your bed...” He trailed off, suddenly looking uncomfortable. “I do feel wanted, Jack, please don’t think otherwise.”

Jack glanced around at him, aware that it was possibly the most Ianto had said without prompting. He grinned, catching Ianto’s eye. “I’m glad to hear it,” he said, before sobering. “But I need you to stop with this talk about you not mattering, of course you matter. I don’t want to hear otherwise. As for why I want you here, can I not just want company that isn’t him?” he jerked a thumb at the Doctor, shooting a mock scowl at his back. Leaning in conspiratorially he whispered, “He’s great, but once he gets an idea in his head he doesn’t let go. Not to mention the fact he can’t shut up. I tried to watch a movie with him once, he picked apart every little thing before telling me the ending.”

Clearly, Jack’s whisper hadn’t been quiet enough, as the Doctor laughed. “I would have thought the ending was quite obvious, Jack. It was Titanic, after all.”

“I knew the ship was gonna sink!” Jack complained, “But that isn’t the point!”

He was about to continue when he heard the laughter. It had been quiet and quickly stifled, but it had been laughter and what was more it had come from Ianto. He glanced across at Ianto and grinned, deciding not to say anything in the hope that Ianto would see it as a sign his laughter was welcomed.

***

The infirmary was a long building. Only one storey high with a medicine dispensary, a treatment room and a recovery ward, the infirmary was suited to treating small and non-life-threatening incidents. Anything more serious was transferred to one the of planet’s larger hospitals.

It was almost empty. A young alien girl with a broken arm was talking animatedly to a couple who had to be her parents, an elderly man was sleeping in a bed further down the ward and right at the end was Tiffany, deep in conversation with Kate. The Doctor coughed lightly as they approached, drawing their attention.

“Hey,” Tiffany greeted, glancing to Jack and Ianto. “You alright after yesterday?”

Jack nodded. “Nothing lasting,” he answered. “How are you?”

He gestured to Tiffany’s leg; it had been fractured in the accident and she was wearing a large cast on it. She frowned on hearing the question.

“Not in any pain, thanks to all the pills they have me on,” she replied, “But my leg itches like crazy.” She pulled a face at Kate. “The not moving has got to be worse though, she’s worse than any Doctor.”

Kate laughed, placing a kiss on her girlfriend’s head. “I don’t want you making it worse; you’re doing as the doctor says.” She turned to the Doctor. “I have to thank you all for getting her home, yesterday – I don’t know what I’d have done if I’d lost her...”

She trailed off; Tiffany reached out, and wrapped her hand around Kate’s, giving it a quick squeeze. “You didn’t. I’m alright,” she assured her, gently. “I’m still here.”

Jack had to look away to hide the play of emotions on his face. He had heard Ianto assure him that he was ok, that he was still alive, too many times for the words not to affect him. After a moment he glanced back towards the couple, who seemed to have forgotten they were no longer alone. “You said you had some gear for us?”

Kate and Tiffany broke away startled, looking a little embarrassed. “Yeah,” Kate answered after a moment, “I’ve loaded up a car with everything you might need, tracking gear, other necessaries, a bit of food and extra clothing, just in case. It’s round the back” She pulled a set of keys from her pocket and tossed them to the Doctor. “Which way are you heading?”

“We’ll start at the caves and head out from there,” the Doctor said, catching the keys one-handed. “We’d better get going now, though, before it gets too late.” He grinned at Jack and Ianto. “Ready?”

After a hurried goodbye, and wishes of luck from Kate and Tiffany, the Doctor led the way out of the infirmary. Circling round the back, they found the small car. It was smaller than the others, resembling a bike more than anything else. It had four wheels, but one long thin seat that three passengers could sit astride: one in the separate drivers’ seat and two passengers behind him with the equipment tied to the back.

The Doctor took the drivers’ seat, starting the engine and aiming the sonic screwdriver at the console, bringing up a map that would show any heat signals in the surrounding area.

“Who says you get to drive?” Jack grumbled half-heartedly as he glanced over the back seat with unease. It may have been built for two, but it was small enough that he and Ianto would be in very close proximity. A glance at Ianto told him that he was thinking the same. Knowing that the prospect was likely daunting for the younger man, Jack beckoned him closer. “I know it isn’t the best of options, but it’ll have to do. If you feel uncomfortable at any time, let me know and I’ll do my best to sort it out.”

Ianto nodded and Jack climbed up onto the back of the bike, sitting astride it and making sure there was plenty of room in front of him. After a moment’s hesitation Ianto slid into the seat in front of him, gripping the bars between him and the Doctor with his hands. He was pressed tightly against Jack, with the older man’s hands resting on his waist and Jack doubted he could feel comfortable. Still, Ianto didn’t protest, and when the Doctor began to drive through the complex and Jack’s position didn’t alter, he seemed to relax. Jack breathed a sigh of relief; everything would be so much easier if Ianto stayed relaxed. Minutes later, they had left the complex behind and were speeding over the snow in the direction of the caves.


	18. Chapter 18

“...and then, we were running for our lives. We had no idea where Jack was and Rose was adamant we couldn’t leave him. I never intended to, but that was how she was. Anyway, the guards were after us and we came to a dead end, the only way out through a door, so we go through and there’s Jack – stark naked and tied to the bed. Apparently, he’d been left there by one of the Queen’s daughters for later. You should have seen his face when I told him that the Queen was really a giant praying mantis!” the Doctor chuckled and glanced over his shoulder at Jack. “By the time we’d got him free, he didn’t even wait long enough to find his clothes!”

Jack threw his head back and roared with laughter. It was contagious, Ianto couldn’t help joining in. The Doctor was a fantastic story teller, and his latest was the best so far.

“Alright, alright, I give in,” Jack said, amidst laughter, “I can’t beat that one!”

“I wasn’t aware it was a game,” the Doctor replied. “So you see, Ianto, Jack may claim to be irresistible, but it isn’t always a good thing.”

Jack’s hands tightened their grip on his waist momentarily and Ianto turned to glance up at him. There was nothing on Jack’s face to suggest he had been affected by the Doctor’s words though, only the familiar bright smile that Ianto had begun to suspect Jack often used to hide his true feelings. He was about to say something but was beaten by the Doctor.

“Well, seeing as you’re out of stories, what do you propose we do to catch the Gravlos’ attention? We do need it to follow us, after all.”

Ianto smiled a little, thinking that they had to be the only people in the area who wanted to draw the Gravlos towards them. It would probably mean that it stayed well away; things always happened like that.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of singing, a warm, rich voice that stirred something deep down inside him. It took him a moment to realise that the voice was Jack’s; singing was something he had never imagined from the man. A look at Jack spoke of excitement and adventure, of guts and nerve. Ianto had never considered him a singer, even less a good one. The song was one he vaguely recognised, an old record his grandmother had loved and played often when he was a child. Ianto felt himself relax, Jack’s voice washing over him, giving new emotion and meaning to the half-familiar song.

It was over before Ianto was ready for it to end. He turned to meet Jack’s eyes, shooting him a small smile.

Jack grinned broadly at him. “Bet you didn’t know I could sing?”

“It was... it was beautiful,” Ianto admitted, which seemed to make Jack’s grin widen. “I never thought...”

Jack’s smile softened. “People are always surprised. I only sing for people I l... really like, so count yourself lucky. Anything you’d like me to try?”

Ianto shook his head mutely, stunned by Jack’s words. He had never believed himself to be anything special, yet Jack was talking as if he were. Jack had made no secret of the fact he wanted Ianto around, but to hear it was because Jack liked him – and enough to grant him a rare privilege – was more than he could ever have experienced.

Jack entertained them with a range of songs: his favourite era seemed to be the 1940s but he had a lengthy repertoire of later twentieth century songs and even some he claimed were from the future. After finishing a rather rowdy drinking song that left the Doctor struggling to control his laughter and the bike, Jack let out a sigh. “Something slower, I think,” he said, his fingers moving over Ianto’s hips. “You might know this one, Ianto. It’s from your time, but it was re-released when I was growing up.”

Ianto could have sworn Jack’s voice held a hint of sorrow then, but it was gone as he began to sing. Ianto didn’t know the song, but it was beautiful and poignant, made more so by Jack’s voice. There was a depth of emotion in the song, making Ianto almost certain that it reflected on experience. The more Jack sang the more convinced Ianto became that the emotion reflected some past love – his pain was too palpable to be anything else. Perhaps it was his Ianto that Jack thought of, perhaps something else – it was clear Jack had suffered much hurt in his life but Ianto doubted he would ever be privy to the details.

“Please, remember me,” Jack sang, coming to a close. The last line was more of a whisper, Ianto felt a huff of breath against the back of his neck that might have been a laugh but could just as easily been a sob.

“Jack? Are you alright?”

The Doctor asked the question Ianto had wanted but not dared to. He knew Jack was hurting, could feel his breath on the back of his neck along with a slight brush of hair as Jack bowed his head further.

“I’m fine,” Jack answered. “I’m fine,” he repeated more firmly, lifting his head. “Just got a little dust in my eye, nothing to worry about.”

The way his fingers twitched against Ianto’s sides told a different story though. Ianto squirmed as they tightened; digging into his hips in a way reminiscent of... he shook off the thoughts as Jack relaxed. It hadn’t been about sex or pain; Ianto was almost certain Jack hadn’t even known he had done it.

They continued in silence for a while, Ianto gazing out over the snow and ice that spread into the distance on either side. The pure white landscape was beautiful and at the same time terrifying. There was no sight of civilisation; most likely they were the only people around for miles. If anything were to happen – they would be dead before rescue could find them. It was a chilling and a lonely thought.

He shivered unconsciously, trying to turn his mind from thoughts of death. The movement was enough to stir Jack from his own dark reflections.

“Ianto? Are you cold? I can find you a blanket or something if you are.” Jack began to turn in his seat to rummage in the packs.

“I’m fine,” Ianto replied, waiting until he had turned around again before continuing. “I was just thinking – about how alone we are out here and if anything happens...”

“Don’t,” Jack said. His voice was gentle yet Ianto detected a hint of something else. “Nothing will happen, Ianto,” he assured him, before adding fiercely, “I won’t let it.”

For a moment, Ianto wanted to argue that Jack didn’t know that. Then, he remembered that he was just Jack’s slave, no matter how much Jack denied that he still wouldn’t appreciate him arguing. Jack might have been kind but he had a line that Ianto never wanted to cross. He had seen Jack’s anger and never wanted to be the cause or the target of it. There were many things Jack would put up with but downright disobedience or disagreement would not be stood for, Ianto suspected.

“I’m serious,” Jack said. “Nothing will happen. We’ll be back at the complex before you know it, won’t we Doctor?”

“Well...” the Doctor said, “I’d hope so.” He paused as Jack cleared his throat loudly. “I can’t see any reason why something should go wrong,” he finished. “It’ll be fine, I’m almost sure of it.”

Jack sighed behind him. “We’ll be fine,” he repeated once again. “I’ve been in worse situations than this and come out without even a scratch. All we have to do is find the Gravlos, get it to follow us back to wherever its family is.”

Ianto nodded, feeling a wave of sympathy for the Gravlos. Like him, it was lost and alone, separated from its family and unloved by those that surrounded it. It was far from home, with no one to call friend. It was something Ianto could relate to, even if it were no longer true on all accounts.

Ianto might have still been separate from family and home, he might still have a lingering feeling of loss, but at least Jack had promised to take him back. Jack had been good to him, made him feel wanted and far from alone. Ianto had begun to wonder if, one day, he might call him a friend.

He doubted that would happen though; more likely, Jack would take off with the Doctor to see all of space and time and Ianto would never see him again. For some reason, that made him sad. He knew he didn’t want all of space and time, not yet; he wanted Cardiff, Earth, home. He wanted to remind himself of what it was to be human, to see his family again; he wanted normality. Then he might wonder what else was out there; then time and space might tempt him.

But Jack would never want to stay in Cardiff. Jack was exciting; he got a kick out of adventure. He would never want to give up the TARDIS. Not for Cardiff. Not for Ianto. And that hurt, because while there was no reason why Jack should stay with him or why he would even want to, he understood what Ianto had suffered. No one would believe him back home, not even his family. People who claimed to have been abducted by aliens were laughed at and mocked. How could he tell them what had happened when they would never believe it?

 

“Ianto?” Jack reached out, shaking Ianto’s shoulder gently. They were at the caves and Ianto seemed to be in a world of his own. He wasn’t surprised when Ianto jerked away from his touch but he couldn’t deny that it hurt.

“Jack... I... you...”

Jack smiled at Ianto’s flustered expression, so similar to all the other times he had caused it but for the hint of fear in his eyes. “Startled you, I know. You were a million miles away.” He pointed ahead of them, where the cave mouth opened up before them. “We’re here.” There was silence for a moment while Jack let that sink in. “Want to tell me what you’re worrying about?”

Ianto fidgeted uncomfortably for a moment, glancing down. Jack didn’t try to pressure him, knowing Ianto would tell him in his own time. He had his suspicions but knew that pressing forward would only cause distrust and fear.

“Home,” Ianto supplied finally, confirming Jack’s suspicions.

“Oh?”

“When I go home, they’ll never believe what happened to me,” Ianto said. “If I tell them I was on another planet, they’ll think I’m crazy. How can I talk to them about what happened if I can’t tell them the truth?”

“They’re your family and they love you. You can believe the craziest things from people you love,” Jack told him, smiling a little at all the things he’d told Ianto. All the things Ianto had never questioned simply because he loved and trusted Jack.

“They won’t abandon you, Ianto. They will take care of you and help you heal. They won’t think you’re crazy. In fact, they’ll be so glad to have you back they won’t care where you say you’ve been.”

“The human mind has an amazing capacity to believe in things they’ve never seen,” the Doctor put in. “They’re also very good at ignoring what they don’t understand. Or at least, they pretend to. The fact remains that aliens exist, and they have plenty proof of that in Cardiff. Your family might not openly admit to it, but they will believe you.”

“Couldn’t have put it better myself,” Jack said. He wanted to remind Ianto that he would always have a home with him but he didn’t want to seem like he was trying to sway Ianto towards doing that. Ianto still saw him as a Master and would do anything he wanted, regardless of whether it was ordered or only implied. Jack wanted Ianto with him by choice and not because of some imagined necessity.

“You know, I....”

Jack’s attempts to change the subject were drowned out by a huge roar. He turned his head, spotting the Gravlos stood in the mouth of one of the tunnels. It was watching as the vehicle sped past.

“Whoa, Doctor! I think our big friend found us!” he called out as the Gravlos began to lumber after them. It was surprisingly quick for such a big creature.

The Doctor glanced over his shoulder, his grin growing wild and enthusiastic. “Great! Let’s see how fast this thing can go! Hold on tight!”

The vehicle sped up, bouncing across the ground and away from the Gravlos. The alien seemed neither deterred nor affected by the change in pace, continuing to follow them. The car lurched forward suddenly, knocking them all forward, Jack reached out, sliding his hands around Ianto’s waist in fear that he would fall. Pulling Ianto back against his chest he grinned at his surprised expression.

“Told you I wouldn’t let anything happen,” he said with a grin, loosening his grip on Ianto. To his surprise, Ianto didn’t move immediately and when he did, he didn’t pull away as far as Jack had expected.

They sped through the caves, taking only paths large enough to accommodate the Gravlos. The Doctor was using the map to steer them towards the outside world, but daylight was beginning to seem a distant memory. The caves might have been beautiful, but they sped through so quickly that there was little time to notice. The Gravlos was still following, seeming ever closer, but that was the least of Jack’s worries. He didn’t mind being underground in the open space of the hub but here the corridors were narrow and the air thin. They seemed to be closing in on him as the rode along, and the thought of the ceiling crashing in on them and burying them under tons of rubble was ever present in his mind. He was reminded far too keenly of being buried beneath Cardiff, smothered and crushed by the earth.

“Jack? Are you alright?”

Jack didn’t realise that his breathing had quickened, or that he had given of any other signs of fear until he hear Ianto’s quiet question. He dropped his head forward, cushioning his forehead on Ianto’s shoulder, grateful for him remaining still.

“I’m fine,” he said eventually. “I’ll be better once we’re in the open.” He lifted his head up and glanced around at the cave walls. “Something happened to me a while ago - I’ve not been keen on enclosed spaces since. It’s funny really; I’m more scared of the caves than what’s chasing us.”

For a moment, Ianto stayed silent. Then Jack felt fingers slide between his and a hand squeezing his gently. It was gone as quickly as it had appeared. Too quickly, Jack thought, grabbing at the hand and squeezing it in response.

“Thank you,” he murmured, lessening his hold on Ianto’s hand then so that he could pull it free. Ianto didn’t move, and Jack gave his hand another squeeze.

“He had this cell,” Ianto said quietly. “He called it the Black Cell; he used to lock me in there when I’d done something wrong. It was pitch black and there wasn’t enough room to lie down, or even stand properly. It was meant to make you think about what you’d done, but all I could ever think about was how afraid I was.”

Jack’s fear vanished, replaced by a deep anger. The thought of anyone suffering that was horrific enough but to know someone had been that cruel to Ianto was another thing entirely. A large part of Jack wanted to find those responsible and kill them – even if it meant bringing them back from the dead. Another part reminded him that he was part responsible; if he had gone with Ianto that night he could have saved Ianto, taken his place and saved him years of suffering. He hadn’t been needed that night, but he should have insisted.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, “I’m sorry you had to go through something like that.” I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I’m sorry I didn’t stop it. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you sooner.

In his emotional turmoil, Jack had almost forgotten about the Gravlos. Its roar brought him crashing back to the present. Twisting in his seat he saw that it was getting ever closer. “Doctor!”

“I know!” the Doctor called back, “I can’t go any faster!”

Jack twisted around in his seat as the vehicle turned down another tunnel. He breathed a sigh of relief. Ahead of them was a small window of light: a white glare that could only come from daylight reflecting off snow. He nudged Ianto and pointed it out.

“Nearly out of here. We’ll be back at the complex before you know it. As soon as we’ve got him off our tail,” he jerked his head backwards.

The vehicle bounced about as it raced towards the exit. Jack gripped Ianto tighter, watching the light grow until the vehicle burst from the cave mouth and onto another snowy plain, a wilderness of snow and ice. Snow was falling from the sky, sharp winds blowing it into their faces and making it near impossible to see, but the outline of the Gravlos was still clear: the giant alien chasing after them, seeming to get closer every time Jack glanced back.

The engine spluttered.

Jack felt a wave of panic, glancing over his shoulder at the Gravlos once more. “Doctor? What’s going on?”

The engine spluttered again. “Well,” the Doctor said as the spluttering increased, “It looks like we’re running out of fuel.”

Jack swallowed, his promise to Ianto resounding around his head. He had noticed a canister of fuel on the back of the vehicle before they had left but it would take time to fill the empty tank: time that they didn’t have with the Gravlos right behind them. He pulled one hand away from Ianto’s waist, sliding his Webley from its holster. The Doctor would never approve and he didn’t like it either, but what other choice did they have? He couldn’t let anything happen to Ianto. He wouldn’t. His promise to keep Ianto safe was one he intended to keep.

He gave the hand enclosed in his a quick squeeze. “We’re going to be fine,” he said. “I don’t intend to let anything happen to you.”

He pulled his hand away, reluctant to lose contact with Ianto. Before Ianto could respond the engine cut out without warning. The vehicle rolled another couple of inches then stopped dead.

Behind, the Gravlos roared.


	19. Chapter 19

Jack leapt from the bike, spinning round to fire a round at the Gravlos. He took a couple of steps forward, planting himself deliberately between himself and the others. Only then did he risk a glance back. Ianto was stood hesitantly beside the bike, glancing between Jack and the Doctor as if he was trying to decide who to help. Jack felt a small thrill at that but it was quickly overwhelmed by the fear that Ianto would decide to help him.

“Ianto, help the Doctor!” he called, “I can manage this.” He turned back to the Gravlos, only able to hope that Ianto did as he asked. Firing the gun in the air he moved to the side, attempting to draw the Gravlos away from Ianto and the Doctor. “C’mon, you big brute, over here,” he called, firing another shot into the air. The Gravlos turned and began to follow, its eyes following his every move.

“Come on,” Jack urged him further away, speeding up as he realised that the alien was much faster than him, “Come on, come to me,” he shot another look in the direction of the bike, willing the Doctor to hurry and fix it. He didn’t know how long he would last against the Gravlos and he didn’t want to risk dying only to come back to find Ianto dead and the Doctor regenerating.

He fired the gun into the air again, striding backwards to keep the Gravlos in view. It continued forward, its large strides bringing it ever closer to Jack. Soon it was too close, far too close, and bringing the Webley up, Jack shot it in the arm once more. Roaring, the Gravlos reared back and, to Jack’s horror, turned its attention to the others.

Jack cursed, he had known the bullets would be little more than an irritation to the Gravlos but he hadn’t imagined them to be one so great that it would drive the alien away. Unsure of how to act, how to once again cause a distraction, Jack watched as Ianto glanced up and saw the alien. His eyes widened and he reached out, shaking the Doctor’s arm. It only took a moment for the Timelord to look up and Jack was grateful for the way he instantly moved to put himself between Ianto and the danger.

But that would be no good, the Gravlos would knock the Doctor aside with ease – and Jack wanted to do all he could to prevent the problems regeneration would bring. Without thinking twice, he took a running leap at the Gravlos’ back, His hands tangled in the thick fur and he pulled himself up higher, yanking hard on the fur. It created the desired response; the Gravlos stopped and began thrashing about, trying to dislodge him. Jack moved up its back, pulling on the fur and kicking out with his feet. He felt a wave of guilt at knowing he was causing the Gravlos discomfort, he hadn’t wanted to hurt the creature but it wouldn’t let it hurt his friends.

He cried out in surprise, as the Gravlos’ arm flashed out, sharp claws raking through his arm. Then he was falling, fingers scrabbling for the fur, his mouth opened in a silent scream. The air was knocked from him as he landed, but between gasps for air he managed to roll to his side, searching for his Webley.

It wasn’t there.

He could see it, a dark lump out of his reach. He knew he would never reach it in time, not when every breath was a struggle and even the slightest movement sent pain rippling down his spine. He felt sure he hadn’t done himself any damage when he fell but there was no way of being certain. His arm was bleeding from the deep gouges the Gravlos’ claws had made but other than, and a slight shortness of breath, he was fine.

Flopping back onto his back his eyes widened as the Gravlos reached towards him. Before he could move, claws dug into his calf and he felt himself being lifted into the air. He flailed his arms about, screaming in pain as the Gravlos jerked him about, sharpened claws cutting through his leg.

 

“We should help him,” Ianto said as Jack was lifted into the air. “It will kill him.” The Doctor ignored him, continuing to play with the long, slender tool he carried with him. Ianto stared at him in incomprehension – the Doctor was supposed to be Jack’s friend. Why wouldn’t he help? Ianto knew that he was no match for the alien, he could only hope to distract it from Jack but he knew something had to be done. He didn’t want Jack to die, not after the kindness he had shown him. Jack had made him believe that there were good people in the universe and that not everyone would treat him so cruelly. He stepped aside, trying to move around the Doctor and rush to help Jack but the Doctor simply stepped aside to block his path. When Ianto tried the other way, the Doctor moved with him.

“Please,” Ianto begged the third time. “Let me help him, he’ll die!”

The Doctor glanced up, eyebrow arched, “Jack will be fine, “he said sharply, “If you want to help then sit down and stay out of the way while I try to sort this out.”

“But you aren’t doing anything!” Ianto snapped back. No sooner had the words left his mouth did he realise what he’d said. He’d contradicted the Doctor, argued with him and worse: he’d yelled. He sank down onto the bike, “I’m sorry. I really am, I don’t know what...”

“Ianto, don’t. There’s no need” the Doctor replied, when he glanced up there was a spark in his eye, he grinned. “Gravlos have a low range telepathic field. That’s how they communicate with one another. I’m using the sonic screwdriver to send out a frequency to bring the Gravlos closer, once he gets wind of them, he’ll leave Jack alone. Now, stay there, Jack would never forgive me if I let anything happen to you.”

Ianto nodded, unsure whether or not he should be wary about receiving punishment. They would always have punished him for talking back, more so if he had used that tone. The Doctor had always been different though, kind and gentle and Ianto couldn’t imagine him raising a hand to anyone. The Doctor’s swift change of demeanour was another thing and Ianto wondered if that were a sign his argument would be forgotten. He hoped so. He had no idea where the anger had come from, it had been beaten out of him a long time ago, but it had been strangely refreshing.

“Look, Ianto.” The Doctor said, then gave a small whoop. “It’s working!” Sure enough the Gravlos had stopped shaking Jack up and down and was gazing into the distance and sniffing at the air. “They’re nearby,” the Doctor explained, before adding in an undertone, “come on, leave Jack and go back to your own kind.”

Sure enough, after a few tense moments, the Gravlos released its grip on Jack and gave a loud roar. Then it strode off over the ice in search of the others. The Doctor wrapped his hand around Ianto’s arm, tugging him backwards until the Gravlos was almost indistinguishable from the snow.

“You stay here; I’ll go and help Jack.” The Doctor hurried away before Ianto could argue. Not that he was going to, that was only going to get him into more trouble. Truth be told though, he really wanted to help Jack himself, to make sure he was alright, instead he knelt beside the fuel pump, trying to finish the work the Doctor had begun.

 

Jack groaned as he landed heavily on the ice, pain shooting down his spine. Rolling to one side, he pulled his leg to his chest to try and stem the blood flow from the slashes. His arm was still bleeding, but it was also healing and no longer as much of a concern. He flipped onto his back, holding his breath as the Gravlos strode over him and trying not to think about how close those feet came to squashing him.

He pulled himself upright as the Doctor knelt down beside him. “You alright. Doc?” he asked, “Ianto?”

The Doctor eased an arm around Jack’s waist “lean on me, we need to get your leg bound up.”

Jack grinned, “don’t worry about me, I’ll be...” he stumbled as the Doctor helped him to his feet. The scratches in his leg hurt. The Gravlos had torn muscle and now it was too much to even put pressure on it. He leant against the Doctor, “I’m fine. You didn’t answer my question.” He didn’t really need an answer; he could see Ianto by the bike, watching them approach. But looks could be deceiving; Ianto might not have been as fine as he appeared.

“He’s fine, worried about you,” the Doctor said, “he shouted at me, you know. Thought I wasn’t doing enough t help. He’s never done that before – must be a sign of his confidence improving, hm?”

Jack chuckled, “Ianto always was protective of me. I always worried that he’d take it too far one day and do something stupid like take a bullet for me.” Ianto had been especially protective when it came to the Doctor. When Jack had admitted the story behind his immortality, Ianto had later taken his anger out on the bathroom mirror. Jack had stitched the cuts up himself, finally getting Ianto to admit that it had been the Doctor he wanted to hit for abandoning him.

He grinned up at Ianto as they reached the bike, then sank down onto the bike seat, while the Doctor went around to finish filling the fuel tank. “Is there a med kit on the back, Ianto?” he asked, peeling his coat off. There were four slashes in the arm and a large amount of blood surrounding the tears.

“Great, they always go for the coat. Do they not realise it’s one of a kind?” he complained, folding the coat on the seat beside him and gingerly prodding at the cuts in his arm through his shirts. They were already healing, torn muscle and flesh knitting together. His leg wound was a different matter. The Gravlos’ claws had done much more damage there and it still hurt.

“I could fix it, if you like?” Ianto said, appearing at his side with the med kit. “My Father was a master tailor, I did some work in his shop when I was growing up.”

Jack grinned, taking the med kit from Ianto. “Thanks,” he said, bending to roll the leg of his pants up so he could treat the wounds. The air was cold against his bare leg but it had to be done. The scratches were still bleeding heavily and Jack had no wish to die from blood loss on the return journey. “Only if you don’t mind though, I can always find someone else, when we get back to Cardiff I mean.” He reached for the med kit, but it wasn’t there. Glancing over he saw Ianto already rummaging through it, a bottle of antiseptic and some bandages in his hand.

“You don’t need to do that, Ianto. I can look after myself,” he said, reaching for the med kit. His fingers brushed against Ianto’s as he did and he stilled, raising his eyes to meet Ianto’s.

Ianto blushed and looked down, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to presume – I just thought... it’s easier when someone else does it for you.”

Jack understood. How many times had Ianto had to tend to wounds of his own? How many times had he been forced to look after himself? He released his grip on the med kit. “Alright,” he said, watching as Ianto crouched beside him. Ianto’s hands were gentle, but Jack had to bite his lip to keep from hissing in pain as he cleaned the wounds out. The antiseptic stung but he didn’t want Ianto to know that, suspecting he would only take the blame on himself.

“There,” Ianto said, tying off the bandage and tugging Jack’s trouser leg down to cover it. “Now your arm.” He took a seat beside Jack and took hold of his arm before Jack could stop him. He then turned to watch Ianto peer at the arm in confusion. After a brief hesitation he raised a hand to touch the unbroken skin there. The torn clothing and the blood said that Jack had been wounded but there was no wound to show for it.

“But...” Ianto whispered, “I saw...” He glanced up at Jack, “your arm.”

Jack shrugged, tugging his arm away from Ianto. “I heal fast, anyway – it was only a scratch.” He stopped there, unwilling to say more. He was certain that telling Ianto about his inability to stay dead would only lessen he shock when it did happen – and maybe a shock of that magnitude was all that was needed to bring his memories back. He tugged his coat back on, trying to hide the tears from Ianto.

“It’s nothing to worry about. I’m still human just not as you know it,” He smiled, reaching out to touch Ianto’s arm. He didn’t flinch away, just continued to look at Jack with evident confusion.

The Doctor chose that moment to cut into the conversation, standing up from behind the bike and placing the fuel canister onto the back. “All done, we should have enough to get us back to the complex now, are you two ready?”

“Oh yeah,” replied Jack, placing the med kit behind him and swinging one leg over the seat. “I can’t wait to get some place warm.”

***

They arrived back at the complex to find the main building in uproar. Suited officials were swarming the back of a cart that carried the TARDIS while a man the Doctor recognised as the manager was berating his staff. Kate stood off to one side, clearly waiting for the manager’s attention to fall on her. On the edge of the action a group of guests watched with some interest.

The Doctor pulled the bike to a standstill. “You two go and have some fun, let me deal with this,” he said. “I have a feeling this is all to do with us.” He turned to look at them, “go on, get gone – don’t get into any trouble while I’m not around.”

Jack laughed, climbing off the back of the bike, “well, if you insist – they have a little spa here I’ve been dying to try out.” He held out a hand to Ianto, “coming?”

The Doctor was relieved when Ianto took Jack’s hand and followed him away back the way they had come. He didn’t know what to expect from the complex officials but didn’t want Ianto to suffer their accusations and threats. It was something Jack didn’t need to witness either. Watching them go, he turned back to the main building and strode over.

“I’d appreciate it if you’d leave my ship alone,” he called out to the men surrounding it as he passed. This immediately caught their attention and that of the manager.

“You!” The manager strode over, waving his hands in the air.

The Doctor raised his eyebrows “who? Me?” he pointed to himself.

“What makes you think you have the right to steal one of our vehicles and equipment worth thousands of credits and go gallivanting off like that! I have a good mind to put you under house arrest – you and your accomplices, wherever they are!”

“Firstly,” the Doctor said, “I didn’t steal anything – I merely borrowed it – see, I brought it back,” he grinned at the manager, “you can hardly call it theft when I bring it back. Secondly, you’ll find I used it to get rid of your little problem – although little doesn’t really cover it, does it? Your big problem then, the Gravlos won’t be troubling you any longer”

The manager stared at him, eyes wide. “You killed the beast? You?”

The Doctor shook his head, “no, I didn’t kill it. And it was Gravlos, not a beast. I made it chase me away from here – it’s with its own kind now. He won’t be bothering you any longer. And neither will I, if I can have my ship back, I’ll find my friends and be on my way.”

“Not yet,” the manager said, “I’m afraid we’d like to ask you a few questions first, mister...”

“Doctor. Just Doctor – but really, I’d rather be on my way.” He took a step back, gesturing at the TARDIS.

“I’m afraid it is necessary, Doctor. We won’t be releasing your ship until I’ve had some answers.”

With a heavy sigh, the Doctor nodded, following the manager inside the main building.

 

When the Doctor stepped outside, he was relieved to find Jack and Ianto outside the TARDIS. They were talking to Kate and Tiffany, the latter resting in a wheelchair with her leg still heavily bound. Jack was talking animatedly, no doubt telling them what had happened while Ianto hovered beside him. He had taken the opportunity to get his hair cut, it was now closer to how the Doctor remembered it from the only time he’d seen Ianto before but longer and with a slight curl. It suited him, but the Doctor had to wonder how much Jack had to do with the new style and if it would last long when Ianto regained his memories.

“Ready to go?” he asked as he strode over to them. He grinned at Kate and Tiffany. “I hope we’ve not caused you too many problems,” he said, frowning. “Those supplies turned out to be more necessary than I imagined.”

“I’ve been given a couple of days off, they said it was to do with helping Tiffany out but I think they want to make out they’re doing something.” Kate shrugged, “I don’t mind, you’ve done us a favour really.”

“Well, we’d better be off,” the Doctor said then, grinning across at Jack and Ianto, resting his hand on the TARDIS.

“But your ship’s so small,” Kate exclaimed, “how do you all fit?”

“Oh, it’s quite roomy inside, bigger than it looks,” the Doctor replied, with a grin. “Much bigger”

They said their goodbyes quickly before stepping inside the TARDIS. The temperature was dropping and a light snow beginning to fall, one which none of them wished to suffer for long. Not long after the door closed behind the Doctor, a grinding noise filled the air. And, as Kate and Tiffany watched, the TARDIS faded away.


	20. Chapter 20

Ianto leant against the TARDIS railing and watched as Jack and the Doctor darted around the control panel. They were alive with energy, laughing and joking about the day’s adventures as they moved. It was almost like they had forgotten him, like he was invisible to them. That shouldn’t have mattered; he was used to being invisible. He had learned to use it to his advantage, to escape attention when it would have caused pain. Being ignored was something he had never minded before – but now, with Jack and the Doctor, it hurt.

“Everything alright, Ianto?” Jack leant against the railings beside him. “Listen, we’re going to rest in the time vortex for a day or so then we’ll head back to Cardiff. You OK with that?”

Ianto looked over at him, wondering why Jack was asking. It wasn’t like his opinion would matter. They would hardly change their mind because he wanted to get home a little faster. That was, if they really were serious about taking him home. “That’s fine.”

“We are going back to Cardiff,” Jack said firmly. “I promised, didn’t I?” He smiled hesitantly and took a step closer, holding out a hand to Ianto. “I also remember offering you some lessons in hand-to-hand combat, if you’re still interested?”

Ianto stared at him in confusion. He hadn’t really believed Jack had meant that. He could fight a little, but nothing that would help him against anyone like Jack – not that he would dare fight Jack.

“You don’t have to... it isn’t like...” he began, only for Jack to cut him off with a wave of his hand.

“Do you want me to teach you?” he asked. “If you don’t, just say and I’ll let it go. I just thought you might want to defend yourself against people like Talomi.”

“I do,” Ianto said in a small voice. “I hate being so weak but I can’t fight back. It isn’t right – I’m nothing, they can do what they want to me.”

“You are not nothing, Ianto Jones,” Jack said, “And you are certainly not weak. You survived what they did to you, didn’t you? Believe me when I say you would have to be strong to get through all that and still be who you are.” Jack paused, taking a deep breath and running his fingers through his hair. “They have no right, Ianto; you - and only you – have the right to decide who does what to you. You don’t deserve to be treated like that, no one does.” He sighed, looking up to meet Ianto’s eyes. “Come with me, I have something for you.”

Ianto followed Jack from the console room, trying to hold back his nerves. He didn’t know where they were going or what Jack had for him, but the anger in Jack’s words had barely been concealed. Ianto knew that the anger wasn’t really directed at him, but that didn’t matter. His Masters had often beaten him because they were angry and he was a convenient target.

He chewed on his lip as Jack pushed the door to his bedroom open, holding it open for him to follow. He did so, hesitantly lingering at the foot of the bed. After all he said, Jack couldn’t really want that from him, could he? What did he want?

Jack was rummaging around, pulling open the wardrobe and searching through the pockets of his clothes. He didn’t search for long, pulling out a folded piece of paper and pressing it into Ianto’s hands.

“I think this may be the only way to convince you that you’re not a... my slave,” he said. “Open it up. It’s yours.”

Ianto did, his eyes widening as he saw what Jack had given him. The tears he had struggled to hold back welled up in his eyes. “But... this is...”

“Your deed of ownership. Whoever holds that owns you, right?” Jack asked gently. “Well, it’s yours now. You’re your own man, Ianto.”

Ianto looked down at the crumpled piece of paper. Through his tears he could see the official stamps and knew that this was no joke. He’d heard it said that you could free a slave by presenting him with his deed of ownership. Jack’s words seemed to support that. Was it really true? Had Jack just freed him? His legs gave way beneath him but before he could fall, Jack’s arms were around his waist, lowering him onto the bed.

“Bit of a shock, right?” Jack said, crouching before him. “I’m serious, Ianto. I should have done this immediately, but I’ve always meant what I said. You’re not a slave anymore.”

Ianto met his eyes, fingers closing tight around the deed. “Thank you,” he whispered. “I don’t know how I can make this up to you...”

“Believe in yourself, that’s all I ask,” Jack said, reaching up to wrap his hand about Ianto’s. “Stop thinking you’re nothing, stop thinking that they can do what they want to you. Believe me when I say you are something special.”

Ianto found himself nodding. He hadn’t believed Jack when he had said those words before; he had been told he was worthless too many times to think otherwise. He thought Jack was trying to fool him, to hurt him, but now seeing the emotion in Jack’s eyes he knew that Jack truly believed everything he said.

Jack let his fingers drift over the paper. “This means they can’t do anything to you,” he whispered. “This means you’re a free man.”  
Ianto nodded. He knew he was no longer a slave – but that didn’t change the fact that he had been. He knew he no longer had to follow orders or let people do as they wanted with him; he knew he could fight back – but all of that was just thought. He didn’t know how to fight back; he didn’t know how to refuse. He didn’t think he would ever be brave enough to. No matter how much he tried to believe Jack’s words, he couldn’t. He was still worthless, used and broken. Why would anyone believe anything otherwise? Why would Jack believe that?

He glanced up, catching Jack’s worried gaze and smiled weakly. “I want to believe you, but I can’t. They’ve always told me I’m worthless, that I deserved everything I got – they must be right.”

“They’re not,” Jack said, shifting to sit beside Ianto on the bed. “They were so wrong, Ianto. You’re worth a million of them. And no one deserves to be treated like they treated you – although I would love to give them a taste of their own medicine.” He winced when Ianto flinched away from him. “I’d never hurt you, though, Ianto. You don’t deserve pain.”

Ianto didn’t answer, keeping his eyes glued to the floor. He was remembering all the times they had beaten him because someone else had made them angry. He hadn’t done anything to deserve those beatings. There had been other times when they had caused him pain because they were bored or because they wanted some fun. The only thing he had done to earn such treatment was be their slave.

There had been other reasons. They rarely needed much of an excuse: the food wasn’t cooked right; the chores hadn’t been done fast enough or well enough; he’d smashed a plate; he hadn’t been good enough in bed; he had been too slow, too loud, too lazy. Sometimes, Ianto agreed, their anger had been deserved but for every case where it had there had been more times where it hadn’t.

A sob escaped his throat and he felt himself pulled against Jack’s chest. Jack cradled him there, stroking his fingers through his hair and murmuring soothing words.

“Talk to me, Ianto,” he soothed. Ianto felt him press a kiss to his forehead and lifted his gaze up. He didn’t move from Jack’s arms though, simply shifting his position to be more comfortable.

“Once, they had me scrub the floor of the hallway. I’d just finished when he... the one we met... came home. He walked straight across the hallway in his muddy boots, kicked the bucket of water over and then had me beaten for laziness.” His breath caught in his throat. “They did that a lot; they enjoyed hurting me even when I’d done nothing wrong.”

Jack’s arms tightened around Ianto. “You didn’t deserve it,” he insisted, his voice little more than a whisper. “It’s not going to happen again. You’re not a slave any more – you can stand up to them now.”

“I don’t think I can,” Ianto admitted, hating his own weakness. He kept his gaze down, unwilling to see the disappointment in Jack’s eyes. He didn’t want Jack to be disappointed in him.

“Stand up to them?” Jack asks gently, his hands tracing circles on Ianto’s back. “Sure you can, you just need a little practice. I’ll teach you how to fight your battles, if you’ll let me help. Maybe if you can fight me off it’ll give you the confidence to do it against people who really mean you harm.”

Ianto remained still for a long time and then nodded. “Okay.” He pulled himself free from Jack’s arms and glanced around the room. “In here?”

“No,” Jack shook his head. “There’s a gym - we’ll go there.”

He stood up and held a hand out to Ianto, tugging him to his feet before leading the way out of the bedroom.

 

The gym turned out to be a long, narrow room with various apparatus around the walls and a series of ropes and punching bags hanging from the ceiling. One corner of the room was occupied by a pile of thick mats and behind it were stacked shapes that looked vaguely like targets. Jack frowned as he noticed them.

“I’m surprised they’re here, with the Doctor hating guns.”

He shrugged, pulling out a couple of mats and placing them on the floor before stripping down to his t-shirt and trousers. Ianto followed suit, folding the clothes neatly on one of the benches. Jack smiled at that; from time to time he saw signs that the Ianto he had loved was still in there.

“So, uhm, what do you want me to do?” Ianto asked, taking a step forward, nervously lingering on the edge of the mats.

“Come here,” Jack motioned him forward. “Now, I’m going to come at you slowly at first and tell you what I’m going to do. I won’t hurt you, you needn’t worry. Just react as you think you should and I’ll correct you if I have to.”

He stepped up to Ianto. “Use your instincts; don’t just let me touch you.”

He swung his fist through the air in slow motion, heading for Ianto’s face. He grinned when Ianto raised his arm to block.

“Good, that’s good. See what you make of this.”

He struck out at Ianto’s abdomen, grinning when Ianto twisted aside to dodge the blow. Jack had taught Ianto a lot since he had joined Torchwood and they had been evenly matched before Ianto had been lost to the Rift. At the beginning though, he had been no match for Jack. Somehow, in some recess of his brain, Ianto’s carefully honed fighting instincts had remained intact.

Ianto continued to block and dodge Jack’s attempts to touch him but he only defended, not fighting back. Eventually, Jack came to a standstill, bracing his hands on his hips and smiling.

“Good, you’ve got great instincts – but we need to work on fighting back. If you see an opening then you should use it. You only need to get in one good blow to knock them off balance and then you can run. Ok, let’s run through that again. I’ll do the same routine only a little faster.”

Ianto nodded, once again dodging Jack’s fists. One time, Jack’s knuckles brushed against Ianto’s cheek but Ianto kept going. Stepping backwards and using the opening Jack had made to tap his stomach.

“Good,” Jack said when they had finished. “That would have winded me if you’d used your full strength.” He stepped back sweeping his gaze up to Ianto. “Right, again. Faster this time.”

They worked through the routine three more times before Jack was satisfied. Ianto was getting more hits in - still not as many as he would have liked, but that didn’t matter. All he needed was one well aimed punch and then he could run.

“Ok, you’ve got the hang of that now, but this time I’m not following the routine. I’ll mix things up a little. Full speed though, ready?” He waited until Ianto had nodded his agreement before coming at him, grinning as Ianto dodged away from the first blow. Deciding to try something new, Jack struck out again waiting until Ianto made to block before closing his hand around Ianto’s wrist. He jerked him forward, grabbing his other wrist and holding him still.

The fleeting panic in Ianto’s eyes was enough to tell him he’d made a mistake. Then pain shot through his body as Ianto’s knee found his crotch. He began to double over but before he could Ianto had head-butted him. Jack felt his nose break, the blood dripping onto his lips and hissed in pain. He released Ianto falling to the ground with a hand clutching at each of his injuries and curling in on himself.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Ianto had dropped down beside him, one hand clamped over his mouth in horror. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to. I swear I just...”

“Ianto! Stop!” Jack moaned. “Get me something to stop the bleeding, please.”

Ianto disappeared, returning a moment later with a wad of tissues which Jack immediately pressed to his nose to staunch the bleeding. He could feel the bones in his nose knitting together but the bleeding would last a little longer and the dull throbbing between his legs would last a while. The small, non life-threatening injuries always did heal slower.

The bleeding stopped eventually, Jack prodded his nose experimentally. “No permanent damage, feels just about right,” he said, wincing as his fingers brushed over a sore spot. “That was certainly effective.”

He grinned across at Ianto.

“I’m so sorry...” Ianto began, not glancing up from the floor.

“No damage done. I told you to use your instincts, didn’t I?” Jack laughed, then reaching forward, gingerly tilted Ianto’s chin upwards. “I’m not mad. Honestly, I’m not. It’s my fault – I told you to fight and then startled you.” He grinned. “That was perfect, though. Anyone who attacks you, do that and run – they won’t be coming after you that quickly.”

Ianto managed a weak smile. “I am sorry –I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I know you are,” Jack said, caressing Ianto’s face gently, “But there’s no lasting damage. I heal fast, remember?” He pulled back, climbing to his feet and holding out a hand to help Ianto to his feet. “I think we’ve done enough training for today.”

 

“So, what do you want to do tonight?” Jack asked. He was up to his elbows in warm soapy water scrubbing at one their dinner plates. Having cooked, the Doctor had left them to tidy up, claiming he had a book to finish. Jack knew the real reason, though: the Doctor was trying his hardest to give them time alone – time for Ianto to bond with Jack – and he was incredibly grateful.

“I don’t mind,” Ianto told him. “You can choose – I’ll be happy with anything.”

Jack resisted the urge to sigh. Ianto was improving but he was still stuck in a subservient routine that would be hard to break. Glancing into the soapy water, he said “That’s not what I asked, Ianto. I’m not interested in doing what I want – I want you to choose.”

Distracted, he let the plate he was holding drop into the water with a splash. The soapy water splashed everywhere, down the front of Jack’s shirt, a few drops hitting his face. He blinked in surprise, glancing down to look at himself.

“That’s just great!” he complained, glancing at Ianto about to ask if he minded carrying on while he went to change. The look on Ianto’s face stopped him though; he was barely stopping himself from laughing. He was biting on his lip but his eyes showed amusement. Jack couldn’t stop his own grin.

“So, you think that’s funny, do you?” he asked, raising an eyebrow, one hand creeping towards the sink. He grinned. “Let’s see how you like it.”

He splashed the water at Ianto, grinning at the surprised cry as the water soaked his shirt. Ianto looked down at himself then back at Jack, his expression unreadable. Just as Jack had started to wonder if he hadn’t made a mistake, Ianto laughed. It was a proper laugh, not half hearted or a nervous giggle. Stepping back towards the sink, Jack grabbed one of the clean glasses and dipped it into the sink.

Ianto saw, his eyes widening and took a step back. “Jack... Jack, please.”

It was a plea not to continue, but there was a grin on his face and laughter in his voice so Jack stepped forward. Ianto backtracked quickly, trying to put the table between them but Jack followed. Ianto backed away raising his hands before him as if he could block the water with them.

Jack grinned and increased his speed, dodging a little to one side to stop Ianto retreating to the other side of the table. He grinned triumphantly as he continued to back Ianto up towards the cabinets.

The smile on Ianto’s face faltered as he realised he was backed into a corner. The amusement was still on his face, though, even as Jack advanced on him, trapping him into a corner and upending the glass over his head. He placed the glass on the side behind Ianto and laughed softly. “You’re a little wet.”

Ianto glanced up at him and grinned. “So are you,”

Jack swallowed, finding himself unable to tear his eyes from Ianto. He was soaked, the water dripped from his hair, caught in his eyelashes and slid down his face. Jack followed the path of one bead of water, down Ianto’s face, and over his lips. Jack was swallowed up by an overwhelming urge to kiss Ianto and explain himself later.

A cough from the doorway drew his attention and he turned away, seeing the Doctor stood in the doorway.

“Well, I hope you’re going to clean up in here,” the Doctor said, walking over to the fruit bowl and grabbing a banana. “Honestly, Jack. I leave you for one minute and you get water everywhere.”

Ianto immediately moved away, apologising profusely. Jack watched him go, then leaning forward against the cabinets, let out a heavy sigh as he fought to rein in his emotions. Banishing all thoughts of kissing Ianto from his mind he turned to follow Ianto towards the sink.

 

Later, once they had tidied the kitchen and changed, Jack found himself outside Ianto’s door once again. He knew he was acting like a fool, doing all the chasing when he should have been letting Ianto come to him, but he couldn’t help but worry that if he left it he would lose the progress he had made with Ianto. He tapped on the door, hoping that he wasn’t being too forceful.

Jack smiled at Ianto when he opened the door, leaning in the door frame. “You never did tell me what you wanted to do tonight. If you want to get an early night then I’m fine with that, but I don’t know, we could watch a movie or something, your choice.”

Ianto fussed with the hem of his t shirt. “A film sounds good.”

“Great,” Jack replied. “Come with me then - just wait until you see the television room.”

After a quick detour to the kitchen for coffee and popcorn, Jack pushed open the door to the television room. It was a small, comfortable room, dominated by the huge television screen along one wall and the comfy sofas against the opposite one. Jack placed the tray of snacks on the coffee table and sank into the sofa, passing Ianto the remote as he sat beside him.

“Your choice,” he said, grinning as he remembered the many nights he’d spent in here with Rose. She had loved romance films and – though he had never admitted it – Jack had enjoyed watching them too, and the Doctor had seemed to like picking apart anything historical or science-fiction, no matter what the subject. Ianto was a different story, he knew, with his obsession with James Bond and he half expected to be watching one of those – not the comedy Ianto eventually chose.

“Good choice,” he said as the film began, glancing across at Ianto and trying to ignore the desire to pull him closer, like he had done so many times before. He didn’t move though, Ianto would come to him when he was ready for that. He hoped.

Halfway into the film, Jack felt Ianto’s body slide against him, his head resting on his shoulder. Hardly daring hope, he turned only to be met with disappointment. Ianto had fallen asleep, nothing more.

“Guess you were more exhausted than you made out,” he murmured.

Carefully, trying not to disturb him, Jack moved Ianto down onto the sofa so his head was resting in Jack’s lap. Ianto fussed a little and murmured indistinctly but didn’t wake. He looked so peaceful in his sleep, as if the weights of pain and fear had been taken from his shoulders. Jack couldn’t help but wish for the time to remove them completely.

“I promised to take you home, and I always keep my promises,” he whispered, stroking Ianto’s hair gently. “But I wish you could stay with me a little while longer.”


	21. Chapter 21

The TARDIS landed with a bump. This time Ianto had been prepared and had gripped the railing tightly. He still held on, his knuckles white as he clung to the TARDIS.

“Well,” the Doctor said cheerily, “Cardiff, Earth, twenty-first century – we’re here.”

Ianto nodded and glanced to the door, not moving towards it. He was home. After all these years, he was home. He had dreamt of it for so long but... now he was here he was terrified. He didn’t want to know what had become of Cardiff, his family, his friends. He didn’t want to know how they would react to his return or to what he had become.

Jack seemed to sense his hesitancy; he reached out, drawing him into a hug. Ianto didn’t pull away, burying his face in Jack’s coat. He would miss Jack and the Doctor but he couldn’t stay. He didn’t belong here. He had to leave – so, why was that so hard to do?

“I’m scared,” he admitted, as he pulled out of Jack’s arms. “I don’t think I can do this.”

Jack nodded. “I know you are – but you can do this, Ianto. You’re a braver man than you think.” He glanced over at the Doctor. “We’ll stay here until I get word from you, ok? If things don’t work out or you don’t want to stay then phone me – I’ll come and get you.”

Ianto nodded, digging his fingers into his pocket to where he had put the piece of paper containing Jack’s mobile number. He curled his hand around it like it was some form of life-line or an anchor to... something.

“I will. Will I ever see you again?” he asked, not really sure why it was suddenly so important for him to know that. He didn’t understand why the thought of leaving Jack now hurt so much. True, Jack and the Doctor had been the only people to be kind to him since he had been forced into slavery and he was scared of how his family would react but that didn’t explain why the idea that he might never see Jack again hurt like it did.

Jack nodded. “I imagine so. You’re welcome aboard the TARDIS whenever you want, isn’t that right, Doctor?”

“Oh yes, it’s been a pleasure having you on board, Ianto.” The Doctor stepped forward and placed a hand on Ianto’s arm. “Well, goodbye, Ianto Jones, and good luck.”

Ianto nodded, dropping his gaze for a moment before meeting the Doctor’s gaze again. “Goodbye, and thank you,” he said. “You’ve done so much for me, both of you, and I wanted to thank you.”

He turned back to Jack, surprised by the expression on Jack’s face. If he hadn’t thought the very idea ridiculous, Ianto would have said he looked devastated. He frowned, not understanding and not knowing how to comfort Jack.

That was taken from his hands as Jack stepped forward and gestured to the doorway. “Come on, let’s get you home – I’ll walk you to the end of your street.”

He turned his back on Ianto, heading towards the door. Ianto followed close behind so when Jack pulled the door open Ianto had a perfect view of what lay outside the TARDIS.

It wasn’t Cardiff. In fact, Ianto was pretty certain it wasn’t even Earth. Then his eyes fall on the fountain and he knew.

 

Jack scowled out of the door, cursing the Doctor for getting it wrong again. He didn’t know where they were but it certainly wasn’t Cardiff. They had landed in an alleyway leading from a large plaza that couldn’t have been more different to Earth. The ground was made of a rich red stone, deeper than anything he had ever seen on Earth, and the grass was lemony-yellow in the flowerbeds surrounding the fountain in the plaza’s centre. The fountain was made of something that resembled black marble and depicted a man holding a sword pointed to the air in one hand, a whip in the other. Men and women cowered at his feet, water spilling over their backs as it poured from the sword.

Jack sighed: not Cardiff, not England, not even Earth. He didn’t know how he was going to begin explaining it to Ianto. He was going to think he had been lied to, that everything about his going home had been a great big joke. He turned, frowning as he realised Ianto was staring at something behind him. The fountain, he realised, as he glanced back over his shoulder.

“Ianto?” he began gently, taking a step forward. Ianto was trembling, and tears were forming in his eyes. Casting a worried glance at the Doctor, Jack took another step forward. “Ianto, listen to me - it’s okay.”

“Please,” Ianto whimpered. “Please, not here – please.” He dropped to his knees and grabbed at Jack’s coat, wrapping his hands in the fabric as he began to sob desperately. “Please, don’t take me back there, I couldn’t stand it. I’ll be your slave; I promise I’ll be a good one. I’ll be better and do everything you say. I’ll do anything; just don’t take me back there.”

Jack exchanged a look with the Doctor, pushed the TARDIS door closed behind him and knelt on the floor before Ianto. Reaching out, he pulled Ianto into his arms, against his chest and began rocking him backwards and forwards, rubbing his back and murmuring soothing nothings into his hair.

“What’s going on, Doctor? Where are we?” he demanded, once Ianto’s sobs had quietened a little.

“Well,” the Doctor said, dragging the word out as he rubbed the back of his neck. “We’re in Caerdydd, the largest city on the planet Cymru. According to the TARDIS we’re in the 43rd century. The history of this place is... disturbing to say the least. It was mostly populated by a peaceful race – the Cymraeg – until an army invaded and made all the natives into... well.”

“Slaves,” Jack finished, remembering the statue and Ianto’s terror. This had to be where the Rift had brought him, where he’d been imprisoned and tortured. He hugged Ianto closer to him. “It didn’t stop there, did it?”

The Doctor shook his head. “No, the trade has changed somewhat though. It’s dominated by one man - Parvek, his name is. The Cymraeg culture was destroyed and they exist only in bondage now.”

He shot a glance at Ianto, shaking his head. Jack felt Ianto flinch in his arms and pressed another kiss to his hair. “I’m sorry, Ianto, I’m sorry I ever brought you here,” he said. “I promise I have intention of selling you to them. You’re a free man, remember? I’m not going to take that from you.”

Ianto raised his head, meeting Jack’s gaze. “You’re not?”

He wiped the tears from his face, looking a little embarrassed, Jack had to note.

“Never,” Jack replied with a smile. “I promise.” He brushed away another tear with his thumb then looked up at the Doctor. “Get us out of here. Now.”

“Well,” said the Doctor, “That could be a little problematic. You see, the TARDIS had to override my co-ordinates to get us here and she’s not really supposed to do that.” He grinned at Ianto. “I don’t think she wants you to go home, Ianto – seems she’s taken a liking to you. Anyway, she’s managed to fry a couple of circuits. Nothing I can’t fix, but it’ll take me a few hours at least. Jack, it might be or the best if you and Ianto were to disappear for a few hours. Go and get some lunch and do some shopping, that kind of thing.”

Jack shook his head. “Oh, no way am I taking Ianto out there. We’re staying right here where it’s safe.” He climbed to his feet, dusting himself down and offering Ianto a hand up, noting that the Welshman looked very relieved to hear that. “We’ll just have a coffee and keep out of your way.”

The Doctor shook his head. “If I didn’t know you, I’d almost believe that, Jack. Go on, take Ianto and show him that this planet isn’t entirely terrible. Just stay away from the slavers, I don’t want any trouble.”

Jack scowled, but despite his dismissive words he knew he meant no harm. The Doctor merely wanted some peace and quiet, and in temporarily evicting them from the TARDIS the Doctor was both gaining that and allowing Ianto to face his fears. It was harsh, but Jack understood his motives: if Ianto could walk through a city that gained its income from slavery and be treated as Jack’s equal then he might be able to gain a little confidence. Jack wasn’t entirely sure it would work and knew that there were so many things that could go wrong but it was worth a try.

“Fine, I know where I’m not wanted.” He grinned at Ianto. “Want to go and get some lunch? I promise that’s all it will be – lunch, maybe a little walk if you like.”

Ianto glanced between him and the Doctor before nodding. He looked a little nervous, but much less fearful than he should have been all things considered. This time, when Jack opened the door he stepped through it and, though he looked ready to bolt back to the TARDIS at the first sign of trouble, he walked towards the end of the alley without glancing back.

Jack was at his side, not intending to let Ianto out of sight for even a second. He glanced around in distaste as they entered the plaza. The large fountain was not the only sign of slavery; in fact, Jack had spotted no less than five slaves before he was even fully out of the alleyway. He took a step closer to Ianto. “Stay close, anytime you want to go back just let me know.”

He hovered by Ianto’s side as they made their way across the plaza, heading down one of the least busy streets to search for somewhere to eat. There was a selection of cafes and restaurants with outdoor serving scattered down the street in between little shops but Jack avoided most of these as it was far too clear that the serving staff in the finer restaurants were slaves. It seemed that everywhere they looked they were confronted with some visible sign of the trade.

That alone put Jack on edge and – though he couldn’t begin to imagine what Ianto was feeling – it was coupled with the knowledge that they were being watched. Jack knew he and Ianto were both attractive and was used to having a bit of attention when he went out but this went beyond casual interest. It was hunger.

It had not escaped Jack’s attention that most of the slaves were human while their masters were distinctly alien, but what concerned him more were their accents. He had overheard interactions from the restaurants as they passed them by and it had been difficult not to note the similarities in the slave’s accents to that of the Welsh. The name alone had suggested that Cymru was a Welsh colony, but Jack was becoming even more certain of that fact.

Ianto’s similarities to the local slaves had probably led to his capture. If his being human hadn’t aroused suspicion, all he would have had to do would be open his mouth and ask where he was. No doubt by the time the slavers had realised he wasn’t a local they also knew he was a long way from home and wouldn’t be missed. Jack ground his teeth together, reaching out to run a hand down Ianto’s back.

“Try not to draw too much attention to yourself; act naturally and they’ll not pay too much attention,” he said, knowing that the advice was futile. Being human and clearly not slaves, the attention would be unavoidable.

Ianto was jostled quite roughly into his side then. Jack caught him around the waist, steadying him before turning back to yell at the blue-robed alien that had pushed past him but he was already out of sight. Jack grumbled under his breath, giving Ianto a quick once-over and continued through the street.

They walked down two more streets with no sign of a suitable restaurant. It seemed as if every business owner owned at least one slave, some were better treated than others but none of the humans were free. Trying to fight back a growing wave of anger, Jack stepped in closer to Ianto, wondering exactly how hard it would be to start a rebellion and whether the Doctor would castigate him for doing so. Had Ianto not been beside him he wouldn’t have thought twice about causing trouble, but he couldn’t risk Ianto.

“Jack.”

Ianto’s voice was strained; Jack followed his gaze down the street, grimacing as he saw the blue-robed alien who had jostled them before. He resembled one of the masters but his robes were far more elaborate and belted by a gold chain.

“He’s one of the slavers,” Ianto explained, trying to disguise the tremor in his voice.

Jack nodded, trying not to let on how disturbed he was that a slaver had apparently been trailing them. It could have been a coincidence but Jack had learnt long ago not to put much faith in them. Grabbing Ianto’s hand, Jack pulled him down the street and round a corner before slowing again.

“Keep moving, I want to see if he follows,” he said in a whisper. “But we’re heading back to the TARDIS as quickly as possible. Coming out here was a mistake.” He glanced around. “And as sorry as I am to have to say this, I think you should keep quiet. These people, I think they’re descended from the Welsh – your accent will draw unwanted attention. Unless it’s really urgent, just don’t say anything.”

Ianto nodded and Jack glanced over his shoulder, the slaver was just visible at the end of the street, his blue robes distinguishable from the crowd by their uniqueness. The other masters wore every colour but blue and the slaves were dressed in dull browns and greys. Cursing under his breath he tried to move through the crowd without drawing too much attention to him or Ianto.

When they first rounded the corner, Jack didn’t pay much attention to the blue-uniformed guards. He assumed they were just a regular patrol, out to stop trouble before it happened. It didn’t take long though before Jack realised that the crowd were parting before the guards, their expressions of surprise and curiosity telling him that there were no regular patrols and this one was heading straight for them. Trying to look inconspicuous, Jack grabbed hold of Ianto’s arm and yanked him around, barely taking a step in the opposite direction before spotting the patrol cutting through the crowds to that side.

“Damnit,” he hissed, releasing his grip on Ianto’s arm. There were twenty of them, too many to fight off even if he had been alone. Their only chance would be to run. “Listen to me Ianto, everything will be fine. We’re going to head back to the TARDIS. Stay with me and when I tell you to run don’t even look back – not even if they get me. Find the Doctor and keep yourself safe.”

He didn’t wait for a reply, walking calmly towards the guards. Just briefly he let his fingers curl around Ianto’s in what he hoped was a comforting gesture but then he pulled away. When the guards were just feet away he turned, snapping, “Run, Ianto! Now!”

He grabbed at Ianto’s wrist, pulling him along behind him until they were safely out of the Guards’ reach. They were following, shouting for them to stop, for people to get out of their way but the words were lost in a blur to Jack. The thrill of the chase was upon him, edged by a tiny but of fear for what would happen if they got caught.

“Jack!” Ianto’s cry cut through every other thought, the excitement and thrill faded as he skidded to a halt and span around to face the pursuing guards. His heart sank at what he saw.

Ianto was in the grip of one of the guards. His arms were wrenched behind his back tight, making it difficult to get free. Nevertheless, Jack noticed with a stab of pride that Ianto was struggling and trying to break free from his captor. The fight was futile, however; the guard had the strength Ianto was lacking and almost certainly knew how to control struggling prisoners. Unthinking, Jack whipped out his Webley pointing it at the man who held Ianto.

“Let him go,” he said, lowering his voice and fixing his eye on the man. He had no doubt that he could take the man out without harming Ianto but he wanted to use that as a last resort.

“What do intend to do? Kill us all?” said a soft voice and the slaver stepped into view. He reached up, grabbing Ianto’s chin and turning his face roughly from side to side. “Oh, he really is a fine specimen.”

His fingers dug deeper into Ianto’s flesh. Ianto whimpered and tried to twist away but the guard holding him didn’t relent and Ianto screamed as his arms were wrenched back.

“Hurt him again and I really will kill you,” Jack spat, glancing towards Ianto then back to the slaver training his gun on him. “You have no idea who you’re dealing with. I promise you, you don’t... argh!”

Jack cried out, gun clattering from his hand, as a current shot through his body. He was vaguely aware of someone retrieving his gun but the debilitating pain coursing through his body made it impossible to think of anything else. Then the current was gone and he collapsed to the ground, his whole body afire with pain. Some sort of stun gun, he thought, recognising the throbbing pain at the back of his neck blearily as consciousness began to fade.

The last thing he heard, before everything went black, was Ianto’s terrified voice calling his name.


	22. Chapter 22

When he had seen Jack collapse, Ianto had fought against his captors desperately. He thought that if he could get free he could find the Doctor, like Jack had said; maybe then they would be able to help Jack. His arms were wrenched back as the slaver appeared in his vision. There was a loud crack and Ianto’s head snapped to the side against the force of the slaver’s slap.

“Behave, or you’ll end up like him.”

Ianto glanced to where Jack was being slung over the shoulders of one of the guards. He was unconscious, his body limp, and that scared Ianto. Jack had always been strong, almost indestructible, but now he had been captured as easily as Ianto himself. He stopped fighting, shoulders slumping in defeat.

He barely reacted to the cuffs closing around his wrists or the rough hands pushing him down the street. He walked on numbly; he had thought he was free, started to believe that life was getting better, but now this: the slavers, the punishments, the pain would begin all over again and this time he had brought Jack into it. Much as he was afraid of what the slavers would do to him and where he would end up, he felt a deep guilt that Jack would have to suffer the same.

The guards marched him down the street, not caring for his comfort. Even if Ianto had dared to try to escape he wouldn’t have been given the opportunity. The guard didn’t take him towards the plaza with the fountain and the alleyway that hid the TARDIS; instead he was led in the other direction, along twisting roads and through crowds who all stopped to peer at him. Ianto could feel their gazes on him, watching as he was pulled past.

A dry sob escaped his mouth; they were looking at him like he was worthless, like he was nothing. All those things Jack had said had been lies; they had been kind and Ianto had wanted to believe them but they had been lies none the less. If he had ended up in this position twice, surely he had to be deserving of nothing more than slavery, surely he was nothing, worthless, just like he’d been told. Ianto wanted to believe Jack’s words had been true but everything pointed towards them being nothing more than lies.

They rounded a corner and Ianto chanced a glance up, his heart sinking as he realised where they were. The last time he had seen the three storey mansion he had been chained and led away by his Master. The building had looked imposing then but on his return it looked even more so. He swallowed, trying to push down the terror that clawed at his heart – Jack wouldn’t have been scared, Jack would have...

But Ianto didn’t know what Jack would have done. Jack had always seemed so confident and sure of the situation, and Ianto had gotten used to that. But Jack was unconscious and would be no help for some time. He glanced around, struggling to work out what Jack would have done. He would have... he would have...

Jack would have told him not to worry, told him that they would get out of this alright. He still would when he came to, and then... The answer cut through Ianto’s panic. Jack would need to know where they were. He peered around, trying to memorise their location and the route they had taken. His memory had always been good, he reasoned, but it had been so long since he had needed to remember anything significant, let alone wanted to. Forcing back his fear and disorientation he focussed only on the route, determined to give Jack so assistance if he chose to escape their prison.

He wanted to help Jack; he didn’t want to feel like a burden, dragged along and constantly rescued. He knew he wasn’t as brave or smart as Jack and he knew he never would be, but he could help Jack in other ways; he could prove himself useful.

They didn’t enter the manor by the main gates; instead they headed down a side street. The manor was visible above the walls but after a couple of metres Ianto was jerked to a halt outside a solid wooden gate. The slaver rapped on them twice before they were opened by another man, older than the first but dressed in the same robes. He gave the group a curious glance, lingering on Ianto for a moment longer than the Welshman would have liked before shaking his head and beckoning them inside.

Ianto was led through into a long, narrow passage way; every few metres light shone in from barred windows but it did little to dispel the gloom. When the door slammed shut behind them, Ianto forced down a wave of claustrophobia and concentrated on the route they were taking. He remembered the passageways of the manor’s cells and the stories of people who had got lost in them and never found their way out. He had never been sure whether or not to believe them but he didn’t wish for that to happen to him or Jack if they attempted escape.

And Jack would try and escape. Jack wouldn’t allow himself to be kept here and he had promised Ianto that he wouldn’t leave him to this fate. Jack had been a man of his word so far – well, if one ignored his promise to take Ianto home, but that didn’t seem as if it was Jack’s fault. He had looked as surprised to be here as Ianto.

A couple of lefts and a right turn, then straight on at the next junction. Then right, right, left, right. Ianto added each turning to the list in his head, hoping that he would remember and that it would come in useful. Then the stairs, fifty-four in total, and that might just be trivial but it was a distraction when Ianto needed one. It stopped him from thinking about what was really happening, about the reality that was closing in on every side.

They were brought to a halt outside a door. It was unlocked and Jack was dropped inside. Ianto watched as the guards searched Jack’s unconscious form, stripping him of the strange leather band he wore about his wrist. Satisfied that Jack was unarmed, Ianto received the same treatment before the cuffs were removed and he was shoved inside the cell.

Only when the door closed behind him did the reality hit at full force. With a cry of distress, Ianto backed into a corner, sinking down and wrapping his arms about his knees. He dropped his head, his shoulders shaking. He was locked up again with no escape. They would punish him and sell him to another master. A fearful sob escaped his lips, quickly followed by a second.

He would never get his freedom and sooner rather than later they would take Jack away from him too.

***

Jack hovered on the edge of consciousness. His whole body ached and the hard ground beneath him did little to help. His head pounded too, and someone was making it worse by shouting. Was no one remotely bothered by the fact he was injured and... Ianto. His memories came back in a rush: being shocked, the guards, the slaver. He lurched upwards scanning the room for Ianto.

Ianto was curled up in a corner, pressed into the space between bench and door. His arms were wrapped tightly around his knees and his face buried in them as he sobbed miserably. Jack moved to him immediately, choosing to ignore everything else in the room in favour of Ianto. He crouched down before Ianto, hesitating before placing a hand on his knee.

“Ianto.”

Ianto flinched away, but brought his gaze up. He relaxed visibly as he recognised Jack, uncurling and shifting closer. “Jack,” he whimpered. “Jack.”

Jack pulled him into an embrace, placing a kiss on top of his head in an effort to calm him. “You’re ok, Ianto, you’re okay,” he murmured. “We’ll get out of here you’ll see.”

He stroked his hand up and down Ianto’s back for a moment before gently easing him to his feet and onto the bench he sat beside. Only when Ianto was settled did Jack glance around the room, it was a typical cell: stone walls; a small, barred window that allowed light in; a heavy door with another barred window and serving hatch. There were two benches lying opposite one another and a bucket by the door. Jack had been in better prisons but this wasn’t the worst by far. Still, it infuriated him to see the conditions Ianto had been kept in before.

Sitting on the bench opposite were a man and a woman. Jack cursed himself for not reacting to their presence before; he had ignored his instincts in favour of assisting Ianto and that could have gotten them both killed. He glanced over the pair; the man was holding the woman close and she was holding her head in her arms, her face a grimace of pain.

They were too alike to be lovers; siblings then, Jack decided, maybe even twins. They shared the same almost-white skin and purple hair although the female’s was much longer and done in intricate braids atop her head. Jack couldn’t help but note they were both very good looking but they were not of a species he had met before. Before he could speak, the male had turned to him, blue eyes glowing with such fury.

“Glad to see you can calm him down, I thought he was going to kill us,” he snapped, turning back to the woman and murmuring soothingly to her.

“I don’t suppose you did anything to try and calm him down. Did you? Just shouted at him I bet?” Jack snapped. It was enough that Ianto was terrified of the situation and the slavers he really didn’t need fellow prisoners making it worse. They were meant to be on the same side, after all. He wrapped a comforting arm around Ianto’s shoulders, watching the male tense up opposite and start to pull away from the female.

“Felix,” the female said. “Stop it, calm down.” She pulled herself upright, brushing her hands down her dress. “I’m sorry; he worries something terrible about me - and this place gives him enough reason to.” She turned to glare at Felix, “But really, I could do without you getting angry.”

Jack raised an eyebrow. “You’re empathic?”

If his suspicions were correct that would explain the woman’s pain and Felix’s anger. This place had to be awash with emotions and close proximity to Ianto’s terror would have made it worse.

There was a loud bang outside the cell and Ianto began to shake once again. The woman’s face rippled with pain and she lifted a hand to her brow, confirming Jack’s suspicions. He placed his hands either side of Ianto’s face and forced him to meet his eyes. “Ianto, calm down,” he said firmly. “I need you to calm down, you’re going to be fine. I won’t let anything happen, but if you want to get out of here I need you to stay calm and trust me, okay?”

When Ianto nodded tearfully, Jack smiled, pulling him close and running fingers through Ianto’s hair.

“I can’t stop him being frightened,” Jack said unapologetically. “He has enough reason to be, after all.”

“I understand,” the woman said. “Believe me, I do.”

She shot a glare at Felix, who looked like he was about to say something. In the silence that followed, Jack suspected that some communication was ensuing. He watched suspiciously, holding Ianto close, hands stroking through his hair.

After a moment, Felix turned back to him, glare no less fierce. “You still haven’t introduced yourselves.”

Jack raised an eyebrow; the man might have wanted to protect his sister but Jack couldn’t excuse his callous treatment of Ianto. The man might have helped calm Ianto and in doing so solved his own problems. “Captain Jack Harkness, and this is Ianto Jones.” Jack said. “And who do we have the pleasure of sharing this cell with?”

“I am Clara and this is my twin Felix,” she said. “we are of the Elucidi.”

Jack didn’t need to feign surprise at that. He had heard of the Elucidi, a race with capabilities for incredible psychic ability in the female line. He had long thought that they were a myth or folk tale, like dragons on earth. “The Elucidi died out millennia ago.”

“No,” Clara said, shaking her head, “But that you have heard of us makes this easier to explain. We used our psychic ability to create a sort of shielding around our home planet, to protect ourselves from people who would enslave us. Only Elucidi can enter and leave the atmosphere and that is a rare occurrence in itself.”

Jack nodded, trying to remember every story he had heard about the Elucidi. They had been peaceful despite their power, no doubt a useful addition to any army. It was hardly surprising that they had taken measures to protect themselves that had effectively turned them into a forgotten species. Clara would be sold for a great profit and make whoever bought her incredibly powerful and dangerous.

“And we shouldn’t have left,” Felix cut in. “Especially not you.” Jack recognised the tone in his voice; this was no doubt an old argument. “We both knew how dangerous this place was, but you were set on getting that bloody crystal.”

“We’ve discussed this, Felix,” Clara said with a sigh, rubbing at her temples. “The Council asked me to go and I can hardly be seen to argue with them now. Anyway, that’s beside the point; we have to concentrate on getting out of here.”

She glared at Felix, once again giving Jack the impression that they were having their own private conversation.

“I didn’t think the Elucidi males had any psychic ability,” he commented, glancing down at Ianto. He had calmed now and was peering at the twins with curiosity; he seemed unwilling to move from his position against Jack’s chest though, and Jack was hardly prepared to make him.

When he looked up again, Felix was glaring at him and Clara studying him with a curious expression. She smiled, blushing a little, when she caught his gaze, coughing to clear her throat.

“Felix is something of an anomaly. There are many species that see twins as having something of a link, but for us that is especially true. Our scholars think that is part of why so few twins survive to full term. Felix has no ability of his own while I am highly empathic. Our link means I am able to channel some of the emotions to his mind if they become too much for me, therefore utilising my power to the maximum. It also allows us a small telepathic bond.” She smiled across at Felix, placing her hand over his in a gesture of appeasement. “I could not have survived here without him; there is too much negative emotion in this place. Even so, we must escape soon or it will be the death of us both.”

“Don’t you worry,” Jack said with a grin. “I’ve got a friend, he’ll get us out of here. I can’t wait to see the look on the slaver’s faces when the Doctor catches up with them.”

He looked down at Ianto and grinned, delighted to get a tiny smile in return. The reaction he got from the twins was not the one he had expected. Clara sat up straight and even Felix glanced over. “Did you say the Doctor?” he asked, curiosity creeping into his voice. “The Doctor?”

Clara laughed softly. “It seems like the old stories are coming true for both of us, Captain Harkness. Our Grandfather used to tell us of a man called the Doctor who helped him out of a spot of trouble. Could it be the same man?”

Jack shrugged. “Almost certainly. He does get around – and call me Jack, I insist.” He turned back to Ianto. “You ok, now?”

He released his grip on Ianto as he pulled away from him until the only contact he maintained was his hand in Jack’s.

“The Doctor will come, won’t he?” he asked, his voice shaking a little. “He won’t leave us here.”

Jack shook his head, stroking his free hand down Ianto’s cheek. He didn’t understand where these ideas were coming from. The Doctor had never done anything to suggest he would just abandon them – nothing that this Ianto would know about anyway. It was just Ianto’s fears of being alone and enslaved that were speaking up. It couldn’t be anything else.

“He’ll come,” Jack assured him. “He won’t let us down. Anyway,” he grinned in Ianto’s direction, taking on a light, teasing tone, “Who says I can’t get us out of this? I don’t think you have enough faith in me, Ianto Jones.”

He drew his thumb over Ianto’s cheek, using every ounce of will to drift past the edge of his lips rather than over them. He knew that if he did there would be no going back.

It was getting increasingly difficult for Jack to withstand the desire to kiss Ianto. The more comfortable Ianto seemed around him, the closer he seemed to his old self, the more Jack wanted to give into that temptation. The only thing that held him back was the knowledge that in doing so he could easily loose Ianto forever, he would have to work at Ianto’s speed if he didn’t want to shatter the fragile bond between them. Now Ianto needed a friend, not a lover. He pressed a brief kiss to Ianto’s forehead.

“We’ll get out of here,” he murmured. “I’ll keep you safe. You don’t need to worry.”

He fingered the loose curls at the base of Ianto’s neck, smiling fondly as he remembered the failed attempts at getting Ianto to keep it this length in the past.

“You know, I really like your hair like this, it suits you,” he commented, knowing that it was an obvious change of subject. Ianto’s cheeks reddened and he pulled away slightly, studying the floor. He was clearly troubled by something, a small frown on his face as he chewed on his lip. Jack didn’t press him for answers though, suspecting that Ianto would tell him in his own time. After a moment he did, looking back up to meet Jack’s eyes, the same frown still in place.

“Who looks after you, though?” he asked, voice betraying his concern.

It took every inch of will-power not to kiss him then. No matter how hard it was before, it was a million times harder on seeing and hearing the concern Ianto felt for him. As it was Jack settled for pulling Ianto into his arms and burying his face in his hair trying to find words around the lump in his throat. Ianto wasn’t the man Jack knew, but sometimes familiar aspects of his personality shone through – moments like this that made Jack wonder how Ianto had remained so loving and selfless after all he had suffered.

“How about we look after each other?”

***

“There you go, girl, all done.”

The Doctor slid out from beneath the console and climbed to his feet, caressing the panels as the TARDIS hummed with pleasure.

“Although, really, it’s your own fault,” he continued chidingly. “I didn’t want Ianto to go home either and neither did Jack, but a promise is a promise and you went and made us break it. I know you didn’t like to see them hurting, I didn’t either and I’d have sorted it out myself.”

The TARDIS’ humming took on a tone that one could describe as questioning. The Doctor glared at the console looking mildly affronted.

“I don’t know how! I hadn’t worked that out yet!” He sighed. “You’re going to have to make it up to Ianto, though. You’ve brought up a lot of bad memories – oh, I know you didn’t mean to, but still. Although, you’ve given them a bit longer to heal, too. This could still turn out for the best, because it’ll break Jack’s heart if Ianto doesn’t remember him. Speaking of Jack... I thought they would have been back by now...”

The Doctor hurried over to the screen, getting the TARDIS to locate Jack’s vortex manipulator. When the map flashed up on screen, the Doctor took one look at the accompanying text and sighed.

“I told him to stay out of trouble, but no, he can’t even behave for a few hours! I don’t even want to know what he’s done this time. And now he’s got Ianto into it too, I’ll bet. I’ll have to go and save the day, as usual!”

He shook his head, pulling on his long coat and starting for the exit.

“One of these days I’ll find a companion who doesn’t get into trouble!”


	23. Chapter 23

Ianto was unsure of how long they had been in the cell. The only way of telling the time was by the passage of the sun but Ianto was no expert in that and, as Jack had pointed out, they had no way of knowing whether the hours would correspond to those on Earth. However long it had been, it was too long. The cell was too small for its four inhabitants and if Ianto thought on that for too long it seemed as if the walls were closing in on him. Once or twice the claustrophobia had become too great and he had clung to Jack, shaking through attempts to calm him.

He knew Jack disliked the cell too; he alternated between attempts to comfort Ianto and trying to find a way out. It was too well made, however, and no matter how hard Jack kicked at the door it would not give. Even an attempt by Jack and Felix to barge the door down had ending with nothing but pain.

After that, Ianto had given up hope of escape. If they were to get out it would be with the Doctor’s help. If not, he would be sold into slavery again, maybe to a master worse than Talomi, and all the freedom he had enjoyed with Jack would vanish. What was more, he wouldn’t see Jack or the Doctor again and Jack would be sold too. If Jack ended up enslaved, Ianto knew it would be his fault.

He could tell that Jack wasn’t only on edge because of their small cell. Ianto had suspected that Jack had suffered imprisonment in his life, maybe even torture, and he wouldn’t have been surprised to learn that it preyed on his mind. Something lingered in his eyes, some old memories. Ianto wanted to ask, but it was not his place and now was not the time.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, glancing up at Jack. “This is my fault.”

“No,” Jack answered, shaking his head. “It isn’t. No one is to blame for this, Ianto. And blame doesn’t matter anyway. We’re getting out of here.”

He fell quiet as a loud bang echoed down the corridor followed by footsteps. Ianto froze; he could pick out four sets and they were getting louder and closer. He sprang to his feet, backing away as Jack rose to stand before him.

“What’s going on?” Felix rose to his feet, coming to stand beside Jack. He frowned as the footsteps came to a halt outside their cell to be replaced by a rattling of keys. “Clara, you’d better stay back.”

The panic was rising in Ianto’s chest, clutching his chest and clawing its way up his throat. He pressed himself against the stone wall, squeezing his eyes closed. A cry burst from his throat as someone touched his shoulder and he jerked away.

“Ianto, calm down!” a soft and feminine voice cut through his panic, a calming influence pushing into his mind. He opened his eyes and found Clara beside him; she laid a hand on her arm. “Don’t panic, you’re going to be alright.”

He nodded, feeling a little foolish. The woman – Clara – was an empath. Ianto didn’t fully understand what that was but had got the impression that it was something to do with knowing people’s emotions. She was important, more so than him, and yet she was calm, seemingly unafraid.

The door swung open to reveal four of the guards. One of them took a step forward, glancing around the room. “We’re here for the boy. Hand him over. We better not have any trouble..”

“Well, you’re not having him,” Jack said. Ianto felt a little flicker of fear at the tone of his voice. Jack might only have been protecting him, the same as when he had nearly killed Talomi, but that didn’t mean that Ianto didn’t fear that he might one day have that anger directed towards him.

The guards shot a glance around the room, hesitating on Felix. “Stay out of this Elucidi, if you want to protect your pretty little sister.”

Felix held his hands up, stepping back to Clara’s side and murmuring, “Let’s stay out of this, I can’t risk you.”

The look she gave him was one of anger and she made to step forward only to be pulled backwards by Felix. Her cries of protest blurred into one as Ianto stared at the guards coming towards him.

It all happened too fast; Jack was besieged by two of the guards, heavy set men swinging wooden batons through the air. Ianto cried out as one of the batons connected with Jack’s head and he fell to the ground.

“Jack!”

Ianto tried to rush to his side but before he had even taken a step his arms were grabbed by the two remaining guards. He was shoved up against the wall, arms wrenched behind him and cuffed together. All the while, out of the corner of his eye he could see Jack writhing on the ground, the two guards kicking him and beating him with their clubs. Ianto tried to wrench away from the guards holding him but they were pulling him backwards and out of the room.

“Jack!” he shouted again. “Jack, help me! Please! Let me go, please.”

The two guards beating Jack left the room, closing and locking the door behind him them. Ianto tried to struggle against the men holding him, but couldn’t break free of their hold.

“Ianto!” Jack’s voice echoed down the corridors, punctuated by banging. “Ianto! Let him go you bastards!” Another flurry of banging. “Ianto, hold on, I’m going to find you again!”

As he was dragged downstairs, the banging suddenly ended in a sharp howl. Ianto winced; he seemed to be causing Jack more and more pain since they had met. “Let Jack go, please,” he begged. “He doesn’t deserve this.”

The guards laughed. One of them turned, pushing his face into Ianto’s. “What? So he can get you out of here? I don’t think so.” He pulled back and slapped Ianto, snapping his head to the side. “Now, you’ll shut up if you know what’s good for you.”

***

Jack yelped as his fist connected with one of the metal bars on the door. He drew his hand back, wincing at the reddened flesh. Ianto was gone. They had taken him away and Jack had been unable to help.

“Damnit!” he snapped, kicking the door in temper before whirling around. His eyes narrowed as he spotted Felix. “Some help you are! Letting them just take him like that - didn’t you see how frightened he was?”

He took a step forward, raising his hand to strike him but Clara dodged in his way. She looked exhausted, but the fierce glint in her eyes hadn’t died down.

“Stop it,” she scolded. “You aren’t going to help anyone if you’re bickering.” She glared at each of them in turn, finally settling on Jack. “And for what it’s worth, I know how frightened Ianto was, I could feel it. And though I believe Felix should have helped, I hardly blame him for standing back – you would have done the same for Ianto, would you not?”

“I would have done what was right!” Jack snapped. “I would have helped.”

Clara held his gaze. “You are harder to read than he is but the fact you love him is undeniable. Had our positions been reversed you would have done all it took to protect him.”

“And for a man of less importance,” Felix muttered, glaring at Jack. “If you knew who she was then you would understand how crucial it is that she should survive.”

Jack started forward, only to be held back by Clara once again. He stopped and said, “I don’t care if she’s the Queen of your world - it makes her no more important than Ianto.”

He pulled away, sinking down onto one of the benches, running his hand across his face. He did understand Felix’s actions; he would have surely done the same had he needed to protect Ianto. The situation was difficult though; not only was he worried for Ianto’s sake, determined to protect him from the slavers, he was also scared for himself. If his immortality was discovered then his price would skyrocket, and he risked spending eternity serving some alien – and there would be no hope of escape because he would be watched every second of the day.

“There was nothing you could do.” Clara sat beside him. “They would have taken him whatever you did. And you took quite a beating for it. Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.”

Jack had forgotten the pain, it had seemed unimportant compared to what Ianto was suffering. His whole body throbbed from where he had been beaten, his hand the worst. He climbed to his feet, crossing the room and leaning against the door. The knowledge that he had failed Ianto was worse. He closed his eyes, forcing his emotions to calm.

“Who are you then, if you’re so important,” he asked Clara, glancing at her.

“She’s set to be elected the youngest ever Paramount,” Felix cut in. “She’s easily the most powerful Elucidi on the council.”

He spoke with a deep sense of pride, and Jack raised his eyebrows when Clara flushed. “He speaks the truth. The signs do seem to be in my favour but I am not Paramount yet.”

Jack turned to lean against the door. “And there’s nothing you can do to get out of this cell?”

“I’m sorry.”

Jack nodded, closing his eyes. “No, that isn’t your fault. This is my fault; I should never have brought him here.”

I should never have hired him in the first place. All Torchwood does is cause people pain: him more than most.

He paced over to the window, peering out at the courtyard below them. The view didn’t overlook the alley however, so Jack couldn’t tell if Ianto had been bought and taken away. He needed to get out of the cell, find the Doctor and then somehow find Ianto. He didn’t care how, or how long it took; he would find Ianto again. He had promised Ianto that he would protect him, and he didn’t intend to let him down.

“Don’t blame yourself,” Clara said, moving to stand beside him. “I’m sure he doesn’t. Ianto’s fear was the strongest emotion, but that didn’t mean there weren’t others. There was no blame, but there was anger and mainly guilt – but also love. It was so tiny that he wouldn’t notice it or recognise it for what it was, but it was there. It flared a little brighter every time he looked at you. He doesn’t know it yet, but I think he’s falling for you.”

Jack let that little bit of information sink in. Ianto was starting to love him; that could only be good news, but at the same time it made the feeling that he had let Ianto down more prominent. If he had allowed Ianto to believe in love once again only to have it snatched away then it would make it even harder the second time. If there was a second time; before he could do that he needed to get out of this cell.

“We’re going to get out of here,” he said to no one in particular. “And I’ll kill anyone who hurts Ianto.”

“And how are we going to do that?” Felix cut in. “The door isn’t going to open no matter how much you hit it.”

“The Doctor,” Jack answered. “He’ll know we’re missing by now. He’ll get us out.”

He said the last with a confidence which wasn’t wholly felt. He didn’t really think the Doctor would abandon him and Ianto to this, he would think the idea horrendous, and whatever he might do he would never leave his companions to such treatment. The reassurances didn’t mean he was convinced entirely though; after all, he had once believed the Doctor would never abandon him.

He could forgive the Doctor leaving him here, but if he could just abandon Ianto... that was something Jack would never accept.

He had to believe that the Doctor would come for them because the alternative was just too horrible.

***

Ianto’s eyes widened as he was led through a doorway and into a light, carpeted corridor. This was clearly the living area of the manor and no expense had been spared in the decoration. The lavish surroundings were a world apart from the cold cells he had been taken from. As the guards ushered him down the corridor, they passed ornate sculptures, beautiful works of art and portraits of men and women draped in jewels and robes. It was enough to make Ianto feel a little ill; it was repulsive that this luxury had been bought on the back of slavery, of stripping men and women of their freedom and everything else they held dear.

There was no time to dwell on the matter however as Ianto was brought to a halt before a wooden door and one of the guards knocked twice. A moment passed then the guard pushed open the door and Ianto was led into a study. The opulence was not spared in this room, and the five men gathered in it were draped in expensive looking robes and chains of gold studded with jewels. None were quite as decorated as the grossly obese man who sat on the large sofa, a man Ianto recognised as Parvek, the owner of the establishment. Ianto had met Parvek once before; it had been in this very room that he had been sold and Parvek had overseen the transaction. The man had grinned across at Ianto and told him that he had been very close to becoming one of his own slaves before receiving the offer.

As he was pushed into the centre of the room, flanked by two of the guards Ianto could feel every pair of eyes in the room on him. He glanced around, finally meeting Parvek’s gaze. He could only hold it for a moment before flinching and gazing at the floor. The look in the man’s eyes had been of such disgust that it had reminded Ianto of all that he had felt when he had been a slave. Worthless, whore, nothing, pathetic, slut...

Except... that wasn’t true anymore. Ianto was a free man and though he didn’t believe Jack’s words of him being something special he couldn’t quite accept that he was everything the slavers had told him. With Jack he had been something different – he had been better. Trying to maintain that belief in the face of the slavers was something different.

The babble of whispers surrounding him was loud and confusing. Ianto couldn’t work out what was being said but he recognised some of the slavers, the men from his nightmares come to life. Most of the men standing in the room had punished or hurt him at some stage. Though the words were indistinguishable, Ianto could guess what they were talking about: him.

“Silence!” said Parvek suddenly. His eyes had not left Ianto once. “Bring him closer.”

The two guards grabbed Ianto’s arms and frogmarched him towards Parvek, forcing him to his knees before the alien. He leant forward, breathing hot, foul-smelling breath over Ianto’s face, lifting a hand to tilt his head this way and that before pulling back and glancing around the room.

“It is him; I’d recognise him anywhere with all the trouble he caused us.” He reached out to stroke his fingers down Ianto’s cheek. “And I never forget a trouble-maker.”

It was all Ianto could do not to flinch away from the touch, the horrid breath on his face but he stayed still, hands curling into fists at his sides. There would be no point in fighting. He would never escape and doing so would only get him punished.

The whispering started again: the slavers were clamouring to be heard, to agree that they recognised Ianto. Parvek held up a hand to silence them again, before fixing one of them with a glare. “Fetch me the scanner; we’ll settle this for sure.”

The slaver nodded, hurrying across the room to a desk, Ianto saw him rummage in the drawer for a few seconds before producing an instrument; it was carried over to Parvek and presented to him giving Ianto a good view of the item. It was metal and contained a small screen a series of buttons. It was the only chance he got to look before Parvek had pushed his head down to expose his neck, running the instrument over his skin.

The machine bleeped and Parkek released Ianto, pushing him backwards not gently. “We were right,” Parvek said, glancing at the screen. “It is him. Ianto Jones, property of the Talomi estate. We shall have to contact them then. I won’t have them accusing us of theft. That would be bad for business.” He passed the scanner over to one of the slavers. “Contact them, tell them to collect him.”

At those words the fight went out of Ianto. They were sending him back to Talomi. He would be forced back into his old life as if nothing had changed and there would be no hope of escape this time, not even a chance of seeing Jack again.

The thoughts had barely sunk in before Ianto was pulled to his knees once more; he flinched as Parvek’s gaze fell on him once again.

“How did you escape?”

Ianto dropped his gaze at the question, knowing the truth would be taken as a lie and a lie would earn him punishment. In the end he settled for the truth; he had been raised to tell the truth, after all.

“I was sold when my master died,” he explained. “My next master freed me.”

Parvek shook with laughter. “Why would anyone free a pretty thing like you?” he asked, voice hardening suddenly. “Now, tell me the truth.”

“I did.” Ianto replied, dropping his gaze. “He did free me. He gave me the deed of ownership.”

Parvek’s disbelief was clear in the tone of his voice. “If you expect me to believe your lies you had better find better ones. Not that it matters, your master will be sure to tell us the truth of it when he arrives. For now, however, it falls to us to punish your insolence.”

Ianto’s gaze snapped upwards on hearing the last few words. He shook his head desperately.

“Please, no!” he said, breaking free of the guards hold and staggering to his feet. “Let me go, please!”

He sobbed, tears springing to his eyes as the guards seized him again. He had known it was all too good to last; he had known it was going to end in tears. He was a slave and nothing would change that, and deep down he had known that even if he had started to believe differently. He should never have listened to Jack. He should never have even begun to hope that things might change for the better.

Happy endings for people like him only ever happened in the stories. Never in real life.


	24. Chapter 24

The Doctor knew he was being followed. The alien in the blue robes was loitering at a stall, trying to look unobtrusive and succeeding in anything but, thanks to his robes. The Doctor had only his suspicions as to the alien’s role, but none of them were good and most were connected to Jack and Ianto’s disappearance. He had also noticed the overwhelming proportion of the slaves were human.

“I should never have sent them out here,” he muttered under his breath. “It’s bad enough that Jack has a knack of finding trouble but I don’t need it chasing them too.”

He glanced over at the blue robed alien, catching it in the act of watching him. Deciding it was time to take the initiative and because he was never going to find his companions without some assistance, he forced on a bright, overly-enthusiastic smile and headed over to the alien.

“You look like a chap who knows the ins and outs of this brilliant place!” he said, picking up an item on the stall they were stood beside. “It really is brilliant, so much life and history – and I love history, don’t you? All those people and their lives and what they did – the normal people as much as the important ones, you know?” He didn’t give the man time to answer, grinning at his slightly bemused expression. “Anyway, I’m not from these parts, I’m on rather urgent business actually. Here to see Parvek - long story, important business to discuss with him and all that before I can go home. The problem is, I don’t know where to find him. I was thinking a good, honest man might know?”

The alien looked him up and down. “And who might you be?”

The Doctor rummaged in his pocket for his psychic paper. “Oh that was terribly rude of me, wasn’t it?”

He brandished the paper at the alien with a grin, watching his eyes widen minutely.

“Right this way, sir, I’ll take you to Parvek’s immediately,” he said, before turning away and leading the Doctor through the streets. When his back was turned, the Doctor glanced at his psychic paper out of curiosity.

“Doctor John Smith, Chief Medic, Quality Standards Agency,” he muttered, raising an eyebrow. “Oh well, have to work with what I’m given, I suppose.” He strode forward, falling into step beside the alien. “Yes, I’ve been sent to check over your goods, ensure they’re all in good health, y’know. You can’t go selling slaves if they’re not in good condition, not with the laws these days – there are men out there who would ruin you given half the chance.”

Unfortunately for you, I’m one of them and I fully intend on doing it if you’ve hurt my friends.

“So, how many do you have?” the Doctor asked. “I only ask because I want to know how long it’ll take.”

The alien shot him a look. “I don’t have access to the records. You’ll have to direct your questions to Parvek when we get there.”

He sped up, increasing his pace a little so the Doctor had to jog to keep up. “Come on now, you can tell me; how do you deal with these slaves?”

The alien looked him up and down, eyes narrowed. “Maybe you should ask Parvek your questions. Are you trying to close us down? He won’t appreciate it if you are!”

“Oh no, nothing like that!” the Doctor said. “My bosses sent me to do a quick check, a precaution to stop you getting fined millions. And when I say quick I mean really nippy. I’ve got a meeting with my own bosses tomorrow and they won’t be happy if I miss that! I’ll be in and out – won’t even know I was there!”

He glanced up as they rounded a corner heading down a street that was dominated by an imposing, three storey house. The Doctor raised an eyebrow as he was led through the gates, across a courtyard and into the house into an ornately decorated reception room. Fine artwork decorated the walls and the room was surrounded by plush armchairs and sofas.

“Please take a seat, Sir,” the slaver said. “I’ll go and tell Parvek you’re here. Someone will be with you in a moment or two.”

He nodded in the Doctor’s direction and hurried out of the room. The Doctor watched him go, glancing around the room in curiosity before sinking into one of the chairs and waiting.

He didn’t have to wait for long. The slaver returned only five minutes later. “I’m sorry, Sir. Parvek is dealing with an unfortunate matter at the moment - one of our slaves causing trouble. He’ll be with you as soon as it’s rectified.”

The Doctor nodded, trying to keep his concern from showing on his face. “That’s fine,” he said. “I hope you get the matter sorted.” He waited until the man had left the room before running his hand through his hair in frustration. “Oh Jack, what have you done now?”

***

Ianto tried to struggle as the guards led him through the corridors but their grip on him was too strong. He knew what was in store for him, knew the pain it would cause and he had no wish to experience that again. It was only as they pulled him down a staircase that he realised he had no idea of the way out and failure to escape would only make the punishment worse both from the slavers and Talomi.

Ianto felt a chill go through him at that name. He wanted nothing less than to return to that man. He would make his life hell for Jack’s actions, but more so if he attempted to escape again. Jack was another reason why he couldn’t just run. After all the kindness and care Jack had given him, Ianto would have had to be heartless to abandon him to slavery.

The few remaining thoughts fled his mind as they stepped outside into a large courtyard. Ianto froze as he spotted the large wooden pole that he was being dragged towards. The pole stood higher than him and at the top was a heavy metal ring. He began to struggle against the guards, the reality of what was happening hitting him all at once. One of the guards cuffed him around the back of the head and he cried out in pain and fear, struggling harder as they pushed him up against the wooden post. Two of the guards held him there while a third dragged his hands above his head and bound them to the metal ring. Tears spilled onto Ianto’s cheeks as hands tore his t-shirt open, leaving his back exposed to whatever tool they would opt for.

He could hear the noise of the crowd gathering to watch, his face burning in humiliation as he heard some of the things they were saying. They were laughing at him, mocking him. He knew by the hush of the crowd that Parvek had arrived, wishing to watch this punishment for himself. He had done that before, enjoying the cries and groans of the slaves more than Ianto had known anyone to.

“Ianto!”

That was Jack’s voice, wasn’t it? Ianto tried to twist his head around to see but the ropes around his wrists held him so tightly that movement away from the pole hurt. Jack was yelling, the words lost in the noise from the crowd drowning them out. It sounded as if Jack wanted them to let him take Ianto’s place. That was ridiculous. Why would Jack take punishment just to save Ianto from it? Ianto couldn’t understand that. The noise from the crowd grew louder; Ianto tensed as he sensed a man step up behind him. He curled his fingers around the ring, trying to brace himself for the expected blow.

The next thing he knew was pain. Sharp, searing pain as a long whip struck his flesh. He screamed, sobbing out a breath as the pain spread across his back, forcing him to lean heavily against the pole. It hurt, more because of the fact that he had thought this was over. He had never imagined experiencing such cruelty again. He had thought that with Jack, life would be better and it had been but now this. Blood pounded in his ears, almost drowning out the sound of his own cries, the laughter from the crowd and somewhere Jack’s shouts.

After what seemed like forever the flogging stopped. When his hands were untied, Ianto sank to his knees and rested his head against the wood. His back throbbed with pain and now the tears had started he couldn’t hold them back; the same was true of the sobs that tore from his throat. Slowly he pulled himself to his feet, managing to stagger a couple of steps before collapsing again. He had no energy, no strength to pull himself up. The crowd were mocking him and that was enough to make him attempt to rise once more. Pushing himself onto his arms he was alarmed when his head began to spin, vision blurring until he recognised the beginnings of unconsciousness. With some relief let himself drift into the welcoming blackness.

***

Jack’s mood had blackened with every moment he had spent locked away with no clue to Ianto’s fate. He alternated between a misery in which he condemned himself for letting this happen to Ianto and a terrifying anger that had him banging on the door and shouting obscenities at the slavers. Currently he was seated on one of the benches, running his thumb over his bruised knuckles.

The minutes were passing and Jack had no real idea how long Ianto had been with the slavers or what they were doing to him. He could have been sold already and Jack would be none the wiser. All he knew was that Ianto had been terrified and that he had failed to protect him.

Felix and Clara had remained quiet, learning after Jack’s second rage filled attempt at breaking the door down that it was best to let his anger fade naturally. Jack was glad of that; though he knew his mood swings could not be having a good affect on the young empath he couldn’t bring himself to care. Ianto was suffering again and it was his fault. He was beginning to wonder if his curse went beyond his immortality. Where ever he went he always seemed to cause people harm. The people he loved invariably ended up suffering and usually because of him, either by his direct actions or as a result of them. Sometimes, as in Ianto’s case, it was just a case of them being near him. It was little surprise that the Doctor ran from him twice; he was cursed to live forever and destroy the people unfortunate enough to love him.

A cry of fear and pain drifted through the window from the courtyard below cutting through Jack’s chain of thought. He leapt to his feet immediately, rushing to the window and peering through it. What he saw made his anger flare up once more: Ianto was struggling against two guards who were pushing him face first against a tall wooden pole. While they held him still a third guard pulled his arms above his head tying them to a metal hoop used for such a purpose. Taking Ianto’s flimsy t-shirt in both hands he tore it down the middle, exposing Ianto’s back.

Slavers and guards were already gathering in the courtyard, Jack could hear their curious voices even if he couldn’t distinguish the words. There was laughter mixed with the words and Jack’s fists curled around the bars until his knuckles turned white. The crowd drew quiet as a litter was carried into the courtyard, carried by four slaves, and when the curtain was pulled back Jack could make out a grossly fat alien leaning on a pile of cushions. He switched his gaze back to Ianto.

“Ianto!” he shouted, tugging at the bars in an effort to dislodge them. He knew the window would be too small to climb through but the bars could make effective weapons. “Ianto, hold on.”

The bars wouldn’t move; they were rooted deeply into the rock. Jack turned his attention to the slavers.

“Let him go - you want to hurt someone then hurt me. I’ll take it for him – or are you not man enough to deal with me?”

The curses grew louder and more profane as one of the guards produced a long leathery whip from his belt and stepped closer to Ianto. As Jack watched, the whip flew through the air, striking Ianto’s back with a sickening crack. He heard Ianto’s pained scream, the sobbing as he leant heavily against the pole. The blood was a jarring bright red against his pale skin, his cries overly loud as they reached Jack’s ears. The fact Ianto was being flogged was worsened by Jack’s utter helplessness. He’d been through this before, watching enemies hurt people he cared for, but it never got better. In fact, this time it was somehow worse; maybe it was because Ianto wasn’t his usual self, perhaps because Ianto might believe he deserved it or not see it as the atrocity it was, perhaps because it would be a set back after all the progress they had made.

“Stop it!” Jack screamed as the flogging continued. “Let him go, please, let him go!”

He remained ignored, unsure if anyone could even hear him but desperately hoping that Ianto could. He felt the tears prick at his eyes every time Ianto cried out in agony or let slip a sob, knowing how much pain Ianto would be in and hating that he couldn’t stop it.

After twenty lashes - although Jack would have sworn it seemed more - the guards stepped back, untying Ianto’s hands and letting him drop to the floor. Jack watched dejectedly as Ianto tried to struggle to his feet only to collapse, sobbing, to the floor. The gathered crowd laughed at his struggle calling out remarks that Jack was glad he couldn’t hear. When Ianto sank to the ground for a second time, not moving even when one of the guards kicked him in the ribs, Jack’s first reaction was terror.

“Ianto!” he called, before muttering quieter, “Please Ianto, please be ok.”

“He’s not dead.”

Jack glanced over at Clara, ready to demand how she knew that. Then he remembered she was empathic. Looking at her, it was clear she was in a great deal of pain. She lay listlessly in Felix’s arms, eyes half closed. “He’s in a great deal of pain and he’s afraid but he’s alive.”

“Thank you,” Jack responded, glancing back to the window, feeling a little more relieved. At least unconscious Ianto would not be in pain and wouldn’t know their torments. As he watched, the crowd began to disperse, the slaves lifting up the litter and carrying their master from the arena, Ianto was lifted up and carried from the arena, swung over one of the guard’s shoulders without a care for his injuries.

Jack turned away, sinking onto one of the benches and dropping his head into his hands. “Why would they do that?” he muttered. “Why would they want to hurt him?”

“Because they honestly feel like they’re better than us,” Clara said. “I only get contempt and disgust when they come near; they think we’re nothing. They think all were good for is being used.”

Jack nodded. “They make these people believe that too. That has to be a worse crime.” He ran his hand through his hair and leant back against the wall closing him eyes. He muttered, “I can’t let him believe that again.”

The now familiar sound of footsteps came from the corridor. Jack leapt to his feet as the door rattled; it swung open to reveal the guards. The one carrying Ianto dropped him to the ground just inside the cell before slamming it shut. Wasting no time, Jack dropped down beside Ianto, pulling him half onto his knee to look at the wounds. They were deep and bleeding heavily. Jack knew that in this cell the chances of infection were high; pulling off his coat he wrapped it around Ianto.

“Come on, Doctor, we need you right now,” he muttered, stroking a hand over Ianto’s face. Much to his relief, Ianto stirred, opening his eyes and immediately jerked away. Jack grabbed hold of him, refusing to let him fall. In his weakened condition Ianto would not get far and would only injure himself further.

“Ianto, calm down,” he said keeping his touch gentle and non-threatening. “Ianto, it’s Jack. You’re safe. Calm down.”

Gradually, recognition dawned in Ianto’s eyes and he glanced up at Jack, before leaning against his chest, his fist clenching in his shirt.

“Jack,” he sobbed. “They’re going to give me back to Talomi. They’ve contacted him. I...” his words gave way and he clung to Jack more desperately. “I don’t want to go back; I want to stay with you.”

Jack dropped his chin on top of Ianto’s head, rubbing his hand up and down Ianto’s arm. “You will, the Doctor will come for us, and even if we are separated I won’t stop searching until I’ve found you. I promise.” He placed a kiss on top of Ianto’s head. “Your back?”

“It hurts,” Ianto said. “I’ve had worse though.”

Jack said nothing to that, wishing that it was the first time Ianto had ever suffered such a flogging. There was nothing that could be done to change that though. “When the Doctor finds us he’ll be able to sort it out - him and the TARDIS. Don’t you worry.”

Jack knew that with fears of abandonment and infection he was doing enough worrying for the both of them.


	25. Chapter 25

Jack had moved himself and Ianto onto one of the benches the next time footsteps sounded along the corridor outside. Instinctively, Jack pulled Ianto closer to him, fearing that the slavers had come to take him away to Talomi. As if sensing the disturbance, Ianto stirred from his doze and woke up.

“Jack, what is it?”

Jack hushed him, watching the door warily. The hatch at the base slid open and two trays were pushed through, one after the other. The first tray bore a jug of water and plastic cups for each of them, plates of bread and meat, and a small selection of fruit. Everything, Jack noticed, that would keep the slaves in good condition without being too fine. On the second tray was a bowl of water and some cloths and bandages. Jack looked between the two trays before nudging Ianto upwards.

“Let me look at your wounds then we can eat.”

He helped Ianto pull the coat off and folded it up to pillow his head, guiding him to lie along the bench. When Ianto was comfy, he pulled the tray over. He hesitated before dipping his hand into the water, intending on tasting some to ensure it wasn’t poisoned. He drew it out immediately with a hiss, shaking his hand he winced as the cuts on his knuckles stung.

“Malian Crystals,” he snapped. “They’ve laced it with Malian Crystals.”

Far from poisonous, Malian Crystals actually aided healing by preventing infection. They caused such excruciating pain, however, that only a sadist would use them. For someone with Ianto’s wounds, the pain would be unimaginable.

“What are they?” Ianto asked, tilting his head to look at Jack, a little bit of fear in his eyes. Jack couldn’t hold his gaze as he picked up the cloth.

“They will stop infection, but it’s going to hurt a lot. It’s like getting salt in a wound – but so much worse.” He reached out, wrapping his hand around Ianto’s and squeezing it gently. “I’m so sorry, Ianto, but I have to do this.” The look on Ianto’s face almost broke his heart as the young man realised he would have to endure more pain. “I wish there was another way but there really isn’t. I don’t want your wounds becoming infected and they will if I don’t treat them.”

Ianto nodded, and Jack reached for the jug. He was about to dip his hand in the water when someone grabbed his wrist. He looked up, glaring when he realised that it was Felix who had stopped him. “You’re wounded too, remember?”

“And your point is?” Jack replied, pulling his hand away. “I have to treat his wounds and believe me, a little bit of pain isn’t going to stop me.”

“Pain? Jack, are you ok?” Ianto began to push himself of the bench. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because I didn’t want you trying to fuss over me. Stay there,” Jack said, gently pushing Ianto back onto the bench. “And it’s nothing, really, just a few cuts from when I tried to smash the door down. My own stupid fault, really.”

“Let me treat him,” Felix interrupted, holding out his hand for the cloth. “I’m trained in treating wounds like his, all Elucidi fighters are.” He rolled his eyes skyward, “I know you don’t like me, but if this is going to hurt him as much as you say he’s going to need you to look after him, you can do that best by comforting him and not causing him pain.”

Jack stared at Felix in amazement. He had thought the man disliked him and Ianto but whether he did or not the fact he was still willing to help spoke volumes for his character. He knew that his harsh words and actions had most likely been out of fear and anger, but he had not expected such a quick change of heart.

“Thank you,” he said, handing the cloth over. “I promise, when the Doctor comes I’ll make sure both of you get out of here with us.” He turned to Ianto, kneeling on the floor beside his head and taking hold of his hand. “You’re going to be ok, Ianto,” he soothed. “And you can squeeze my hand as hard as you like, I won’t hold it against you.”

Jack glanced over at Felix, motioning for him to begin. The Elucidi wrung the cloth outand pressed it against the wounds on Ianto’s back. Jack winced when Ianto screamed, hand tightening around his and writhing on the bench. Jack leant forward, placing a gentle but restraining hand on Ianto’s shoulder, careful to avoid his wounds.

“It stings,” Ianto said, looking up to meet Jack’s gaze. “Please, Jack, make it stop.”

Jack glanced away, eyes downcast to avoid Ianto’s tear-filled gaze. The crystals were hurting him, and Jack hated that he had to cause him more pain.

“I’m sorry, Ianto. This has to be done.” He forced himself to look up at Ianto, to see the pain etched onto his face. “This is my fault. I’m sorry.”

Whether Ianto heard him though his sobs and whimpers was questionable. He kept a tight grip around Jack’s hand, fingernails digging into his flesh, but the Captain didn’t complain, taking the small amount of pain as penance for bringing Ianto here.

The sudden slackening of Ianto’s grip sent Jack’s heart racing.

“Ianto?” he called, feeling for a pulse. When he found one he breathed a heavy sigh of relief, running his gaze over Ianto’s face. His eyes were calm and the fear and pain that had been previously etched onto it. He had passed out from the pain, nothing more.

“Let’s hurry and get this finished before he wakes,” he said to Felix, waiting for the man to finish cleaning Ianto’s wounds. Then, lifting Ianto into a sitting position, he began to wrap the roll of bandages around his torso. He tied them tightly and lay Ianto on the bench once more. Then, pulling off his own shirt, he lifted Ianto enough so he could dress him in it, sliding his arms into the sleeves and buttoning it up.

Picking up his coat, Jack laid Ianto along the bench, sitting beside him and cushioning his head in his lap and draping the coat over him, stroking his fingers through Ianto’s hair as he waited for him to wake.

* * *

The Doctor was fed up with waiting. He wasn’t used to it, to tell the truth. Usually the psychic paper got him into wherever he wanted to be in very little time. This time, however, he had been fobbed off with excuses while they went to deal with someone the Doctor highly suspected was one of his friends.

He had ignored his drink, not trusting the slavers not to have drugged it. Despite his dropped hints of bosses who knew exactly where he was, he didn’t put it past the slavers to abduct him – especially if they realised who he was. The Last of the Time Lords would raise a healthy profit if they were to sell him. Not that they would get the chance.

The door swung open and one of the slavers stepped through, “Doctor Smith?” he strode towards the Doctor. “Parvek will see you now; I trust this won’t take long? He is a very busy man, you understand.”

“Oh yes, won’t take long at all, I just need to see your merchandise, make sure none of them show signs of disease, make sure they’re kept in the right conditions that sort of thing. It really is all for the best.” The Doctor beamed, climbing to his feet and stretching. “Come on, then,” he said with a big grin in the alien’s direction. “Lead the way, I don’t want to get lost you know.”

The alien nodded, leading the way through a doorway and down a long corridor. The Doctor couldn’t help but raise his eyebrow at the state of the corridors, knowing the rooms would be even more grand and that the slaves would live in comparative squalor.

Eventually, they came to a halt outside a heavy wooden door. The alien rapped on the door before pushing it open and leading him inside. As the Doctor had predicted, the room was even more elaborately decorated. Seated on a plush sofa was a grossly fat alien peering over a thick wad of papers. On a large wooden desk were more piles of paper and the Doctor couldn’t fail to notice a very familiar leather wristband and gun lying near the edge. The Doctor edged towards the desk, positioning himself just beside Jack’s possessions.

“Sir, this is Doctor Smith, the man I told you about?” the alien said. “Doctor Smith, this is Parvek, the owner of this establishment.”

“Ah yes, of course!” the Doctor said, grinning at Parvek, “You’ve certainly done well out of it too! Well, shan’t keep you from any work. Just let me know where to go and what to do.”

“What exactly do you intend to do here, Doctor?” Pavek asked, frowning and glancing up from his paperwork.

“Oh, well, my bosses sent me; we’ve had a number of complaints about some of your rivals. I was sent to check your business out, make sure you can’t be accused of selling sickly or weak slaves, you know?” the Doctor said. “I’ll be just checking their living conditions – of course, not looking for anything spectacular, just that they’re somewhere suitable for their status. I’ll be scanning them for signs of disease or injury too, that sort of thing – really nothing to worry you. I’m sure you’ll be quite fine.”

He pulled out his psychic paper and handed it over to Parvek. Parvek glanced over the paper, snorted, and handed it back. “And what if we don’t let you?”

The Doctor was quite taken aback; he hadn’t believed he would face complete rejection. “Well, we wouldn’t be able to give you the quality ranking you clearly deserve; you might lose a little money over it. If you were to let me in, however, you stand to gain quite a lot.”

Parvek grunted, waving a hand at the slaver. “Take him around the cells and show him the goods. He only needs to see the ones for sale, the others aren’t important. Keep an eye on him too, don’t let him touch anything he shouldn’t.”

“Oh I wouldn’t do that, don’t you worry. I’ll be on my best behaviour!” the Doctor called, as the slaver bowed to Parvek and led the way out of the room, the Doctor waited until his back was turned and Parvek’s attention on his papers before reaching out and grabbing Jack’s possessions and dropping them in his pockets before following the slaver out the door. To his relief, Parvek didn’t even seem to notice, but the Doctor doubted he would know the importance of Jack’s vortex manipulator, let alone be able to use it.

He was led down the elaborately decorated corridors, finally coming to a halt before a thick wooden door. His guide opened it with a cardkey hanging at his belt and led the Doctor into a part of the building that couldn’t be more different from that he had just left. The walls and floor were bare, cold stone and the lighting was dim. The Doctor followed the alien down stone steps and along long twisting corridors, so confusing that he wondered if he would get out again.

“What did you say your name was again?” he asked his guide. The alien glanced back at him.

“Gilem, sir” he answered, continuing down the corridors.

“Tell me, Gilem,” the Doctor said, a moment later. “How is it you find your way in here? It’s awful dark.”

“We can’t be giving all our secrets up,” Gilem replied, shooting a smirk over his shoulder that, in the dim light, looked positively menacing. “These passages are quite simple once you get used to them, anyway.”

He continued down the passage, his footsteps heavy against the bare stone. Eventually, the Doctor realised that he was just being led back and forth through the passages. They weren’t complex, the route just made them seem so. If one managed to escape past the guards then finding the way out would be easy.

Gilem led him into an open landing where a set of stairs spiralled upwards; a corridor led from the room, initially looking identical to the one they had come down, and a couple of heavy doors were set into the walls. Several broad shouldered guards stood around the room, two of them either side of a large metal panel. Gilem nodded in greeting and led the Doctor down the corridor; more of the heavy doors were set into the walls, five on each side the Doctor counted.

“How many slaves can you hold, here?” The Doctor asked.

Gilem glanced around. “Three hundred in total. But we can house more in extreme circumstances.”

He gestured at the door he had stood outside, scanning his key card in a slot beside it. The door swung open to reveal a small, bare walled cell, lit by the light streaming in through the small barred window. Four young men sat inside the cell on long benches, they glanced up at the sound of the door opening, climbing warily to their feet.

The Doctor glanced over the young men. All four were too thin by far, some of them with cruel scars across torsos and what the Doctor could see of their backs. The room they were in looked barely warm, and a rank smell made the Doctor wrinkle his nose. What was worst, however, was the look in their eyes: bleak hopelessness. The Doctor didn’t know how long they had been there but they clearly held no hope of freedom.

One thing he did know, though, was that there was no way he could leave here with only Jack and Ianto. He would have to release all of them.

* * *

“Hey.”

Ianto groaned and opened his eyes fully on hearing the voice. Jack’s face hovered above his, concern etched onto his features. When Ianto met his eyes, Jack smiled.

“How are you feeling?”

Ianto struggled to push himself up, groaning as the smallest movement sent shockwaves of pain up his back. He whimpered, Jack’s hands sliding under his arms to help him up, sitting him on the bench. The hands were cold and when Ianto glanced over at Jack he realised that the baggy shirt he wore was Jack’s own.

“Jack, you’re cold.”

Jack grabbed Ianto’s hands when they moved to unbutton the shirt.

“I believe I asked you how you were feeling,” he said chidingly, raising an eyebrow.

Ianto glanced away, biting his lip. “It stings still, but not as much as before.” It was the truth, although the pain had barely waned. The combination of the wounds and the solution used to clean them was excruciating even now. He glanced over to Felix who was seated on the bench beside Clara, sharing food between them. “Thank you.”

Felix shrugged. “Yeah, well, you’d have done the same, I’m sure,” he answered, “Besides, Clara could feel your pain and I needed Jack to keep you as calm as possible.”

Ianto felt guilty, and it must have shown on his face for Clara cut in. “Don’t worry about it, Ianto. He worries something awful and I’m using our link more than usual in here and that makes him tense.”

Ianto nodded and then Jack was pressing a plate into his hands with a selection of meat and bread, holding his own, emptier plate in his other hand.

“Hope you don’t mind that I started without you,” Jack said, with a small smile as Ianto took the plate, starting on his own food. Watching him pick at it, Ianto realised that Jack had given Ianto half his own food to stop him going hungry and lied to cover up his actions. Something told him Jack would not take the food back no matter how many times Ianto insisted – if he were to insist. Slaves accepted what they were given, even from other slaves, and if he was going to have to return to that life he knew he would have to forget the behaviour he had learnt with Jack.

He let his hand rest on Jack’s arm and waited until Jack caught his eye before smiling briefly and turning back to his food.

They didn’t speak while they ate except for Jack showing Ianto how to eat the strange fruit that looked like an apple on the outside but resembled a kiwi fruit inside. It was one of the strangest things Ianto had ever tasted but he liked it, licking the juice from his chin and fingers as Jack who looked on with a strange expression on his face. Ianto almost took it for desire but for the undercurrent of something gentler. It wasn’t the lust-fuelled gaze of his Masters, but something else completely.

He started as he heard footsteps in the corridor; sure they were coming back for him. He barely felt Jack’s arms slide around him, lips pressing kisses to his head, although he was aware that it felt nice. There was a noise at the door as it was unlocked and it swung open.

Talomi stood there, flanked by a pair of guards. He glanced at Ianto and smirked before turning that gaze to Jack. After a moment he said, “That’s him. That’s my slave.” He pointed at Ianto And spat, “You’re going to learn just what you get for running away from me, slave.”

Ianto flinched, clinging to Jack all the more.

“Please no,” he whimpered, closing his eyes as hands landed on his biceps and began to pull him backwards, tugging him away from Jack. He heard Jack cry out and then his protective hold was gone.

“Jack!” Ianto yelled, opening his eyes as they pulled him from Jack who was struggling dazedly to his feet. “Jack!”

He was shoved into the corridor, but before he could start back towards Jack Talomi had grabbed him and pushed him against the wall viciously. Ianto couldn’t hold back the scream as his back made contact with the wall, the rough stone digging into his wounds. Then Talomi was blocking his view. There was no warning as Talomi slapped his face, his huge palm likely to leave a bruise.

“That’ll teach you,” he snapped, closing metal cuffs around Ianto wrists. Ianto whimpered as the metal edges dug into his flesh, trying to twist away as Talomi picked up a heavy metal collar with a short chain dangling from it.

The fighting only gained him another slap and Ianto sank miserably against the wall as Talomi fastened the collar around his neck. He stepped back, holding onto the chain and glancing over Ianto.

“There, now you look like the pathetic slave you are and not whatever it was you were playing at.”

Ianto glanced over Talomi’s shoulder at the cell. Jack was pressed up against the door, gazing at him through the small barred window, his hands wrapped tight around the bars. Talomi followed his gaze, chuckling darkly.

“Did you think he liked you?” he said mockingly, pushing his face into Ianto’s. “He didn’t; he just wanted to fuck you like the rest of us. That’s all you’re good for.”

“That isn’t true!” Jack snapped, “Ianto, don’t believe a word he says. I’ll find you again, I swear.”

Talomi laughed at that. “He’s the one you shouldn’t believe. You’re mine, and I don’t intend on letting you go.”

He gave the chain a rough yank that had Ianto stumbling down the corridor, much to the guards’ amusement. As he was pulled away he managed another glance over his shoulder. Jack was almost out of sight, he could see the fingers curled around the bars, hear him calling his name.

He knew, deep in his heart, that he would never see him again. And that scared him more than Talomi ever could.


	26. Chapter 26

Ianto was trembling in silent fear by the time he had reached the entrance to the manor. Talomi’s pace had been quick and a couple of times he had sped up so that Ianto, taken unaware, had stumbled and nearly fallen. He also took great amusement in jerking Ianto’s chain roughly, telling Ianto that it was only a taste of what was in store for him.

Ianto’s treatment the previous time had been bad but he had a terrible suspicion that this would be worse. His only consolation was the small hope that Jack would escape and find him, or that the Doctor would. More than that he hoped Jack would be bought by a kinder Master than Talomi and be treated well.

He followed Talomi down the corridor, not even daring to contemplate escape. He knew it would be impossible. There were too many guards surrounding him and even in the market place there would be too many people willing to hinder him.

A sob escaped his throat and he struggled to hold the rest in. He knew how Talomi viewed emotion. Tears would be seen as weakness, unwanted signs of his presence. Emotion was allowable only when it was a cry of pain, tears only when he was raped or beaten, and never after. He had started to hope his sob had gone unnoticed when Talomi rounded on him, hand raised to strike.

Ianto flinched away, which seemed to satisfy Talomi.

“Have you forgotten everything I taught you or are you simply being disobedient?” he snapped, not dropping the hand.

Ianto immediately dropped his gaze to the floor, “I am sorry, Master, I forgot.”

The blow still did not come.

“That had better be all you forgot. You are my property, nothing more, and I do not need to see you snivelling and crying,” Talomi said, turning around. “If you make one more sound then you will regret it, understood?”

Ianto nodded, remembering to keep his eyes on the ground. Talomi didn’t like him to hold his gaze. His thoughts went back to Jack and he hoped once again that Jack would be bought by someone who treated him right. It was his fault Jack was in this place; if he had never bought Ianto... Ianto bit down heavily on his lip, holding in the tears that the thought of Jack brought up.

He clung to the memories of his brief time with Jack, determined never to forget the man who had shown him a life other than slavery, the man who had treated him with kindness and respect and had almost made him believe that he wasn’t worthless or pathetic that he had a choice and a life of his own. Ianto could already feel himself sinking back into those old beliefs. He would cling to those memories and the dim hope that Jack would find him again to get him through the next few days.

Talomi pulled him into the study, jerking him to a halt while he exchanged pleasantries with Parvek. Ianto couldn’t really hear a lot of what was being said but assumed that Talomi was probably thanking Parvek for finding his slave. He let their laughter wash over him, ignoring what were no doubt comments about him and what was to be done to him. That was something Ianto did not care to dwell on. The slaving was something he could cope with; the beatings and punishments were not the worst of it either – but the rapes. Jack had told him he had a right to decide who he had sex with and Ianto had wished that were true but he knew that all too soon he would be forced to Talomi’s bed, have his hands all over him, his...

Ianto flinched, pushing the thoughts to the back of his mind. They returned as soon as Talomi turned round, leering at him before leading him out of the room.

As they stepped through the manor gates into the busy streets, Ianto glanced around for some sign of the missing Doctor. There was no sign of him and the crowd pain no attention to his enslavement, letting him past without a second glance. Slavery was too common here for them to care, and most of the crowd were slave owners themselves and would be all too willing to step in his way should he try to escape.

Still, he didn’t give up, continuing glancing around just in case an opportunity presented itself. He owed Jack that much; if he could just get free and find some way of finding the Doctor, they could get Jack out of there. Jack was too good to be someone’s slave. He was strong and brave and Ianto couldn’t bear to think of him subjected to the horrors he had experienced.

Ianto frowned as the crowd dropped away and Talomi led him into a narrow alleyway, turning a corner into another, darker and narrower than the first; before he fully realised what was going on, the alien had shoved him against the wall, jarring his wounds.

“I hope you’re not planning on escaping, whore,” he hissed, his breath hot against Ianto’s face. “Because you really wouldn’t get too far.”

He grabbed Ianto’s chin in his hand, squeezing tightly as he pressed a bruising kiss to his lips.

“It’s my good fortune I was here for business anyway. That’s why I got to you so quickly.”

He pulled away, grabbed the front of Ianto’s shirt and threw him to the ground. Ianto cried out as he landed, sprawled in the dirt, and turned to look up at Talomi fearfully.

“And this time,” Talomi said as he took a step forward, “There’s no brave prince to save his pretty little whore.”

* * *

By the time he had seen the tenth cell, the Doctor had seen enough. Each cell held four slaves in the same underfed, downtrodden condition. They had been beaten and bullied and any hope they had once clung to had long since vanished from their eyes. The Doctor looked at them, trying hard not to let his real emotions shown to the slavers. One thing he clung to was that none of the slaves were restrained, just imprisoned by the thick doors that were controlled by the key cards.

The Doctor glanced around as they stepped back into the room with the staircase. “Is there any way of releasing all the doors at once - in case of emergency, of course? I can’t believe you would want to risk losing them all at once? You must have a contingency plan?”

Gilem eyed him warily, before gesturing at the large panel guarded by one large alien. “There’s a control panel that opens all the doors on one floor. They’ve never been used though – too many slaves loose at one time would cause chaos, as I’m sure you can imagine.”

“I imagine so,” the Doctor smiled. He slid his hand into his pocket, wrapping it around his sonic screwdriver and lifting it free, striding forward to peer at the panel in mock curiosity. “Quite an ingenious system, of course, you’d need not only the card but the fingerprint of one of you fellows to override the system.” He smirked at the alien guard and Gilem. “Of course, no one’s going to get that – so you’re safe from renegades. Well, unless they’re very brilliant renegades of course. Then they would only need to do this.”

Before any of the slavers could react, the Doctor had levelled the sonic screwdriver at the control panel and pressed a button. There were a series of clicks and then a high piercing alarm filled the air.

He shot the stunned guards a quick grin then sprinted down the corridor he had come from. “Come on!” he yelled over the noise of the alarms as the slaves edged towards the doors, “I’m getting you out of here!”

The guards were following him and ordering the slaves back into their cells. The slaves, however, were beginning to realise that something was happening; some hung back, understandably wary, but a few were beginning to edge from their cells.

“Come on!” the Doctor yelled, rounding a corner and down another corridor. The slaves here were leaving the cells, a few hurrying towards the stairway. There were easily more than enough to get past the guards without too much effort but the alarm was attracting more guards and if they didn’t move soon the Doctor knew he would be rounded up and imprisoned once more.

He grabbed one of the slaves in the corridor and shook him. “Get everyone out of here, go through the manor – there’ll be more slaves in there to help you!”

His cry roused more of the slaves and as he rushed down the corridor more were emerging from their cells to hurry down the corridor towards their stairway and the guards, despite their best efforts to overcome them were outnumbered.

It was, as Gilem had said, chaos.

Entering the stairway, the Doctor was grabbed at by one of the guards but dodged nimbly to the side as a slave barged into the slaver from behind. He was a tall man with no small amount of natural strength despite the condition he had been kept in. Before he could move on the Doctor grabbed his arm.

“I need help to get the slaves from the upper floors,” he explained. The man nodded and glanced over his shoulder.

“Come on, let’s get the others out!” he roared and no fewer than three men joined him as they cut their way through the chaos towards the upper floors.

Huddled at the foot of the stairs they found Gilem. He leapt to his feet as he caught sight of the Doctor, trying to block the way up their stairs. “You’re not going up there!” he said, less confidently than before. “You’ve caused enough chaos – this will cost thousands to put right!”

One of the men accompanying the Doctor appeared. The Doctor smiled grimly. “I’d like to see you stop me. Now, where have they put the new slaves? Two men were brought in today – my friends, where are they?”

“Why should I tell you?” Gilem sneered. “Who do you think you are?”

The Doctor drew him to his full height. “I’m the Doctor – the man they call the Oncoming Storm. I’m the one person you shouldn’t have messed with. You crossed a line when you hurt my friends and for that I will destroy you all; if I get to free these people in doing so then so much the better. If I were you I would run and run fast because when these slaves get into the market place, chaos won’t even begin to describe it. You’ve got a rebellion on your hands and you slavers are the ones who’ll suffer most at the hands of the mob – and I can’t say that I’ll be the one to stop it.”

With that he pushed past Gilem and climbed the stairs followed by a small group of ex-slaves. At the top of the stairs he came across a small group of guards blocking their way but simply stepped back, letting his bodyguards swarm past him and force them back. A gap formed at the top of the stairs wide enough for the Doctor to dart through and over to the panel, once again he aimed his sonic screwdriver at it, opening the doors and setting off the alarm. Drawn by the commotion, the occupants of these cells moved quicker, some of them fleeing down the steps others stopping to fight the guards that were struggling to fend off the men and women they had long abused and demeaned. The slaves were one mass, fighting for the freedom they had long been denied. They were merciless with the slavers but the Doctor could only watch uncaring. He did not fully like this violence but could not bring himself to prevent the ex-slaves gaining their vengeance in freedom.

Vengeance that the Doctor felt was deserved. No one should have been treated in the way these men and women had been and he hoped that would never again be the case here. If they had hurt Ianto or Jack in anyway the Doctor would add his own vengeance to theirs.

* * *

Watching Talomi lead Ianto away had been one of the most horrible experiences of Jack’s life. He had promised Ianto protection and time and again failed him. All the promises he had made to Ianto were broken again and again. It wouldn’t have been a surprise to learn Ianto could no longer trust him, hated him even. Jack certainly didn’t think Ianto had any reason to like him; since their reunion he had caused Ianto more pain than he had ever thought imaginable.

It would have been better had he been assured that Ianto could – and more importantly, would, protect himself. After their training in the TARDIS, Jack was certain that Ianto could hold his own, but against Talomi? Ianto was terrified of that man and wouldn’t fight for fear of losing and the subsequent punishment he would receive. Ianto would just accept everything he was dealt though and all the progress he had made would be ruined.

Jack let out a scream of frustration and kicked the heavy door.

“Let me out of here!” he yelled, banging on the door. “Let me the fuck out, you’re not going to make a slave of me so you may as well let me go!”

He wanted to go after Ianto. He wanted to save Ianto and kill Talomi. He wanted to make Ianto remember and then everything would be alright. First he had to get out of here. He kicked at the door again.

“I’m going to get out of here and when I do, I’ll destroy you,” he shouted. “I’ll shut you down for good.”

By now, Jack knew Talomi would have got Ianto out of the building and would be leading him back to his ship to take him home. Where home was, Jack didn’t know. The Vavarlin race inhabited several planets and any one of them could be Ianto’s destination. It would take too long to find him. He whirled back at the door. “Come on, or are you too afraid to take me on like real men?”

There was still no answer and his anger was growing with every silence. He was angry at the slavers, at Talomi, at the Doctor and most of all at himself. He was the one who had failed to protect Ianto. He was the one who had got Ianto into this mess. If he’d gone with Ianto that day he’d have made sure it was him taken by the rift and not Ianto. There were so many things he could have done to fix this and he’d chosen the wrong path every time.

He glanced over at the cells’ other occupants. “Isn’t there anything you can do? I need to find Ianto.”

“I’m sorry,” Clara said. “I really am, but... what is going on here?”

Jack sank to the bench and rubbed his hands across his face. “Ianto was a slave before, that man was responsible for causing him a lot of pain. He couldn’t be in the power of anyone worse.”

He rose to his feet and banged his fist against the door again. As if in answer an alarm began to ring from somewhere far down the corridors. Jack took a step back, frowning in confusion. The ringing of the alarm was quiet but Jack knew that is meant something had gone wrong – whether or not it could work to their advantage was another question though.

“What’s going on?” Felix asked, coming to stand beside Jack. “Something’s happening.”

Together, the men pressed themselves against the door, trying to see out of the small window and catch a glimpse of whatever was going on. A couple of guards hurried past, shouting urgently but there were no other signs to tell them what was going on.

“Something isn’t right,” Jack said, slamming against the door. “We’ve got to get out of here!”

The door would not move though, standing firm no matter how many times Jack and Felix tried to barge it down.

Another alarm sounded, closer this time, and with it came shouting and screaming: the sounds of chaos. Jack hoped that this was the sort of chaos the Doctor caused and not the type he tried to sort out. Preparing for the former, Jack snatched up his coat and pulled it on, going to peer out the window once again.

If the Doctor was here, maybe he had intercepted Ianto. Maybe Ianto was safe. It was almost too much to hope but Jack had to hold onto any chance – no matter how small.

The shouts and cries were closer now, louder, as if they were coming from further down the corridor. Then the alarm rang out, louder than the previous times and the door to the cell swung open with a click.

“Come on!” Jack called, leaving the cell instantly. “The Doctor’s behind this, I’m sure!”

He sprinted down the corridor, Clara and Felix following close behind. He burst into the main stairwell and felt a huge swell of relief as he saw the Doctor directing freed slaves down the stairs. There was no sign of Ianto, though.

“Doctor!” Jack yelled, hurrying across the room and stopping in front of the Timelord. “Have you seen Ianto?”

The Doctor frowned. “I thought he was with you?” he glanced around as the former slaves fled down the stairs. “Where is he?”

“The slavers recognised him, they contacted Talomi – I don’t know how but he got here and he’s taken Ianto.” Jack said, despair beginning to return as he realised that Ianto was without a doubt in Talomi’s clutches. He gestured back at Felix and a Clara. “They’re friends, take care of them – I’m going after Ianto.”

He started towards the stairs, following the rest of the freed slaves. The Doctor really had excelled himself this time, he thought – just a little later than would have been ideal.

“Jack!” the Doctor called, stopping Jack in his tracks. The Captain whirled around to see the Doctor holding out his vortex manipulator and Webley. “Thought you might need these.”

The Doctor gave him a half smile as Jack took the items with a brief nod. The Doctor smiled, and Jack knew that even if the Timelord hated guns, this time he was willing to let Jack do whatever he wished. He was leaving Jack to dispose of Talomi and rescue Ianto.

“Be careful,” the Doctor said. “I’ll see you both back at the TARDIS.”

Jack nodded, feeling a wave of gratitude towards the Timelord. Then with a last glance at Felix and Clara he turned and ran down the corridor in pursuit of Ianto and Talomi. He would find them and he would make Talomi suffer. He just hoped he wasn’t too late.


	27. Chapter 27

Jack ran.

He wasn’t sure where he was running or where Ianto would be but he followed the fleeing slaves, taking the stairs two at a time and pushing through the crowds. At the bottom of the stairs he sped up, weaving through the exodus of slaves towards the manor proper.

He had barely gone halfway along that corridor before the familiar smell of smoke caught his attention. It was hardly surprising but deeply worrying. Suddenly afraid that Ianto was still in the building he sped up, determined to find the Welshman and escape before the former slaves could do too much damage.

Bursting through the door into the manor, Jack didn’t pay too much attention to his surroundings; he got the distinct impression that the decor had been very expensive before today. Now plinths and picture hooks stood empty where more enterprising slaves had stolen their previous occupants. The smoke was thicker here and before too long, Jack came up against a group of slaves trying to force their way through a heavy door.

They weren’t having much luck, but Jack suspected that behind that door hid many of those responsible for their imprisonment. Seizing the opportunity, Jack pushed his way to the front of the crowd, pulled out his Webley and fired two shots at the lock before kicking the door open.

He strode inside and, after scanning the room and finding no sign of Ianto, marched straight over to Parvek. He crouched down and pressed the gun against his temple. “Ianto Jones. Where is he?”

Parvek made a sort of strangled noise. “I don’t know – he left with his Master!”

He tried to pull away from Jack’s gun but Jack grabbed him, feeling an enormous amount of loathing for the alien. Not only was Parvek cruel, he was a coward and had gained his fortune from bullying those he got in his power.

“Where did they go?” he hissed, shaking Parvek a little when he delayed in answering. “Quickly!”

“I don’t know!” Parvek cried. “Please, show some mercy! Don’t kill me!”

Jack laughed darkly but pulled away, holstering his gun. “I won’t. Can’t promise the same for them though.”

Turning he grinned at the group of slaves who had hung back watching as he threatened Parvek, clearly sensing that interruptions would not be dealt with kindly.

“He’s all yours,” he said as he swept past. “Show him the mercy you received.”

He stepped into the corridor, hurrying away as the sounds of the slavers’ screams carried back to him. Without one backwards glance he hurried down the corridor, the smoke was thicker here, and Jack could feel heat from somewhere. The crowds were thinner here, pushing towards the door – and fewer were stopping to snatch up the ornaments and pictures that had decorated the corridors.

Still Jack ran, not stopping for anything. He was drawn onwards by fears of what Ianto was going through, fears of Ianto alone with Talomi and the need to hold his lover in his arms and keep him safe as he had promised.

He faltered only briefly as he staggered out of the door, coughing and spluttering in the clean air. The manor had been the start of the chaos but it was not the sole source. Now all down the street slaves were smashing up market stalls and attacking slave owners. Everywhere, slaves were shaking off their shackles and turning on their former masters.

And somewhere in the city was Ianto.

Jack raced through the gates, clueless as to where to start. He sped across the street, glancing through the melee for any sign of Ianto. His cries were drowned out by the noise of the fighting.

Hurrying across the street he looked up and down for any sign of Ianto. Eventually, his eyes landed on an overturned market stall; behind it, partially obscured by a fallen cloth was a body. Jack saw a shock of brown hair and hurried forward. He had dropped to the ground before realising that it wasn’t Ianto but a young male slave of similar build. He was bleeding from a deep cut in his stomach and from one glance Jack knew there was nothing he could do.

He was about to move on when the young man looked up, eyes glazed with pain. They fixed on Jack’s. “Help,” he murmured. “Please...”

Jack shook his head. “I’m sorry, I...” he paused, realising this man was better treated than those in the cells. “Listen, did you see a man leave the manor? He would have bought a slave – young, dark hair, really handsome.” He noticed the man’s hesitation. “Please, he’s... he means a lot to me, I need to find him before something bad happens.”

The man pointed down the street at one of the alleyways. “That way,” he said. “Down that alleyway.”

Jack nodded, murmuring his thanks as he got to his feet and turned to run in the direction the man had pointed in. Darting through the crowd he pulled his Webley out as a precaution, pushing past anyone who got in his way – the alley could lead to anywhere and anything could have happened to Ianto by now.

Rounding the corner into the alley, Jack sped up as a familiar voice caught his attention. A wordless cry of fear and pain that drew him onwards, feeding his anger. He rounded the corner and stopped dead. Talomi had Ianto pressed up against the wall, his hands wrapped around Ianto’s wrists as he forced a kiss on the Welshman.

Jack’s eyes narrowed and he aimed his gun at Talomi. He didn’t fire, not trusting Talomi enough to risk it with Ianto that close.

“I warned you, Talomi. You didn’t listen. Now get the hell away from Ianto.”

***

The Doctor watched Jack run away down the corridor, waiting until he had disappeared before turning back to Jack’s companions. He raised an eyebrow, taking in their physical features and trying to narrow down the list of species they could belong to.

“Who are you then?” he asked, grinning cheerfully at them. “I’m the Doctor. I suppose Jack’s told you all about me?”

“Clara,” the female said. “And this is my twin, Felix – we are of the Elucidi.”

The Doctor grin widened. “The Elucidi! Really! That’s brilliant! And twins – you must be very powerful, indeed. I met an Elucidi once, a brilliant man although a little odd...” he frowned. “Well, I suppose you’d better come with me – any friend of Jack’s is a friend of mine!”

He grinned across at Clara, as he felt the slight tingle in his head that signified that someone was trying to read him. The look of disconcertment on Clara’s face as she hit his mental barriers made him smile. “I bet that’s never happened before,” he said. “You won’t meet many people able to block you with a mind like that, but just so happens that I’m one of them. Not to worry though. You’ll be perfectly safe with me! This way now, make sure you stick together.”

He hurried away down the corridor, only glancing over his shoulder once to ensure the twins were following. The young woman was incredibly powerful, he could tell; getting her back to her home planet would be a matter of importance. If he didn’t, something told him it would be disastrous.

He led the way down the steps; by now there were only a few stragglers, hurrying to escape. The Doctor urged them on. Glancing back at the twins, he called out, “Do you need a ride home? If you do you’re going to love my ship.”

“Yes, please!” Clara called back, before adding in an undertone. “He certainly can’t be the Doctor Grandfather talked about. That man wasn’t half so... hyper... from what he said.”

“Oi!” the Doctor retorted, “I’m the one and only Doctor, thank you very much; I was in another regeneration back then, but it was certainly me he was talking about.”

He paused as they reached the bottom of the stairs, blinking as he stared down the corridor. The corridor was filled with thick smoke; Gilem had been right, the Doctor thought, there was chaos now all the slaves had been released, and someone had set the manor aflame. The city was likely to be in uproar too.

He grinned; maybe this rebellion was just what the city needed to end slavery. After this, maybe the races could live in peace. He glanced back at the twins who were staring into the smoke in apprehension.

“Oh this is nothing,” he told them. “Once I had to climb through an underpass filled with exhaust fumes. This will be a walk in the park – well, a run actually, but never mind, come on!”

He took off at a run, pulling his coat up over his mouth and beckoning his companions onwards. They hurried though the smoke, coughing and spluttering into what scant protection they had found. The smoke was thicker the closer they got to the flames, and the Doctor had to ignore the cries of fright around him. Most of the people still in the building would be too injured to have any chance of survival anyway; the others would have to find their own way out.

From what he could see, the manor had been looted, the slavers killed. He felt a small surge of irritation. Even the slavers didn’t deserve that, no matter how cruel they had been. There were other solutions. There were always other solutions.

The heat from the fire grew as they reached the entrance and soon the Doctor could see flames flickering in the doorways, spreading towards the corridor. Beckoning the twins onwards he sped past the flames and into the entrance hall. Bursting through the large front doors the Doctor hurried out of the smoke and sagged heavily against the wall, struggling for air. Beside him, Felix and Clara sank down to the ground.

Eventually, the Doctor stood up, gazing out of the gates. Out there, the city was in full rebellion. Slaves freed from their shackles were attacking their owners, ruining the places they had once been held thrall in. He breathed in sharply. The whole city was a battlefield and he had to cross it.

***

Ianto cried out in pain as Talomi kicked him in the side. He curled himself into a tight ball, trying to fight down the panic in his gut. Surely Talomi wasn’t going to kill him here? Not after everything. Ianto didn’t want to die; sure, it was preferable to going to Talomi and spending the rest of his life being used and beaten but after the taste of happiness he had been given he didn’t want to risk losing another chance.

He whimpered as Talomi’s fingers curled into his hair, wrenching his head backwards. “You got this cut short,” he hissed. “You know I liked it long.”

“I’m sorry!” Ianto began “I...”

He was cut off by a slap to the face and his head banged back against the ground. He cried out, glancing back up to Talomi fearfully. His face stung, and he knew that there would be bruises in the morning – if there was to be a morning for him.

“I see I’m going to have to teach you to behave again,” Talomi said. “I don’t appreciate a slave who answers back.”

He grabbed Ianto and hauled him to his feet, pushing him back against the wall, his hands held above his head by one of Talomi’s. Ianto uttered a small cry and screwed his eyes shut.

“Please...” he whimpered, but this went ignored. He could feel Talomi’s hand unbuttoning his shirt, tugging it open. Then cold metal pressed up against his collar bone, his eyes widened and he glanced down to see a sharp knife resting against his skin. It took every inch of will power not to fight or pull away, even as Talomi drew the knife downwards, cutting right to the bone.

“They’ve given you plenty scars for your back, so I’ll have to think of other punishments until they’re healed. Can’t have you dying on me, can I?”

He laughed, sliding calloused fingers over Ianto’s stomach and down, brushing over his cock. Ianto squeezed his eyes closed once again, letting slip a soft whimper.

“I warned you, Talomi. You didn’t listen. Now get the hell away from Ianto.”

_Jack_

 

The voice startled Ianto’s fears away. He knew the chances of Jack rescuing him from two similar situations were slim but he couldn’t ignore the hope that Jack’s voice had stirred in him. He turned his head and Jack was stood there, coat flapping in the slight breeze and gun pointed directly at Talomi. His eyes flickered briefly towards Ianto, catching his gaze for just a moment before turning back to Talomi. Talomi’s eyes widened.

“You again!” he spat and his hand tightened around Ianto’s wrists. “I’m not having you spoil my fun again; I’ll kill him before you get him...”

Ianto glanced back to Jack, knowing he wouldn’t shoot Talomi while there was a chance of hitting him. Something stirred at the back of his mind: another pair of hands on his wrists, a flash of fear. He smiled; Talomi’s attention was on Jack he would never expect it...

He brought his knee up sharply, hitting Talomi’s crotch. The alien roared in pain, releasing Ianto’s wrists, but before he could move Ianto head-butted him, forehead connecting with Talomi’s jaw, snapping his head backwards.

Talomi staggered backwards, giving Ianto the chance to break away and run to Jack’s side. Jack reached out, catching Ianto’s arm and tugging him behind him. He shot him a brief grin.

“Brilliant, Ianto.” He turned his attention on the recovering Talomi. “Stay back, I’ll deal with him and then we’ll get back to the TARDIS.”

Ianto pressed himself back against the wall, trying to make himself look inconspicuous, watching as Jack stalked forward, sliding his gun into its holster. Jack stopped beside Talomi and then, barely hesitating, kicked out, striking Talomi in the stomach, winding him from the looks of things.

Ianto gasped, stepping back as he watched Talomi sink to the ground. The change in Jack was shocking, but this time Ianto was almost certain that Jack would never hurt him. Jack had never been anything but gentle towards him and his anger was only directed at Talomi because of the pain he had put him through.

Jack kicked Talomi again, harder, drawing a cry of pain from him. Then Jack laughed. The sound chilled Ianto, the laugh wasn’t in humour but dark, almost ironic.

“You don’t like pain, do you?” Jack sneered. “Or do you only like it when you’re causing it.”

He bent and grabbing Talomi by the collar pulled him upwards and struck him twice across the face.

“It’s not so fun when you’re being beaten, is it?” when Talomi didn’t answer, Jack punched him again. “Is it!”

Jack was terrifying like this, full of rage and a completely different man to the kind and loving man Ianto had grown to like. Somehow, though, Ianto knew that Jack would never hurt him as he was Talomi. That knowledge did not make Jack less frightening; it only made Ianto more certain that he never wanted to anger Jack to this extent.

He watched as Jack pushed Talomi to the floor, pulling out his Webley and pointing it at Talomi’s head. “I’d love to spend hours making you beg for mercy. I’d love to force you to beg for Ianto’s forgiveness – but right now, I want to see you dead.” His fingers twitched on the trigger but then he cried out, falling backwards. The gun flew from his fingers, and Talomi surged upward, pinning Jack to the ground beneath him.

He punched Jack in the face twice. “I’m sorry!” he said, mockingly. “Please forgive me! I should never have hurt Ianto!” He punched Jack once more, then pulling out the knife in his belt he sneered, “Or maybe I’ll send you somewhere you won’t be able to bother me anymore.”

“Jack!” Ianto knew what was coming before it happened, he could only watch in horror as Talomi plunged the knife into Jack’s stomach, once, twice, three times. Jack’s moans were indistinguishable from Ianto’s screams.

When Jack’s body lay limp in a pool of spreading blood, Talomi climbed off him, giving his body one last kick. Ianto leant against the wall, shaking, unable to tear his eyes away from the blood, from Jack. Jack was dead. Jack, the one person who had been kind to him was dead. Dead. And it was his fault. Jack had been trying to protect him and died for it.

“Just you and me, boy,” Talomi said, and Ianto looked up at him. He hated this man, hated him for all the years of pain and abuse but more than anything else he hated him for killing Jack, the one spark of goodness in his life. He took a step to the side, glancing towards the end of the alleyway.

“Stay away from me!” he said, taking another step to the side. This time his foot brushed against something and he glanced down to see Jack’s gun.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Talomi snapped. “Stay where you are, because if I have to catch you, you will regret it – and he’s not around to stop it this time. He’s dead. He’s dead because he tried to protect a worthless slave.”

Ianto glanced to the gun and then, before he could really allow the thought to register or think of the consequences, bent and snatched it up. He pointed it at Talomi as the man took another step forward. His hands shook as he pressed his fingers on the trigger.

“Stay back! I’ll shoot you!”

“No you won’t,” Talomi replied, taking another step forward. “You’re a coward. Pathetic. You’re nothing more than a slave and a whore and you’ll stay that way. He’s dead because of you. He died because he was stupid enough to think you were more. He died because of you!”

“No...” Ianto faltered. “No...” Talomi was right; Jack had died trying to protect him. It was his fault. But... “No, you’re wrong.”

Ianto had never asked for that protection but he had needed it and, honestly, he had liked it. He had needed that protection because of Talomi. Talomi had been the reason Jack protected him and Talomi was the reason Jack was dead. Talomi had killed Jack, killed the one person to have given Ianto hope, made him believe he was worth something, been kind to him.

“You dare contradict me? That man is dead because of you!” Talomi snapped, starting to storm towards Ianto.

“You killed him! You killed Jack!” Ianto screamed.

There was a bang, and Talomi stopped dead, his eyes widening. Blood was staining the front of his shirt, spreading outwards from the centre. “You little...”

He fell to ground, pressing his hands against the wound as he tried to staunch the flow of blood, his breath coming in short gasps.

Ianto was staring at the gun in his hands in shock. With a cry of alarm he dropped the gun, taking a step away from it. He had killed Talomi. He was a murderer. Didn’t that make him as bad as Talomi? He began to shake and a sob burst from his throat. He fought against the tears; he was a murderer and now, all he could think of was how Talomi had deserved it. Talomi had killed Jack.

Remembering Jack made the tears come faster. He stepped around Talomi, rushing over to Jack’s side. Jack lay still, and Ianto was certain even before he felt for a pulse that wasn’t there that Jack was dead. His eyes stared blankly upwards, a look of pain on his face. Reaching out with trembling fingers, Ianto closed Jack’s eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Jack,” he whispered, reaching down to smooth the lapels of Jack’s coat. “I’m sorry...” his breath hitched and he buried his face in Jack’s chest, sobbing.

“Ianto...”

Ianto thought he was hearing things when Jack whispered his name. Then, a hand stroked down his back.

“Ianto, its okay. I’m okay.”

Ianto jerked away from Jack as if he’d been burned. Jack’s eyes were open and he was sitting up. Jack was alive, and where he had once been bleeding freely the wounds had vanished. What had happened? He backed away, shaking his head in disbelief. What was Jack? He should have been dead. He had been dead – there had been no pulse. Ianto was certain of that.

“Ianto – I...” Jack reached out but Ianto jerked away, staggering to his feet. He didn’t want Jack to touch him, not without knowing what he was, how he could be alive when only minutes ago he had been dead.

He turned and fled ignoring Jack’s voice calling him back.


	28. Chapter 28

The Doctor could only stare for a moment, taking in the chaos that he had caused. He came to his senses quickly, turning to urge Felix and Clara to their feet.

“Hope you’ve still got some energy,” he said with a grin. “we’re not safe yet,”

Clara sagged against her brother’s side, her strength drained from the escape and the powerful emotions surging in the streets. “Not more running...” she muttered. “I don’t even think I can walk.”

The Doctor grinned. “‘Fraid so – don’t worry, we haven’t far to go now. We have to get back to my ship; we’re not safe out here.”

He made his way to the gates, beckoning the twins to follow him. They did, the Doctor keeping a quick pace with Felix ushering Clara along behind. They went unmolested, the slaves not seeing them as a threat and the owners too busy protecting their property from the mob. The Doctor was able to navigate the streets back to the TARDIS with few problems.

Everywhere he passed chaos reigned. He would have preferred a peaceful ending to this but he knew that there was nothing he could do to prevent it. It was both a fixed point in time, not to mention that the slaves deserved their freedom and their revenge against the slavers. He had seen firsthand what the slavers had done through Ianto – and in extension, through Jack’s reactions.

No, he wouldn’t protest this chaos. Jack and Ianto deserved their revenge and he wouldn’t stop this. He only hoped that Jack had found Ianto and kept him from any more harm.

They hurried into the square beside where they had parked the TARDIS. The chaos stretched even here, the great fountain standing in the centre had been toppled, the head some way from the body and water shooting erratically into the air.

The Doctor’s wrist was seized and he was pulled aside. Felix leapt forward pulling his attacker backwards but the Doctor grabbed his arm to pull him back. His attacker was none other than one of the men who had helped him in the manor and his expression was not one of hate but of delight.

“You’re him!” he said, ushering the Doctor towards the fountain, shouting loudly to the other slaves “This is the man who saved us!”

The Doctor tried to pull away. “Now, really, it was nothing really.”

He hated the chaos that lingered after he had saved the day, preparing to slip away quietly but, instead, he was urged to stand on the rim of the fountain and a crowd was forming around him. Seeing the faces that gazed up at him in a mixture of hope and love, however, he was a little overwhelmed. So many times he had been blamed for the chaos but this time these people were grateful for it. He had given them freedom and they loved him for it. He smiled, waving his hand in an absent wave.

“Who are you?” called one voice, braver than the rest.

“Well...” the Doctor rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m the Doctor.” They seemed to be waiting for more, so he smiled. “I suppose I’m the one who got you out – well, I hope you’ll run this city better than the last lot – no more slavery, for one thing. Yes, I’m sure you’ll do a fine job – but I should leave you to it. I’ll only get in the way.”

He stepped off his platform and the crowd, which seemed to have grown a little, began to chant his name, parting for him.

Several of them reached out to touch them, hands brushing against his coat as he passed them. One young girl stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him tightly. The Doctor was taken aback but eventually managed to return the embrace.

He grabbed the arm of the man who had helped him. “I’ve got some friends out here, two men, and one of them will be in a long blue coat. If you find them can you get them back here without any more trouble?”

The man nodded his agreement and the Doctor moved on, collecting Felix and Clara and slipping down the alley. He brushed his hand over the TARDIS before opening the door and stepping inside, holding the door open for Felix and Clara.

The response was instantaneous and expected.

“She’s bigger on the inside!”

“Oh! She’s alive!”

The Doctor grinned, pushing the door shut. “Yes, and yes.”

He watched as Clara pressed her hand up against one of the coral struts, no doubt communing with the ship.

“So,” he said, breaking the silence. “What are two Elucidi doing this far from home, anyway? I thought you didn’t leave your planet, not to mention let anyone land there.”

The Elucidi had taken such measures years ago, fading into memory and then legend. It had been to prevent attacks from races that would enslave them to make war on their enemies.

“We don’t,” Clara answered. “We left because we had need of a fresh Seranial crystal. We use them in shielding our planet and one of them is on the verge of dying. I heard a rumour that one was on sale here but when we came to investigate we were captured.”

The Doctor raised an eyebrow. “I am surprised they let one of your power leave the planet.” He smiled at her startled expression, tapping the side of his head. “My mind’s pretty powerful itself, not to mention the TARDIS can tell. You’re an extraordinarily gifted empath, even without being a twin too. And that isn’t all, is it? Your grandfather was from a pretty powerful family if I remember rightly.”

Clara glanced away. “And if I am? Truthfully, the rest of the council were against me going. Felix tried his best to change my mind but I need everything in my favour if I’m to be elected next Prominent.”

“Ah!” the Doctor said. “So that’s it!” He raised an eyebrow, glancing at Felix. “Well, I think your brother was right to try and prevent you coming here. With you in their power and the right mind, someone could conquer most of the universe. I can’t think of anything worse – well, it would be worse if they had me, of course, but it’s still pretty high up on a grand scale of things.”

He glanced over at Felix, who looked very unimpressed before turning his attention back to Clara.

“You should have stayed where you were, really, but then, I can’t say that I can blame you. I always did like a spot of adventure myself – the more dangerous the better. Although, I must say – I can’t see why they would elect anyone else as Prominent. With or without the crystal, I think you’re a pretty safe bet – although come to think of it, I think I might have a Serenial crystal somewhere about. I never did need one; the TARDIS has her own shielding.”

He dropped to the floor and began pulling up panels at the base of the TARDIS. “All I have to do is find it!”

***

“Ianto!” Jack scrambled to his feet taking a hurried step in the direction Ianto had run. Taking a quick glance around the alley he took in Talomi’s body and the gun lying beside it. It didn’t take a genius to see what had happened – and Jack felt not a small amount of pride as he realised Ianto had overcome his fears momentarily. His thrill died down as he remembered that Ianto had fled from him and he couldn’t quite blame him for that.

He snatched up the gun, sliding it into his holster, and took off after Ianto. Seeing someone come back to life wasn’t something that happened every day. Ianto’s reaction was most likely from fear, the sheer terror of having something impossible becoming the opposite.

There was a small chance, however, that Ianto could have remembered; the shock jolting forgotten thoughts from Ianto’s head and startling him so much that he fled. Ianto would not know how to adjust to those memories and would run from the man who had caused their reappearance. Jack clung to that thought because if his immortality hadn’t caused Ianto to remember him he didn’t know what would.

If this hadn’t worked, Jack knew he would have to give those memories up as lost forever.

That hurt. He wanted Ianto back, the Ianto who knew him and loved him but he wasn’t going to quibble. If this new and broken Ianto who didn’t have any clue of their relationship was all he could have then he would hold on to it and never let it go. He would find some way of making Ianto love him again and then he would make sure he never felt unloved again. They would be alright in the end.

He burst onto the street, looking around for Ianto. It didn’t take him long to spot him, standing in the middle of the street as the melee surged around him. The look on his face was close to panic. Jack rushed forward, pushing through the crowds until he reached Ianto’s side, reaching out to grab Ianto’s wrist. Ianto flinched and pulled away but Jack held on tightly, turning Ianto around to meet his gaze. He wasn’t too troubled by Ianto’s reaction; after all, he had just seen a man come back from the dead and without a reason, it was fairly reasonable that Ianto would expect Talomi to come back too.

“Ianto, calm down,” Jack said, placing his hands on Ianto’s arms and rubbing them up and down soothingly. “It’s okay, you’re okay.”

“You were dead!” Ianto blurted. “There was no pulse – I checked!”

His confusion was visible on his face and Jack just wanted to draw him into an embrace. He didn’t, keeping Ianto at arm’s length and looking into his eyes.

That answered everything though: Ianto didn’t remember him. Jack’s heart sank a little at that thought but in the same moment he was pushing it out of his mind. There would be time to dwell on that later.

“I know and I can explain that, but right now I really need to get us back to the TARDIS. When we’re there I’ll explain everything and answer any of your questions.” He let go of Ianto, heartened when he didn’t immediately bolt. Holding out a hand palm up he smiled at Ianto. “Please, Ianto, this changes nothing. I’m still the same person I was before.”

Ianto hand slid into his and Jack gave it a quick squeeze. Then he led Ianto through the twisting streets towards the TARDIS. They kept a quick pace, sticking largely to the shadows. Jack knew Ianto was struggling to keep to his pace but he was reluctant to slow, not wanting to be noticed. He didn’t want any delay in getting Ianto to safety. They didn’t need more trouble.

They hurried past burning buildings and dying slave owners, Jack couldn’t help but feel a little satisfied. He would have disliked this culture even if they hadn’t been responsible for causing Ianto pain twice over. As it was, he hated them; they deserved everything they got.

They reached the TARDIS soon enough, Jack pulling the door open and all but pushing Ianto inside. He sagged against the door as four pairs of eyes turned to observe them. He smiled weakly, then looked over at Ianto. “You okay?”

Ianto nodded in response, Jack smiled briefly, turning to the Doctor, who had hurried over to remove Ianto’s chains with a little help from his sonic screwdriver.

“Get us off this planet now. We should never have come here”

The Doctor raised an eyebrow but turned to the console. “Are we going to be followed?”

“He’s dead,” Jack replied, glancing over at Ianto. When he saw the expression on his face he frowned. Ianto looked a mixture of terrified and guilt-stricken. Reaching out, he placed a comforting hand on Ianto’s arm. “Let’s get cleaned up and then we’ll talk.”

He led Ianto out of the room, towards the bathrooms. He hesitated, noticing the cut along Ianto’s collarbone for the first time.

“On second thoughts, how about we get that cut sorted first. We can talk while I do that and then we can get cleaned up.”

Ianto nodded, then he glanced up. “Why didn’t you tell them that I killed him?”

So that was the problem. Ianto was feeling guilty. Of course he wouldn’t remember the few times that he had killed before – this was the first time and of course he would feel guilty. Jack shook his head, it didn’t matter that Talomi had been evil and deserved everything he got, Ianto would still feel terrible for killing him.

“Because it doesn’t matter,” Jack said. “He’s dead; I don’t care who did it.” He shrugged. “Ianto, he deserved to die. After all he did to you, he didn’t deserve anything better as far as I’m concerned. Who killed him is irrelevant.”

“You don’t care?” Ianto asked quietly. “But what I did was wrong, I’m a murderer.”

Jack grabbed hold of his hands in an attempt to stop them shaking. “No. Ianto. You’re not a murderer. You killed him in self-defence – he would have done worse to you if you hadn’t killed him. No one would fault you for what you did, he deserved it.” He released Ianto’s hands, taking a step back. “After everything he did to you, do you really believe that he deserved to live, so he could still haunt you? So he could hurt someone else? He would have done, Ianto, and you’ve done a good thing in stopping him.”

He knew the last part was emotional blackmail but he had to convince Ianto that he shouldn’t feel guilty for killing Talomi. Jack knew he wouldn’t have felt a bit of guilt and Ianto had been subject to so much more pain at Talomi’s hands. He didn’t want Ianto to beat himself up over it – Ianto didn’t deserve that. He turned, heading in the direction of the infirmary with Ianto trailing behind.

“I don’t understand,” Ianto said after a moment or two. “I was always taught that killing was wrong. Why don’t you care? Aren’t you going to punish me?”

“Didn’t I say no more punishments?” Jack turned his head to look at Ianto sternly. “I think we’ve had enough of them for today.” He raised an eyebrow and grinned. “Seriously, Ianto. I’d be a bit hypocritical to punish you for this – I’d have killed him without a second thought, because you are more important to me than him. And like I said, you killed him in self defence – no one would fault you for that.”

“It wasn’t just in self-defence...” Ianto replied quietly. “I wanted him dead; he’d killed you and all I could think was how I wanted him dead.” He dropped his head. “I’m horrible, aren’t I?”

Jack wheeled around, catching Ianto’s chin in his hand and forcing him to look upwards. “No! Ianto! You’re one of the nicest people I know. There are probably a million reasons why you did why you did, but they don’t make you horrible!” He paused. “I’d have killed him without a second thought and I wouldn’t feel any guilt. Surely that makes me...”

“No!” Ianto interrupted. “You’re not horrible at all, Jack! You’re kind and caring; you would have only done it to protect me... to stop him hurting anyone else...”

He paused, realising what he had said. Jack knew that, despite what he had just thought, Ianto would still feel the guilt for some time.

Jack nodded. “Ianto, you might not believe it, but I think it was the right thing to do. I know you feel guilty, but he got what was coming to him. You shouldn’t beat yourself up over these things.”

He slid his arm around Ianto’s waist, careful not to touch the wounds, and steered him towards the infirmary. “As much as I believe he deserved everything he got,” Jack began, “I do know what it’s like to feel guilt over causing someone’s death. Too many people have died either at my hands or as a result of something I did. You have to learn not to let the guilt get hold of you. Promise me, if it starts to, you’ll talk to me?”

Ianto nodded, leaning on Jack a little. Jack smiled, glad that Ianto didn’t appear unwilling to touch him but was also very aware that it would have more to do with Ianto’s growing exhaustion than anything else. He didn’t pull away until they reached the infirmary and he had Ianto seated on the bed. Kicking the door shut he began to gather up spare bandages, salves and a pack of antiseptic wipes to clean the wounds. He was silent while he unwrapped the old bandages from around Ianto’s waist, trying to decide how best to phrase his explanation.

“I can’t die,” he said eventually, picking up the wipes to begin to treat Ianto’s wounds – a distraction as much as a necessity. “Or rather, I do die but I have problems staying dead.”

He sighed, pausing in what he was doing to run his hand over his face.

“When I was travelling with the Doctor for the first time, we landed in the year 200,100. We ended up fighting a race called the Daleks. They killed me - for good.” Jack paused, working on Ianto’s wounds in silence. “I don’t understand it myself, but Rose – the Doctor’s companion at the time – opened the heart of the TARDIS and absorbed the vortex. She brought me back, but forever. As far as I’m aware, I’m immortal.”

“How long?” Ianto asked, glancing over his shoulder. Jack met his gaze and he saw confusion in Ianto’s eyes, mixed with sadness but no fear. Now Ianto understood, that fear had gone replaced by something more subtle.

“Over one hundred years,” Jack replied, listening to Ianto’s sharp intake of breath. He smiled at him. “People would love that, I’m sure – but I... one hundred years alone, Ianto. One hundred years alone, everyone I love dying or left behind because they would never understand why I didn’t age.”

“It must have been terrible,” Ianto replied as Jack moved round to treat the wound on his collar bone. “I’m sorry I ran from you, I was...”

“Scared,” Jack finished for him. “I understand, believe me. I was pretty scared myself the first time it happened.”

“As long as you were alive I thought that you might find me again - when I saw you die I realised I’d be his slave forever.” Ianto squeezed his eyes shut, bowing his head. “I’m sorry I...” a sob escaped his lips. “But I was more upset that I’d never see you again, that you ‘d left me.”

Jack drew Ianto into his arms then, placing a kiss on his forehead. “I promise you, Ianto, I will never leave you,” he whispered. “Not unless I have no other choice.”


	29. Chapter 29

Ianto had cried into Jack’s shoulder for the best part of half an hour. Jack had held him close, rubbing his hand up and down his back and urging him to let it out. Ianto had, all his built up fear and pain released by the thought that he could lose Jack, would lose Jack once he returned home. He was still certain that he wanted to go home but he knew he would miss Jack and the Doctor.

Finally, becoming aware that Jack’s t-shirt was wet, he pulled away. “I... I’m sorry, I...” He swallowed. “I didn’t mean to get all emotional on you.”

Jack smiled. “I really don’t mind.” He cupped Ianto’s face in his hand. “But it’s all over now, you’re safe.”

Ianto frowned. “No,” he sighed. “At the back of my neck there’s a chip or something. It tells them who I belong to.” He dropped his gaze. “If they find me again...”

Jack released Ianto, moving to stand behind him. “Bend your head forward,” he urged, running his fingers over the back of his skin. “There is something there,” he confirmed, lingering on one spot. He moved away and began to rummage in one of the cupboards. Ianto turned to watch him, eyes widening as Jack found a scalpel and turned back towards him. “Hey,” Jack said, running a hand over his shoulders. “It’ll be okay, it doesn’t look like it’s too deep inside so I’m going to try and remove it. Just keep very still.”

Ianto frowned, eyes not leaving the sharp metal in Jack’s hand. He wanted that nowhere near his skin. He slid his eyes up to Jack’s, shaking his head. Jack sighed, something that sounded like frustration and Ianto immediately felt guiltier, dropping his gaze.

Jack’s hand landed on his shoulder. “I know you don’t like it, Ianto, but I should get it out of you. Trust me, okay, I won’t hurt you.”

Ianto nodded, and moved his head forward again, giving Jack access to the back of his neck. He gripped the bench with both hands, biting his lip as Jack slid the scalpel over his neck. It was over quickly, Jack pressing something to the back of his neck to stop the bleeding. The scalpel he dropped on the bench, holding his hand out to Ianto. On the palm was a small chip. Ianto picked it up, turning it over in his hand. Then, he picked it up between forefinger and thumb and squeezed, snapping the chip in two.

Jack smiled. “There now – you’re safe. Now, let me finish treating your wounds.” He picked up the roll of bandages and began to bind Ianto’s chest. “You know, you were brilliant out there, you really looked out for yourself.”

“I killed him,” Ianto said. “How can you be proud of a murderer?”

He sighed, he hated that Jack had accepted that he was a murderer so easily. He had killed Talomi, that was unforgivable and yet, Jack had found that quite easy to do. He deserved to be locked up, to be punished but Jack was refusing to do so.

“I’m proud that you defended yourself,” Jack confirmed. “And I don’t blame you for killing him, anyone would see that it was self defence.” He tied the bandages and helped Ianto climb from the bench. “Like it or not Ianto - I am proud of you.”

“I don’t understand...” Ianto began, but Jack cut him off.

“If you had known some of the things I have done in my life, you would. People have forgiven me and I can do that for you.” Jack told him. “I’m not going to tell you, because I don’t want you to think badly of me – but they’re things I regret now. When people have forgiven me – how could I not forgive you?”

Besides, you’ve done worse yourself and I’ve forgiven you.

Ianto nodded, but he was far from convinced. He could believe that Jack had killed but never for selfish motives like Ianto had. He didn’t believe the events had been recent – Jack would never harm anyone without good reason, Ianto was certain of that.

“You’re a better man than he ever was, Ianto Jones,” Jack said, holding out his hand to Ianto. “The Doctor would tell you the same. We’ll get cleaned up and then go and see him.”

***

The evening passed quickly. Jack didn’t dare leave Ianto alone; guilt did things to people, Ianto especially. There had been numerous times when Ianto had blamed himself for something and it had always taken ages or Jack to convince Ianto that he shouldn’t let the guilt grip him.

The Doctor had spoken with Ianto too, and Jack was sure he had made an impression, but the guilt was still plain on Ianto’s face. Jack had kept an eye on him, ensuring he ate enough at dinner and that he showed no signs of collapsing. It was clear Ianto was close to exhausted after the day’s events but Jack knew he wouldn’t admit it. Talomi would only have allowed him to retire when it suited him –Ianto was still following old rules that had been ingrained in him. Jack knew it would take a while to break Ianto’s old habits but the progress Ianto had made already was heartening.

He leant across the table to where Ianto was trying to listen to what Clara and Felix were telling him but slowly but surely falling asleep.

“Ianto, you look exhausted,” he said. “Do you want to get some sleep?”

Ianto glanced across at him and nodded. Slowly, and with Jack’s help, he raised himself to his feet. The pair of them said goodnight before heading out of the kitchen towards their bedrooms.

Jack left Ianto at his door, and then slipped into his own room. Sinking down on the bed he let out a sigh. Sleep would not come easy tonight, he was too worried about Ianto. Truthfully, he hadn’t slept well since losing Ianto to the Rift. He had never slept easily when alone; the nightmares came so much easier.

He didn’t know how long he had lay there, absently flicking through a book, before he was distracted by a small knock on the door.

“Come in!” he called, propping himself up on one elbow. When Ianto slipped in, eyes wide and fearful, Jack wasn’t surprised. He shifted over on the bed and beckoned him over. Ianto came immediately, perching nervously on the bed.

“You alright?” Jack asked when Ianto had been silent for so long.

Ianto turned to meet his gaze. “He’s there every time I close my eyes. He won’t leave me alone – I think this must be my punishment for killing him.”

Jack shifted on the bed, seating him beside Ianto and sliding his arms around him. “The nightmares won’t last forever, Ianto,” he said, “But while they do, why don’t you stay here.”

Ianto smiled up at him, shyly. “You wouldn’t mind?”

“Of course not,” Jack replied. “I like the company.”

He guided Ianto back along the bed until he was lying down atop the covers. Shifting his book to one side Jack manoeuvred himself so he was lying beside Ianto but not quite touching him then dimmed the lights.

“Thank you for letting me stay, it really is more than I deserve,” Ianto murmured, “I just... didn’t want to be alone.”

“That’s something I can understand,” Jack murmured. “When you’ve been alive over a century, you get used to loneliness.” He felt Ianto’s eyes on him, so he continued, “It’s the company I miss most of all, the not being alone. The nights are the worst, when the darkness closes in on you and you remember everything you’ve done and there’s no one to cling to, no one to hold it back.”

He felt the bed dip as Ianto moved closer to him. He murmured, “Is there anything I can do?”

It took Jack a moment to realise Ianto was asking for kindness’ sake, not a necessity to please. He rolled onto his side to study Ianto in the dim light. “You know, you really are a wonderful person, Ianto. Everything you’ve been through and you still care. You still want to look after everyone else even though they should be looking after you.” He swallowed. “There’s nothing you can do for me though, you being here is enough for now – and after that, well, there’s nothing I can ask of you.”

He saw the confusion flicker over Ianto’s face. Then he smiled, deciding that the truth – or at least some form of it – would be best here.

“I’d ask you to stay with me, for a little while longer,” he admitted, “But I promised to take you home and I won’t change that.” He met Ianto’s gaze. “You’re not going to want anything more to do with me then and I think I’m really going to miss you.”

It was the last part that was a lie. He knew he would miss Ianto. He heard Ianto’s sharp intake of breath and smiled, knowing that a lie was better than a truth that would no doubt startle Ianto.

“I...” Ianto faltered. “I’ll miss you too,” he admitted. “You and the Doctor, you’re the only people who’ve been kind and if my family turn me away... I wouldn’t know where to go. Even if they didn’t, I still don’t think I could tell them... They would hate me if they found out I’d killed someone.”

“I’m sure they wouldn’t,” Jack said. “But I don’t mind staying in Cardiff for a while, if you’d like? I’ve got a place I can stay and it would mean you weren’t completely alone.”

Back home, Jack retained the smallest hope that Ianto would remember, prompted by familiarity. If he did, Jack wanted to be nearby.

“I’d like that,” Ianto admitted. “But why would you leave all this for me?”

He sounded troubled, as if Jack was playing a trick on him. Jack bit back the urge to sigh; Ianto’s mistrust was still understandable. Jack had hoped Ianto trusted him but not telling him about his immortality had clearly put a large dent in that trust.

Jack shrugged, “I’ve got a thousand lifetimes, and you’ve only got one. I can do this whenever I want; for now I want to make sure you’re okay. I might be able to help you get those memories back for one thing.”

Ianto shook his head. “I’m not sure I want them back – I was a slave. Why would I want to remember that?”

“You don’t know that for sure,” Jack replied. “That is what you were told but you can’t be certain. They might have made you forget those years to punish you or control you. You might have forgotten a good life, where you had a good job, friends and a loving partner.”

It was a fight to control the tremor in his voice; he gazed deep into Ianto’s eyes not even daring to hope that he could have triggered something. Truth was, he had been so certain that dying and reviving would trigger Ianto’s memories that, now that it hadn’t, he really didn’t believe they would return. There was nothing more shocking and memorable than his immortality and if that didn’t work…

“You think that could be true?” Ianto asked. He looked even more distressed at that prospect. “What if I did have a wife and kids and now I don’t even remember them? Jack – how am I meant to face them?”

Jack considered telling him the truth then but dismissed it just as quickly as he realised that the chances of Ianto believing him were, even now, very slim. Instead he drew Ianto into his arms.

“We’ll deal with that when we come to it,” he assured Ianto.

They would, Jack knew, because sooner or later he felt he would have to confess all to Ianto – and he didn’t want to begin to imagine the backlash.

Jack woke the next morning with Ianto still wrapped in his arms. It wasn’t a peaceful awakening, but the disturbance was unclear until he glanced at the door and saw the Doctor leaning there, leaning in the doorway and smiling.

“You’re getting lax, Jack. I’ve been stood here at least five minutes.” The Timelord chided, “Although it was a very nice sight. He’s really coming on strong, isn’t he?”

“I think he just likes the comfort as much as anything,” Jack admitted, untangling himself from Ianto. “I was the first person to show him any and now he comes to me for it. He would do it to anyone else, I’m sure.”

“Oh that might be so,” the Doctor admitted, “But I think there’s a little bit of his subconscious that remembers you and loves you.” He paused looking thoughtful. “I’ve been kind enough to him, and offered him comfort but he doesn’t seek me out. It’s you he goes to, even now. He must love you a lot, Jack.”

Jack couldn’t meet the Doctor’s gaze. He knew Ianto had loved him but didn’t think that he deserved it, not the amount of love Ianto was capable of giving anyway.

“Did you actually want something or did you just come to watch us sleep?” he asked, in a deliberate change of subject. “Because that’s just a little creepy after you’ve turned me down all those times.”

The Doctor rolled his eyes. “You could at least stop flirting when you’ve got another man in your bed, you know. That’s just rude. As a matter of fact I came to wake you up. We’ll be landing on Elucidium in just under an hour, I thought I’d give you both time to get ready.”

“Elucidium?” Jack asked. “Doctor, I promised we’d take Ianto home, this had better not turn into another disaster!”

“It won’t, don’t worry – and we’ll take Ianto home straight after, I just thought he’d appreciate a trip somewhere safe – besides, Clara and Felix really need to get home.” The Doctor chided. “Now, hurry up and get yourselves up and dressed – I don’t intend on waiting for you, you know.”

He hurried out of the room. Jack glanced down at Ianto who was just beginning to stir. Jack shook his shoulder lightly.

“Come on, time to wake up,” he murmured, smiling in sympathy when Ianto gazed up at him. “The Doctor’s taking the Elucidi home,” he told Ianto, smiling at the look of worry that flitted across his face. “Don’t worry; he says nothing is going to happen this time. One nice short trip and then home.

“How are you feeling this morning?” he asked as he helped Ianto sit up. “Still hurting?”

Ianto nodded. “A little, but it’s much better than yesterday.” He climbed to his feet and started to head to the door. Halfway across the room he paused, glancing back at Jack. “Thank you for letting me stay last night.”

“Any time,” Jack responded. “I mean that.”

Ianto hesitated as if he was going to say more, but then turned away and headed from the room.

 

Later, when he was showered and changed, Jack headed down to the console room. He arrived halfway through a very enthusiastic conversation between Clara and the Doctor. Jack couldn’t quite gather what it was they were talking about so he headed over to join Felix and Ianto who were watching in amusement and confusion respectively.

“Is he always like this?” Felix asked as Jack leant against the railings.

Jack nodded. “Oh yes, especially when he finds someone who understands him better than lowly mortals like me and Ianto, here.” He motioned to the crystal Felix held in the palm of his hand. “I see you found what you were after.”

”our Doctor had one to spare. He really is quite an amazing man.” He shook his head. “Clara was up talking to him until late last night – and then she was communicating with this ship.”

“She’s wonderful!” Clara gushed as she came over to join them.

The Doctor chuckled. “I think she likes you too. You’ll have to watch this one Felix, I might just take her with me.”

Felix frowned. “You’d better leave her be,” he protested, much to Clara’s amusement. She laughed, placing a hand on his arm.

“I wouldn’t go, I’ve got work to do at home, and you know that.” She glanced around at the Doctor. “How long until we get there?”

“Not long now – I’d say we were actually nearly there...”

The TARDIS shuddered suddenly, sending everyone staggering about. Jack grabbed hold of Ianto, pulling him against his chest to stop him falling and grabbing hold of the railings.

“Everyone okay?” the Doctor called out as the TARDIS steadied herself again. “I think we’ve hit the shielding around Elucidium – we were closer than I thought or perhaps the barriers go further out... anyway, Clara, can you get us inside?”

Clara had already straightened up and gone over to the screen. Felix hurried over to stand beside her sliding his hand into hers. The Doctor moved to hover over their shoulders. Ianto pulled away from Jack and followed to hover at the Doctor’s side.

“The Elucidi will be the only people who can get through the barriers,” Jack explained quietly to Ianto as Clara closed her eyes, mouth moving silently. Within moments she had stepped back and the TARDIS was moving again.

The Doctor let out a cheer. “Brilliant! Didn’t think it could be done so quickly! Next stop – Elucidium!”

Jack met his gaze over the console, sharing none of his enthusiasm.

“I hope nothing goes wrong this time,” he said, knowing that when the Doctor was concerned, it probably would do.


	30. Chapter 30

The landing on Elucidium was, for once, smooth. The Doctor pulled the door open, stepping aside to allow Felix and Clara to leave the TARDIS first. He followed them quickly, leaving Jack and Ianto alone in the TARDIS.

“Shall we go?” Jack asked, placing a hand on Ianto’s shoulder. To his surprise, Ianto pulled away. It wasn’t overly noticeable but Jack still felt the brush off keenly. He tried not to let the hurt show on his face as he turned to Ianto, who was looking straight ahead and not at him.

Jack swallowed, trying to remember if Ianto had met his gaze since leaving his room that morning – nothing sprung to mind. Jack had no idea what he might have done to deserve the cold shoulder. Ianto had seemed to be fine about his immortality, sympathetic even. Was this his guilt speaking – or was it something else entirely?

Jack didn’t try to touch Ianto again as they left the TARDIS. They stepped out into a beautiful land, like something from a fairytale. The sky was a perfect blue and the grass green. The gentle breeze did nothing to detract from the warm sun but rustled the leaves in the trees. Flowers grew all around in every colour imaginable and just ahead rose a large and palatial building that seemed to be made out of rubies.

“The High seat of the Prominent and the council!” Clara explained with a smile. “Isn’t it beautiful?”

Beautiful didn’t even begin to describe it. Jack was awestruck. This was paradise. He turned to Ianto and smiled, catching his eye only briefly before Ianto turned away again, emotions indistinguishable on his face.

They started walking towards the palace, Ianto leaving a few paces between Jack and himself. They hadn’t gone far when they were approached by a group of people. All had the same pale skin and purple hair as Felix and Clara and wore long, flowing robes. They slowed as the group approached, smiling as the females embraced Clara and the men slapped Felix on the back.

“Who are these people?” one of the women said eventually, as if seeing the Doctor and his companions for the first time. “We do not allow outsiders on our planet - but we can make an exception for those travelling with you.”

Clara smiled. “We managed to get ourselves into a terrible situation. We were captured by slavers and imprisoned.” Her announcement caused many cries of alarm from the Elucidi. “We would never have escaped if it were not for the Doctor and his friends, Jack and Ianto.”

She indicated each of them in turn. The Elucidi gathered around to greet them, shaking their hands and thanking them for their help in bringing the twins home. Finally one of the women, her hair almost whitened from age, stepped forward. “My name is Minerva; I am attendant to the Prominent. We should be glad if you would join us tonight. We will be hosting a great party – it would please everyone if you would be guests of honour.”

“Ooh!” the Doctor said, “I do love a party! We’d love to be there! Will there be some of those little sausages on sticks? I love those – ingenious!”

They began to head back towards the palace, the Doctor chatting eagerly to the Elucidi. Jack hung back to walk beside Ianto.

“Are you alright, Ianto?” he asked eventually. “Have I done something to offend you?”

Ianto looked up at him a little startled. “I’m fine, Jack. Honestly, you’ve done nothing.”

He smiled, albeit a little tightly, then turned away, avoiding Jack’s attempts to touch him once more. Jack bit back his frustration, more certain than before that he’d done something wrong, and Ianto – being too polite or too afraid – wouldn’t admit it. He would get to the bottom of this, though, he was equally certain of that. The feeling that he had hurt Ianto was troubling, and not one he wanted to hold onto long.

 

They were led across the grounds towards the palace. The building was even more awe-inspiring close up, the red a thousand different shades and glittering in the sunlight. The beauty was lost on Jack, however, as he was reliving last night’s conversations with Ianto to work out what he had said that was wrong.

Eventually they were taken into a small room; many of the Elucidi left but a few, including Minerva, remained. The attendant summoned a servant and asked him to bring refreshments and to ask the head of staff to see her later. The servant nodded and hurried away. Jack sank onto a sofa beside Ianto, trying not to let his dismay show when he edged away from him.

The conversation was kept light while they ate and Jack didn’t try hard to involve himself. Ianto was quiet too, sipping on the cup of tea he had been given and not meeting anyone’s gaze. Jack was about to speak to him again when Clara approached, crouching down beside Ianto and saying something to him in an undertone. Ianto frowned and set his cup aside as he got up to follow her. Jack’s first instinct was to follow them but seeing them only step outside onto a small balcony he decided to give them a little privacy – they wouldn’t be discussing anything terrible, anyway. He shook his head; what he really needed was some time alone to get his thought in order.

 

“What was it you wanted to talk about?” Ianto asked as Clara closed the door behind them. He stepped up to the railing, gazing out at the beautiful gardens.

“I want to know why you’re pushing Jack away,” she said, coming to stand beside him.

Ianto glanced over, startled for a moment before remembering that she was empathic. He dropped his gaze. “It’s...”

Clara cut him off, “You don’t hate him, he isn’t at fault – I can tell that. Just as I can tell you’re feeling very guilty and disgusted at yourself. In fact, you’re feelings towards Jack are quite the reverse of hatred – you care for him a great deal, and I know he feels the same.”

Ianto blushed, closing his eyes. “I don’t deserve the way he treats me. I’ve done... terrible things.”

Clara raised an eyebrow. “Terrible things like... oh!” she placed her hand over her mouth. “The man who took you away. You were the one who killed him, not Jack!”

Ianto looked up, fear coursing through him. Was he going to be punished? Clara must have sensed his fear though, because she covered his hand with her own.

“Don’t worry Ianto, I won’t tell anyone.” She smiled. “Besides, I can feel the guilt and the disgust that you feel for yourself. That speaks volumes – no one can have emotions like that if they are truly evil. If you hadn’t killed him, then what would he have done?”

“Taken me away,” Ianto admitted. “Made me his slave again.”

Clara nodded. “Exactly - so what you did was to protect yourself, wasn’t it? To protect anyone else he would have hurt. I may not have known that man, but anyone who can support slavery is not someone I would like. Maybe he did deserve death.”

“That’s what Jack said, and the Doctor.”

“They’re clever men,” Clara reminded him, “And I think you should listen to them. You are not evil, Ianto. Far from it.” She smiled. “Now, is this why you’ve been treating Jack harshly?”

Ianto shook his head then looked away again. “He said he would miss me. I don’t want him to be hurt when we have to part. He’s lost so many people, I wouldn’t want him to care about me that much – I don’t want to hurt him.”

“I think it’s a bit late to stop him caring about you, Ianto,” Clara told him. “And you’re hurting him now, by pulling away. He really thinks he’s done something wrong and he feels terrible about it.”

“He hasn’t!” Ianto protested, feeling a twinge of guilt grip his heart. He glanced back to the room, but Jack had disappeared. “I should talk to him, explain.”

Clara nodded. “Yes, you should.” She shook her head. “Honestly, you men can be so foolish sometimes.” She smiled at Ianto. “Come on, I’ll get someone to take you to your rooms and you can think about what you’re going to say to him.”

She pulled open the door and led the way back into the palace. Ianto followed in her wake wondering how he could ever begin to make this up to Jack.

***

“Of all the stupid, ridiculous inventions!” Jack snapped, tossing the strip of fabric down on the bed. Try as he might, he was unable to tie the bowtie around his neck. Whoever it was that had first made them really did deserve a good ass-kicking.

The fact he was expected to change for this party was bad enough; the suit was a further annoyance, made worse by his inability to put it on. Ianto would be able to help him, but Jack hadn’t seen him all day and still believed that Ianto was avoiding him.

The thought of Ianto brought another wave of sadness over him; Ianto would look fabulous tonight - he always had done in a suit - and Jack hated the fact he would be unable to touch him, unable to hold him with Ianto in his current state of mind. He sighed, flopping on the bed and picking up his tie to attempt it again. No sooner had he thought himself finished, the tie fell apart. With a wordless rage-filled cry, Jack tore the tie from his neck and tossed it to the ground.

He sat there in silence for a moment or two, trying to slow his heartbeat and control his breathing. Then a small tap at the door pushed through his anger.

“Yeah?” he called out, instantly regretting his anger as Ianto poked his head around the door, looking not a little nervous.

“Are you okay?” Ianto asked, stepping into the room. Jack let out a small gasp as he saw him. Ianto was dressed in a beautiful black three piece suit with a white shirt and bowtie. It fit perfectly, clinging to him in a way that sent Jack’s mind back to Torchwood and made him wish that Ianto was wearing anything but a suit.

“Jack?”

He snapped his gaze back to Ianto, realising he had been staring. “Oh, I...” he held up the undone bowtie. “I can’t do my tie.”

He smiled hopefully, shoulders sagging in relief as Ianto moved forward, taking the material off him and placing it around his neck.

“I thought you were avoiding me?” Jack asked, trying not to let his emotion become too obvious. Ianto flushed red, much to Jack’s surprise.

“I’m sorry,” he said eventually. “I didn’t mean to... I mean, it wasn’t anything you did.” He caught Jack’s eyes. “Last night when you said you would miss me... I don’t want to hurt you – you’ve lost so many people and I don’t want to be one of them. I wanted to stop you caring about me before it was too late. I don’t want to hurt you when we part.”

Jack smiled, capturing Ianto’s hands in his and pulling them from his finished bowtie. “I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you.”

“I’m the one who doesn’t deserve your friendship,” Ianto said quietly. “I tried to make things better for you and I only ended up hurting you more.”

Jack rubbed his thumb over Ianto’s knuckles. “I know, but believe me Ianto – I’d rather live knowing you and being your friend than never have known you at all. It’ll be painful one day, but at least I’ll have the memories.” He smiled and admitted, “And I already care about you too much to go back. I couldn’t stop even if I tried.”

He was about to continue when the Doctor burst in, waving his own tie in the air. “How on earth are you meant to do these things? They’re impossible!”

Ianto smiled and stepped away from Jack. “I could do it, if you’d like?”

As the Doctor handed over his tie, Jack chuckled. “You’re how old and still can’t do a bowtie? Most brilliant mind I’ve ever met and you can’t do that.”

“Oi!” the Doctor protested. “It’s difficult!”

Ianto glanced between Jack and the Doctor. “If you had come in any earlier, you would have seen me doing his too.”

“Ha!” the Doctor laughed, just as Jack moaned.

“Ianto!” he grinned at the Welshman. “I was trying to get one up on him!” He shrugged. “We should probably head downstairs though, being the guests of honour and all.”

“Oh yes,” the Doctor agreed. “I’ve not been a guest of honour in such a long time, far too used to sneaking into places – this feels quite strange.”

***

The party was in full swing. Ianto, however, was feeling very uncomfortable. He was sitting alone at the edge of the dance floor watching the couples enjoying themselves. A part of him would love to join them, but who with? Jack was the only person he could imagine dancing with but even that didn’t feel quite right. Jack – despite having offered to – wouldn’t want to dance with him, not when he had so many better prospects.

He had told Jack he had no problems with him dancing but refused all offers himself. Jack, on the other hand, had danced with everyone who had offered and more besides. Ianto had to wonder if he had forgotten all about him. The others certainly seemed to have. The Doctor was chatting to a group of Elucidi council members and Clara was dancing with a young man, Felix glaring at him as they twirled across the dance floor.

The room was hot and quite stuffy, packed with people Ianto didn’t know and who didn’t know him. Deciding to get some air, Ianto got to his feet and made his way across the room towards one of the balconies looking over the gardens.

He had been stood there for only a few minutes when he heard movement behind him. Glancing over his shoulder he smiled as he met Jack’s gaze. He smiled and came to stand beside Ianto. Leaning his arms on the railing he looked up at Ianto.

“It’s a little warm in there, isn’t it?” Jack commented. “Doesn’t help that I’m being danced off my feet.”

“Yes,” Ianto replied, glancing up at Jack. He looked away almost immediately, startled by the appraising look Jack was giving him. The slight smile on Jack’s lips made him look beautiful. Not for the first time, Ianto found himself wondering what it would be like for Jack to kiss him. Somehow he doubted it would be anything like Talomi’s kisses.

“I didn’t tell you how beautiful you looked tonight, did I?” Jack asked, that smile still on his lips. “Because you really are beautiful.”

Ianto blushed, shaking his head slightly. Jack was the beautiful one, not him. How could Jack even think that? Ianto didn’t think much of his looks, especially not when they were compared to Jack’s.

“I’m nothing compared to you,” he answered after a moment. “I’m not beautiful at all.”

“Oh, but you are,” Jack replied taking a step closer. “Every inch of you is beautiful - your skin, your hair, your lips, your hands, your eyes – especially your eyes.” He smiled. “Such a beautiful colour of blue.” He took another step closer, sliding his fingers into Ianto’s. “I want to kiss you, Ianto. Can I kiss you?”

 

Jack didn’t know where that had come from. All he could guess was that it was borne of lust and the long restrained desire to hold Ianto and just kiss him. A desire he had repressed for fear of scaring Ianto. Now, seeing Ianto in a suit had become too much for him. He swallowed, managing to meet Ianto’s eyes and finding a small amount of delight at the confusion – and lack of revulsion – there.

“Why?” Ianto asked quietly. “Why would you want to?”

Jack shrugged, reaching out and taking Ianto’s hand in his. “Because you’re beautiful and I’ve wanted to do it for days now.”

“Oh,” Ianto said before meeting Jack’s gaze again. “But you could kiss anyone in there. Why me?”

“Because you’re you,” Jack told him, managing to work up a little courage. “Well, can I? Please?”

Ianto nodded, but he was clearly a little nervous about the situation. That was understandable, Jack supposed, after everything Ianto had been through. The thought of doing anything sexual must have been a daunting prospect.

Deciding to be quick, Jack stepped closer, brushing his lips over Ianto’s in a gentle, chaste kiss. Their lips touched briefly once and when Jack felt no resistance from Ianto he kissed him again, lingering a little longer on his lips this time.

Pulling back he smiled at Ianto, who was bright red. “So?”

“It was nice,” he replied, brushing his thumb over his lips. He glanced up at Jack almost timidly, but the words didn’t even need to be said. Jack kissed Ianto again, this time feeling a small thrill of success as Ianto’s lips moved against his and his hands came up to land on his waist.

Jack knew not to press it further when they parted again, instead he gestured to the room behind them where a new song was starting up, taking a step back he flourished a bow and held his hand out to Ianto.

“May I have this dance?”

Ianto nodded and took the hand, letting Jack lead him into the centre of the dance floor before he turned and pulled Ianto flush against him. He dropped one of his hands to Ianto’s hips, urging Ianto to mirror the position while the other hand captured Ianto’s and pulled it between them, resting just above their hearts.

They swayed in time to the music, Jack content to be close to Ianto, close enough to feel his heart beat beneath the layers of clothes. His head rested against Ianto’s as he mouthed the words so quietly that only Ianto could hear them.

“All that I want is, to hold you so close...”

As the song continued, Jack became a little more dramatic in his steps, drawing Ianto around the dance floor before dropping him into a large dip, pressing a small kiss to his lips before bringing him up again and resuming the previous steps.

 

Ianto gasped for breath as the song ended and Jack moved them effortlessly into the position they had started in. He grinned at Jack, unable to believe how safe he still felt in Jack’s arms, how wonderful he had felt being pulled around the dance floor by Jack – how wonderful to be kissed by him.

When Jack had kissed him Ianto had felt everything else melt away. He wasn’t a slave or a whore, he wasn’t pathetic or worthless, he was just Ianto. And when Jack had pulled him onto the dance floor it had truly felt like he and Jack were the only people in the room.

Resting his head on Jack’s shoulder, he murmured, “You’re a good dancer.”

Jack’s reply was lost as a new, slower song started up. It was one Ianto knew and as the singer came in Ianto felt a prickling sense of déjà vu.

 

You do something to me, something deep inside.

A wedding. A dance to this song. Cutting in as Jack danced with the bride ... Gwen. Rhys. The Nostrovites. Owen. Toshiko. Torchwood.

Ianto jerked away from Jack, as more memories began to appear.

Canary Wharf burning, metal men and a woman half encased in metal. Lisa – oh God, Lisa. An empty warehouse, a pterodactyl, Jack. Cannibals, a knife to his throat, Jack bursting through the wall on a tractor. Jack kissing him. Jack holding him close. Jack lying beside him in bed whispering filth into his ear. Jack fucking him. Him fucking Jack.

Jack was in so many of the memories. Memories that Ianto had never imagined, but that involved Jack. He had known Jack before all this. He had loved Jack. And Jack ...

Jack had kept the truth from him for reasons Ianto couldn’t understand. He took another step back, avoiding Jack’s hands and ignoring his words. Why hadn’t Jack told him? The memories kept on coming, some worse than others but so many containing Jack. Jack who stood before him looking more than concerned. Jack who had lied.

Ianto shook his head as Jack advanced once more. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he whispered. “Why?”

He didn’t wait for an answer. The memories were overwhelming and he needed some time alone, needed time to think, to adjust to the new memories and come to terms with everything. He suddenly didn’t want to hear Jack’s excuses – he had thought him different and yet he was just as much a liar as Ianto had imagined.

He turned and ran.


	31. Chapter 31

“Ianto!”

Jack pushed through the crowds, desperate to find Ianto and explain. He had remembered, Jack was sure of it. Nothing else could explain his words, his expression. Why didn’t you tell me? Why hadn’t he? He should have done but he was too afraid of not being believed, of having Ianto hate him. Now, Ianto had remembered and run from him, Jack didn’t want to know what Ianto was thinking of him right then.

Reaching the door, he wasn’t overly surprised to feel a hand on his arm, tugging him back. He whirled to face the Doctor.

“He’s remembered, hasn’t he?”

“Yes! I have to go after him,” Jack tried to pull away but the Doctor, despite his build, had a surprisingly strong grip.

“No, you have to give him some time alone,” the Doctor said. “You need to let his mind readjust without complicating things.” He sighed and released Jack’s hand. “Come on, let’s go and explore the grounds.”

Jack hesitated. “But... Ianto...”

“Will probably head back to the TARDIS,” the Doctor answered. “He’ll come to you when he’s ready.”

Jack sighed; he did understand the Doctor’s logic. Ianto had run from him, after all; maybe it was better to let him calm down. Sticking his hands in the pockets of his jacket he followed the Doctor through the palace and into the gardens. They walked in silence for a moment, the Doctor pausing to admire the flowers as he led Jack to a small wooden bench placed beneath a large tree. Sitting down, he patted the bench to get Jack to join him.

“He’s got a lot to sort out in his mind,” the Doctor said quietly. “He’s got to reacquaint himself with who he is and then adjust to everything that’s happened to him over these last few years. He’s got to figure out your place in his life again – and I can’t say that it’ll help that you’ve hidden this from him.”

Jack nodded. “I know, you were probably right all along – if I’d told him the truth.”

“You don’t know what would have happened, you may have been right – he might not have believed you. And you were only being kind in keeping some of the worse memories from him. He’ll understand why eventually.”

Jack nodded. “When I thought of him remembering I imagined him falling into my arms and letting me hold him – I never thought he would run from me.”

The Doctor laid a hand on Jack’s arm. “And he’ll come back to you, Jack. He’ll need you. Right now he needs space and time but he’ll need you soon. You will have to be there for him when he does, but you can’t pressure him.”

“I know that!” Jack said. “I suppose you’re going to say I told you so, too,” he added, half under his breath.

“Well, I did say you should be honest,” the Doctor replied, “But I wasn’t going to say anything.” He smiled slightly. “You should know by now that I’m always right.”

Jack managed a small laugh. “You really think he’ll let me back in?”

“You’re the only person whose going to understand half of what happened to him in the past. He’ll need you, Jack, and he loves you. That’s got to count for a lot.”

“I know,” Jack admitted, and he did. He should have been honest with Ianto from the moment he first suspected Ianto was beginning to trust him. That didn’t change anything though, Ianto would still need him. Jack was one of the few people who could clarify Ianto’s memories, who could help him through it. Ianto would come to him eventually; Jack just hoped he could forgive him for his deception and that they could go back to how they had been before.

The Doctor was right; Ianto would need time to reconcile with his memories. Plenty of time, Jack guessed, as Ianto’s memories weren’t those of a usual man in his twenties. There was so much pain and death that Jack knew that he would be needed. When you looked at everything Ianto had been through since being stolen by the Rift it just made the situation far more painful. Jack rose to his feet.

“I think I’m going to head back to the TARDIS myself,” he said, wanting to be close to Ianto even if he couldn’t comfort him. He got up, taking a couple of steps away from the Doctor before glancing back. “I’ll leave him alone, I just want to be close to him.”

The Doctor nodded and Jack hurried away towards the TARDIS. He couldn’t help but worry about Ianto as he crossed through the gardens. It would have been nice, he thought, to take Ianto out here and tell him everything. That was what he should have done but his chance had been taken from him. Sinking deeper into the melancholy that had gripped him he hurried back towards the TARDIS.

He pushed his way through the TARDIS doors and strolled along the corridors. By the time he reached the doors to his and Ianto’s rooms, however, the Doctor’s advice seemed useless. He hesitated, placing his hand on Ianto’s door before moving forward to rest his forehead against the wood.

“Ianto?” he called, “Are you in there?”

There was no answer, but Jack knew that Ianto was there. He pushed himself up, but kept his hand on the door.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I know I should have but... it’s complicated... I... I didn’t think I could have told you.” After a moment, he continued, “I’m sorry … Please, Ianto, come and talk to me.”

There was still only silence. Jack sighed and moved away from the door.

“I’ll be in my room, if you want me,” he called before slipping into his own room, closing the door behind him and leaning back against it. His head fell back and he sighed.

“You’ve really messed up this time, Harkness,” he muttered.

***

Ianto wrapped his arms tight around himself and buried his face into his knees, listening to Jack move away from the door. A part of him wanted Jack to come back, wrap him in his arms and tell him everything would be okay but an even larger part wanted to be as far away from Jack as possible. He needed time. He needed to reassess his memories, his life, who he was before he could even consider finding Jack’s place in the mess that was his life again.

So much had happened, and it was hard for Ianto to believe that his memories really belonged to him. How could he be that man? How could he fight aliens and save the world on a daily basis? He was nothing; he wasn’t brave or clever. He didn’t understand how he could have been the man he remembered. It made a lot of things make more sense though: how he had known almost instinctively how to use a gun; the way he had trusted Jack far sooner than he would anyone else; the way Jack had treated him.

Ianto swallowed a sob. He knew he was hurting Jack by staying away. He didn’t like that; for all Jack had lied and hid the truth Ianto didn’t want to hurt him, especially after everything Jack had done for him. It made him feel guilty. Still, the truth remained that Jack had lied and hid the truth from him, and Ianto didn’t know how to feel about that.

He could understand Jack’s reason, though. He wouldn’t have believed the truth had Jack told him initially. He would have thought it a trick, or a joke: some new cruelty that was intended to hurt. He would never have believed it. But more recently, Ianto felt he would have trusted Jack enough to believe him. Jack must have known that and still kept them from him. He had no right to do that.

It took Ianto a moment to realise the extent of his anger towards Jack. The emotions swirled in his gut: anger, frustration, hurt. They existed in strengths Ianto had almost forgotten. He had long learnt to repress those emotions for fear of punishment but with the return of his memories those barriers had been broken down, his emotions strong, real and fierce. He bit his lip, closing his eyes and evening out his breathing, wanting to calm down before they overwhelmed him.

Burying his face in his knees he counted slowly to ten. Jack had been good to him, he reminded himself. He had been kind and caring. He might have lied and hurt Ianto but he was still better than Talomi. His motives for lying could only be to protect Ianto. Couldn’t they?

Ianto couldn’t help but fear that Jack’s motives had been less than pure. He worried that Jack hadn’t told him so he could mould him into something new. Something more to Jack’s liking.

A sob burst from his throat at that thought. It was a harsh thought; he knew that. Jack had always seemed to love him. Had that been an illusion? You didn’t lie to people you loved, not unless it was for their own good. If Jack had loved him then he almost certainly didn’t now. How could he? Ianto knew what he had become, he was ruined, despoiled – how could anyone love him?

He wasn’t deserving of Jack’s love, not how he was, not when he couldn’t return it in equal measure. Ianto knew he had loved Jack, knew he still did – but not as much as he had. He remembered Jack but the details were flaky. Why he had loved Jack wasn’t unknown – he knew now that he had started loving Jack again over the last few days but what had made it so powerful Ianto didn’t know. He didn’t love Jack nearly as much as he knew he should and that hurt. Hurt because he knew he was hurting Jack, hurt because he knew he wasn’t worthy of Jack’s love until he could return it.

“I’m sorry, Jack,” he murmured, glancing at the wall between their rooms. How could he even imagine going in there now? Not like this, not when he was unsure of where he stood with Jack. Not when Jack had lied. He had thought everything was complicated before but now it was worse. He knew who he was but the memories had given him so many other questions and the one person he had gone to before was now lost to him.

Curling himself tighter into a ball, Ianto gave into his tears.

 

After what seemed like hours later, there was a small knock on the door. “Ianto, it’s the Doctor. Can I come in? Just me, I promise.”

Ianto glanced up blearily, staring at the door. The Doctor had kept the truth from him too, Ianto remembered, but he hadn’t known him like Jack had. The Doctor wouldn’t have known the whole truth and knowing Jack – and that was another thing Ianto couldn’t get used to the fact that he knew and understood Jack’s motives some of the time – knowing Jack, he had probably told the Doctor not to say anything. Ianto felt another flicker of anger towards Jack.

He knew now that he had reason to mistrust the Doctor, there was even the memory of hating the man, of him hurting Jack. Those memories, though Ianto knew them to be true, were not half as clear as the ones of the Doctor being kind to him, of comforting him.

“I’ve brought tea and cake,” the Doctor continued. “I thought you might want something to eat.”

“Come in,” Ianto called, wincing at how hoarse his voice sounded.

He tried for a smile when the Doctor stepped into the room carrying a tray, but it didn’t feel right. Instead he just pushed himself upwards and backed up against the edge of the bed, pulling his knees to his chest. He took the cup the Doctor offered him and sipped gratefully. He had not actually realised how thirsty he was until then.

“Thank you,” he murmured, taking a large bit of the piece of cake the Doctor had given him. Victoria sponge, he realised, his favourite.

“Jack said you’d like that one best,” the Doctor commented. “I think it’s something of a peace offering,” Ianto nodded, taking another bite of the cake. After a moment the Doctor spoke again. “How are you feeling, Ianto.”

“I’m ok,” Ianto replied. “Just coming to terms with everything.” He glanced up, meeting the Doctor’s unbelieving gaze. “OK, so I’m not ... but ... I don’t know what to do, Doctor. Everything is so confusing and I... I don’t know what to do, I’m not even sure who I am anymore.” He let out a choked sob, “I’m sorry... I... I just don’t know what to do.”

The Doctor took the cup from him and pulled him into his arms. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for. This is all perfectly understandable. I’d be more concerned if you weren’t feeling like this.”

Ianto pulled away, taking his cup again and sipping it nervously. “I don’t understand why he didn’t tell me.”

The Doctor shook his head. “Perhaps Jack had better explain that one, although I must say I did tell him that he should tell you the truth.” He frowned. “He would have done, eventually. He was devastated at first, when he realised you didn’t know him. He wanted nothing more than for you to remember – but he wouldn’t tell you. He couldn’t, I think. He was scared you would reject him.”

Ianto hung his head. “I know I wouldn’t have believed him. I’ve been tricked too much to believe something like this.”

“This isn’t a trick, Ianto, Jack loves you.”

“I know,” Ianto replied in a small voice. “That’s what bothers me.” The Doctor made an enquiring noise, so Ianto continued. “I know I should love him in return, I know I did and that I was starting to again. But it’s been a long time – I don’t love him like I know I should.”

The Doctor shook his head. “There is no ‘should’ in love, Ianto. The fact you love him even a little will be enough for Jack – he’ll delight in making you love him completely again, in fact. You have to remember you’ve not seen him in two years, some the little things he remembers clearly will be lost to you: the last time you had sex, the last time he told you that you were beautiful, the last thing he said to you.”

“Oh, I remember that,” Ianto said with a smile. “I remember it kept me going when they took me - until I lost my memories of him, of course. He told me that, ‘I’d better not let anything happen to me,’ and when I asked what he’d do if it did, he said, ‘I’d go to the very ends of the universe for you.’ That was what kept me going, when I thought it couldn’t get any worse. I kept thinking of him and how he’d save me.”

“Perhaps you should tell him tha,.” the Doctor said.

Ianto nodded. “I should, I just... how am I meant to forgive him for this? He didn’t tell me. He lied to me, just like everyone else has in my life. It hurts more than before though, perhaps because I trusted him.”

“And you don’t, now?” the Doctor said. “Ianto, you can trust Jack. He loves you. He didn’t tell you because he didn’t want you to be hurt.”

“And not because he wanted to change me?” Ianto whispered, unable to meet the Doctor’s gaze.

“No!” the Doctor exclaimed. “Ianto, Jack was devastated that he’d lost you, he wanted you back as you were, not how he found you. He would never have tried to change you. He loved you, for who you were - even I could see that.”

Ianto wasn’t convinced, but the Doctor’s words sounded believable enough. He still didn’t believe that Jack could truly still love him, though. Not as he was, not used and weak. “How can he love me then? I’m nothing like the man he fell in love with – he was brave and clever and good at saving the world.” Ianto wiped his eyes furiously. “I’m none of those things, how could he still love me?”

The Doctor smiled. “Ianto, you are those things. You’re braver and cleverer than you think, and Jack loves you. He won’t just stop because of this – he’s got a huge capacity for love, has Jack – and you’re the lucky man he chooses to give his heart too. And I think you love him too, although you try to deny it. Time might have passed, but you still love him – you wouldn’t get so upset at the idea of him not loving you if you didn’t.” He held up a hand to silence Ianto’s protests. “You just need to talk to him, get things off your chest. I think you’ll find he’ll be full of reassurances for you.”

“But I... now?” Ianto asked. He still didn’t feel ready to face Jack, hurt by the lies and deception. He shook his head. “I can’t...”

“Tomorrow, then, when you’re ready,” the Doctor consented. “But speak to him, hear his side of the story – I’m not saying forgive and forget immediately, but try to give him a chance. He needs you and I think you’ll need him too.”

Ianto nodded, draining the rest of his tea. A deep drowsiness was creeping over him even as he handed the cup to the Doctor. He glanced at the Timelord suspiciously.

“Oh, I slipped a little something into the tea to help you sleep. It’ll prevent nightmares too,” the Doctor said. “nothing to worry about, believe me.” He smiled, nodding at Ianto, who by now was struggling to keep his eyes open. “Sleep, now, Ianto. Things will seem better tomorrow.”

The last thing Ianto was aware of was the Doctor helping him lie down and pulling the covers over him, murmuring soft words that could have been ‘I hope’.


	32. Chapter 32

“Morning,” Jack said as he stepped into the kitchen the following day. Ianto, leaning against the cupboards and cradling a cup of coffee in his hands, glanced up before resuming his staring into space.

“Morning,” he replied. “Did you sleep well.”

It was something to say, nothing more, and Jack knew it. He sighed, stepping up to the table and running a hand through his hair. “You know I never could, alone,” he said. “And doesn’t that sound like a bad romantic cliché.”

Ianto glanced over at Jack but didn’t smile. “Don’t, Jack, please,” he murmured. “I can’t just pretend that everything is back to normal, please don’t joke like it is.”

He looked down, biting on his lip and looking so guilty that Jack couldn’t help himself. He took a step forward, holding his hand out to Ianto.

“Hey, come here.”

Ianto stepped away, looking at the hand nervously. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked quietly, unable to meet Jack’s eyes. “I don’t understand. Did you not want me to remember?”

“Of course I did!” Jack replied. “Ianto... I can explain... I really can. I promise you, I wanted you to remember so badly, I wanted you back. But I...” he trailed off and smiled weakly at Ianto. “Can we sit down for this, please? I think I’ll need to.” He turned his best pleading gaze on Ianto. “Is there any chance of some coffee?”

Ianto caught his gaze, as he sat down at the table. “There’s some in the pot, it should still be warm.”

Jack hurried off to pour some of his coffee, adding sugar and cream before taking a seat facing Ianto and taking a sip. He smiled. “Still not as good as when you hand me the cup yourself. I think you add something else to it.”

Ianto smiled half heartedly, but didn’t answer, just studied his coffee intently.

Jack sighed, placing the cup on the table and steepling his fingers before him. “Ianto I didn’t tell you the truth because I was scared of how you would react, that you wouldn’t believe me and think I was being cruel - that you might hate me.” He swallowed and looked down into his coffee.

He glanced up, searching Ianto’s face for some sign of reaction – anything that would tell Jack whether Ianto had taken this well or badly. Ianto’s face, however, was unreadable - no doubt a skill picked up from his tenure in slavery. Just when Jack was about to give up, Ianto spoke.

“I can understand waiting. I wouldn’t have believed you at first. Like you said, I’d have thought you were trying to hurt me. It would have made everything worse.” He shook his head, glancing up at Jack. “But what about later? I was starting to trust you, Jack. Couldn’t you have told me then?”

His breath hitched and he dashed a hand across his eyes to stop a sob escaping. Jack resisted the urge to go to him, knowing it would be far from appreciated. Instead he dropped his gaze, unable to hold Ianto’s for much longer.

“I still didn’t think you would have believed me,” he admitted. “You were starting to trust me and I didn’t want to damage that. Can you imagine how it would have sounded? _‘Hey, Ianto, I’m your long lost boyfriend. You love me very much. Come and give me a hug!’_ You’d have had questions: how we knew each other, that sort of thing. How was I meant to tell you that you were the one who did everything for us? You’d have thought I was just a Master back then too!”

Jack was aware that his voice had become louder and more frantic as he went on. He was also aware that Ianto had gone very pale and begun to tremble. He forced himself to calm down, gripping the edge of the table as he fought to level his breathing.

“I’m sorry,” he said after a moment. “I didn’t mean to shout.” He threaded his hands through his hair and sighed. “Ianto, you gotta know how it would have sounded to you, we were even guilty of treating you like a slave at first - you could only think I was lying or trying to force you into my bed under a false belief. Even without that there was still a chance you wouldn’t have believed me. If you hadn’t it would have damaged your trust in me even more. I couldn’t risk that.”

Ianto looked up, catching his eye. “Jack, you never treated me like a slave. I know what that’s like – and you never did that. You all ignored me but that was my fault as much as yours, I wanted to be ignored and be part of the background as much as I wanted to be included. I was unhappy but I never as felt like I did with Talomi.” He swallowed, chewing on his bottom lip. “You’re probably right, but I still don’t understand. You would have been able to convince me – why didn’t you even try? Did you want to change me into something new? I know I’m not good enough for you, Jack but...”

“You are good enough me for, Ianto. It’s me who doesn’t deserve you – I never have,” Jack said, a hint of sadness in his voice. “And I never wanted to change you. I might have been selfish in not telling you in case you hated me but I also thought that I was trying to protect you.”

“Protect me?” Ianto asked, confused. “How?”

“You’d been through so much without me reminding you of the other stuff – Canary Wharf, the cannibals, losing Tosh and Owen. How could I add all that to your pain?”

Ianto nodded. “They are memories that I wish I didn’t have, but they’re my memories. You should have told me.”

He dropped his gaze, shaking his head.

“I know,” Jack hissed slamming his fist on the table in frustration. “I know I should have, Ianto. I know I’ve been a little free handed with retcon in the past, and now this, but I know not to mess with people’s memories too much. Yes, I should have told you but I was scared, alright! Of what you would do, what you would say, whether telling you would destroy you or make you hate me.” He paused, running his hands through his hair. “I’m missing two years myself, Ianto. I know how it feels to be conflicted about them, to want to know the truth and at the same time fearing it in case its so terrible, that what you did was so horrible that you would hate yourself for it. I know I should have told you, but I didn’t okay. I was scared, for both of us.”

Ianto frowned, then nodded. “Okay, I think I get it. But I think I’m going to need some time alone, is that okay?” He placed his cup on the table and glanced shyly back at Jack. “You don’t mind do you?”

Jack shook his head, trying not to feel a pang of hurt at how Ianto still needed his approval for the slightest of actions. “Go on.” He waved a hand at the door. “You don’t need to ask. You know that.”

He took another sip of his coffee, watching Ianto’s retreating back as he left the room and wanting nothing more than to follow him. He couldn’t, though; he had to allow Ianto time alone, to convince him that he meant well.

***

Ianto wandered the corridors of the TARDIS alone. To say that he was conflicted would be an understatement. He didn’t know what to do, who to turn to. He wanted to rush back to Jack and forgive him everything, falling into his arms like in an old romance movie, but at the same time, Jack had lied to him and hidden his past. Ianto didn’t know if he could trust Jack, and though he believed his explanation a niggling voice at the back of his mind still taunted him with theories of Jack not liking him the way he was, Jack not loving him anymore. Ianto didn’t know where he stood with Jack, though his head told him he still loved him, Ianto’s heart was used to abuse and pain and warned him to keep his distance until he was certain. He couldn’t allow that old love to rekindle in case Jack hurt him again. Jack had hurt him before, it was only too easy to believe he would do so again.

Ianto instantly felt guilty. Jack had treated him with care and love, of course he still loved him in a way. Ianto wasn’t sure how much though, although Jack looked the same as he had done back then Ianto didn’t know how long it had been for Jack since he disappeared. Two years for him could have been two thousand for Jack. Jack might no longer be in love with him but surely he would still love him for old times sake?

He stifled a sob, leaning heavily against the wall. It was surprising how much he wanted Jack to love him. He hadn’t considered that before. A part of him still loved Jack, more and more as more memories reawakened. He knew their love had been passionate and exciting, but also quiet and sweet at times. It had been a spark of normality amidst all the strangeness of Torchwood. Ianto had needed that love and so had Jack. Ianto knew he still needed that love, he craved it more than anything and while he wasn’t quite sure he could return it as quickly as he could receive it he knew he could in time.

If Jack was no longer in love with him though Ianto doubted he could ever regain that. Jack had loved him as he was then: brave, smart and strong. How would he love him as he was now? He was weak, pathetic and used – the antithesis of his former self – how could Jack ever love that? He disgusted himself, how would he ever expect Jack to love him? He wasn’t even worthy of that love.

Even so, Jack did not deserve to have his love and kindness not returned in full. That was as much a reason for Ianto staying away as his mistrust and fears. He didn’t want to see disappointment in Jack’s eyes as he realised he didn’t love him like he should. Ianto did love Jack and knew the parts that didn’t could grow back in time – he had fallen for Jack once, hadn’t he? Still, Jack wouldn’t stay if Ianto couldn’t show him how much he loved him and Ianto couldn’t do that yet. He wouldn’t make Jack suffer before he could show him he loved him in return.

No, as much as a part of him would have liked to, Ianto knew he couldn’t go to Jack. There was too much holding him back and he needed to sort that out before he could return to his embrace.

If he couldn’t go to Jack, Ianto knew there was always the Doctor, but though the Timelord had always been kind to him Ianto was wary of him. He remembered knowing of the Doctor before, of respecting him but also hating him for the way he treated Jack and even a hint of jealousy at the knowledge that Jack didn’t care about that and still answered his every beck and call.

Still, Ianto could put all that aside after spending time with the man, even if there was still a level of distrust. He wondered where the Doctor would be and to his surprise the directions appeared in his mind. It took him a moment to remember that the TARDIS was sentient, and he rubbed his hand over her walls.

“Thanks, girl,” he murmured, taking off in the direction she had indicated.

He found the Doctor in a small library, frantically searching the shelves for something. The Timelord grinned when he entered though, “Ianto! Jack said you were good at finding things, I wonder if you could help me. I’m looking for my Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. It’s been a while since I’ve read some Adams. Brilliant man, you know! Absolutely Brilliant, I’d love to meet him one day, you know, but then they do say never meet your idols.”

Ianto peered at the shelves; they were lined two deep and the books were in no apparent order. He raised an eyebrow and glanced over at the Doctor. “How do you find anything in here?”

The Doctor smiled. “Oh with a lot of patience!” he explained. “And a lot of complaining. Was there something you wanted?”

Ianto nodded, continuing to scour the shelves. “It’s about Jack; he’s told me why he did it.”

The Doctor glanced over. “And? I thought that was what you wanted?”

“It was,” Ianto confirmed. “But now... I’m even more conflicted than before. I think I believe him but there are still doubts and I’m scared that things won’t ever be like they were. That he can’t love me like this.”

“They won’t be the same,” the Doctor said, turning and leaning against the bookshelves. “You’ll change and grow from this. If anything you’ll become closer. And don’t worry about Jack loving you, because he does.”

Ianto nodded. “I can see that but... Doctor, I don’t know how long it has been for him – what if he’s not in love with me anymore and just taking care of me for old times’ sake. It’s been two years for me, how much longer could it be for him.”

“Less than two months, actually, so he’s still very much in love with you and still trying to deal with losing you and the threat of losing you again.”

“Two months?” Ianto said. “But that would mean...”

“That he dropped everything when he lost you, pretty much.” The Doctor shrugged. “He was devastated, phoned me begging to be picked up. Cardiff was hell for him: all those Welsh vowels, all those young men in suits. He needed to leave.”

Ianto nodded, feeling another wave of guilt. He didn’t make a move to go to Jack, though; his thoughts were still confused when it came to the Captain. The Doctor had told him that Jack still loved him - a lot if he was willing to drop everything to escape from the memories of him. Even...

Ianto swallowed as he remembered something else, something Jack had said while they were on Solaxis Major. Jack had retconned Gwen. He had done that so he could leave, because he couldn’t stand to be around memories of Ianto. Ianto couldn’t help but feel guilty and decided that if they ever got back to Earth he would find Gwen and tell her the truth. He wouldn’t let her have the same questions he had suffered for so long. She deserved the truth even if Jack didn’t agree. Closing his eyes Ianto wondered once again if Jack had actually intended on telling him the truth – he had taken Gwen’s memories through a selfish desire to escape – could Ianto really trust that Jack wouldn’t do the same to him again.

He dropped his gaze, his mind filled with many more questions. He needed time to get his thoughts in order and something to distract him from the more pressing ones until he could deal with them. Back at Torchwood he would have disappeared to the archives to think; putting the files in order was soothing and in some way an apt metaphor for what he was doing internally.

But he wasn’t at Torchwood and there were no archives here... unless...

“Doctor, would you mind if I reordered your bookshelves; it would make things easier for you to find?”

The Doctor glanced across. “Ianto, you really don’t have to, it isn’t your job.”

Ianto nodded; of course the Doctor wouldn’t want him messing with his things. “That’s ok,” he answered. “I understand.”

The Doctor frowned. “Although if you want to, if you think it would help you in any way, by all means go ahead – I can’t promise it will stay tidy for long though.” He grinned and plucked a book from the shelf. “Found it!” He turned his gaze back to Ianto in concern. “Are you going to be alright, Ianto?”

Ianto nodded. “I’ll be fine, I just need to think a few things over.” He frowned chewing on his lip. “I hope Jack’s okay though, he didn’t look good when I left him.”

The Doctor smiled. “You’re wonderful, Ianto, you know that? So much going on in your own mind and you can only wonder if Jack’s alright. No wonder that he loves you. I’ll go and find him, see what I can do to cheer him up.”

Not waiting for an answer he turned and headed out of the room. Ianto watched him go before turning back to the shelves with a sigh. This was going to take all day.

***

The Doctor found Jack in the kitchen, staring into the bottom of his empty coffee cup. Stepping up behind him he placed a hand on the Captain’s shoulder.

“How are you, Jack? Ianto’s worried about you.”

Jack smiled wryly. “I’m fine, just unsure what I can do to get him to believe me. How is he?”

“Rearranging the shelves in my library,” the Doctor explained, raising an eyebrow when Jack huffed a laugh. “Care to explain?”

“He always used to do filing in the archives when he was angry or just needed to think,” Jack explained. “I hope it means he’ll give me another chance.”

“I’m sure of it,” the Doctor sighed, taking a seat beside him. “He loves you, Jack, and he needs you. No matter how upset he is right now, he will come back to you in the end.” He patted Jack’s hand gently. “Give him time and be there for him when he wants you, and eventually everything will be alright. I promise.”

There was a long silence before the Doctor spoke again.

“He thinks you won’t love him anymore.”

“That’s rubbish!” Jack exclaimed, shaking his head in disbelief. “I’d always love him, no matter what happened to him.”

“I know that,” the Doctor said. “He doesn’t. He’s very confused and scared and he needs to know that you still love him.” Realising that Jack was about to get up he held out a hand. “Not yet, wait for him to come to you – you’ll do yourself no favours by barging in there interrupting him. Now, let’s say we have a cup of tea and talk about what we’re going to do next; I’m not letting either of you off this ship until I’m sure you’re both going to be alright.”


	33. Chapter 33

Later that evening, they gathered outside the TARDIS in the beautiful gardens of the Elucidi palace to say their goodbyes to Clara and Felix. Ianto kept his distance from Jack, hovering on the other side of the Doctor and keeping very quiet. Occasionally, Jack felt the familiar sensation of someone watching him but whenever he turned towards Ianto the Welshman was very pointedly looking the other way. Still, Jack thought, it was an improvement.

The Doctor was deep in discussion with Clara while Felix looked on. Jack, although he knew it would seem rude, wasn’t paying attention to the twins but instead was watching Ianto and willing him to come a little closer to exchange a few words with him. He was a little startled when Clara stepped closer to him and drew him into a hug.

“Good luck, Jack,” she whispered. “Don’t fret too much, he’ll come around soon. He’s just very afraid that you might reject him.” She smiled. “And I know you wouldn’t, but he doesn’t. He’ll push that aside, though, when he needs you most.”

She smiled, patting his shoulder lightly before moving on to Ianto and leaving Jack with Felix, who shook his hand and said, “You’re a good man, Harkness. Good luck.”

Jack strained to overhear what was passing between Clara and Ianto but she was speaking too quietly. Sighing, he decided it wasn’t for his ears anyway and went to stand beside the Doctor at the TARDIS entrance. Ianto came to join them a moment later, catching Jack’s eye very briefly before ducking his head and turning away.

After a last goodbye to the twins and a promise that they would always be welcome on Elucidi, the three of them slipped into the TARDIS. The Doctor moved over to the console.

“Just a short rest in the vortex then on to Cardiff,” he announced. “And I mean that, no problems this time!”

Jack smiled, managing to catch Ianto’s eye, but before he could say anything, Ianto glanced away again.

“I’ll be in the library, if any one wants me,” he said, before slipping out of the room. Jack watched him go before sinking back to lean against the railings.

“Jack, trust me, everything will be fine – you need to give him time,” the Doctor said. “I know it must be frustrating for you but...”

“I’ve got to give him time – I know,” Jack said a little harsher than he meant to. “But it doesn’t help. I want to comfort him, make him feel better but he won’t even let me near him. I hate seeing him like this.”

The Doctor nodded. “But you know he isn’t doing this to hurt you, he needs the time alone and he’s feeling very guilty about it. He will come back to you – you need each other more than you realise – but he’ll do it in his own time. He’s not seen you for two years, Jack; it’s been much less time for you. His memories might be back but they’ll be hazy. He has to remember what there is between you.”

Jack’s face fell. “He doesn’t love me anymore?”

“I didn’t say that,” the Doctor said with a sigh. “Honestly, you two deserve each other!” He shook his head. “He does love you, but he doesn’t think that it’s as much as you love him and he’s really beating himself up about it. The details are fuzzy, but when he comes to you I’m sure you’ll help him remember why.”

Jack shrugged. “I don’t know if I can. It started off as sex at first, me and him. I won him over with charm and flirtation; I don’t think that’ll work this time.”

The Doctor raised an eyebrow and turned to face Jack. “I think you’ll find that was only a small part. You are a wonderful man, Jack – no matter what I’ve said in the past. I’m willing to bet that Ianto saw past all your charm to the heart you try to hide. He fell in love with you, Jack, and he still is. He just needs a little reminder as to why – and I don’t think the sex has anything to do with it.”

Jack met the Doctor’s gaze. Though he didn’t like to admit it, Jack felt a little relieved by those words. If the Doctor thought there was another chance for him and Ianto then there probably was. Still, there was a nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach telling Jack that Ianto might not see things the same way a second time, that he wouldn’t take him back. That he would prefer a normal life – the very thing Jack could never give him. Jack had always been confident in getting who he wanted, but now, with Ianto, there was a real fear that he wouldn’t.

“How can I remind him when I can’t even get near him?” Jack asked, shaking his head. “I wish it was that simple, Doctor. I really do, but I don’t think it is.”

He turned and headed away, walking back to his bedroom. If he couldn’t be with Ianto then he would prefer to be alone.

***

It was getting late by the time Ianto was half way through the Doctor’s library. Sighing and sliding a final book onto the shelves, he sank into the Doctor’s large armchair, pulling the large throw draped over the back around his shoulders. The weight was comforting and warm but it wasn’t right. It wasn’t Jack, he realised after a moment. He had always sought Jack’s embrace when he was upset or frightened – even when he didn’t know who he was, he had instinctively gone to Jack. That had to mean something, didn’t it?

The realisation almost had Ianto running to Jack, but all his fears held him back. Did Jack still want him? Could he still trust Jack? Did he deserve Jack’s love? He didn’t know and couldn’t grant himself the comfort of Jack’s arms until he knew. He did believe Jack’s earlier explanation, and he accepted that Jack had only tried to protect him – after all, Jack had always tried to in the past. He didn’t know whether he could trust Jack not to do the same again.

Jack deserved better though, Ianto thought. He had been avoiding Jack when all the immortal had tried to do was be kind to him. Jack might have deceived him but he had done it out of love. He would go and see him, he would apologise and... he yawned, eyes flickering closed; the day had exhausted him more than he had thought. He would see Jack tomorrow when he was less tired and could think straight.

Curling up he fell into a deep and dream-filled sleep...

_  
He could hear them chasing him as he ran through the corridors of Torchwood One, heavy footsteps ringing metallically with every step coming closer and closer. He turned stumbling as he collided with something. He looked up, coming face to face with Talomi._

_The man grinned and grabbed hold of him, slamming him into the wall. He cried out as his head smacked against the stone. Still the footsteps echoed towards him, louder and louder._

_“We have to get out of here!” he begged, grabbing hold of Talomi’s shirt. “They’ll kill us!”_

_“Like you killed me?” Talomi sneered, slamming Ianto into the wall again. “You little whore, I’m going to teach you a lesson you’ll never forget.”_

_He was suddenly pinned down, held into a conversion machine as tools whirred over his head and Talomi leaned over him that same smirk on his face. The whirr of the machine grew and Talomi began to fiddle with the button of his pants, unzipping his fly._

_Ianto screamed...  
_

...and woke shaking in the armchair. He pulled the throw tighter around himself, closing his eyes tightly and trying to banish the images of his nightmare from his mind. The shaking and terror wouldn’t leave him, despite the efforts of the TARDIS to comfort him. He had forgotten his tendency to nightmares. Last night, he realised, the drug the Doctor had given him had held them at bay, but tonight they had returned with a ferocity he had almost forgotten.

Jack would keep them away, he thought, all his reservations vanishing as he climbed to his feet and placed the throw over the chair again. He didn’t care about Jack’s lies or the reasons for them: he needed Jack. He needed Jack so much that he was willing to forgive him – and after all, Jack had forgiven him so much more. Even if he couldn’t return Jack’s love in equal measures and would be selfish in seeking love for himself, he still needed that love. He would never be able to return Jack’s love if he kept avoiding him.

Leaving the library, he hurried through the corridors towards Jack’s room. It was only when he reached the door that his worries caught up with them and he hesitated his hand inches from the door. With a sigh he pushed his fears down; he was going to be the man he remembered being: brave and ready to face his fears. He was going to show Jack - and himself - that he was still that man.

He tapped on the door and waited for Jack to let him in.

***

Jack smiled as Ianto peered around the edge of the door. His smile quickly faded as he realised how tired Ianto looked. He was pale and trembling slightly, and Jack could tell he’d had a nightmare. Who could blame him after recovering those memories? He was surprised, however, that Ianto had come to him. The impression he had gotten earlier had led him to believe that Ianto would be hard to win over.

“Hey,” he smiled nervously. He didn’t want to frighten Ianto away now, presented with a momentary glimpse of forgiveness. “Are you okay, Ianto?”

Ianto nodded and then, only an instant later, shook his head. “Not really... I, Jack...” he trailed off and swallowed, blinking back tears. “Please, Jack...”

Jack tugged back the bedcovers, patting the space beside him. “Hey, c’mere.”

Ianto hurried across the room, pausing before the bed to strip down to his boxers and t-shirt before sliding into the bed beside Jack. He rolled to one side and buried his face in Ianto’s shoulder.

“Hey,” Jack murmured, bringing his arms up to wrap around Ianto. “Hey,” he began to rub his hands up and down Ianto’s back and pressed a kiss into his hair. “Hey, you’re okay, I’m here, Ianto,” he murmured quietly, soothingly.

“So much death and pain,” Ianto whispered. “Why does it never get better?”

“I don’t know,” Jack replied, knowing he had been right: Ianto had suffered a nightmare. “I’m sorry, Ianto, I’m so sorry – if I could reverse all that happened to you and take it on myself – I would. Anything to keep you safe and well.”

Ianto glanced up, meeting his gaze. Jack ached at the real fear in his eyes. “I forgive you, for not telling me the truth, I mean.” He glanced down. “Part of me wishes I didn’t know it at all – all that pain and death. But as much as I hate it, it’s who I am. And though I don’t like it, or that you lied – I understand why and I forgive you.” He looked up at Jack again. “Can I stay here tonight? Please, Jack? I need you to hold me, to help keep the nightmares away.”

“You can stay as long as you like. I could never turn you away,” Jack replied, feeling a flare of joy when Ianto had said he forgave him. He could not have hoped for more, especially so soon, but despite the joy there was a smaller niggling feeling that told him he didn’t deserve Ianto or his forgiveness. He sighed, pulling Ianto closer to him. “I was prepared for you never to forgive me,” he murmured. “I thought... I don’t know what I thought.”

“You’ve always forgiven me in the past – and you didn’t tell me because you were trying to protect me. I understand that and know how it feels. I couldn’t cause you any hurt – not after how kind you’ve been to me,” Ianto replied quietly. “Jack... I... you stood by me, even when my behaviour must have hurt you, and I don’t want to cause you any more pain by staying away – not when it hurts me too.”

He mumbled the last into Jack’s shoulder, wrapping his arms tighter around him. Jack smiled, pressing another kiss to Ianto’s hair. “I don’t blame you. Not for any of it. You weren’t doing it out of cruelty. I know that.” He smiled. “You haven’t got a cruel bone in your body, Ianto Jones. That’s why I love you.”

Ianto flinched and pulled away, unable to meet Jack’s gaze.

“Don’t, please,” he whispered.

“Ianto, what is it?” Jack asked, frowning in confusion.

“I know I’m meant to love you,” Ianto whispered, still refusing to meet Jack’s gaze. “I know I loved you before and I think I was starting to love you again before I remembered all this,” he confessed. “But it’s been two years for me, Jack, and the Doctor said that you only lost me less than two months ago. There is so much that I’ve forgotten that for you will still seem fresh and I’m so confused – I can’t even begin to think about how I feel about me, let alone anyone else.

“I know I trust you, more than I’ve ever trusted anyone else in my life. I know I feel safe with you and I know... Jack, I do love you, but nowhere near as much as I should. Nothing like how much you love me.” He finally glanced up. “I’m sorry, I wish I could say it back but it would feel a lie.”

Jack wrapped his hand around Ianto’s and smiled. “You still love me though, you aren’t rejecting me – and I’m content with that.” Truthfully, Ianto’s admission had crushed him but he wasn’t about to let him know that. “I can wait to hear those words. They’ll sound nicer if I have to wait.” He pulled Ianto back close to him. “I’d wait a thousand years to hear them words from you, Ianto. I’ll wait as long as you’ll let me.”


	34. Chapter 34

Things were still far from fine the next morning; Ianto’s fears had not disappeared over night. He was still overwhelmed with guilt at how he’d treated Jack, at how he didn’t love him as he knew he should, at killing Talomi. The last gave him most concern; how could Jack still care for him when he was a murderer? He had killed Talomi, a real person, for no reason other than a selfish desire to see him dead. That was worse. That made him no better than the thousands of aliens Jack stopped everyday at Torchwood.

He breathed in sharply, was that Jack’s plan? Was he going to take him back to Torchwood and lock him up? Ianto knew it was better than he deserved but the thought still filled him with dread. He pulled back out of Jack’s arms sharply, ignoring the moan of ‘Ianto’ as Jack tried to tug him back in.

Was that Jack’s plan now? Was he lying with his kind words of love? Ianto didn’t understand that either – how could Jack bear to love him and not be loved in equal measures? Would he really wait for that love to return? If Jack meant to lock him up then surely he would be lying – and how could he be telling the truth? Ianto knew Jack loved to be loved – how could he bear this rejection? Ianto felt terrible, climbing from the bed and beginning to get dressed again. He didn’t deserve the security he felt with Jack, not when he was a cruel murderer, not when he couldn’t love Jack.

“Ianto?” Ianto looked over at Jack who had raised his head and was peering at him, still half asleep. “You don’t have to go,” he said. “You could stay and... and you know, snuggle?”

The look on Jack’s face was so pleading, so hopeful that Ianto couldn’t refuse him, he might not deserve the comfort but Jack did. He pulled off his shirt and climbed back into the bed, letting Jack pull him close once more.

“You alright?” Jack asked, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “You’re tense.”

Jack began to rub Ianto’s shoulders in an attempt to relieve the tension, the look on his face so concerned that Ianto couldn’t hold back.

“You’re going to lock me up, aren’t you?” he asked, dropping his gaze. “In the vaults with the other monsters, where I belong.”

“No!” Jack insisted, his hands stilling as he forced Ianto to meet his gaze. “Ianto, you aren’t a monster, not even close.” He paused. “You’re still feeling guilty about killing Talomi, aren’t you?”

Ianto nodded slowly, still unwilling to meet Jack’s gaze. “I killed him, Jack. I killed him for my own selfish reasons. I’ve even endangered the whole world before – why don’t you just kill me, before I do worse.”

“You won’t,” Jack shook his head. “Talomi was the monster, Ianto, not you – never you. I promise you, I would never lock you in the vaults. I’ve lived a long time, Ianto, and I’ve known many people – some of them were monsters, but you’re not one of them. I wouldn’t love you nearly as much as I do if you were. Believe me, when we get back, I’m going to take you home and look after you. We’ll see your family. Gwen, too. And then, if you wanted, we could go back to Torchwood. I’d stay with you though, Ianto – I don’t ever intend on losing you again.”

Ianto felt a deep sense of shame that he could have even doubted Jack. Jack was a good man, capable of loving even him; he might keep secrets and tell lies but Ianto knew then that he meant what he said. Jack wouldn’t hurt him, not purposefully.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, shifting closer to Jack. “I shouldn’t have doubted you.” Pausing, he looked up at Jack. “Will Gwen remember do you think?”

Jack shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe the sight of you will be enough to trigger the memories – but it’ll be a big shock for her.” He paused. “I shouldn’t have retconned her, I know that, but I couldn’t bear it. She was the only person I had left and I couldn’t lose her too, I couldn’t let Rhys suffer like I had when I lost you.”

“You did it because you cared,” Ianto agreed, “But she would want to know the truth.”

“I know.” He smiled wryly. “That wasn’t the only reason. I had to watch her go home to Rhys every evening. I had to listen to her talk about him and a part of me resented her for it – because she still had him when I’d lost you. She didn’t do it out of spite but it hurt. Then she’d see me getting upset – and you know what she’s like, she tried to make me feel better and all I could think was it should have been you by my side. I hated her for having Rhys and a life when I had lost it all – again.” He caught Ianto’s eye and looked away. “I know it’s not a good excuse, Ianto, but I wasn’t thinking straight.” He shook his head. “I wasn’t thinking at all, not about anything that wasn’t you.”

Ianto dropped his gaze, wishing that Jack would stop letting him know how deeply he cared when he didn’t feel able to respond in kind. Instead, he reverted the conversation back to Gwen. “She will forgive you, I’m sure. I have.”

Jack smiled weakly, cupping Ianto’s face in his hand. “Thank you,” he murmured. “I’ve missed you, Ianto. I was so worried that you’d never get your memories back – I’d have loved you without them, but I wanted you to remember me, us.”

Ianto smiled, another question answered because there was no denying the honest emotion in Jack’s voice. He wished that he could return the sentiment but he couldn’t – how could he have missed Jack when he didn’t remember him.

There had been something, though, when he had forgotten, a lingering memory of something indescribable. Something he missed that he hadn’t been able to understand. He understood now, or thought he did. He had missed Jack, he had missed love.

“I think I missed you, too,” Ianto told Jack, delighting in the grin that spread across the Captain’s face. “At least, I knew I missed something - just not what it was.”

Jack’s smile was beautiful, something perfect and rare and Ianto loved that he had brought it on. He felt Jack pull him closer and press a single and brief kiss to his lips.  
“Never,” said Jack as he pulled back. “Never, ever let me hear you call yourself a monster or evil again, Ianto Jones. You are the beauty to my beast, saving me from myself, as far from a monster as anyone could hope to be.”

Ianto was blushing, but Jack’s expression was joyful and honest and he wouldn’t spoil that by arguing. He still believed he had done wrong in killing Talomi, but if Jack truly believed he wasn’t a monster – then was he?

And how long would that last? Ianto could remember much of his time with Jack and so much of that was sex. What would Jack say if Ianto admitted he was still fearful of sex with anyone, even him? He would reject him, move onto someone else, he would not want to wait for Ianto to be ready. Feeling a deep sadness, Ianto knew he could never keep Jack if he feared the future. He would have to take action himself because Jack never would.

Glancing up, he met Jack’s eyes before kissing him soundly on the lips, attempting to deepen the kiss as Jack moaned in surprise and pleasure. Ianto brushed his tongue over the roof of Jack’s mouth focussing on the scent, the need to do this even if all his baser instincts were telling him to stop and run. Jack groaned into his mouth, murmuring his name as he responded to the kiss.

Heartened by his success, Ianto let his hand trail down Jack’s chest towards Jack’s naked and hard cock. Wrapping his fingers around it he flicked his thumb over the head, the other hand drawing patterns on Jack’s hip.

Then, without any warning, Jack jerked away from him, grabbing both his hands and imprisoning them in his own. He stared at Ianto in a mixture of confusion and concern, putting more distance between them when Ianto shifted forward to kiss Jack again.

“Ianto, what are you doing?”

Ianto’s heart sank to the pit of his stomach. How could he have been so stupid? Why would Jack want him now – he was used and spoilt. No one would want him now. Despite his disappointment, though, there remained a tiny spark of relief. Glancing up to meet Jack’s gaze he flinched at the maelstrom of emotion in his eyes.

“I... I thought... that was what you wanted...”

“You’re shaking!” Jack exclaimed, releasing Ianto’s hands and pulling him into an embrace again. He pressed a kiss to his head, “Ianto, I don’t think you’re ready yet – you’re terrified.”

Jack’s casual rejection stung; he wasn’t just pushing Ianto’s advances aside, he was pushing Ianto aside. Ianto had never felt more worthless than he did in knowing Jack didn’t want to fuck him. The Welshman felt like Jack couldn’t possibly want anything from their relationship if he couldn’t have the sex. He might have loved Ianto but if Ianto couldn’t even give him physical pleasure then it would all fade to nothing. Something inside Ianto snapped - something he had been holding onto on a very fine thread. He pulled back, staring furiously into Jack’s eyes.

“How do you know? You can’t tell me what I am and am not ready for! I am ready. I want you to fuck me, Jack. Please! Fuck me!” His words were fractured by sobs and his shoulders shook as he buried his face in Jack’s shoulder. Jack’s arms wrapped around him tightly

“This proves otherwise,” he murmured. “Ianto, I understand, believe me, I understand. You’re terrified by the very idea of having sex and that’s fine – I’m not going to make you do anything until you want to. I promise. No matter how you might ask, it would still be rape because you don’t want this. I wouldn’t do that to you. It would be wrong, and not only that, sex is more enjoyable when everyone is having fun.” He pressed another kiss into Ianto’s hair. “I don’t care how long it takes for you to be ready. I’ll wait.”

“But maybe it would remind me how good it would be with you?” Ianto tried again, not willing to give up completely. Jack had to see how far he was willing to go for him.

Jack shook his head. “It would do the opposite. It would make it worse and I won’t hurt you Ianto, no matter how much you beg. I said before, I’ll wait until you’re ready and then we’ll take it slowly.” He smiled hopefully. “You okay with that?”

Ianto looked away, feeling a little ashamed. Jack was being so kind about it that Ianto felt terrible for ever having doubted him. “You won’t leave me, because I won’t do it?”

“Never.”

Ianto bowed his head, feeling the sincerity of Jack’s words once again. “I thought... you wouldn’t want me any more without the sex.” He bit his lip, looking up. “Or that you couldn’t bear to touch me now I’m ruined.”

Jack shook his head, burying his face in Ianto’s hair. “You are not ruined, Ianto. Far from it, and I still want you – but in your own time. As for just wanting sex, you couldn’t be more wrong. I love you, Ianto, and sure the sex was fantastic but I’d rather live without that than without you. There’s no contest. There never was.”

A sob slipped from Ianto throat and he ducked his head forward, clinging to Jack as tightly as he could. “I’m sorry,” he said between sobs. “I thought you were going to leave me. I wish I didn’t have these doubts but I...”

“Hey,” Jack cut him off, rubbing soothing circles on his back. “It’s natural to have doubts and I don’t blame you for any of this. I’m the easiest target and I accept that – I just...” Jack’s voice cracked and when Ianto glanced up at him he was startled to see tears in his eyes. “Just please try to believe that I do love you and I only want what’s best for you. I’m not going to hurt you or leave you, Ianto. Just please, believe that.”

“I’ll try,” Ianto murmured, hating himself a little more. He was the one who was hurting Jack again, when Jack was only trying to help him. “I’m sorry.”

“It’ll be up to you what happens when we get back to Cardiff,” Jack continued. “I’m not going to push you into anything but I will be there for you and I will help you. I don’t ever want to leave you, Ianto – but if you wanted me to then I would.”

“No!” Ianto cried, eyes wide, frantic. “Please, Jack. Don’t leave me, I don’t want to be alone.”

Jack smiled, much to Ianto’s confusion, his hand sliding through Ianto’s hair and down his cheek. “Then I won’t. We’re going to go back to Cardiff and look out for each other, ok? But for that to work you’re going to have to trust me. I’m going to need you if we’re ever going to get through this together.”

“I will,” Ianto answered, letting Jack manoeuvre them so he was lying with his head resting on Jack’s chest. The Captain’s hands were slowly drifting through his hair. He smiled, twisting his head to allow Jack better access. He could trust Jack, he decided. Jack’s words of love seemed real enough and Ianto wanted to believe in them. He wanted Jack’s love and wanted to return it as he knew he once had done. He wanted to be the man he had been and for that he needed Jack – more than that, he could tell Jack needed him. He twisted again in Jack’s arms, tilting his head back into Jack’s fingers.

“I like that,” he added after a moment, smiling up at Jack. “It feels good.”

Jack smiled back. “I know, just like I know we’re going to be fine if we work at this.”


	35. Chapter 35

The TARDIS landed on the Plass with less of a bang than a whimper. The ship had seemed less than eager to make this trip ever since the Doctor had announced their return to Cardiff. The TARDIS didn’t want Ianto and Jack to leave and, now the Doctor considered it, neither did he. He had found that he liked the company, even if neither man had been himself; more than that he had enjoyed the fact that he was needed by them, that they were relying on him to help put them back together again and later, to act as a go between and solve their relationship problems.

Now, the Doctor’s part was done, he knew Jack and Ianto had to go home and spend some time together – alone. They needed to rebuild their lives, resolve their differences, and they needed to do so without his interference. Sighing, he tried not to let his emotions show as he turned to Jack and Ianto. The pair of them stood off to the side, Jack’s arm looped protectively behind Ianto’s waist. The Doctor felt a pang of jealousy, although he wasn’t sure who it was directed at: Jack for his ability to love repeatedly, even after so much loss, or Ianto, for having Jack’s heart – the one person who could stay with him forever and he belonged to someone else.

“Well, here we are, home sweet home!” he announced sounding cheerier than he felt. He strode over to the door and pulled it open, exposing the view of the plass and the water tower rising up above it.

“You’ve both been gone about two months,” the Doctor explained, “And it doesn’t look like it’s been destroyed in the meantime.”

He stepped aside to allow Jack and Ianto outside, following close behind. The scene did look calm, perhaps too calm. It was early morning and the sun was just beginning to rise over the bay. As they walked across the plass a shadow fell across them; the Doctor glanced up, smiling as the pterodactyl flew overhead.

Jack chuckled. “I see she survived, then. I thought she would, much to the decimation of the sheep population. We’re going to have to win her back though, with lots of chocolate.”

Ianto frowned and muttered, “I don’t want to think of the mess, either.”

Jack smiled, tugging Ianto closer to him and dropping a kiss onto his head. “Don’t worry. I’ll give you a hand, I promise. I’m going to make a few changes anyway; you won’t be responsible for all the cleaning anymore - you’ve spent enough time doing that. But let’s not think about that yet. We can survey the damage tomorrow.”

“And today?” Ianto asked, the Doctor noted the hint of trepidation in his voice. They needed normality but Jack had already told the Doctor that certain things had to be done before they could even think of returning to that.

“Today we go and see your parents, and then Gwen,” Jack replied. “I know it’s soon but you’ll feel better once you got it over with and before they hear about it from someone else.”

Ianto nodded, managing a weak smile. “You’re right, I know you are but...” he bit his lip. “I don’t know what to say to them, they will never believe me.”

“Oh, I’m sure they will - and it’s better than lying to them and risking upsetting them further,” the Doctor cut in. “I imagine they’ll be so glad to have you back that they won’t care where you’ve been.”

“And if they don’t like it, I’ll be there to tell them where to stick it,” Jack put in. He smiled at the look of surprise on Ianto’s face. “What, did you think I’d leave you to face them on your own?”

“Thank you,” Ianto said, turning his head to meet Jack’s gaze. “I was going to ask you to come; I didn’t want to face them alone.”

The Doctor fidgeted slightly, watching as Jack pressed a kiss to Ianto’s lips. He felt like he was encroaching on their territory now, reminded more strongly of why Jack and Ianto had to be alone from now on.

“Right then,” he said, watching as Ianto turned away from Jack, looking not a little embarrassed. “I think I’ve outstayed my welcome. I’ll be off then.”

Ianto stepped forward first, stepping straight into the Doctor’s embrace. “Thank you,” he murmured, “For everything you’ve done for me. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to thank you enough.”

The Doctor stepped back, cupping Ianto’s face in his hand. “It’s thanks enough seeing you home with Jack and safe. You’re a good man, Ianto. You didn’t deserve the life you got but you do deserve Jack. You deserve some happiness now.”

He leaned in, pressing a kiss to Ianto’s forehead.

“He does love you - take a look at him when he talks about you and you’ll see it – but he also needs you,” he said, too quiet for Jack to hear. “And I want you to promise me you’ll look after him. If you want to recover from what happened to you – and you will recover – you’ll need Jack. You can make things better, but both of you will have to work at it.” He stepped back a little. “I’m going to miss you, Ianto Jones,” he said sadly, “But I will see you again. I have a feeling.”

He turned to Jack, drawing the immortal into a hug too. “You look after him, Captain,” he told him. “And yourself, too. I have every faith that you can help him. You’ll be back to your old selves in no time at all!”

“Thank you, Doctor.” Jack said, stepping back to stand beside Ianto. “You brought him back to me, I can never be more grateful to you. I owe you, big time. You ever need company – or anything else – you can call on me. You’re always welcome to visit me and Ianto.”

The Doctor smiled, “I’ll keep that in mind, then. Well, goodbye, Jack, Ianto.”

He raised his hand in a wave, smiling as, while Ianto only waved, Jack snapped into a full military salute. The Captain’s flamboyance was enough to know he was on the way to recovery. Nodding once more in their direction he turned and slipped away into the TARDIS. Closing the door behind him, he moved to the console.

“Well, girl, just us two now,” he commented, wishing that it wasn’t the case. The TARDIS was going to seem very quiet over the next few days.

***

A few hours later, after reacquainting himself with his flat and making mindless small talk with Jack – anything to distract himself from the prospect of seeing his family – Ianto found himself fidgeting nervously with his tie in the passenger seat of his car. Jack sat beside him staring directly ahead. They had parked up a few corners away from Ianto’s mother’s house, a small bungalow, to allow Ianto to compose himself and get their story straight.

“So I tell them the truth, about the Rift and everything,” Ianto said quietly, before looking over at Jack desperately. “I don’t want to tell them all the details - what happened to me, I mean.”

“Then don’t,” Jack said, turning to face him. “They just need to know you were stuck on another planet and ran into a bit of trouble. I won’t let them press you for information, Ianto. Don’t worry; we can leave whenever you want.”

“Is it wrong, that I should be so scared about seeing them?” Ianto asked quietly, dropping his gaze. “I want to see them, I want my mum to wrap me in her arms again, but at the same time I’m scared they won’t want anything to do with me when they see how... how... pathetic I am now.”

“You’re not pathetic, Ianto.” Jack soothed, taking hold of Ianto’s hands and giving them a small squeeze. “And they won’t think that,” he assured him. “They’re your family, they’ll love you whatever - and whatever happens, you’ll always have me.”

“Always?” Ianto asked, trying to hide the tremor in his voice. No matter how many times Jack told him, he was unable to believe he would truly stand by him – especially if someone braver and better looking came along.

“Always.” Jack confirmed. “You’ll leave me a long time before I’m ready to let you go.”

He rubbed his thumb over Ianto’s knuckles, lifting the hand to his mouth and placing a kiss on the fingertips.

“Are you ready?” he asked.

Ianto shook his head. “I’m scared, I really am – but I suppose now is as good a time as any.” He caught Jack’s eye and smiled. “I’m glad you’re here though, I wouldn’t have wanted to do this alone.”

“You won’t be alone,” Jack confirmed. “And I’ll get you out of there whenever you want to leave. They might be your family but I won’t let them upset you further.” He smiled, pulling his hand back from Ianto’s. “That is if your mother will even let me in the house after last time.”

“Last time?” Ianto glanced over at him, confusion written across his face. He knew he had never introduced Jack to his mother – so when had they met?

“I had to tell her you were dead. I had to tell her there was no body. I hated having to stand there and listen as she blamed me for everything – even if it was true. I wished I could tell her what you were to me but... it felt wrong, and I didn’t know how she would react even then.”

He glanced over at Ianto and smiled weakly. “That was the worst thing I’ve ever had to do. I couldn’t even send someone else to do the job.”

Ianto was stunned. The pain of that memory was clear on Jack’s face. He wanted to reach out and envelop the Captain in a hug but held back, uncertain of how it would be received. He couldn’t quite bring himself to make that first move. He suspected it was hard to tell anyone that your lover was dead, let alone their family - let alone family who remained oblivious to your relationship. He made up his mind that he couldn’t let that happen again; even if Jack didn’t return his love, Ianto would make sure his family knew he loved Jack.

“Oh, Jack,” Ianto reached out, gripping his hand once more. “I’m sorry you had to do that. I should have introduced you before.” He swallowed, not meeting Jack’s gaze. “If she tries to make you leave, you won’t be leaving alone.” He gave Jack’s hand a squeeze. “Let’s go, then.”

“What did I do to deserve you?” he said, smiling, and started the car. Pulling out, they drove the last few metres to Ianto’s mother’s house. Parking just outside, Jack switched off the engine and turned to Ianto. “No turning back now.”

He held Ianto’s gaze for one moment before turning to climb out of the car. He was relieved to see Ianto had climbed out too, and was stood straightening his suit jacket. Jack rolled his eyes, walking forward to take hold of Ianto’s hands.

“Stop it,” he chided gently. “You look lovely.”

He released one hand, keeping the other in a death-grip. Ianto smiled up at him, then began to lead the way towards the garden door. There was only a brief hesitation before Ianto knocked, stepping closer to Jack as he waited for an answer. The pair of them stood in silence, listening to the footsteps on the other side, the jangling of keys.

Jack forced on a smile as the door was opened, revealing a small, older woman who couldn’t have been anyone’s mother but Ianto’s. The look on her face slid from a blank mask to an expression of shock, confusion and grief as she realised exactly who was stood on her doorstep.

“Ianto?” Her voice was little more than a whisper as she reached out to touch him, hands shaking as they brushed over his face. Jack felt Ianto’s grip tighten around his hand, but, to his relief, Ianto didn’t move away, not even when she pulled him into a tight hug, tears wetting his neck as she stroked his hair and murmured ‘Ianto’ and ‘my son’ over and over.

“Mam,” he said, finally pulling free. “I’m sorry... can I, we... come in?”

“They told me you were dead!” Mrs. Jones exclaimed, finally glancing to Jack, her eyes hardening. “You told me he was dead. You lied to me, told me that my boy was dead and here he is! What kind of a prank is that? Do you even know what I’ve been through? You get out of my sight, now!”

“Mam!” Ianto interrupted. “It wasn’t Jack’s fault. I can explain, I really can but not without Jack. Please, let him stay?”

“Mam, is everything alright?” A second voice called and a young woman stepped into the hallway. Her brown hair was pulled back in a ponytail and she had that same look of familiarity that suggested she had to be Ianto’s sister. The look on her face when she saw Ianto matched her mother’s. She ran forward, pulling Ianto into her arms.

“Oh my God! You’re alive, we all thought...”

She pulled back, her face hard, then without warning she slapped Ianto, he stumbled back, landing in Jack’s arms.

“Have you any idea what you’ve put us through?” she snapped. “No, you haven’t, you’ve always done things this way! We thought you were dead, Ianto. Mam was heartbroken! We were told you were dead and now you turn up just fine – what the fuck was this, Ianto? Some sick game? I told you this after what happened in London. At least you called us after two days that time. Could you not have phoned, told us you weren’t dead – anything!”

“I’m sorry,” Ianto whispered, pushing himself off Jack. “I’m really sorry, Rhiannon. We should go.”

“Oh, don’t be stupid!” Rhiannon scoffed. “You’re coming inside and telling us where you’ve been – and you’d better have a good explanation.”

Jack could feel Ianto trembling in his arms. He was about to interrupt and tell everyone to calm down, but Ianto’s mother beat him to it.

“That’s enough, Rhiannon! What have I told you about arguing on the street! Look at him; it doesn’t take an idiot to know he’s been through something terrible. Come inside, all of you.” She glanced up at Jack. “Yes, you too; you better have a good explanation for why you told me my son was dead when he’s clearly alive and well!”

She led them into the house, Jack hanging back and whispering to Ianto.

“I know where you get it from, now!” He tilted his head to one side, delighted that his comment got the smallest of smiles, and then he added, “Come on, let’s not keep them waiting.”

They stepped from the hall into the small living room, taking seats on one of the two sofas while Ianto’s mother and sister sat on the other. Ianto edged closer to Jack, sliding his hand into Jack’s and smiling across at him.

“Mum, Rhiannon, I want to introduce you to Jack. He’s my... my...” he looked to Jack in confusion, clearly unsure how to define their relationship. Would Jack react badly if he called them lovers?

“Partner,” Jack put in for him, glancing nervously over at Ianto’s family. If they rejected him now it would do some damage to Ianto’s recovery and Jack didn’t want that. He shifted closer to Ianto. “I care about your son a lot.”

“Enough that you would tell his family lies? That you could bear to fake his death?” Mrs. Jones said, raising an eyebrow in a manner so uncannily similar to Ianto that for a moment Jack was flustered.

“I didn’t know,” he confessed eventually. “I thought he was dead, that I’d lost him – it was only a stroke of luck that I found him again.”

“Found him where? Where have you been, Ianto?” his mother asked, voice softening when she confronted her son.

She was not angry with Ianto, Jack realised, but with him. She knew Ianto had suffered; some mother’s instinct said her son was not to blame. Instead, her finger of blame was pointed firmly at Jack: the only other person who knew what had happened to her son, the one who had said Ianto was dead, causing her weeks of grief and pain. No doubt she believed Jack had led Ianto on, persuaded him to do something stupid or foolish.

“Jack, help me,” Ianto murmured.

Glancing over, Jack noticed the look of confusion on Ianto’s face. The younger man was biting on his bottom lip, eyes wide and confused. Over on the other sofa, Ianto’s mother and sister looked on in confusion and concern. Jack gave Ianto’s hand a squeeze and turned to them.

“You might not want to believe what I’m going to say but I assure you it is every bit of the truth.” He took a deep breath. “Cardiff sits on top of a rift in space and time. Sometimes things fall through: aliens, technology, people from out of time. Things that shouldn’t be here and that people from this time couldn’t handle. Ianto and I work for an organisation that monitors what comes through.”

He paused, glancing over at Ianto’s family. They were sat there, staring at him in disbelief. After a moment, Mrs. Jones shifted in her chair. “I know strange things have been happening in Cardiff. There was that giant shadow monster, and then last year those explosions – are you saying that you were both – that my Ianto, was part of that?” She frowned. “Was this what you were doing in London, too, what you said you wouldn’t go back to?”

This she addressed to Ianto, who ducked his head, biting on his lip harder than ever.

“Mam, I... I had to. There were things I needed. Torchwood was the only place I could turn to.”

Jack wrapped his arm tighter around Ianto’s shoulders, trying to offer him what little comfort he could. He could feel the young man shaking, trembling but wasn’t sure whether it was to do with having to tell his mother and sister where he had been and the fear of rejection or due to the memories he was reliving.

Tilting Ianto’s face he thumbed away tears. “You don’t have to do this,” he whispered. “We can leave, if you like.”

Ianto shook his head. “I’ll be okay, I will I just... don’t leave me?”

“Not going anywhere,” Jack replied. “I’m right here for you.”

A movement on the other side of Ianto made Jack glance away, meeting Mrs Jones’ eyes. She had stopped short of touching Ianto, sensing that it might not be welcomed.

“What’s happened to you, Ianto?” she asked quietly. “I’ve not see you like this since after you came back from London. You’re worse now. Whatever has happened must be even worse than that for you to be like this...”

Ianto let out a sob, burying his head in Jack’s shoulder. Jack just sat stroking his hair and his back before continuing for him. “The Rift I mentioned before, sometimes it takes things from this world too. It snatched Ianto - spat him out on another world. It isn’t my place to tell you what happened to him there but it was in no way pleasant. It was lucky that I found him, not to mention alive and for the most parts well.”

Ianto glanced over at his mother. “It was hell, where I was, it was like hell. I tried to escape but I couldn’t. There was so much pain, and I was so lost and I’d still be there if it wasn’t for Jack.” He managed a brief smile at the Captain. “Please, don’t blame him for this. It’s my fault I didn’t come back sooner.”

His mother reached out, stroking a hand through his hair. “Oh Ianto, sweetheart, I’m just glad you’re home. That’s all that matters. Whatever it is that happened to you, I don’t care. I’d still love you. You’re my baby boy and you’ve come back to me.” She pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I’m sorry I thought the worst, now come here, give your mam a hug.”

Ianto relinquished his grip on Jack and fell into his mother’s arms sobbing. She closed her arms around him comforting him in a way only a Mother could. Jack backed off, smiling to himself as Rhiannon took her mother’s place, apologising for assuming the worst, offering the comfort and love Ianto needed.

The three of them pulled away after what seemed like ages. Ianto instinctively stepping back to Jack’s side as if to assure himself that he had not left. Jack grinned down at him,

“Told you it wouldn’t be so bad,” he added in an undertone.

“You really do love him, don’t you,” Mrs. Jones interrupted, staring at the pair of them curiously. “I can tell by the way you look at him, as if he’s the only thing in the world.” She shook her head. “I won’t pretend I’m not surprised. I didn’t know Ianto was gay, but well, I can’t argue with it. Not when you brought my son back from hell.”

She smiled, and Jack found himself pulled into a tight embrace.

“Thank you,” Mrs. Jones whispered. “Thank you for bringing my son home to me and for looking after him.”

Jack glanced over at Ianto. “Your son is the most amazing man I’ve ever known, he’s smart, beautiful, brave and kind – I do love him, more than anything, and I’d do anything for him,” he replied in all sincerity as she released him. “You know that, don’t you Ianto?”

He glanced over at Ianto, holding out a hand to him. The look on Ianto’s face surprised him and sent a ripple of joy right to his heart; Ianto’s expression was one of wonder but edging on trust. There was belief in those eyes, covered by confusion but there nonetheless.

“I do,” Ianto told him after a moment. “I don’t understand why, but I know.”

Jack smiled; he knew Ianto still entertained doubts, still considered himself worthless and undeserving of that love but it seemed that he finally accepted that Jack’s love was true. He wondered what had made the change, but that, he knew, would wait for later. It wasn’t something he wished to bring up in front of Ianto’s family. There was still a lot of work to be done to boost Ianto’s self-confidence and convince him of his worth but that was a long term project. One Jack knew he would complete.

Still, for now, it was enough to know he’d made a tiny bit of progress.


	36. Chapter 36

It was late by the time they left Ianto’s family. Mrs. Jones had insisted that they stay for dinner, piling Ianto’s plate high with food and telling him he was too skinny by far. Conversation had been stilted and awkward, but one could expect no more considering the issue they were avoiding.

Ianto was saying little, allowing Jack and his family to make the most of conversation, which was hardly surprising. Ianto had never been much of a talker and his ordeal had, naturally, forced him further back into his shell. Jack was concerned, however, that Ianto’s reluctance to talk may have other reasons behind it - fear of being punished, for one. Ianto had not been treated kindly for the past few years and Jack could understand him not wanting to entirely trust anyone – even his family – until he was sure they wouldn’t treat him ill.

They wouldn’t; Jack was certain of that and he suspected Ianto knew that too. Still, appearances could be deceptive; Jack didn’t know Ianto’s family. He didn’t even know much about them. Ianto had never really spoken of them and Jack had somehow picked up the impression that they weren’t especially close. They loved Ianto, though, that was obvious, and Jack had no worries of them treating him badly. If anything, they seemed to want Ianto to visit more and not hide himself away as Jack knew he had done.

He promised Ianto’s mother that he would insist on them coming to visit again, joking that he would take any opportunity for more of her cooking. Really, though, he knew Ianto would need them to help with his recovery. He had been pulled into a tight embrace for that, Mrs. Jones murmuring her thanks and apologies for the way she had treated him in the past.

Afterwards, while steering the car through the city, Ianto’s silence was deafening. He sat staring out of the window, his face a familiar mask of emotions. Jack smiled to himself, flicking his gaze back to the road.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it? Do you think they liked me?”

Ianto started, glancing over at him. “It was okay, I guess. They still don’t know what I am though - if they knew that...”

“They would love you all the more if they really knew you,” Jack cut him off. “And I told you, they never need to know what you’ve been through. I won’t tell them and you don’t have to.” He paused. “Look, its late - why don’t we go and see Gwen tomorrow. Tonight we can go back to yours and watch a film or something, whatever you like.”

Ianto nodded. “Yeah,” he murmured absently. After a moment or two he glanced back at Jack. “Thank you, for coming with me,” he said. “You didn’t have to and I... well, I was glad you were there. I couldn’t have done it alone.”

Jack flicked a glance over at him, smiling. “I think you did a good job if it, anyway, I thought it was about time I met your family.” He sobered up, staring forward defiantly. “I’m going to be here for you, Ianto. As long as you want me, I’ll be here offering all the help I can give.”

Ianto glanced across, smiling nervously, for a moment it looked as if he would say something then he turned away, going back to staring out of the window at the passing city. Jack bit back a sigh; it was hard not to get frustrated. He knew Ianto needed time to recover but equally he wanted his lover back, the man who trusted him, who loved him and believed in him. He was trying his best to make Ianto feel comfortable and safe but he felt as if he was getting nothing in return. He knew Ianto couldn’t trust him immediately, in fact he was overjoyed with the level he had been granted. He accepted that Ianto was bound to have issues and reservations, he just hated that he couldn’t convince him of the truth. It would be hard for a while, but Jack just couldn’t help the selfish desire that wanted more and now.

The rest of the journey passed in silence. No words were exchanged until Jack had locked and bolted the door to Ianto’s flat and was pulling his boots off in the hallway.

“Do you want some coffee?” Ianto asked, appearing behind him to slide his greatcoat from his shoulders, hanging it from a coat rack by the door. His fingers lingered a little on Jack’s shoulders and the Captain had to try very hard not to grab them and pull them to his lips.

He nodded stiffly. “I would, thanks.”

He smiled as Ianto pulled away, trying to rid himself of the images that flooded his mind. It was hard not to want Ianto, even though Jack knew that to take him like this would be nothing short of rape. Ianto was far from ready for sex, and Jack wouldn’t abuse the trust that had been placed in him, no matter how strong his desires for Ianto became.

Placing his shoes side by side he followed Ianto into the kitchen, leaning in the doorframe as Ianto made the coffee.

“Would you mind if I told you that you are beautiful?” he asked after a moment. “I don’t think you even have any idea how much.”

The blush that lit up Ianto’s face was obvious from across the room. “I’m not,” he said, a slight quiver to his voice. He looked up meeting Jack’s eyes. “You don’t need to say those things, you know. You don’t have to lie.”

Jack straightened up frowning. In a moment he was standing in front of Ianto, tilting his face up and stopping him from moving away. “It wasn’t a lie. Those things you’ve been told over the last few years, they’re lies, all of them. You are beautiful, Ianto Jones,” he whispered. “You’re so beautiful and far too modest – and I love you.” He pressed a kiss to Ianto’s forehead. “You have no idea how much it hurts me to have you think those things about yourself.”

Ianto dropped his gaze. “I’m sorry. I just...” he pulled away from Jack, a tear making its way down his cheek. “For the past two years no one has ever spoken a kind word to me. I was called, ugly, pathetic, worthless, whore. Any name you can think of, they used it. They treated me like I was nothing, just someone they could fuck and order about and after a while it became easier to believe that. When people treat you like that, it’s easier to believe that it’s what you deserve.”

“Then why can’t you believe you deserve this too?” Jack asked, reaching out a hand to brush away Ianto’s tears. “I’ve not treated you cruelly. You mean everything to me, Ianto. You’re beautiful and brave, smart, kind and worth so much more than the people who did this to you. Don’t believe what they told you, Ianto. Believe me, believe this.”

Ianto shot him a watery smile. “It’s easier to believe the bad things. Then there are no hopes, no expectations of anything better. When things go bad, you accept them, because it’s what you deserve.” He shrugged. “And I do deserve it, even if they were lying, I’m still a murderer.” He swallowed, turning his back on Jack. “I don’t deserve this, Jack. I don’t deserve you.”

Jack shook his head, turning Ianto so he was facing him again. “Ianto, that doesn’t make you a bad person. In fact, the fact you feel guilty shows the opposite. I would have killed him for what he did to you, and I wouldn’t have felt any remorse. He would have suffered had I got my way. If either of us deserves ill treatment, it’s me. I’m the one who will never deserve you. I never did understand what you saw in me, why you stayed with me.”

Ianto bit his lip. “You saved me Jack, so many times. I loved you, and I’m starting to remember why.” He paused, sighing heavily. “You’re a good man, Jack. You would have killed him to save me again; I’d have killed him for revenge...”

“So would I,” Jack answered, not breaking eye contact with Ianto. “I would have killed him, slowly and painfully, for all that he did to you. I would have killed him even if you were already safe. He deserved what he got, Ianto, so you need to stop beating yourself up over it. You stood up for yourself - you were brave and you managed to save us both a lot of pain. And you did it for me – even after everything he did to you the revenge was for me, not yourself. I’m proud of you, Ianto, and you should feel the same. Not just for that but because you survived, you suffered so much and you still came out of it whole.”

Ianto blushed again, refusing to meet Jack’s piercing gaze. He pulled away from him, heading back to the coffee machine. “It doesn’t stop me feeling guilty, though.”

“I know, but that will fade in time,” Jack told him stepping up behind him. “You just need to accept that he deserved it, and that killing him doesn’t make you a terrible person, understand?”

Ianto nodded then shook his head. “I don’t think I’ll ever understand anything again,” he murmured. “I don’t understand how you can even look at me, not to mention how you can still want me.”

“Because you’re beautiful,” Jack told him, taking the coffee Ianto offered him. “Inside and out, because I love you.” He took a sip of the coffee, closing his eyes as the liquid slid down his throat. “And because you make the best coffee I’ve ever tasted.”

Ianto smiled faintly, taking his own coffee and stepping towards the living room. “Do you still want to watch a film?”

Jack knew it was a deliberate attempt to change the subject, but he let Ianto lead the way into the living room anyway, settling down at one end of the sofa. It was hard to hide the hurt when Ianto settled at the other end, passing the remote to Jack so he could choose something to watch. Jack would have liked Ianto to sit closer, cuddle into his side or something, not put distance between them. He wondered if Ianto was worried about something happening, but surely he had put those thoughts far from Ianto’s mind the night before? No, it had to be something else.

Glancing at the remote in his hand, Jack realised Ianto was passing the choices to him. He still wasn’t making his own decisions unless prompted to by Jack. Before all this Ianto would have sat beside Jack immediately, regardless whether he had been invited or not; now Ianto was so unused to making decisions for himself, still so fearful of the recriminations of doing something wrong, that he wouldn’t risk any such decisions without prompting. Something would have to be done.

He had an idea, something that would potentially help Ianto, something that would help him understand, help him realise he wasn’t alone but... at the same time Jack had no wish to dredge up the memories. Deciding that Ianto’s need was greater than his own, he pushed the remote onto the coffee table and glanced over at Ianto.

“You said before how you don’t understand why I still want you. I would always want you Ianto, but perhaps it would make it easier for you if you knew that I knew how you felt.” He swallowed. “I’ve been at the mercy of others and not known where to turn, or how to escape – even if I could escape. And I didn’t cope half so well as you.”

He paused, running a hand over his face, already dreading having to relive the memories. He chanced a glance at Ianto, who was watching him, eyes alight with concern.

“I’ve told you some of it, already.”

“The Master?” Ianto’s eyes widened. “Jack... he... he didn’t? Did he?”

“Only once,” he confirmed, nodding. Closing his eyes, he bit back a sob, not even reacting as he felt Ianto slide over the sofa to sit beside him, a hand resting gently on his arm. “Afterwards he said that he was disgusted with himself, that he should check I hadn’t infected him, called me a freak and left.”

He omitted the rest of the story, didn’t tell Ianto that it was the same day the Master had labelled his birthday, the day he had found out Ianto was dead. He didn’t tell Ianto that Jack had been left alone, Ianto’s corpse at his feet, video screens playing out recordings of his last moments. The combination had broken Jack, leaving him unwilling to even fight, unable to even believe there was anything worth escaping for.

“I was a shattered wreck,” Jack confessed. “I hated him for what he did to me, but I hated myself more for letting him.”

He felt Ianto’s arms tighten around him and rested his head on the younger man’s shoulders, stifling a sob. Ianto whispered, “You’re not a freak. Don’t ever think that you are.”

“I know,” Jack replied. “You convinced me of that, remember.” He glanced up at Ianto, smiling through his tears. He reached up, brushing his tears away. “And I’m going to convince you that those things they told you aren’t true.”

“How did you cope?” Ianto replied, shaking his head, his fingers stroking the back of Jack’s hands. “How did you seem so strong when you came back to us?”

“I didn’t cope; for a long time I just existed. I didn’t care what he did to me, there was nothing left to care about,” Jack admitted. “Then I realised that I couldn’t let him beat me, I had to fight him because if I didn’t – he’d won. And when I came back, you were there and suddenly everything was worth fighting for again. You were what helped me recover, Ianto; if I hadn’t had you then I’d have broken down a long time ago. These things happen, Ianto, and you can either let them eat you up inside until your so afraid of it happening again that you don’t even live - or you can fight it, let it make you stronger.” He gripped Ianto’s hand a little tighter. “You can beat them, Ianto, I know you can. I couldn’t bear to watch you give up.”

“I’m not as strong as you, Jack,” Ianto murmured. “I don’t think I can fight it. I can’t imagine not being scared anymore. I’m terrified that they’ll come back to me, take me away – or that people on the street will know what I am and think that they can use me...”

“I wouldn’t let that happen,” Jack told him with conviction. “And neither will you.”

He settled back against the arm of the sofa, pulling Ianto with him so that he lay against his chest.

“I know you, Ianto. I love you. Surely that counts for something?” Jack began, murmuring the words into Ianto’s hair. “Even before I fell for you, though, I knew you were intelligent, brave and strong. I knew you were someone I wanted on my team – if you were any less then I wouldn’t have given you a second chance. The people who hurt you never knew you, they never got chance to see your brilliance. Why would you believe them over me, when I know you better than they do?”

Ianto shrugged, shaking his head. “Because I don’t feel brave or clever. I feel dirty and worthless. I’m not as strong as you are, Jack”

“You will, in time,” Jack said, pressing a kiss to his hair. “When you’re ready I’ll get you back in the field; we can go weevil hunting, boost your confidence a little, remind you of just what you can do.”

Ianto smiled against him, looking up to meet his gaze. “You mean that?”

Jack grinned back. “Yeah,” Jack told him. “I mean it, we’ll stop all this talk of you being worthless. Soon enough we’ll have you thinking you’re just as wonderful as I think you are.” He paused, frowning. “Well maybe not as wonderful as I think you are, I know how modest you are.”

He flashed Ianto a grin. Ianto blinked up at him, a small smile spreading over his face. Then, he twisted around, leaning upwards to brush the softest of kisses over Jack’s lips. Jack smiled, entwining their fingers as he leant into the kiss. When Ianto pulled away his face was flooded with nerves. Jack had to kiss him again, a soft peck against his lips.

“I must say, I wasn’t expecting anything like that,” he smiled.

Ianto settled down against Jack’s chest again, smiling up at him with the smallest of blushes. “I think I’m remembering why I fell in love with you.”


	37. Chapter 37

The sun was shining as they waited by the water tower the next morning. It had taken Jack nearly half an hour to convince Rhys to meet them there in his lunch break, and then just as long to convince Ianto that nothing would happen to him if he ventured into such a public place. The fear still hadn’t left Ianto, it seemed, he still hovered close to Jack’s side, eyes frantically scanning the crowds for any sign of danger.

Jack couldn’t blame him, no doubt Ianto would be over cautious for some time still. Leaving the security of his flat, a space inhabited by only him and Jack, to visit a space busy with people on their lunch breaks had to be daunting. Slipping his hand into Ianto’s he gave it a quick squeeze.

“You’re doing just fine,” he murmured.

Ianto glanced up at him, smiling briefly before resuming his scanning of the crowds. “I know this is normal, but I can’t shake the feeling that people are watching me. It makes me nervous.”

Jack smiled. “People are watching you, Ianto. That’s what people do, but it doesn’t mean anything – they don’t mean you any harm. Some of them are just curious, wondering what we’re doing here, ; others, like those girls over there, are wondering if you’re single and if you’d be interested in them.”

“You mean...”

Jack nodded. “They think you’re beautiful, just like I do.” He twisted to pull Ianto into his arms, and dropped a kiss onto his forehead, watching out of the corner of his eye as the girls’ faces fell and they looked away. “And while that’s all fine, I’d rather not have the competition.”

Ianto ducked his head, a blush blossoming over his cheeks. “I don’t want to be with anyone else.”

“That’s what I like to hear,” Jack said, releasing Ianto and scanning the bay for Rhys. “Where is he, anyway?”

“He said he would be here,” Ianto replied nervously. “Do you think she will remember?”

Jack looked down at him. “Gwen has proven resilient to retcon before. I think the question is will she forgive me.” He stepped closer to the water tower. “I would understand if she never wanted to speak to me again.” He paused, gesturing across the plass. “He’s coming.”

Ianto followed his gaze to where Rhys was crossing the plass towards them. He didn’t look happy. Ianto knew Rhys was a good man and that he cared for Gwen a lot but still, on seeing the look on his face, Ianto took a small step closer to Jack.

“I thought you were going to leave us alone, Harkness!” Rhys hissed as he got close to them. “You caused enough damage, and now you turn up looking to cause more. What is it you want?”

“I made a mistake...” Jack began, but Rhys wasn’t listening. He was staring at Ianto in something akin to disbelief.

“I thought you were gone... Gwen said he said he’d lost you.”

Ianto shifted slightly, reaching for Jack’s hand again. “He found me again. That’s why he... we’re here.”

“So you can take Gwen back into your little group, give her all those memories back and hope it can just go back to how it was, is that it?” Rhys snapped, glaring between them. “Well that’s not going to work, Harkness. She was the one who chose to forget, you can’t change that.”

“She didn’t,” Jack confessed cutting into Rhys’ tirade. “I retconned her. I was selfish and it was a mistake, but it was my decision. Not hers.”

He braced himself for the punch that never came; meeting Rhys’ gaze, he saw the mix of horror and disgust that lined his features.

“You did what?” he spluttered, taking a step backwards, shaking his head. “You did it? You call her a friend then you take her life away from her! If that’s how you treat the people you care about then I’m glad I’m not one of them!” he turned to Ianto. “I’d get away from him while I can, mate.”

“Rhys, please...” Jack began.

“No, you’re not coming anywhere near my wife - not now, not ever!” He turned to leave.

“Rhys, wait!”

Jack started as Ianto pulled away from him, taking a step towards Rhys.

“Please, don’t do this. I know Jack wasn’t fair, but you can’t keep the truth from her, too. I know what it’s like to not know who you are, I...” He fell silent. “I... please, Rhys,”

Stepping forward, Jack took Ianto’s hand. “Rhys, I made a mistake but I’m sorry. If you don’t do this for me, do it for Ianto. Please.”

Rhys turned back to them, shaking his head. “Why, Harkness? Why did you do it?”

Jack dropped his gaze. “I could say that I didn’t want you to suffer what I did when I lost Ianto, but that wouldn’t be quite right. The truth is that I couldn’t stand watching her go home to you every day; I couldn’t listen to her talk about you – not when I had no one to go home to myself. I missed Ianto and I had to get out of Cardiff. The only way I could do that was to retcon her. I’m sorry... but you can’t keep those memories from her Rhys, doing that would be as bad as taking them in the first place.”

“Please,” Ianto added, “I need to know she’s alright.”

Rhys expression softened somewhat, but he still looked furious. “Alright,” he conceded. “You can see her, tell her the truth – but she is not going back to work with you. You won’t allow that, Jack, promise me that.”

“I think that’s Gwen’s decision to make,” Jack said. “If she wants to come back then I can’t refuse her.”

“She’s pregnant!” Rhys snapped. “So, yes you bloody well can refuse her! I’m not having anything happen to her because of you.”

“What?” Jack exchanged a glance with Ianto, then he grinned at Rhys. “That’s great news, Rhys. Congratulations.”

“Don’t try to change the subject, Harkness,” Rhys said, although it was much too obvious that he was delighted with the pregnancy.

“Look,” Jack said, “I won’t refuse her, but if she wants to come back then I’ll put her on desk duty. She won’t go into the field, and any sign of danger I’ll get her out of the Hub immediately, okay? It’s what I’d do for any of my employees.”

Rhys didn’t look completely convinced. “If anything happens to her or that baby, Harkness...”

“I’ll hand you the gun myself.” Jack glanced at Ianto. “Look, I know I’m asking a lot, but please: do this for Gwen. She deserves better.”

Rhys nodded. “Where do you want to do this, then?”

“I’ll arrange it - book a table somewhere, text you the details,” Jack explained. “Ianto, you okay with that?”

“Yeah, as long as you’re there.”

Jack nodded. “Right, all you need to do is get yourself and Gwen there, and be there for her afterwards. She’s going to need you.”

“Right,” Rhys nodded. “I’ll get her there, but I’m doing it for Gwen, no one else.” He sighed, clearly not liking the situation. “If anything I’d be glad to have her back the way she was, I miss her.”

Jack nodded, placing his hand on Rhys’ shoulder. “I know,” he said, “And you’ll get her back. I’m just sorry things happened this way in the first place.”

“Yeah, well, it did.” Rhys nodded, looking from Jack to Ianto. “I’m going to have to get back to work. Jack, Ianto, I’ll see you tonight.”

“Well,” Jack shrugged, glancing from Rhys’ retreating back to Ianto. “That wasn’t as bad as I thought it could be.”

***

“Do you think she’ll forgive me?” Jack asked as they stood outside the restaurant waiting for Gwen and Rhys to arrive. He was dressed in his usual clothes; his greatcoat draped over one arm. He knew it would look out of place, but he needed every bit of help if Gwen was to recover her memories.

Ianto, looking immaculate in one of his three piece suits, stepped over to join him. “She will, I know it.” He stepped closer to Jack, smoothing out the lapels of his shirt. “Jack, what do I tell her?”

“Whatever you want; tell her what we told your parents. If she pushes it I’ll have words with her – it’s your business, not hers.” Jack told him, taking Ianto’s hands. “How are you feeling?”

“A little nervous,” Ianto admitted. “I can feel their eyes on me, like they know what I am. A part of me just wants to run and hide from them all. I can’t do that though, I’d be letting you down and I...”

“You wouldn’t,” Jack interrupted. “You’ve never let me down. Being afraid is understandable, but I swear, if they’re looking at you it’s only because they wish they were with you, or that they want to be you.”

“Why would anyone want to be me?”

“Well, you’re gorgeous, for one thing, and you look good in a suit. An expensive suit, may I add, so, you’ve clearly got money - oh, and you happen to have a stunning guy on your arm.” Jack winked at a young woman as she walked past, clearly giving him the eye. “That’s at least three good reasons to be you.”

Ianto laughed quietly, deciding not to list the many reasons not to be him. “You could have anyone you wanted in here, that’s for certain. You’d just need to smile at them and they’d fall for you.”

“I don’t want anyone, I want you.”

Ianto stopped, the blush spreading across his cheeks as he shook his head. “I don’t understand that, I never will.”

He wouldn’t either. Jack was perfect; he would live forever – why would he want to waste a lifetime with him? Why would he even look at him twice – he was nothing special, and he never had been. He knew that, Jack, however, seemed to think differently. Jack thought he mattered. Jack thought he was special. Jack ignored the past, he saw only Ianto.

“Love isn’t meant to be understood,” Jack said, his lips brushing over Ianto’s in a chaste kiss. “I’ve lived over a century and I still don’t get it.” He pulled back. “But never mind that, Gwen and Rhys are here.”

Sure enough, they were walking towards the restaurant. Rhys was dressed in a simple shirt and pair of dress trousers, Gwen in a knee-length green dress. They were laughing and talking as they approached. It wasn’t until they stopped in front of them that Gwen noticed them.

Rhys looked between them. “Gwen, love, this is Jack and Ianto, the friends I was telling you about.”

Gwen grinned “Hi, Gwen Williams - I must say you’re much better looking than Rhys’ usual friends.”

“We’re better looking than most people’s friends,” Jack said. Despite his grin, his eyes were filled with disappointment. Ianto shared the feeling; he hated the thought of a Torchwood without Gwen.

“I can’t help but think you seem familiar though,” Gwen continued. “I haven’t met you before, have I?”

Jack glanced to Ianto, clearly very nervous. “Let’s go and sit down,” he began. “We have a lot to talk about.”

He led the way into the restaurant, Ianto followed behind quickly, not wanting to be left alone with Rhys and Gwen. He didn’t want to suffer their awkward questions and he certainly didn’t want to be pressured to tell more about himself than he wished to. He knew they followed though; he could hear Gwen’s high heels clicking on the wooden flooring.

He sank into his chair beside Jack with some relief. One look at the Captain’s face brought all his nerves back to the surface, however. Jack was going to tell her the truth – and sooner, rather than later. While Ianto knew this had to happen - wanted it to, even - he was only now becoming aware of how large a fall out it would have. Gwen would shout and draw attention, and that was the last thing Ianto wanted. He swallowed nervously.

Jack’s hand slid around his wrist. “It’s ok, everything will be fine.”

Signalling to a waiter, he ordered a bottle of wine. Gwen took the seat opposite Jack, Rhys sliding in beside her.

“What’s all this about, then?” Gwen asked.

“Gwen, have you ever heard of Torchwood?” Jack began, squeezing Ianto’s hand beneath the table. It hurt, but Ianto didn’t complain, knowing Jack didn’t mean to and that drawing attention to the fact would only make him feel worse.

“Torchwood?” Gwen asked, frowning slightly; there was something in her eyes though, something almost bordering on recognition. “I think I’ve heard that before, are they that new band, or something?”

Jack shook his head. “Ianto and I – and you - we were Torchwood. We... we were special ops. We...” he sighed, glancing at Ianto before looking back to Gwen. “Look, what I’m going to tell you is going to sound crazy, you’ll think I’m insane – but I’m not, you’re going to have to trust me on that.” He took a deep breath, shaking his head. “Torchwood is an organisation beyond the government and above the police. Cardiff exists on a rift in space and time, and Torchwood exists to monitor and clean up what comes though.”

“Aliens,” Rhys put in, earning a sharp glance from Jack.

“Not just aliens,” Jack corrected, “But that’s part of it.”

“Ok... that’s enough” Gwen interrupted, looking over to Rhys. “Is this some kind of joke? There’s no such thing as aliens - and me in special ops, you’re having me on, aren’t you?” Her voice was steadily growing louder and more high pitched as she became more and more confused. “Yeah, let’s all laugh at the girl with amnesia – hahaha, well you’ve had your joke now. Rhys, I can’t believe you were in on this! Are you keeping anything else from me? Any fairies at the bottom of the garden you’ve not told me about?”

“Don’t blame Rhys,” Jack cut in. “I told him not to say anything.”

“You told him?” Gwen asked. “What have you got to do with it? I’m a police officer, I always have been. I was in a car crash and lost two years of my memory. That’s all. No special-ops. No aliens. Nothing like that. I’ve never seen you before in my life!”

“There was no car crash, Gwen,” Jack continued, squeezing Ianto’s hand tighter for support. “I drugged you, wiped two years from your memory.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Gwen scoffed. “This has gone too far, and I can’t believe you’d play along with this, Rhys! I’m going home!” Before any of them could stop her, Gwen got to her feet, grabbed her handbag and stormed out of the restaurant.

Rhys made to move after her, but Jack shook his head. “I’ll go, this is my doing. I have to be the one to make it up to her. Besides, I’ll probably stand a better chance of convincing her of who she is – and the damage will be considerably less long-lasting.” He stood, looking down at Ianto. “You will be alright, if I leave you for a while, won’t you?”

Ianto nodded, glancing momentarily at Rhys.

“I’ll be fine,” he said, eventually, tugging his hand from Jack’s. “Go on,” he urged when Jack hesitated hoping he sounded braver than he felt. He waited until Jack had left before glancing back to Rhys.

“You okay, mate?” Rhys asked, frowning in concern.

“I’m fine,” Ianto replied, trying for a smile. He glanced in the direction Jack had gone in, wishing that he would return. He wasn’t scared of Rhys, he knew him to be a good man, but being surrounded by so many strangers – strangers he could feel watching him – was unnerving, more so when Jack wasn’t there... if anything happened...

Ianto swallowed, forcing those thoughts to the back of his mind. Nothing would happen. He was on earth, home; he was safe here. Even without Jack, he was safe. And if it did, he could fight them off, couldn’t he?

“Hey, Ianto, I’m going to go get some air, do you want to join me?”

Ianto glanced over to Rhys, holding his gaze for a moment before nodding, grateful for the chance to escape the restaurant. Rhys wouldn’t harm him, Ianto was certain of that, and besides, outside would be closer to Jack, to safety. Climbing to his feet he followed Rhys out of the door and onto Mermaid Quay. Together, in silence, they walked around to the plass, coming to a halt below the water tower.

“Jack will know where we are, won’t he?” Ianto questioned as he sank down onto the steps. “I don’t want him worrying.”

He didn’t add that he was still afraid of being too far from Jack for too long. Jack was safety and protection, and without him around Ianto felt a little lost and afraid. He couldn’t bring himself to trust the other people around him, and hated the looks he got from them. Jack’s insistences that they only looked at him because they wanted him it were no real comfort either.

“Of course he will, you don’t need to be sat in one place for him” Rhys scoffed, sinking down beside him. “How do you think it’s going with them?”

***

“Gwen, wait!” Jack yelled, hurrying down onto the plass. She was halfway towards the water tower by now and ignoring him. That was hardly surprising, Jack considered; she probably thought he was a madman.

He increased his pace, catching her beneath the water tower. Without giving her any forewarning, he reached out wrapping his hand around her wrist. “Gwen, please, listen to me!”

“Get off me!” she snapped, trying to pull away. “Get your hands off me.” Jack only held on, tugging her towards him and onto the invisible lift. “You’re insane, you are! What do you think you’re doing?” She raised her free hand to pound against his chest. “Let me go!”

Jack had to raise his voice, to be heard over her increasingly louder screams. “They can’t hear you, Gwen. They can’t even see us. Stop fighting me and let me explain.”

He used her momentary distraction at his words to activate the lift with his wrist-strap. As the lift began to sink into the hub Gwen shrieked and stepped closer to him, eyes wide with fright.

“It’s alright,” Jack said, releasing his grip on her. “It’s going to be alright.” He gestured around the hub. “Welcome to Torchwood Three.”

Gwen’s wide eyed expression was reminiscent of the first time Jack had met her. He smiled at the thought, taking a step back from her as she stared around at the Hub in surprise. “What is this place?”

“The Hub,” Jack explained, “Where we work, Ianto and I – and you.”

He pulled her in closer as Myfanwy flew overhead and shrieked, correctly predicting her frightened scream. He chuckled as she pulled away, a disgruntled expression on her face.

“I’ve never seen this place before,” she said as the lift settled on the floor. Jack stepped off, holding out a hand to lead Gwen into the centre of the Hub.

“You have, Gwen. You know this place. You just have to remember, try and remember...”

He trailed off as he watched Gwen move around the Hub, a look of utter amazement on her face. She reached her old work station, her fingers brushing over the surface as she turned back to Jack. “It all feels so familiar, and you... you...”

Her eyes shot wide in realisation and she staggered backwards, shaking her head. “Oh my god...” she whispered. “Jack...”

“Hey,” Jack smiled, and held open his arms. “Welcome back. It’s still a bit of a mess, but it was much worse this morning before Ianto and I got started on it.”

The confusion on Gwen’s eyes gave way to disbelief and then anger. “You bastard! You retconned me.”

She strode across the Hub towards Jack, barely waiting a beat before punching him.

Jack winced, raising a hand to rub at his jaw. “Ouch, although I can’t deny I deserved that!” He smiled nervously. “You’ve still got one hell of a right hook.” Gwen wasn’t smiling, the expression on her face made Jack very glad that she didn’t have her gun with her. He took a wary step forward. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

Gwen shook her head. “Sorry? You’re sorry – for taking two years of my memories? I’ve spent the last few months wondering who I was, what I’ve forgotten, and all because you took them from me – I thought we were friends, Jack?”

Jack dropped his gaze. He was incredibly ashamed of how he had treated Gwen; he knew how wrong he had been. “I really am sorry, I know I hurt you, I was wrong... I just...”

He hesitated, not sure how to tell Gwen his reasons.

“I was selfish, I admit that,” he began, “But I couldn’t stay here anymore. Not without him - I couldn’t bear it. Walking down the street I’d see a young man in a well-cut suit and for a moment... I’d think it was him. I’d hear a Welsh accent and it would remind me of his – even the smell of coffee. There were so many memories of him everywhere – and I couldn’t stand it. I had to leave.”

Gwen was watching him, her sympathy more jarring than her anger. He deserved her anger, not her pity.

“You could have talked to me, Jack. I could have helped you. I missed him too, grieved for him – but we could have got through it together.”

“No,” Jack shook his head. “We couldn’t. I’d like to pretend I retconned you to save you from Ianto’s fate, to protect Rhys from mine but... that would be a lie. I did it so I could escape, no ties. I did it because I was jealous of you and Rhys, of how you still had him when I’d lost everything. Retconning you seemed kinder than just leaving you behind - alone. At least you could get on with your life, instead of waiting for a return that may have never happened.”

“You bastard,” Gwen whispered, and Jack thought she would hit him again when she moved towards him. He was surprised when he found himself in her embrace. “I should hate you Jack Harkness, I really should. I want to, but I can’t.”

She pulled away, looking at him curiously. “That really is Ianto, up there, isn’t it? You’ve found him? He’s himself..?”

Jack nodded. “I have, and he’s... he’s getting there. It’ll be a long time before he’s himself again, but he’s healing – don’t ask what he’s been through. That’s for him to say in his own time and he doesn’t need it bringing up again.”

Gwen frowned, and Jack knew that she wouldn’t be able to resist asking Ianto. It was in her nature to ask questions. He shook his head to forestall the ones that were already on her lips.

“Gwen, he may tell you in his own time, but there’s a chance he won’t. You’ll have to accept that, I won’t have him upset.”

“Then I won’t say anything.”

Jack nodded, drawing her back into his arms and pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Don’t blame Rhys, this wasn’t his fault. He only went along with it because I told him you’d done it to yourself. He only did it to protect you.”

Gwen met his gaze levelly. “He won’t be getting away with this. He lied to me, went along with it all. He should have told me the truth.”

“He loves you, Gwen. He only lied to protect you - and now you both have something else to protect. Is it any wonder he didn’t tell you when you’d be safer away from Torchwood?” Jack glanced down at her stomach, raising an eyebrow. “I’ll have to get the old maternity policy from the archives, I suppose.” His eyes twinkled. “Congratulations.”

Gwen’s hand brushed over her stomach and she smiled. “Thank you. I can still come back, though? You’re not going to stop me.”

Jack shook his head. “I’ll revoke your field clearance until you give birth. You’re strictly on Hub duty – paperwork, correspondence with UNIT and the government… the stuff you’re best at. After the baby’s born – we’ll see how it goes.”

Gwen nodded, wiping a hand over her eyes to brush away tears. “I think Rhys’ll be happy with that.” She smiled, embracing Jack again. “Can we go and see Ianto now?”

Jack nodded, knowing he’d left his lover alone long enough. He was anxious to get back to Ianto, not only for the Welshman’s sake, but to alleviate his own fears that something would go wrong. He held out a hand to Gwen, leading the way over to the invisible lift.

“Let’s go and find Ianto, and remember - no questions about what he’s been through.”

***

Ianto was beginning to worry about Jack. He knew that the Captain would be alright, but he had been away for a long time – and he was starting to get nervous about the amount of people milling around the plass. He was fast getting used to their looks; after all, no one had hurt him so far – even without Jack to look out for him.

The people were mostly hurrying through, minding their own business. A couple of young mothers were on the other side of the plass, chatting as their children played together, but most of the passers-by were couples or families heading towards the restaurants.

A part of him wanted to search for Jack, but he didn’t want Jack to think he couldn’t cope alone. He wanted Jack to believe he was capable of looking out for himself – that he was getting better and wasn’t some needy, weak dependant. He knew that Jack would have to spend some time convincing Gwen of the truth – and then calming her down – but Ianto was wary of the old jealousy he had felt when it came to Gwen. If she had offered, would Jack have gone to her? Ianto wouldn’t have blamed Jack if he’d chosen Gwen over him – especially now of all times.

Ianto shook his head, closing off those thoughts. Jack had rescued him, hadn’t he? He’d left Cardiff because of losing Ianto; he’d retconned Gwen because of him. Surely that meant something? Jack said he loved him, and Ianto believed that – but how long would that last, especially when he was confronted with so many more – and better – options.

A terrible scream silenced his thoughts. He turned his head, his eyes widening at the scene before him. He barely heard Rhys’ muttered ‘bloody hell!’, he was so fixated on the sight of the weevil. Ianto had no idea where they had come from, no clue how he had missed its approach, all he knew was that it had cornered one of the two children and was closing in on the frightened girl – fast.

Panic shot through Ianto. The girl was trapped; she was going to be killed if no one did anything. The mother would never get there in time, the other people on the plass seemed to have disappeared, Jack and Gwen were still missing. There was nothing anyone could do. He sat rooted as the weevil crept closer to the girl, its snarling doing nothing to cover the cries of the girl and her mother.

He climbed to his feet, was running across the plass before it really registered what he was doing. The momentary terror and incomprehension was overcome by an overwhelming feeling of familiarity. This is what he was good at. This was what he did. He dropped down beside the girl, pulling her into his arms and shielding her with his body just as the weevil struck out. Sharp claws sliced through the skin of his upper arm and he screamed, closing his eyes and pulling the sobbing, frightened child in tighter as the alien moved in closer. He knew he had to protect the girl, had to keep her safe until help arrived. She was young, an innocent, and more important that he could ever hope to be.

The weevil’s claws raked across his back, cutting deep into his shoulder. Tears burned at the back of his eyes. He didn’t want to die. He hadn’t told Jack how grateful he was yet, hadn’t had the chance to fall in love with him again.

“Jack...” he whispered.

Two gun shots rang out across the plass and when Ianto dared open his eyes again the weevil was lying beside him. In the next instant a crowd of people were gathered around them, Jack was pulling him into his arms, the girl’s mother was taking her from him. Gwen and Rhys were there too and other anxious onlookers. Ianto closed his eyes, burying his face in Jack’s greatcoat.

“Stay with me, Ianto,” Jack ordered, taking control of the situation. “Rhys, you take the weevil, Gwen can show you were to put it – once you’ve done that I want you to clean up here. I’ll see to Ianto.”

Before Ianto could protest, Jack had pulled him into his arms, cradling him against his chest. His shoulder jarred roughly, and he closed his eyes, succumbing to the blackness that overcame him.

***

Ianto stirred, blinking awake with a groan. The most obvious sensation was pain, sharp and stabbing in his shoulder and arm. The memories flooded back at once: the girl, the weevil, Jack. Raising a hand he let his fingers drift over his shoulder, feeling the bandages beneath them. Someone had placed a pile of cushions behind him to stop him injuring his shoulder further and Jack’s coat was spread over him. He pushed himself upwards and glanced around the Hub. Jack was nowhere in sight but Gwen was heading over to him, a huge smile on her face.

He pushed himself to his feet, grabbing hold of the sofa arm to prevent himself from falling. Once he had regained his balance he stepped forward. “Gwen, hi. You remember then?”

She nodded. “You shouldn’t be up, you know. Jack will have a fit.”

Ianto paled, biting his lip and looking down. It took him a moment to recall that he wasn’t a slave and could do what he wanted. If Jack didn’t like him getting up it was only because he cared.

“I’m alright,” he told Gwen, ignoring the look of concern on her face. Curiosity too, which suggested Jack hadn’t told her – another thing to be thankful to him for. He knew Gwen would only be kind about it but she would ask questions and shower him with sympathy that he didn’t want. He wanted to forget what had happened to him, not be treated like he was going to break. Gwen, though well-meaning, would do exactly that.

“How are you feeling?” he asked after a moment or two.

“Fine,” she answered. “I’m angry at Jack and Rhys, but, well... I’m going to have to get over it. Jack’s explained why he did it, and I can accept that – even if I don’t like it.” She broke off, looking at him strangely. “He must really love you. I never quite realised how much. I remember now, losing you broke him completely. I’ve never seen him like that before.”

Shaking her head, Gwen stepped forward. “It really is good to have you back - I never thought I would see you again.”

She slipped her arms around his waist and pulled him close; after only the smallest hesitation, Ianto responded, sliding his uninjured arm around her.

“It’s good to see you too,” he replied. He smiled, watching as Jack approached again behind her. The Captain lingered in the doorway, giving them some privacy before heading over to join them.

Gwen smiled at him, taking a couple of steps back. “I’ll go and make sure Rhys isn’t touching something he shouldn’t, give you two some privacy.”

“Ianto, you shouldn’t be on your feet,” Jack chided gently once Gwen had hurried off, sinking onto the sofa and pulling Ianto down beside him. “I was thinking now you’re awake we should get you home. We can pick up some takeaway on the way, if you like?”

“That would be good,” Ianto replied as he leant into Jack a little, relishing in the arm that Jack slid around his waist. He glanced up at Jack, a sudden thought occurring. “The girl, is she alright?”

“She’s fine, all thanks to you,” Jack told him. “A little shaken up, but nothing a little retcon didn’t cure. The mother was incredibly grateful.” He smiled, sliding his hand into Ianto’s. “You were very brave out there.”

Ianto reddened and ducked his head. “I only did what anyone else would.”

Jack shook his head. “A lot of people just stood and watched, they wouldn’t have considered it - you risked your life for her, that was incredibly brave and quick thinking – I’d call it a little reckless too, but as you didn’t have any alternative, I’m willing to overlook that. I was very proud of you.”

Ianto reddened even more. “I couldn’t have let her die, she was young, innocent and I’m just... worth...”

“Don’t you dare say it.” Jack pressed a finger to Ianto’s lips. “You are not worthless – you proved that today. You, Ianto Jones, are a hero and you’re worth more than every one of those people who didn’t help.” He leant in, tilting Ianto’s face so their eyes met. “And I don’t want to hear anything different ever again, understood?”

Ianto nodded meekly. “You were the hero, really. If it wasn’t for you we’d both be dead.”

Jack shook his head once again. “Oh, no. You’re not getting off that easily. I would have been too late if not for you. Besides, risking something you know you can’t lose isn’t heroic – but you went in there knowing you could die. That’s heroic.” He pressed a kiss to Ianto’s lips. “Like I said before, you’re a hero.”

Ianto leant into the kiss, allowing Jack to deepen it. When they finally pulled away, it was with some reluctance on Ianto’s part. He needed to show Jack how much his faith in him meant. Jack’s words played back in his head and Ianto forced himself to admit that he was the reason the girl was still alive – if not for him Jack would have surely been too late.

He glanced up at Jack, a little shyly. “I learnt from the best.”

He pressed another kiss to Jack’s lips, in a moment of daring letting his tongue slide into Jack’s mouth, twining with Jack’s own, tentatively exploring each corner of his mouth. They had kissed like this since Ianto’s memories had returned but the kisses had always been initiated by Jack and had never been this passionate. This time the Captain hung back, allowing Ianto to take the lead and set the pace. Ianto was glad of that, realising that it showed how serious Jack was about letting him set the pace. Kissing Jack in this way was wasn’t nearly as terrifying as he had thought it would be – in fact, Ianto found himself beginning to enjoy it. He still wasn’t ready for sex, but he was starting to believe it would be possible in the future.

“Let’s go home,” Ianto said, finally breaking the kiss and climbing to his feet. Feeling Jack’s hand wrap tighter around his, Ianto leant into Jack’s body as they slowly made their way from the Hub. He still had doubts and fears. He still worried he wasn’t good enough but today had shown him that the brave, intelligent man Jack had fallen in love with was still somewhere beneath all the pain. It was going to take a long time but Ianto was determined to make himself worthy of Jack’s love and learn to return it in full.

It was going to be a long road for the both of them but Ianto, in his heart, was starting to believe that they could work things out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it. The End. I'd like to thank everyone for reading, commenting and giving me kudos - I really do appreciate it.
> 
> There is a sequel which I will start posting soon.


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